Lawsuit

"Red! Red! Red! Ya gotta open up, please!" sobbed Harley Quinn, knocking frantically on Poison Ivy's front door, tears streaming down her face. "Please, Red, Mr. J kicked me out again! And it's cold, and raining, and I ain't got anywhere else to go and…"

"Just a second, Harley!" shouted Ivy's voice, loudly. A few minutes later, she appeared at the door, dressed in a bathrobe and looking very annoyed. "You have terrible timing, you know that?" she growled.

"Aw, don't make me feel worse, Red!" cried Harley, throwing herself into her arms and sobbing. "Mr. J's already done enough of that! He called me useless, and pathetic, and stupid, and then he kicked me out, Red! Literally! He…he gave me the boot! Literally! And now my rear is sore, and my face is sore from where I landed on it, and my heart is broken, and…"

She broke off, sobbing again. Ivy sighed, patting her gently on the back. "Ok, baby, come in and get warm," she murmured. "Uh, Steven?" she called down the hall. "Are you…ah…decent?"

"Yeah, it's fine, Ivy!" called a voice.

Harley followed Ivy into the living room, where a blazing fire was burning in the fireplace, and a very attractive man sat on the rug, also in a bathrobe. "Harley, this is Steven Grant," said Ivy, gesturing to the man. "Steven, Harley Quinn."

"Pleased to…meetcha," sobbed Harley, wiping her nose with the back of her hand and then holding it out to him.

"Uh…nice to meet you too, Harley," said Steven, waving at her instead.

"Steven and I were just in the middle of…a date," said Ivy.

"Date?" repeated Harley. "What kinda date do you wear bathrobes for?"

"The…ah…third date," said Ivy, slowly. "Look, never mind, Harley. Can I get you something warm to drink?"

Harley nodded. "Hot cocoa, please," she whispered. "It's my favorite. And it's also…Mr. J's favorite!" she sobbed, bursting into tears again. Ivy sighed.

"Steven, drink?" she asked.

"No, thanks, Ivy," he said.

"I'll be back in a second. Harley, try to stop crying," said Ivy, leaving the room.

"O…K…Red!" sobbed Harley.

"Are you…all right, Harley?" asked Steven, slowly, as he took a seat next to her on the couch.

"Nah uh," said Harley, wiping her eyes. "My boyfriend kicked me out."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Steven, sincerely. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't think so," whispered Harley. "There's nothing I can do except wait for him to take me back. He's just gotta take me back! He's gotta!"

She sobbed again. "I just love him so much!" she cried. "And I tried to tell him that, but he just hit me and told me to shut my useless mouth!"

"He hit you?" repeated Steven, shocked.

"Yeah. Think I'll have a black eye in the morning," Harley murmured, glancing in the mirror over the mantle. "But the makeup should be able to cover it. It usually does the trick pretty good."

"This happens often?" asked Steven.

"Kinda. Mr. J's got a real temper on him," murmured Harley, gazing at the floor.

"Well, Harley, maybe if he treats you like that, you shouldn't want him to take you back," said Steven. "Maybe you're better off without him."

"No, you don't understand, I need him, Steven!" sobbed Harley. "I love him! And I'm used to it really – he treats me like that all the time."

Steven was silent. Ivy re-entered the room with a mug of hot cocoa which she handed to Harley. "At least you're not bleeding this time," she murmured, examining her face carefully. "Not like when J busted your nose a couple months ago."

"I deserved that one, Red," sniffed Harley. "I shouldn't have been clumsy and tripped over that alarm. It was my fault his scheme was ruined, and it was right of him to punish me for it."

"Harley, it sounds to me like this man just abuses you," said Steven. "Mentally and physically."

"It's…it's just 'cause he loves me, Steven," whispered Harley. "That's how my special puddin' shows me he cares."

Steven cleared his throat. "Harley, have you ever considered making this man pay for the damage he's done to you?"

"Pay?" repeated Harley. "Like give me money? I don't want money from him, Steven – he pays me enough in love and affection…"

"It's not just about money, Harley, it's about revealing this man for the scum that he is in a court of law," said Steven. "It's about publicly humiliating him, and showing the whole world that he's a cruel, abusive monster. It's about teaching him a lesson, so he will alter his behavior in the future."

"I dunno, Steven, Mr. J don't really change his behavior ever…" began Harley.

"I think it's a great idea, Steven!" exclaimed Ivy. "Why don't you take J to court, Harley? You can sue him for psychological damage, emotional trauma, and assault! That will take his massive ego down a peg if anything will!"

"I…I really don't think it's a good idea, Red…" began Harley.

"Well, think it over," said Steven. "I'm an attorney, and I'd certainly be interested in prosecuting your case against this jerk."

Harley stared at him. "You…you wouldn't be scared to prosecute the Joker?" she stammered.

"The Joker?" he repeated.

"That's…uh…my boyfriend," said Harley, slowly.

Steven stared at her, and then smiled. "No, Harley, I'm not at all scared to prosecute the Joker. In fact, prosecuting a celebrity like him can only add to my professional reputation, especially if I win. And once I get a couple pictures of your black eye, I'm pretty sure I can win."

He stood up. "Here's my card – think it over and call me tomorrow," he said. "I'll just go get dressed and be on my way."

"You have to do this, Harley!" exclaimed Ivy the moment they were alone. "J will be utterly furious to be exposed as an abuser in court! We'll drag your private life into the light, and his name into the mud!"

"Yeah…that's kinda what I'm afraid of, Red," said Harley. "I…I don't wanna hurt him or nothing, and his reputation needs all the help it can get. And he'll probably be in a better mood tomorrow and we can just let this whole thing blow over…"

"No," interrupted Ivy. "No, not this time, Harley! This time we sue the bastard!"

"But Red…"

"No buts! I'm telling Steven he's hired!" she said, leaving the room.

Harley sat alone in front of the fire, looking at Steven's business card. "I got a really bad feeling about this," she murmured.