A/N: I've just got a major writer's block on Wooden Words, so I did this little drabble to get things going. (I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't hate me.) The tone of this could be described, I suppose, as "quietly reflective". It's not really fluffy, but slightly...nostalgic? Remorseful? Not sure.
It just fits what I'm feeling, so I felt inspired. Please read and review- I know it's short.
"We'll just be two people finishing a conversation..." -Dan in Real Life
It's true what they say. You don't realize what you have until it's gone. It even applies to what was almost there. I miss it like an ache, a constant reminder that something's missing--even though that something was never real.
There was something...intense about Luna. Luna never went half way for anything. It was all or nothing.
That's what was so odd about us. We definitely weren't all, yet we weren't nothing. I'd turn and see her, watching me with her huge blue eyes. It's not a vague look, an empty stare. It's full of meaning, even if I'm not sure what that is.
It became a habit, looking up to catch her gaze. I don't even know when it became so routine. It was like we had a secret, even if the only secret was the neither of us knew what it was.
It was almost a hidden relationship... just without the relationship.
I don't think I deserve Luna, anyways. I wasn't the one who found her when she went missing during the Great War; I wasn't the one who nursed her back to health.
I wasn't her savior.
And now, here I am. Returning to Hogwarts for the first time, not as a student, but a teacher. It's so strange. I can't imagine living there as a teacher...not staying in the commonroom, not attending DA meetings, everything. She won't be there, that I know. She's taken over the Quibbler, and it's booming.
I think the fact that September 1st is so close is what really freaking me out.
Every day, I tell myself I'll go to visit her, see what's happening at the office. But now? Now, I'll be miles away. I'll be in Scotland--or Wales, actually. I'm still not sure where Hogwarts is. I can't go visit her; I can't even pretend I'll go visit her.
Luna is my grey area, my confusion. I know exactly where my life is heading, just what I want. But when I think of Luna, I don't know what I'm doing.
I say I'll owl her, but I haven't. I miss her like my own family, yet I haven't seen her for a year and half.
I think I'll owl her. Even if after all this time. nothing comes of it. Even if we're still what we've always been--friends, unsure of exactly what we are. Even if it causes me more pain to see her, knowing that our secret might have only been mine.
Even if we live out our lives, just people finishing a never ending conversation.
Even so, I wouldn't want to lose that little I had.
I hope you enjoyed... I know it jumps a bit, but it's supposed to be like someone's train of thought. Thanks for reading... want to review?