"Naminé… when you have a minute, we need to talk."
Usually, when you hear those words come out from your boyfriend's mouth, you usually panic, right? Unfortunately, he's no boyfriend. As a matter of fact, he's far from it.
"Sure Rox, what's up?"
Try along the lines of ex-fiancée. It's been two years since we broke up and called off the engagement, but there's just something about those beautiful blue eyes and blonde tousled hair that keeps me coming back. In fact, our breakup wasn't one of those breakups that we hated each other and pretended like the other didn't exist. In all actuality, we stayed good friends and even became best friends.
Roxas and I were high school sweethearts. We fell in love and spent days together under the sun. He proposed to me the night of our senior prom. I remember it clearly just like it was yesterday. We were slow dancing to a song. Our song. Then after the song ended, he got down on one knee and asked me those magical four words. I'll never forget that night.
But obviously, nothing lasts forever. Unfortunately, I found that out the hard way. Just one day, out of nowhere, he tells me our arguments and fights were going over the top, and just like that, it was all over.
"Promise me you won't get mad or upset at me. I just want some answers." He was basically pleading with his eyes. His big cerulean orbs that I can just drown in forever. My heart started beating a hundred times per minute. What could he possibly tell me that I would get mad or upset about? Here lately, we've been hanging out a lot; but we've had nothing but good times together. I wonder why the random question. Roxas, just don't do this to me like you did last time…
"I promise, but what is it?" I was practically yelling at him inwardly. He knows how impatient I get. Nobody knows me better than Roxas. Actually, he knows me better than I know myself. I'm dying to know – my whole body was trembling.
"Here lately I've had the feeling that you still like me as more than just a friend." My heart dropped. "And Nam, I don't want you to waste your time thinking we might date again." Roxas bit his bottom lip as he continued, "I'm sorry Nam, but I just don't feel that way towards you; I like to see you as my friend – nothing more."
My heart started to ache. Just when I thought my heart was slowly healing with time, there he goes, breaking it into pieces like he did two years ago. He doesn't even realize how he breaks my heart just by telling me that. I knew nothing was going to happen again between us, but hearing that actually come out of his mouth was realization hitting me in the face.
My eyes started to water, and I tried so hard to blink back the tears that were fighting to fall. I bit my bottom lip hard in hopes that no tears would escape. Don't cry Nam. Don't show weakness. Especially not in front of him.
"Are you serious? You actually think that?" I tried to say in the most believable way I can. "I only see you as a friend, nothing more. Those feelings left a long time ago." I faked a smile in hopes he'll fall for it. Although that was what was coming out of my mouth, my heart pleaded to say 'I love you! I've loved you since day one!' Too bad either way I would come out with the same fate.
Roxas breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. I was just making sure. I've just had that feeling lately that you do, and it just takes a load off my chest that you don't."
You don't even know how bad I was fighting the tears. I suddenly felt weak, and my knees almost gave in. It was like he literally dug through my body and ripped my heart out, piece by piece.
"Of course not, we're still best friends right?"
He nodded. "Nothing will ever get in the way of our friendship."
Friendship. Hearing the word pains me. It pains me that that's all we'll ever be. I've always dreamed of a perfect future with a perfect wedding, perfect family, perfect home, perfect everything. And they all were with him. The fact that that kind of future won't ever happen, breaks my heart.
.
.
.
After that eventful conversation with Roxas earlier today, I'm glad to be home. I don't need any more heartbreaks for the day. I'll be having a date with my couch, the TV, and myself. Hopefully Kairi's not home. I don't want to have to tell her of my depressing day and how I pretty much got rejected by the love of my life without him meaning to.
As soon I walked in the door, I was met by Kairi's screaming. "Naminé! This is an emergency!" She yelled, her eyes were starting to water, and you could tell she was about to cry. Ugh, just what I needed – more waterworks for the day. Her 'emergencies' usually was something to do with what Sora did, and how he was a horrible person for doing so; but they usually make up ten minutes later anyway.
"Kairi, I'm really not in the mood to talk right now. I'm sure you and Sora will make up soon." All I really wanted right now was to lay down and relax.
Kairi shook her head. This time she couldn't hold back the tears that threatened to fall. "It's not about Sora… It's Roxas. Sora just called and told me he got in a car wreck and that he broke his foot, cracked a few ribs, and is losing a lot of blood. Nam… Sora says he might not make it."
My eyes widened. Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, it did. This was impossible. It felt like not even an hour ago I was just with him. This couldn't be happening. I can't lose him now…
My eye sight started to turn blurry when a tear escaped through the corner of my eyelids. All I knew was that I had to go to the hospital. And fast.
.
.
.
A complete mess was an understatement. I was a wreck. Kairi and I met Sora at the hospital, and you could tell he has been crying his heart out. His eyes were red and puffy from the tears. We had to meet up with Roxas's doctor. The nurse at the receptionist said he needed to talk with us, in private. We waited in a room waiting for said doctor to come in, while all we could do was wait and hope for the best.
My heart started beating faster and faster, and my stomach was doing flips. Anxiety overcame the room.
Suddenly, a door creaked open, interrupting my thoughts. In came an old man with amber eyes and a white beard in a white doctor suit. "Are you friends of Roxas's?"
I sniffled, but we all nodded. The doctor looked down and suddenly his shoes were more interesting. "My name is Dr. Ansem. They call me Ansem the Wise. Your friend Roxas… he already lost, and is still losing, a lot of blood. He was hit pretty hard from the impact. I… I'm afraid we've done everything we can, and he won't be here with us tonight."
"NO!" I just yelled. Sora and Kairi tried holding me back but I didn't care. "There HAS to be a way! He can't die! He just can't… please!" I will do anything. I love him so much I would do anything for him. A life without Roxas… I couldn't even imagine how that would be. All of a sudden, memories flashed in my mind – good and bad – from the day we first met, to our senior prom, to the day he broke up with me, and to this morning when we had that dreaded conversation. Tears fell from my eyes like a waterfall.
"Actually… there is another way to save him; but it's a one in a million chance since he has an extremely rare blood type, AB negative. And if we can just find someone with the same blood type, we can keep him alive." I almost screamed for joy. There's still that one chance that he might be saved, and that's good enough news for me. My tears of sadness suddenly turned into tears of happiness.
"But," Dr. Ansem started. "They would be losing the same amount of blood Roxas did. In other words… we would lose someone tonight. And with Roxas's rare blood type, that's impossible."
I gulped down the lump in my throat. "Could… could you see if I have the same blood type?"
"NAMINÉ, NO!" Kairi breathed. "I can't lose you like that!"
I shook my head and said softly. "I can't lose Roxas. Not like that."
Sora's mouth fell agape. I'm probably going crazy. I can't believe I'm doing this. Never in a million years would I think I would actually go this far for Roxas. I can't afford to lose Roxas. I exhaled deeply. Even if I didn't have the same blood type, it was still worth a shot. Kairi was going hysterical as she cried on Sora's shoulder. Sora stared in awe as he couldn't believe what I was really doing.
Dr. Ansem pricked a needle on my finger and collected a small amount of blood in a vial. "This will only take a few minutes," he informed.
"Naminé, you can't do this!" Kairi pleaded. "Please rethink this before you go through with it. Once you do this, you can't go back."
"I think I've made up my mind. I love Roxas, Kairi. You, of all people, know that. I'd do anything to keep him alive, even if it risks my own life."
"I can't believe it, it's a perfect match!" Dr. Ansem exclaimed, dumbfounded. Kairi started to whimper on Sora's chest.
"Then I'll do it." I smiled at Dr. Ansem.
"We have to go to the operating room, now. Roxas is losing more and more blood by the second."
Before I could walk out the door, Kairi ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug. "I-I l-lo-ove y-you s-so mu-much Nam." Kairi tried to say in between sobs.
"I'll make sure Roxas knows you saved his life," Sora said as he gave me a hug as well. I tear rolled down my cheek as I smiled at the couple. I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm literally minutes away from taking my last breath, and it's all for Roxas. My heartaches will soon heal, and I can watch my love from above. Either way, I'll see him live happily ever after and watch him start a family. It's crazy to say that I'm actually going this far, but it's all or nothing.
"We are losing time. We should hurry." Dr. Ansem demanded.
Before I left the room, I took out a small piece of paper and scribbled something down on it, giving it to Sora and Kairi. "You guys make sure Roxas gets this when he wakes up." Kairi quickly read the note, and if possible, sobbed even harder she can barely breathe. Sora comforted her as I left the room.
This is it. Almost there.
Roxas… we will meet again. I may not know it's you, and you may not know it's me. But we'll meet again. I promise.
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My eyes fluttered open to a small white room. A steady beep could be heard simultaneous to a long screeching beeeeeeep.
Why am I here? I don't even remember what happened since… it feels like it's been so long that I don't even remember. It was like I was out like a zombie. I immediately sat upright. I felt a searing pain on my left side, and found out I was in a hospital room. The steady beeping I quickly figured out was my steady heartbeat. It was then that I noticed someone else was in the room with me – a familiar blonde haired girl I have grown to love laying on the hospital bed to my right. Then I realized…
That long, screeching, lifeless heartbeat belonged to the corpse of my best friend.
"Naminé!" I screamed my lungs out, jolting by her side. My right food had a cast on it and it hurt extremely bad as soon as I went on the ground. But I didn't care. I don't know what happened or how we got here, but Naminé… all I really cared about was Naminé.
I reached to hold her hand. It was cold and lifeless. There was no warmth from it like she usually did. No blood running through her veins. No pink to her once-blushing rosy cheeks. She was like a puppet. But she was dead. And there was nothing I can do to change that.
Then that last conversation we had came to mind. I recalled how happy she was that I only saw her as a friend. Truth be told… I wished we were more than that. I was… scared. I was scared that I was falling for her again. I didn't want to break her heart like I did last time. But I was two years too late. I never should have broken up with her that night. I deserved my heart broken for breaking hers. It serves me right for breaking her heart like that.
"God I'm such an idiot!" Tears started rolling down my face. Why her? It should be me on that deathbed instead of her. Why take her life…
"You're not an idiot Roxas!" came the beaming faces of Sora and Kairi. They quickly ran up to me and gave me a big hug. At the sight of Naminé's lifeless body, Kairi's beaming face turned the complete opposite. She sobbed by Naminé's bedside.
"I feel like I've been a zombie these past few days," I turned to Sora. "But… what happened? I… I have to know what happened. And what happened with…" I gulped down the lump going down my throat. "I want to know what happened with Naminé."
Sora informed me about everything that had happened these past few days. How I had gotten in a wreck, how I was close to death, how my blood type was the rarest it could be, how Naminé incidentally had the same blood type, and how she gave up her life to save mine.
A tear managed to escape as I shook my head. No… there's no way this is really happening. We're still really young. We still have a whole life ahead of us. She was perfectly healthy. Why would she save my life like that? Nam, if you were still alive, this would be when I would tell you how your plans don't work.
But all I could ask myself was why?
As if reading my thoughts, Kairi got up and handed me a small piece of paper that was smeared and dried up by tears. "From Naminé," Kairi smiled sadly.
People do crazy things, when they're in love.
And I just fell to the ground holding Naminé's cold lifeless hands in my grasp.
All of a sudden I felt numb, like nothing mattered anymore. Tears were really falling from my eyelids and onto her small fragile hands. I stroked the top of her hands tenderly. I'm such an idiot. Why didn't I realize it sooner? I regret ever breaking your heart the first time. I regret breaking your heart again this morning. You don't deserve this, Nam. Any of this. If anything, I shouldn't even be here right now. I never lost feelings for you. My feelings never changed since the first day I met you. I… I still love you Nam. Always have, and always will, and I will continue to love you until the day I die.
xglitter-gloss: this idea just came to mind, and I had to write it! by the way, this is based on a true story, except for the hospital part - that part I made up :3 I'm almost done with Chapter 8 for FBOFW, so expect to see that pretty soon!
Also, Namine's note came to mind when I was watching Hercules while writing this...
This is my first sad writing I've done. :3 Let me know what you think... Reviews are much appreciated!