Daisukes a little out of character, I kind of put myself in him... and some
of the thoughts in my head.. Except his case is a little different... and
these are some serious thoughts and I hate when people call me dramatic...
no offense but I kind of make Daisuke actually look smart.... and you see a
side of Jun that you might like and maybe even come to love. And I don't
mean to make Hikari look like a villain... so sorry bout that... she really
isn't a villain and sorry to any Takari fans. You might have a broken
heart when this fiction is done and read.
Yes people... I sit and talk to god ... it helps really. Though I don't talk to god about the same things Daisuke talks to him about. Some of the thoughts are mine though. You get what I am saying.
I do not own digimon... but I can't tell you why I don't want you to flame me because that could and would give parts of the story away...
I warn you... I really suck at writing... plus I am writing this at 2:53 AM ... and it's storming and I am blaring music through my headphones to drown the thunder out.... I'm annoyed by thunder...
Slight Taito... Lots of Daikeru (more and more through the chapters)
---
Chapter 1 -- Desire at its best. or worst?
tip tap tip tap... Daisuke wiggled the pencil so the eraser bounced on the table. He sat on a stool next to the desk. Yes, he was at school. They were high desk and for good reason. Drawing. Daisuke grinned and tapped his pencil faster. Takeru let his hands drop on the table... annoyed. "Daisuke... please." Takeru scowled at Daisuke, "Could you possibly be mature for once and stop KINDLY?" Daisuke smiled. "Sure." And with that he sat the pencil down. "Thank you." Said Takeru with relief in his voice. He looked back at Hikari. Drawing. The assignment was to draw the person next to you... Takeru chose to draw his 'girlfriend'. And Daisuke ... well... he wasn't drawing. He grinned and started to drum his fingers. Loudly... so that Takeru could hear.
"Daiiisuukkke... " Takeru moaned and plopped his head down on the table. Hikari blinked. "Daisuke please... give it up... we are trying to do our assignment." Hikari looked at him with big eyes. Eh... Daisuke thought to himself... I can't stand her when she looks at me like that. "Yah yah sure Hikari..." Daisuke mumbled. He turned back to his sheet of paper and... Well... drew. Daisuke had a talent for drawing... sort of. He had a problem with hands though... could never get them shaped right. Every once in a while he would look out of the corner of his eye and look at the side of Takeru's face... that was busied with drawing Hikari. They were going out... ha go figure, and that broke Daisukes heart. He hasn't liked Hikari for it ever since. In fact he hates her. I mean come on... after all Daisuke has done for her and all the emotions he spent on her she is going to go and take in the one guy who does nothing? Pfft...
But then... I could see why she took him in. Daisuke thought as he drew Takeru. He's smart, I bet he is pretty funny when you are friends with him, and... He is handsome. Daisuke blushed... yes folks... Daisuke had a crush on Takeru. And every day he watched him with his arms around Hikari he became more angered and alone. You can't just go and announce to the world that you like the same gender. People would think you are weird. Kind of like if a human went to mars and found little aliens and told them about their own culture... they would think that person was the alien right? Well, Daisuke felt if he just blurted it out then he would be an Alien. Suddenly Daisuke heard a giggle come from Hikari. He blinked and looked over. Takeru was grinning and Hikari was giggling... but Takeru wasn't doing anything. Daisuke looked under the table... oh very nice... footsie... Daisuke started to daydream. Maybe one day it would be Takeru laughing as they played footsie? Daisuke blushed and shook his head.
"Stop Takeru!"
"Alright... hehe..."
Daisuke mumbled under his breath... eavesdropping still though.
"Mm... Takeru.. guess what?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm going to America to visit Wallace!"
"Oh? Leaving me here for how long?"
"Oh don't be like that! I won't be gone forever! Just a week! And we have e-mail do we not?"
"Yah... but still. I don't want you to go. When are you going?"
"Awe! Tee Hee Takeru! I love you to! I'm going today... my plain leaves at 4! I want you to come to the airport... please?"
Daisuke rolled his eyes and mocked Hikari under his breath. "awe... tee hee Takeru..." and then he gagged. Daisuke sighed and set the pencil down. He doubted that he would ever have Takeru... or that he would ever come out that he was gay. People would make fun of Daisuke right? Just because he was a tad bit different... the world is so not fair... just because you were a little bit different doesn't mean that people have to right to tease. How would they feel? Could they possibly look at the world through Daisuke's eyes? Daisuke began to think. The world isn't fair... I would lose everything if I came out and said I like Takeru... I mean what would happen huh? People probably wouldn't accept us very quickly. But hey I can't sit here and think that Takeru could possibly like me... and he doesn't. I mean look at them! They are perfect together. Their brothers are going out... their digimon are alike... they are in love. How could they be wrong? They are so damn perfect it pisses me off. Hey! Wait a minute! Aren't Yamato and Taichi going out? They both are guys! Maybe I could turn to them for help. Taichi would tell Hikari. Daisuke reached up and pulled his goggles off his head and set them down in his lap and looked at them. Taichi... he's so kind. Even if sometimes he can be a bit bossy. But ever since he was with Yamato he hasn't been bossy. Maybe Taichi could comfort me? He and I are practically the same right? But then... if me and Taichi are the same... and Yamato loves Taichi and Takeru is Yamato's little brother... then why can't Takeru love me? Oh yes that is right... Hikari... she IS in the same gene pool as Taichi... no wonder. I wonder what Taichi would say if I told him I liked Yamato's little brother? Would be stare at me like I was stupid? He couldn't... after all he is gay just like me. "Wow Daisuke... is that me?" Daisuke snapped out of his trance and looked at Takeru. Blush blush. "Yes... it's the assignment is it not?"
"Wow you draw good... I can't draw worth beans." He gave and uneasy laugh and looked at his drawing of Hikari. Daisuke blinked. "The eyes are to low and the shoulders are to high. Arch the back more and make the arms a bit longer... not much." Daisuke pointed to the body parts that were messed up. Takeru nudged him away a bit. "You're embarrassing me... So I can't draw ok!?" Takeru said flushing red in front of Hikari. Hikari smiled. "I think you did good!" She tilted her head. Daisuke growled and picked his pencil up and drew a mustache on the picture of Takeru. Ooo... he hated Hikari.
*RING RING* ... The bell rang and suddenly everyone got up and started to clean up their areas. "Alright, see you all on Monday! Have a nice weekend!" the teacher said as everyone threw their backpacks over their shoulders and went out the doors. Daisuke walked slowly behind everyone who ran ahead. He walked behind Takeru and Hikari at a distance... wishing they would hurry up and run off.... he didn't like watching them giggle and flirt.
"So you will be at my house at... ?"
"I'll just walk with you home..."
"Awe Takeru! You're the best boyfriend I have ever had!" She giggled and locked fingers with Takeru. Daisuke's heart dropped. Ya know... it is so hard to watch the person you love, love someone else... Just standing there behind them and watching them hold hands and laugh together... it makes you want to be that person holding hands and laughing... but you know you can never be that person. Especially in Daisukes case. It's so hard when you are a guy watching the guy you like, love a girl... as much as Takeru loves Hikari. Daisuke looked down and kicked some dirt up. Finally they had made it out of the school and Takeru and Hikari walked off in the direction of Hikari's house. Daisuke walked the separate way... listening to them laugh and push each other. "Takeru..." Daisuke whispered to himself and walked faster. He hated this... watching Takeru laugh and hug with Hikari. "I wish she would just... disappear... die... I feel so selfish... I just want him to myself..." Daisuke said under his breath. He got to his house and opened the door slowly. Jun wouldn't be home for a while, and mom and dad were out on vacation, but there was someone home that he could always turn to. And there he was wobbling down the stairs. "Daishuke!" the little blue digimon squealed and ran to Daisuke. Hopping up and down and opening and closing his fists up to Daisuke. Wanting him to hold him. The cool thing about digimon was they didn't really care ya know? Digimon really don't ever fall in love... and they don't really know why it would be weird for Daisuke to like Takeru... Daisuke's digimon knew... and knew it was a secret. "Alright alright..." Daisuke took his back pack off and set it by the door... he took his shoes off and set them by his back pack... then off came that pilot jacket and he hung it up on a hook. "Come here you..." he reached down and picked Demiveemon up. Demiveemon wiggled up and licked Daisuke's cheek wildly. "Haha... stop it..." he laughed and pulled Demidevimon down, and just held him like a baby and tickled his little stomach. Demiveemon squealed and giggled. Daisuke laughed and started up the stairs to his room. He opened the door but left the light off. "What have you been doing today?" he asked his Digimon as he set him on the bed and turned the silver lamp on that set on his desk. It was enough light to brighten the whole room. "Shleeped with the bear!" Demiveemon smiled and padded over to the bear that was laying against Daisuke's pillow. "Shee!" he pushed the paw and it began to sing:
'Wild thing! You make my heart sing! You make everything, ooo... Wild thing.... Wild thing I think I love you!'
Daisuke blushed red. He had got that bear for Takeru when he found out he liked him. But he never really got around to giving it to him. It was a greenish blue color with a mauve snout and belly, and when you squeezed its paw it sung 'wild thing'. Demiveemon loves it. "Aw. Glad you had a nice nap." Daisuke smiled and plopped back on his bed. Since it was waterbed it made the whole bed wave... Demiveemon laughed and rolled around. Daisuke smiled at him... he was so cute. But then when he was Raidramon or Flamedramon! He could kick some serious ass! Daisuke frowned... Flamedramon (after all) was courage. Taichi's crest. And Raidramon was friendship. Ironic isn't it? Daisuke sighed and kicked his legs up on the bed... making Demiveemon wiggle and laugh. "Daishuke... ish shomething wong?" Demiveemon said and crawled up on Daisuke's stomach and sat.
"Just thinking about Takeru... Hikari is going to America for a week... Trying to think of some way to get him over here... I want to tell him Demiveemon... but... I can't."
"Why not? Jusht tell him!"
There was a moment of silence... "Demiveemon... there is something I need to explain to you..." Daisuke sat up and picked Demiveemon up, he crossed his legs and sat Demiveemon down on the bed in front of him, "Me and Takeru are boys. People in the human world think it is stupid, wrong, horrible, awful ... or any other bad thing, for two boys to love each other and those people will make those two boy's life's horrible. Hikari is a girl... and it is ok for girls and boys to like each other." Daisuke said. When you are trying to hold back crying your voice sounds weird. That's what Daisuke sounded like. "But why Daishuke? That'sh shilly! I fink everyone should be able to like whoever dhey want!" Demiveemon said clueless, which was not helping Daisuke who had begun to cry. Not making whimper noises. Just tears. He is so clueless, Daisuke thought, if only I were like a Digimon... then telling the world my problem wouldn't seem so bad. In fact, I wouldn't even have any problems. The world would be all fun and games and I wouldn't have to worry about love. "Yes well... the humans aren't like digimon. Some are really cruel." Daisuke mumbled. "Daishuke I won't let anyone make your life horrible." Demiveemon said making his little paws into fists, and started punching the air. "They will hafta ansher to meh! Nobody picksh on MY Daishuke! He can want whoever he wantsh!" Daisuke laughed and picked up Demiveemon... hugging him tight. "Thanks pal'." he said. Demiveemon hugged his digidestines neck the best he could, since his little arms couldn't go all the way around his neck.
a hour went by and the door opened downstairs "I'm HOME!" there were keys jiggling. Bags moving. and the door shut. "Daisuke?" said Jun's voice. She started up the stairs. Daisuke quickly rubbed his eyes off his tears... no use... his eyes got a little red from the rubbing and were already glossy from crying. Jun opened the door. "Daisu-- oh my goodness! Have you been crying?" She asked and trotted over to the bed where Daisuke sat. She plopped down on the bed and gave an uneasy laugh, "Forgot it was a water bed..." Demiveemon flailed his arms and sung in happiness from the fun of the waves. Daisuke plopped on his back... and then sat up on his elbows... stretching his legs out behind Jun. "Just a little... I'm fine though." he said and blinked. "Nnn... Daisuke... you've been crying for a few days. And this bear... I have not seen." She picked up the little bear and pushed the paw.
'Wild thing! You make my heart sing! You make everything, ooo... Wild thing... Wild thing I think I love you!'
"Ha ha! How cute! Who got this for you?" Jun gave a suspicious look to Daisuke. A tear went down his face but he acted like it wasn't there. "Nnn... I got it for someone." Daisuke mumbled. "Oh really? Who's the lucky girl?" Jun said nudging Daisuke's leg with her shoulder. Daisuke bit his bottom lip and got mad... that hurt... how can she just think it was a girl? This world is not fair! Can't she think person? PERSON!? "HOW CAN YOU JUST ASSUME THINGS LIKE THAT? Can't you say person... person..." Daisuke had no idea why he snapped like that... "Well... gee... pe-- wait a sec." it hit Jun like a rock. She gasped. "Daisuke! Honey! I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that! You like a guy? I'm sorry it's just... been so normal for you to like a girl... I expected it to be Hikari."
"... you're... I just... he...I'm so confused... " Daisuke rolled on his side and curled in a ball... covering his face. "Normal! Why normal?! What's wrong with being different?! No One Is Normal! I am so tired of the way this world works! How people are so bias! This world isn't fair! Even my own sister is judgmental!" Daisuke yelled at his pillow. Demiveemon's ears went flat and he nudged Daisuke's back. "Daisuke hon. Look... I never said there was anything wrong with being different... and you're right... we all are different. I wasn't being Judgmental... I just ... assumed. Really Daisuke... I don't know what to say," Jun reached over and pulled Daisuke's hand from his face and pushed some of his plum wisps out of his face, "Baby, don't be confused. Why are you confused?"
"... because I am not sure if I want to like him... I don't know if this is just an infatuation and it will pass. But this feeling... I don't feel like this is an infatuation... I want to tell ... it's been building up inside... this enigmatic secret... there are so little people out there like me or at least it feels like I am alone... I want to talk to someone who has been in my situation... but the only person I can't think of is Taichi... or Yamato... but I can't bring myself to tell them... especially not Yamato... I don't even know if I have reliance in him."
"Why not Yamato? Is there something different about Yamato and Taichi?"
"Yes... something very different... you see... Taichi's younger sibling is a girl... and... Yamato's little brother is the lucky 'girl'." Daisuke said sitting up. "Though I am sure he wouldn't consider himself lucky if he found out about this."
"Daisuke... don't put yourself down like that... I can talk to one of them? Well whatever you want... I mean I want to help you some way because I don't want to see my little bro' always upset like this." Jun grinned and locked her arm around Daisuke's neck and gave him a noogy. "Gah! Jun!" Daisuke said wiggling. Demiveemon clapped and laughed. Jun let go and smiled... hugging her brother with one arm. "Hey man, everything will be ok... I am always here. And I will talk to Yamato or Taichi. Soo" Jun's face suddenly turned to a smug grin and she poked Daisuke's cheek. "Takeru is the lucky one eh? Well he doesn't know what he is missing." Daisuke knew that she was only trying to make him feel better... he had a feeling that in her head she was going 'oh my god... my little brother is gay... what a fag... poor Takeru...' but then again he shouldn't be so pessimistic. "I feel so funny now that someone knows... you're right... it's always been normal for me to like girls and some one saying lucky guy makes me want to roll over and die for some reason." Daisuke said smirking.
"Awe, Daisuke. I'll talk to Taichi... I am sure he can be of some help. I will make sure he doesn't tell Hikari because you KNOW that little blabbermouth will tell Takeru. But hey, if you like him SO much then you should tell him... if he doesn't like you back then he isn't the one you want to be with for your life... I considered that after my 'infatuation' with Yamato. Who needs him huh? He's just a big asshole. 'Scuse my French." Jun giggled a little and hugged her brother tighter. "Everything's gonna be ok... I promise." She smiled and got up. "Now... I brought food home... you hungry Daisuke? How bout you Demiveemon?" She nudged Daisuke and walked to the door, "I'll be downstairs getting it ready... I'll call you when it's ready." and with that she left the room. Daisuke sighed and crossed his legs... picking up the bear. He squeezed the paw and listened to the music smiling. Demiveemon bobbled back and forth and smiled. "Demiveemon... I'm glad I have you to turn to..." Daisuke looked at the clock. "Well... Hikari is already on her way to America... it's 5:00. Time flies when you're mad." he sighed and plopped back on his back. So what now? Little by little my secret is coming out... sooner or later it will get somewhere. Daisuke what if this is just a feeling that you are confused on? He asked himself. What if this feeling is just a phase? What if this feeling is something that will eventually pass? What if this feeling is something that all boys feel? No... it can't be... I mean it's like you can't live without him. But ya know what if I girl comes along and you have this feeling on her? What is going to happen to me... I'm gonna end up alone in the corner of some asylum, shaking... Because I went crazy for thinking too much. Daisuke wiped another tear that had escaped. He sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. "Kami-sama... please don't let me go crazy," he prayed, "I really can't trust anyone except Demiveemon, my sister, and you. I mean who are you gonna tell? You don't even ever answer me... but it is good to know that someone out there will sit and listen... I wish that I could tell Takeru and not get made fun of... maybe that is why I am so scared to tell. My reputation would get ruined right? Everyone would make fun of me and call me fag. I can't tell... I wish this world were different and people would accept everyone no matter what. Why is it so bad for me to like Takeru? Is there a reason I shouldn't? Just one I can think of... ya know ... he is a boy... and I-- I am a boy. Why do people have to judge? I mean I know everyone knows me... but the boy I am at school is cruel and annoying. So no one knows the real me, and if I tell then everyone would know why I am so mean... if I tell... I wonder... would I still be so cruel? I would have to be right? Since after all I would have to put up with teasing. What if Takeru likes me back? Though really there is no hope I see for that... I mean if he does then he would have to put up with everyone chewing at him... I don't want to ruin his life... I don't want to confuse him and put him in the state I am in. Is that why I don't want to tell him? I love him way too much to tell him. Yes... I love him... this feeling is so different from other feelings I have had. I mean when I liked Hikari it was just a sense of territory... just property that no one can touch, no one... like your toys or something. You don't love them you just don't want people to touch them. Nobody but you can touch them.... but now this feeling is... is... is hard to explain. It's like the territory thing... but I think that is jealousy. This feeling is like desire. I have to have, I want to have, and I need to have. And if I have then I will never let go. Everyone can play with my new toy but it's mine... and I love it. I'm not saying Takeru is toy. But you know. The feeling for Hikari was different from the feeling with Takeru. I love him. I know now... I love him and it's not an infatuation. I can't think of liking someone else like this. It's too hard. I mean who else will there be? I can't tell the future but I know... I feel... like that if I don't have Takeru I will go crazy. Everything can change in the blink of an eye ya know. If I tell him and he says yes... then my life... I don't know... I will be so happy and no matter what people say about us I will still love him. But if he says no then... then there will be nothing... I can't change a person; especially in my case... very rarely a guy turns gay because one made a love confession right? Yamato and Taichi are just lucky... I wonder if they get made fun of? Probably not... Yamato is popular and whoever made fun of him would get their ass kicked. I'm not... Takeru IS popular. What if... what if..." Daisuke's eyes went wide and he shut them... tears streaming down his cheeks. "What if Takeru made my life a living hell?! What if he is the one to tell everyone to call me fag! He is the popular one! No... No... Why is life so unfair... if my life is going to get harder then I don't want to live! Can it get worse then what it is right now?" Daisuke fell down on his side covering his face. Demiveemon scrambled over and lay down in front of him. "Daishuke...." Demiveemon said, his ears going flat against his head, "Pweese don't kweye... I don't want to shee woo kweye." He nuzzled up under Daisukes arms and clung to his shirt. Daisuke hugged Demiveemon and whimpered a little tell he drifted off into sleep...
Yes people... I sit and talk to god ... it helps really. Though I don't talk to god about the same things Daisuke talks to him about. Some of the thoughts are mine though. You get what I am saying.
I do not own digimon... but I can't tell you why I don't want you to flame me because that could and would give parts of the story away...
I warn you... I really suck at writing... plus I am writing this at 2:53 AM ... and it's storming and I am blaring music through my headphones to drown the thunder out.... I'm annoyed by thunder...
Slight Taito... Lots of Daikeru (more and more through the chapters)
---
Chapter 1 -- Desire at its best. or worst?
tip tap tip tap... Daisuke wiggled the pencil so the eraser bounced on the table. He sat on a stool next to the desk. Yes, he was at school. They were high desk and for good reason. Drawing. Daisuke grinned and tapped his pencil faster. Takeru let his hands drop on the table... annoyed. "Daisuke... please." Takeru scowled at Daisuke, "Could you possibly be mature for once and stop KINDLY?" Daisuke smiled. "Sure." And with that he sat the pencil down. "Thank you." Said Takeru with relief in his voice. He looked back at Hikari. Drawing. The assignment was to draw the person next to you... Takeru chose to draw his 'girlfriend'. And Daisuke ... well... he wasn't drawing. He grinned and started to drum his fingers. Loudly... so that Takeru could hear.
"Daiiisuukkke... " Takeru moaned and plopped his head down on the table. Hikari blinked. "Daisuke please... give it up... we are trying to do our assignment." Hikari looked at him with big eyes. Eh... Daisuke thought to himself... I can't stand her when she looks at me like that. "Yah yah sure Hikari..." Daisuke mumbled. He turned back to his sheet of paper and... Well... drew. Daisuke had a talent for drawing... sort of. He had a problem with hands though... could never get them shaped right. Every once in a while he would look out of the corner of his eye and look at the side of Takeru's face... that was busied with drawing Hikari. They were going out... ha go figure, and that broke Daisukes heart. He hasn't liked Hikari for it ever since. In fact he hates her. I mean come on... after all Daisuke has done for her and all the emotions he spent on her she is going to go and take in the one guy who does nothing? Pfft...
But then... I could see why she took him in. Daisuke thought as he drew Takeru. He's smart, I bet he is pretty funny when you are friends with him, and... He is handsome. Daisuke blushed... yes folks... Daisuke had a crush on Takeru. And every day he watched him with his arms around Hikari he became more angered and alone. You can't just go and announce to the world that you like the same gender. People would think you are weird. Kind of like if a human went to mars and found little aliens and told them about their own culture... they would think that person was the alien right? Well, Daisuke felt if he just blurted it out then he would be an Alien. Suddenly Daisuke heard a giggle come from Hikari. He blinked and looked over. Takeru was grinning and Hikari was giggling... but Takeru wasn't doing anything. Daisuke looked under the table... oh very nice... footsie... Daisuke started to daydream. Maybe one day it would be Takeru laughing as they played footsie? Daisuke blushed and shook his head.
"Stop Takeru!"
"Alright... hehe..."
Daisuke mumbled under his breath... eavesdropping still though.
"Mm... Takeru.. guess what?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm going to America to visit Wallace!"
"Oh? Leaving me here for how long?"
"Oh don't be like that! I won't be gone forever! Just a week! And we have e-mail do we not?"
"Yah... but still. I don't want you to go. When are you going?"
"Awe! Tee Hee Takeru! I love you to! I'm going today... my plain leaves at 4! I want you to come to the airport... please?"
Daisuke rolled his eyes and mocked Hikari under his breath. "awe... tee hee Takeru..." and then he gagged. Daisuke sighed and set the pencil down. He doubted that he would ever have Takeru... or that he would ever come out that he was gay. People would make fun of Daisuke right? Just because he was a tad bit different... the world is so not fair... just because you were a little bit different doesn't mean that people have to right to tease. How would they feel? Could they possibly look at the world through Daisuke's eyes? Daisuke began to think. The world isn't fair... I would lose everything if I came out and said I like Takeru... I mean what would happen huh? People probably wouldn't accept us very quickly. But hey I can't sit here and think that Takeru could possibly like me... and he doesn't. I mean look at them! They are perfect together. Their brothers are going out... their digimon are alike... they are in love. How could they be wrong? They are so damn perfect it pisses me off. Hey! Wait a minute! Aren't Yamato and Taichi going out? They both are guys! Maybe I could turn to them for help. Taichi would tell Hikari. Daisuke reached up and pulled his goggles off his head and set them down in his lap and looked at them. Taichi... he's so kind. Even if sometimes he can be a bit bossy. But ever since he was with Yamato he hasn't been bossy. Maybe Taichi could comfort me? He and I are practically the same right? But then... if me and Taichi are the same... and Yamato loves Taichi and Takeru is Yamato's little brother... then why can't Takeru love me? Oh yes that is right... Hikari... she IS in the same gene pool as Taichi... no wonder. I wonder what Taichi would say if I told him I liked Yamato's little brother? Would be stare at me like I was stupid? He couldn't... after all he is gay just like me. "Wow Daisuke... is that me?" Daisuke snapped out of his trance and looked at Takeru. Blush blush. "Yes... it's the assignment is it not?"
"Wow you draw good... I can't draw worth beans." He gave and uneasy laugh and looked at his drawing of Hikari. Daisuke blinked. "The eyes are to low and the shoulders are to high. Arch the back more and make the arms a bit longer... not much." Daisuke pointed to the body parts that were messed up. Takeru nudged him away a bit. "You're embarrassing me... So I can't draw ok!?" Takeru said flushing red in front of Hikari. Hikari smiled. "I think you did good!" She tilted her head. Daisuke growled and picked his pencil up and drew a mustache on the picture of Takeru. Ooo... he hated Hikari.
*RING RING* ... The bell rang and suddenly everyone got up and started to clean up their areas. "Alright, see you all on Monday! Have a nice weekend!" the teacher said as everyone threw their backpacks over their shoulders and went out the doors. Daisuke walked slowly behind everyone who ran ahead. He walked behind Takeru and Hikari at a distance... wishing they would hurry up and run off.... he didn't like watching them giggle and flirt.
"So you will be at my house at... ?"
"I'll just walk with you home..."
"Awe Takeru! You're the best boyfriend I have ever had!" She giggled and locked fingers with Takeru. Daisuke's heart dropped. Ya know... it is so hard to watch the person you love, love someone else... Just standing there behind them and watching them hold hands and laugh together... it makes you want to be that person holding hands and laughing... but you know you can never be that person. Especially in Daisukes case. It's so hard when you are a guy watching the guy you like, love a girl... as much as Takeru loves Hikari. Daisuke looked down and kicked some dirt up. Finally they had made it out of the school and Takeru and Hikari walked off in the direction of Hikari's house. Daisuke walked the separate way... listening to them laugh and push each other. "Takeru..." Daisuke whispered to himself and walked faster. He hated this... watching Takeru laugh and hug with Hikari. "I wish she would just... disappear... die... I feel so selfish... I just want him to myself..." Daisuke said under his breath. He got to his house and opened the door slowly. Jun wouldn't be home for a while, and mom and dad were out on vacation, but there was someone home that he could always turn to. And there he was wobbling down the stairs. "Daishuke!" the little blue digimon squealed and ran to Daisuke. Hopping up and down and opening and closing his fists up to Daisuke. Wanting him to hold him. The cool thing about digimon was they didn't really care ya know? Digimon really don't ever fall in love... and they don't really know why it would be weird for Daisuke to like Takeru... Daisuke's digimon knew... and knew it was a secret. "Alright alright..." Daisuke took his back pack off and set it by the door... he took his shoes off and set them by his back pack... then off came that pilot jacket and he hung it up on a hook. "Come here you..." he reached down and picked Demiveemon up. Demiveemon wiggled up and licked Daisuke's cheek wildly. "Haha... stop it..." he laughed and pulled Demidevimon down, and just held him like a baby and tickled his little stomach. Demiveemon squealed and giggled. Daisuke laughed and started up the stairs to his room. He opened the door but left the light off. "What have you been doing today?" he asked his Digimon as he set him on the bed and turned the silver lamp on that set on his desk. It was enough light to brighten the whole room. "Shleeped with the bear!" Demiveemon smiled and padded over to the bear that was laying against Daisuke's pillow. "Shee!" he pushed the paw and it began to sing:
'Wild thing! You make my heart sing! You make everything, ooo... Wild thing.... Wild thing I think I love you!'
Daisuke blushed red. He had got that bear for Takeru when he found out he liked him. But he never really got around to giving it to him. It was a greenish blue color with a mauve snout and belly, and when you squeezed its paw it sung 'wild thing'. Demiveemon loves it. "Aw. Glad you had a nice nap." Daisuke smiled and plopped back on his bed. Since it was waterbed it made the whole bed wave... Demiveemon laughed and rolled around. Daisuke smiled at him... he was so cute. But then when he was Raidramon or Flamedramon! He could kick some serious ass! Daisuke frowned... Flamedramon (after all) was courage. Taichi's crest. And Raidramon was friendship. Ironic isn't it? Daisuke sighed and kicked his legs up on the bed... making Demiveemon wiggle and laugh. "Daishuke... ish shomething wong?" Demiveemon said and crawled up on Daisuke's stomach and sat.
"Just thinking about Takeru... Hikari is going to America for a week... Trying to think of some way to get him over here... I want to tell him Demiveemon... but... I can't."
"Why not? Jusht tell him!"
There was a moment of silence... "Demiveemon... there is something I need to explain to you..." Daisuke sat up and picked Demiveemon up, he crossed his legs and sat Demiveemon down on the bed in front of him, "Me and Takeru are boys. People in the human world think it is stupid, wrong, horrible, awful ... or any other bad thing, for two boys to love each other and those people will make those two boy's life's horrible. Hikari is a girl... and it is ok for girls and boys to like each other." Daisuke said. When you are trying to hold back crying your voice sounds weird. That's what Daisuke sounded like. "But why Daishuke? That'sh shilly! I fink everyone should be able to like whoever dhey want!" Demiveemon said clueless, which was not helping Daisuke who had begun to cry. Not making whimper noises. Just tears. He is so clueless, Daisuke thought, if only I were like a Digimon... then telling the world my problem wouldn't seem so bad. In fact, I wouldn't even have any problems. The world would be all fun and games and I wouldn't have to worry about love. "Yes well... the humans aren't like digimon. Some are really cruel." Daisuke mumbled. "Daishuke I won't let anyone make your life horrible." Demiveemon said making his little paws into fists, and started punching the air. "They will hafta ansher to meh! Nobody picksh on MY Daishuke! He can want whoever he wantsh!" Daisuke laughed and picked up Demiveemon... hugging him tight. "Thanks pal'." he said. Demiveemon hugged his digidestines neck the best he could, since his little arms couldn't go all the way around his neck.
a hour went by and the door opened downstairs "I'm HOME!" there were keys jiggling. Bags moving. and the door shut. "Daisuke?" said Jun's voice. She started up the stairs. Daisuke quickly rubbed his eyes off his tears... no use... his eyes got a little red from the rubbing and were already glossy from crying. Jun opened the door. "Daisu-- oh my goodness! Have you been crying?" She asked and trotted over to the bed where Daisuke sat. She plopped down on the bed and gave an uneasy laugh, "Forgot it was a water bed..." Demiveemon flailed his arms and sung in happiness from the fun of the waves. Daisuke plopped on his back... and then sat up on his elbows... stretching his legs out behind Jun. "Just a little... I'm fine though." he said and blinked. "Nnn... Daisuke... you've been crying for a few days. And this bear... I have not seen." She picked up the little bear and pushed the paw.
'Wild thing! You make my heart sing! You make everything, ooo... Wild thing... Wild thing I think I love you!'
"Ha ha! How cute! Who got this for you?" Jun gave a suspicious look to Daisuke. A tear went down his face but he acted like it wasn't there. "Nnn... I got it for someone." Daisuke mumbled. "Oh really? Who's the lucky girl?" Jun said nudging Daisuke's leg with her shoulder. Daisuke bit his bottom lip and got mad... that hurt... how can she just think it was a girl? This world is not fair! Can't she think person? PERSON!? "HOW CAN YOU JUST ASSUME THINGS LIKE THAT? Can't you say person... person..." Daisuke had no idea why he snapped like that... "Well... gee... pe-- wait a sec." it hit Jun like a rock. She gasped. "Daisuke! Honey! I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that! You like a guy? I'm sorry it's just... been so normal for you to like a girl... I expected it to be Hikari."
"... you're... I just... he...I'm so confused... " Daisuke rolled on his side and curled in a ball... covering his face. "Normal! Why normal?! What's wrong with being different?! No One Is Normal! I am so tired of the way this world works! How people are so bias! This world isn't fair! Even my own sister is judgmental!" Daisuke yelled at his pillow. Demiveemon's ears went flat and he nudged Daisuke's back. "Daisuke hon. Look... I never said there was anything wrong with being different... and you're right... we all are different. I wasn't being Judgmental... I just ... assumed. Really Daisuke... I don't know what to say," Jun reached over and pulled Daisuke's hand from his face and pushed some of his plum wisps out of his face, "Baby, don't be confused. Why are you confused?"
"... because I am not sure if I want to like him... I don't know if this is just an infatuation and it will pass. But this feeling... I don't feel like this is an infatuation... I want to tell ... it's been building up inside... this enigmatic secret... there are so little people out there like me or at least it feels like I am alone... I want to talk to someone who has been in my situation... but the only person I can't think of is Taichi... or Yamato... but I can't bring myself to tell them... especially not Yamato... I don't even know if I have reliance in him."
"Why not Yamato? Is there something different about Yamato and Taichi?"
"Yes... something very different... you see... Taichi's younger sibling is a girl... and... Yamato's little brother is the lucky 'girl'." Daisuke said sitting up. "Though I am sure he wouldn't consider himself lucky if he found out about this."
"Daisuke... don't put yourself down like that... I can talk to one of them? Well whatever you want... I mean I want to help you some way because I don't want to see my little bro' always upset like this." Jun grinned and locked her arm around Daisuke's neck and gave him a noogy. "Gah! Jun!" Daisuke said wiggling. Demiveemon clapped and laughed. Jun let go and smiled... hugging her brother with one arm. "Hey man, everything will be ok... I am always here. And I will talk to Yamato or Taichi. Soo" Jun's face suddenly turned to a smug grin and she poked Daisuke's cheek. "Takeru is the lucky one eh? Well he doesn't know what he is missing." Daisuke knew that she was only trying to make him feel better... he had a feeling that in her head she was going 'oh my god... my little brother is gay... what a fag... poor Takeru...' but then again he shouldn't be so pessimistic. "I feel so funny now that someone knows... you're right... it's always been normal for me to like girls and some one saying lucky guy makes me want to roll over and die for some reason." Daisuke said smirking.
"Awe, Daisuke. I'll talk to Taichi... I am sure he can be of some help. I will make sure he doesn't tell Hikari because you KNOW that little blabbermouth will tell Takeru. But hey, if you like him SO much then you should tell him... if he doesn't like you back then he isn't the one you want to be with for your life... I considered that after my 'infatuation' with Yamato. Who needs him huh? He's just a big asshole. 'Scuse my French." Jun giggled a little and hugged her brother tighter. "Everything's gonna be ok... I promise." She smiled and got up. "Now... I brought food home... you hungry Daisuke? How bout you Demiveemon?" She nudged Daisuke and walked to the door, "I'll be downstairs getting it ready... I'll call you when it's ready." and with that she left the room. Daisuke sighed and crossed his legs... picking up the bear. He squeezed the paw and listened to the music smiling. Demiveemon bobbled back and forth and smiled. "Demiveemon... I'm glad I have you to turn to..." Daisuke looked at the clock. "Well... Hikari is already on her way to America... it's 5:00. Time flies when you're mad." he sighed and plopped back on his back. So what now? Little by little my secret is coming out... sooner or later it will get somewhere. Daisuke what if this is just a feeling that you are confused on? He asked himself. What if this feeling is just a phase? What if this feeling is something that will eventually pass? What if this feeling is something that all boys feel? No... it can't be... I mean it's like you can't live without him. But ya know what if I girl comes along and you have this feeling on her? What is going to happen to me... I'm gonna end up alone in the corner of some asylum, shaking... Because I went crazy for thinking too much. Daisuke wiped another tear that had escaped. He sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. "Kami-sama... please don't let me go crazy," he prayed, "I really can't trust anyone except Demiveemon, my sister, and you. I mean who are you gonna tell? You don't even ever answer me... but it is good to know that someone out there will sit and listen... I wish that I could tell Takeru and not get made fun of... maybe that is why I am so scared to tell. My reputation would get ruined right? Everyone would make fun of me and call me fag. I can't tell... I wish this world were different and people would accept everyone no matter what. Why is it so bad for me to like Takeru? Is there a reason I shouldn't? Just one I can think of... ya know ... he is a boy... and I-- I am a boy. Why do people have to judge? I mean I know everyone knows me... but the boy I am at school is cruel and annoying. So no one knows the real me, and if I tell then everyone would know why I am so mean... if I tell... I wonder... would I still be so cruel? I would have to be right? Since after all I would have to put up with teasing. What if Takeru likes me back? Though really there is no hope I see for that... I mean if he does then he would have to put up with everyone chewing at him... I don't want to ruin his life... I don't want to confuse him and put him in the state I am in. Is that why I don't want to tell him? I love him way too much to tell him. Yes... I love him... this feeling is so different from other feelings I have had. I mean when I liked Hikari it was just a sense of territory... just property that no one can touch, no one... like your toys or something. You don't love them you just don't want people to touch them. Nobody but you can touch them.... but now this feeling is... is... is hard to explain. It's like the territory thing... but I think that is jealousy. This feeling is like desire. I have to have, I want to have, and I need to have. And if I have then I will never let go. Everyone can play with my new toy but it's mine... and I love it. I'm not saying Takeru is toy. But you know. The feeling for Hikari was different from the feeling with Takeru. I love him. I know now... I love him and it's not an infatuation. I can't think of liking someone else like this. It's too hard. I mean who else will there be? I can't tell the future but I know... I feel... like that if I don't have Takeru I will go crazy. Everything can change in the blink of an eye ya know. If I tell him and he says yes... then my life... I don't know... I will be so happy and no matter what people say about us I will still love him. But if he says no then... then there will be nothing... I can't change a person; especially in my case... very rarely a guy turns gay because one made a love confession right? Yamato and Taichi are just lucky... I wonder if they get made fun of? Probably not... Yamato is popular and whoever made fun of him would get their ass kicked. I'm not... Takeru IS popular. What if... what if..." Daisuke's eyes went wide and he shut them... tears streaming down his cheeks. "What if Takeru made my life a living hell?! What if he is the one to tell everyone to call me fag! He is the popular one! No... No... Why is life so unfair... if my life is going to get harder then I don't want to live! Can it get worse then what it is right now?" Daisuke fell down on his side covering his face. Demiveemon scrambled over and lay down in front of him. "Daishuke...." Demiveemon said, his ears going flat against his head, "Pweese don't kweye... I don't want to shee woo kweye." He nuzzled up under Daisukes arms and clung to his shirt. Daisuke hugged Demiveemon and whimpered a little tell he drifted off into sleep...