In Which I am Given a Quest

Everybody knows that there are domineering parents in the world. Most of them say things like, "Practice your instrument if you want to get ahead" or "Get straight A's if you want to be successful." Their children usually resent or hate them, but I would do anything to have those kinds of parents. Instead, my father was more like, "Hey, son! Go wake up a hundred year old princess if you ever want to be great like your brother."

In theory, it doesn't sound so hard; all I had to do was travel to a ruined kingdom, find and kiss the princess, everyone in the castle would wake up, and then we would fall in love and live happily ever after. Sounds easy enough (and if anything, really girly), but what actually happened was a lot more painfully complicated.

It all started when my parents, who just happen to be the king and queen of Tealm, decided to throw a huge ball for my brother, Derek. The whole purpose of it was to find him a "proper wife." But instead of just inviting royal princesses, my idiot brother decided he wanted every maiden of the kingdom to come as well. Naturally, my parents agreed.

What ended up happening was that my brother ignored everyone in the room, which resulted in several offended princesses, and danced with just one girl all night. She ended up running away from him at midnight without giving him her name and accidently leaving a glass shoe. Derek, instead of taking the not-so-subtle hint, decided that he was going to find the mysterious girl by having every girl in the kingdom try on the shoe. As if all girls had different shoe sizes, but regardless, my parents were so proud that he had "taken the initiative to find true love."

Which leads me back to how my whole adventure started. My parents called me into their throne room to "have a chat" with me. I hate it when they say that. It makes me feel like I'm in trouble.

"Colin, your mother and I have been thinking," he started.

"And we think it's time that you find a wife of your own," my mother finished for him.

I raised my eyebrows as my father cleared his throat.

"Yes, and we know just the princess," he told me.

Now my parents had been bothering me and my brother about getting married for years now (okay, maybe only one year when I turned eighteen, but it seems longer when you are nagged about it), and I knew that the nagging would get worse after the ball, but to be told that they already had a princess for me was crossing the line. Especially since Derek got to choose his own, even if he was too stupid to find her.

"Wait, what? You betrothed me to someone? Since when?" I practically yelled.

"Hush," said my mother, interrupting my questions, "We haven't betrothed you."

"You haven't?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Then, what-," I started, but my father interrupted me.

"Since your brother knows who he is to marry and is now proving himself to be a worthy king by looking for the girl, we think it would be fair to give you a quest in order to prove yourself as well."

"Why should I have to prove myself?" I asked, "I'm not going to be king."

"It's not to prove yourself as a worthy king, but a worthy man. We want both of our sons to be remembered as wise and great men. If you do this, you will definitely be remembered." my mother said.

I blinked, thoroughly confused. It figures my parents would have twisted logic for everything, including my love life.

"What quest?" I asked warily.

"Well, you remember the story about the princess who was said that if she when she reached the age of eighteen, she would prick her finger on a spinning wheel spindle, and she and her kingdom would fall asleep until she had true love's kiss?" my mother asked me.

I only nodded at the huge sentence she had just spoken.

"The story is true," she said, but continued before I could interrupt again, "Your father and I have agreed that you should wake the princess."

"You can't tell me that you guys actually believe that story," I said incredulously.

"Of course we do," my father said, "You know the Wild Lands?"

Everybody knew the Wild Lands. It was rumored that evil lived in those woods along with giants, ogres, werewolves and other dangerous creatures. Parents threatened their children that if they did not behave, they would be sent to the Wild Lands and used as bait for trolls. There were no good stories about the Wild Lands.

"Well, we believe that was once the kingdom of Hulion, which fell over one hundred years ago. Our most trusted historians believe this is where the story originates from," continued my father.

There was silence for a moment before I said, "So let me get this straight. You want me to go into the Wild Lands, which may or may not be the ancient kingdom of Hulion, most likely battle ogres and werewolves find a magical sleeping one hundred year old princess, kiss her awake to break the spell and marry her just to prove my manhood?"

They both nodded.

"You both realize that this is a harder task than Derek's right?" I asked them. They fidgeted in their thrones and didn't answer.

"Fine", I sighed and they both smiled. I knew it was pointless to try to argue, they would get their way somehow.

"I know you won't disappoint us, son!" my father exclaimed happily.

"You'll do brilliantly, I just know it," my mother told me.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll make you proud. Can I go now?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. You need to start packing for tomorrow," my mother said.

I started. "What?"

"You need to start packing for your journey. You must start as soon as possible," my father told me.

Before I could object, the throne room doors opened and Derek strode in.

"No luck today?" my mother asked. He shook his head disappointedly.

I figured that I should leave before they started pitying him.

"Well, if you excuse me, I must pack for a most necessary quest to retrieve my manhood," I said sarcastically as I left. I really hoped this wasn't a waste of time, which it probably was.

Great.

I came up with this story while doing a literature study on fairy tales last year. It's taken some development, but the characters and plot is all mine. Well, except for the fact that its based on the fairy tale Sleeping Beauty. But other than that, it's mine. And I don't share well.