Disclaimer: I updated two days ago, and I don't believe it, but I still don't own anything! How frustrating is that?!
A/N: I made this one when I was feeling festive. I think you'll agree that the title is very creative. I hope you like it!
~0~o~0~o~0~
Lily Evans had had quite a few surprises in her life. The most obvious one being that she was a witch. Unfortunately, having been surprised before didn't prepare her for this. She wasn't sure if anything could've prepared her for this.
Christmas morning. Yes, it sounds absolutely delightful, but not for Lily. For one thing, her parents and Petunia had gone on holiday together, leaving Lily at Hogwarts. She loved Hogwarts, but this was the first time she wasn't spending Christmas with her family, so she was already a bit crestfallen, but she wasn't expecting Christmas to get worse than it already was.
Her parents had sent her some gifts, that resided at the foot of her four-poster. Lily grinned when she saw them. She then rolled off her bed and the assault on the gifts began. Within minutes, Lily had won, and various pieces of wrapping paper were strewn across the battlefield. Her friends had all gotten her books, while her parents gave her a lovely light blue dress, that was quite simple, but beautiful. They also got her a complete set of the Lord of the Rings series, muggle fantasy books that she had been dying to read for a while. Lastly, they got her a gorgeous hair clip that was lined with little stones. Lily thought that the jewels were fake, but it didn't really matter because it was stunning. She raked her dark red hair back, twisted it, and put the clip in. She smiled to herself. Petunia didn't send anything but a card. It was a Christmas card that she seemed to have gotten at a convenience store. There was a snowman on the cover. Lily looked inside.
Merry Christmas.
-Petunia
It seemed to Lily that her mum forced Petunia to write it. She bit her lip.
She hates me. Lily thought. It was partly because of Snape, too. And now he had called her a Mudblood. Lily grit her teeth and placed the card down, not knowing what to do with it. For the time being, she kicked it under her bed and stood up. Her roommates were already up and attacking their own presents. Lily took her time getting ready for the day, her mind still on the card that inhabited the space under her bed. She had sent Petunia a bracelet that she had transfigured from a goblet. Lily didn't want to seem rude, but if her sister was going to send a card, she might as well have written something other than Merry Christmas. That was kind of implied, wasn't it?
Even when she was walking downstairs to the common room, she was thinking about the card. She didn't even notice the large red envelope with EVANS scrawled on it on an armchair until she practically sat on it. When she found it, she took a look at it before it sprung open on its own.
"WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
A disembodied voice shrieked the lyrics to the Christmas carol, filling the whole common room with the noise. Lily screamed and put her hands over her ears.
"… TO YOU AND YOUR KIN. WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
Was the voice getting louder? Lily noticed that everyone in the common room also had their hands over their ears. Her face burned, from anger or embarrassment, she couldn't really tell. Potter. He must've been behind this. As if her Christmas wasn't rotten enough already. She grit her teeth and clenched her fists. The pig himself then came down the Boys' stairs, looking quite proud of himself. It was all she could do to not punch him in his stupid face.
"… GOOD TIDINGS WE BRING, TO YOU AND YOUR KIN. WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
Potter had a grin on his face that made Lily fume.
"POTTER!" She yelled over the card, marching over to him.
"WE ALL LIKE OUR FIGGY PUDDING, WE ALL LIKE OUR FIGGY PUDDING, WE ALL LIKE OUR FIGGY PUDDING, WITH ALL ITS GOOD CHEER! WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
Lily turned around in time to see the card explode with a POP, red and green confetti flying everywhere.
Apparently, her increasingly reddening face and glare didn't give Potter the hint that she was angry, because he kept smiling. He then flicked his wand, and Lily felt a sudden chill in the air behind her. She turned around, and found herself face to face with… a snowman.
The snowman was about as tall as her. It had coal eyes, a button nose, and a corn cob pipe. It held a broom in its hand. Not a broom for flying, but a regular, muggle broom. Lily took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself down, and turned around. Potter was still there, holding what looked like an old, silk top hat. He took a step toward the snowman and placed it on its head. For a moment, nothing happened. Then-
"FROSTY THE-"
Frosty never got to finish his sentence.
Why?
Because the next moment, Frosty had been beheaded, and his pipe had been thrown at Potter's head.
"Ow!" Potter exclaimed, rubbing his forehead. Lily turned around and stormed out of the common room, letting out a string of words that she wouldn't want to say in front of first years. When she was halfway up a staircase, she heard the portrait hole open behind her. "OI! Evans!" Potter's voice shouted. She quickened her pace, but he seemed to be quite fast, because soon enough, he was a few steps behind her. Lily stopped abruptly, causing Potter to bump into her. "Evans… I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd get mad." Potter said. Lily felt like she was going to explode.
"Potter. Why in the name of Merlin did you think I wasn't going to get mad?" She asked him. For a few seconds, Potter didn't answer.
"Because you've got to admit… that snowman was pretty cool." He replied at last. Lily opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again, watching a smug smile form on his face.
"That was the worst pun I've ever heard." She told him, starting to deflate a bit. "How do you even know who Frosty is?" She asked. She was pretty sure Frosty the Snowman was a muggle thing.
"Moony helped me out with that one." Potter admitted. Lily knew Moony was a nickname for Remus Lupin, Potter's friend and a fellow prefect. She was pretty sure his mum was a muggle. Lily sighed.
"I'm going to the Great Hall." She announced, turning around. After a few steps, she started hearing a strange sound behind her.
Clop. Clop. Clop.
Lily turned back around. There, where Potter had been a few seconds ago, stood a magnificent stag. Its nose was bright red and glowing.
Lily rolled her eyes.
"Really?" She asked. Potter, surprisingly, didn't pop out and shout "SURPRISE!" The stag just stood there, watching her intently with dark eyes. Lily sighed. "Rudolph's a reindeer, not a stag, by the way." She said to the corridor. No answer. Lily turned on her heel, glad that she got rid of Potter, and walked off.