Finding out that Hank was actually a shapeshifting Martian called J'onn had been surprising. She was a little hurt that he and Alex had decided to keep it from her for so long but she understood. Kind of. With everything going on with Cat she would have been fighting from lower ground trying to insist on her secret keeping abilities.
So she'd laughed along with them when they had in tandem declared that no she could not keep a secret in the face of her token protest. The conversation still ended up on Cat discovering her secret, but in a way that was focused on fixing the situation instead of throwing it in her face, and not before Kara had quizzed Hank, J'onn, on his shapeshifting abilities.
It was when Kara had asked if he could make himself look like a woman that a lightbulb seemed to go off in Alex's head. Apparently to two of them had already had an extended discussion about J'onn's abilities because Alex jumped straight to asking if he could fly while imitating a certain form at the same time. In less than five minutes they had a plan to make Cat believe she was mistaken about Kara's identity.
Kara felt a little bad about it. Cat was a smart woman, she was the only person who had ever managed to find out Kara was Supergirl without Kara saying anything, and it was because she had finally started looking at Kara. Fooling her like this was an insult to Cat's skills as a journalist. Worse it was a breach of trust in the tentative relationship they had been building. Not quite friends perhaps, but more than just a boss and her assistant.
But what else was she supposed to do? The woman was The Queen of All Media Kara could hardly expect her to turn down a scoop like Supergirl's secret identity. Could she? Of course not. Just because they had been getting closer these past few months didn't mean Kara actually meant enough to stomp down on a story.
So she'd smiled along with the plan and flown back to her apartment to get some clothing more befitting an assistant at Catco Worldwide Media. She knew she'd continue to feel bad about deceiving Cat, probably for a long while, but being cleared meant she'd be able to go back to her day job. Telling Cat that she quit had been one of the hardest moments in her life since coming to Earth. It was rough sometimes and Cat couldn't really be described as easy to work for but it kept her grounded. She had friends there who knew who she was and understood if her work suffered because it. People who were willing to lend a hand, whether she needed help shifting a meeting with finances to 3pm, or getting away from the office to stop a building from falling down. Getting a new job would mean giving that up and never being able to have it again. Not unless she wanted Hank to come down on her like a tonne of kryptonite bricks anyway.
Staying at Catco would also mean staying with Cat. Ok so constantly being called by the wrong name every day could get a little trying, but the times when Cat would stop and give her advice, or even rarer the times when she would give Kara praise? They always felt like exactly what Kara needed when she needed it. The woman wasn't just her boss, she was her inspiration.
She was just about to take off for Catco, clothing acquired, when J'onn floated through her window, still looking like Hank save for the unsettling red glow of his eyes.
That was when the plan stopped being something to smile about.
J'onn was clear. He'd only help if Kara stopped working at Catco.
It wasn't as if she could actually say no. As long as Cat though she was Supergirl it was just a matter of time before her life as Kara Danvers got destroyed. And as J'onn pointed out, if Cat revealed Kara then the Media Queen wouldn't get to see the first copy hit shelves before she was abducted, or worse, by some faceless government acronym or another. Having J'onn come in as Supergirl while Kara was there as herself was the only effective option they had come up with that didn't endanger Cat or Kara.
She wanted to scream at him, to shout at him until he understood what he was asking her to give up. She didn't. Hank Henshaw was not a man compromise when he thought he was in the right. J'onn J'onzz was no different, and really why would he be. He had decided the entire situation with Catco was too much of a risk. That risk was going to be removed one way or another. At least this plan meant Cat would be left alone.
Standing in the bullpen looking through the glass walls into Cat's office Kara once again went over the plan in her mind. Hoping against hope that she'd be able to find a fatal flaw that meant calling it off, or that closer inspection would reveal another option that meant she could stay. As J'onn, looking for all the world like Supergirl, floated in from the balcony, she resigned herself to the fact that no such thing would happen.
Steeling her nerves and hitching a placid smile onto her face she walked forward to play her part.
J'onn actually managed an eerily convincing impression of her as Supergirl, it was rather surreal to be complemented by her doppelganger on her glasses.
Cat was shocked. Under other circumstances Kara may have delighted in the other womans very temporary loss of words. She appeared to recover quickly enough however, even if she came across slightly flustered as she dismissed Supergirl.
Hearing Cat offer her job back, if she wanted it, had been a punch in the gut. She had managed a wan smile in reply before turning to leave, not trusting herself to speak.
If the job offer had been a punch in the gut then Cat calling after her to tell her she looked nothing like Supergirl had been getting hit by a truck. How could she say that? Apparently taking off her glasses had been all the final proof Cat had needed to say she was Supergirl, but when standing next to an exact copy of herself she was nothing like her? Kara would have laughed if it hadn't felt like the act would make her sick.
She was supposed to meet J'onn up on the roof to discuss what the plan would be from here on out but instead she took the elevator to the ground floor.
The fake smile she'd been wearing in the office had fallen away leaving her face feeling as though she'd been wearing a kryptonite face cream. Hell she might have rubbed her whole body down in a kryptonite based moisturiser with how heavy it had felt as she'd dragged it through the Catco lobby that final time. Unwilling to fly for risk of running into J'onn in the air and feeling too worn to walk back to her apartment she hailed a cab, thanking Rao that her driver wasn't the chatty kind.
That night she barely made it to the couch before she collapsed her entire body being wracked by silent sobs. She didn't allow herself to cry properly. To have done so would be weakness. Life at Catco had been good but she had done the right thing. So she cried in silence into the small hours of the morning, curled up on the couch, until she fell asleep fully clothed.
When her phone alarm had gone off a few hours later, demanding that she be awake for work, she had risen halfway off the couch before reality had struck. She didn't have a job anymore. At least not the kind that required her to go get a latte and go to an office. She had stared at the still ringing device for a few moments as if it had caused her personal offence before lasering it into silence and flopping gracelessly back down onto the couch. If someone needed Supergirl she still had the earpiece, anyone who wanted Kara Danvers would just have to go without.
J'onn as Hank had been the one to call in her missions for the week after their little double act. Apparently Alex had been called away for some important task for the duration. Kara knew it was J'onn's way to cover his own ass. Though the older Danvers sister would probably agree with him in the end Alex would at least have given the Martian an ass kicking for being so insensitive to her little sister's feelings on the matter.
Kara faithfully fulfilled her role as Supergirl that week. It was J'onn she was pissed off at not the innocent citizens of National City afterall. All of this was so she could continue to help them. However she avoided going back to the DEO. With Alex away she didn't think she could handle dealing with Hank face to face without snapping and demanding her allow her to resume her work at Catco.
When she wasn't flying around saving people she would lay on her couch staring at the ceiling waiting for a call. She didn't move to her bedroom even after night fell, instead she wept just as silently as she had that first night until she lapsed into unconsciousness. Takeout boxes littered the floor around her. She wasn't even sure the food they had once contained had touched her lips as it had made its way to her stomach, eating was something mechanical. Something her body claimed to require in order to keep its strength up. She wasn't even sure if that was strictly true but she went along with it just in case. She had to be strong in case any trouble came up. At the foot of the couch was a small laundry pile. A pair of sweatpants and a couple of ratty tee-shirts that she would pull on before answering the door to pay for her takeout. She hadn't lost her place in human life in order to keep her secret just for it to be ruined by some spotty teen delivering her pot-stickers. Winn, James, even Lucy come to the door as days go by trying to check on her. They'd hang around for a good long while but typically they'd give up if she slammed down the window to make it seem as if she'd just left through it.
Alex arrived shortly after noon on Monday. Letting herself without announcing herself, clearly expecting Kara to be out. Kara had said nothing and so Alex had nearly jumped out of her skin when she'd passed the couch on the way to the guest bedroom and seen Kara laying there.
Some excuse about being too tired to drive all the way back to her own place had been halfway out of her mouth when she stopped fully taking in the sight of her little sister.
Kara didn't imagine she looked particularly impressive slumped on the couch in the clothes she used for answering delivery persons, surrounded by the cardboard and plastic remains of her meals, with hair that hadn't been washed in two maybe three days. Alex had stood frozen for a moment several emotions flickering across her face as she tried to decide how best to handle this unusual state of affairs. Tears had begun to burn in Kara's eyes as realised she was going to have to explain this to her big sister. Seeing the tears was enough to spurn Alex into action, she had knelt down beside Kara one hand resting on Kara's as the other smoothed a stray hair away from her face.
A gentle what happened? had been enough to fully open the floodgates. Kara cried. Full gasping, wailing, sobs as she choked out how J'onn had added a condition to the plan. How she had spent the week cut off from all the things that kept her feeling human. Several times she had to stop mid sentence because the tears were just too overwhelming. Another half dozen she had to stop because she was clinging to Alex so tightly the other womans bones were starting to grind together.
By the time she had finished it was dark outside and she wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep. Alex however had other plans. She pulled Kara off the couch and into the small bathroom. In a way she had never done when they were young, because by the time they were living together they were both just that little bit too old and awkward to be comfortable bathing together, she helped Kara through the process of undressing, bathing, and redressing. Kara had never felt quite so much like a baby sister as she did when her big sister brought the shower head down, and ran her fingers through her hair to wash out the conditioner Kara rarely bothered with.
Wearing an extremely comfortable set of flannel pyjamas that were usually reserved for winter use, Kara slept in her bed for the first time in a week. Alex had tucked her in with a kiss to her forehead before slipping out of the room with a promise that she'd return once she'd tidied up a bit. The sounds of a bin bag being shook out and empty takeout boxes being gathered had filtered through briefly before sleep had finally taken ahold of Kara and she finally got some proper rest.
Knocking on door is what wakes her on Tuesday morning. Still blinded by sleep Kara reaches for Alex hoping to send her instead. Instead her hand hits cold empty sheets. Dragging her head up and cracking open one eye she reconfirms that the space is in fact Alex-less. In place of her sister is a post-it note. Opening both eyes just enough to focus on the words she discovers that Alex has been called into work. A slight smile, the first since she entered the elevator to leave Catco, flits across Kara's face as she sees the postscript promising Alex is gonna kick Henshaw's ass for her.
For a brief moment she forgets the knocking at the door ready to sink back into sleep when a voice cuts through the thin walls of her apartment.
"Kiera answer the door, I don't have all day." Kara sits up so fast her head spins a little. There's no way… "Don't you dare pretend you aren't home Keira. I know you haven't found a new job yet." How could she know?! The thought flashes across Kara's mind but is quickly dismissed. It's Cat Grant, the woman basically knows everything.
Before she's fully comprehended what she's doing she's standing before the front door frozen.
Cat has never been to her apartment before. She's had no reason to. She has no reason to. Kara is no longer her employee, she's just another speck in the faceless masses Cat spends her days herding with strategic media content.
"Don't just stand there, open the door. I assume you haven't forgotten how to do that since you walked out of my office and never came back." It takes a short heart stopping second for Kara to remember that she is the one with x-ray vision, not her former boss, and that she probably made a lot of noise rushing to the door from her bedroom.
Drawing in a shaky breath Kara unlocks the door and opens it halfway. Or at least she means to. The moment the door begins to swing inward Cat is pushing her way inside as if she owns the place, even as she stops a few steps past Kara and takes in the space. Kara sends thanks to Rao, Yuda, and whoever else might be listening that Alex cleared away the takeout boxes and dirty laundry before she settled down for the night.
"Well finally, honestly Korra even if you were unemployed you should be getting up at a professional start time to make the most of your day job hunting." Kara can't summon up an answer, she just leans against the door watching as Cat turns to face her. For the second time in less than a minute Kara has to remind herself that Cat does not have x-ray vision. Even so, the way Cat stares at her gives Kara an idea of what people must feel like when she uses it on them.
"You look like crap." The dry statement is enough to finally kick Kara's brain into gear.
"I've had a busy week Miss Grant… Job hunting." Not strictly a lie. Hunting down escaped alien criminals for capture is her job and it involves hunting. Cat narrows her eyes.
"Keira we both know you're skilled enough to have the pick of any job in National City, being my assistant for a month would be enough to ensure that, never mind years under my employ" Cat declares putting her hands on her hips. "Whatever you've been doing it hasn't been job hunting."
"Miss Grant, I assure you-" She attempts to speak mustering a polite smile but is quickly cut off.
"Just like you assured me you weren't Supergirl? Did you know that in the week since you left my office Supergirl sightings have almost doubled?" Like the cold of a drop of ice water slowly spreading, fear begins to unfurl in Kara's stomach.
"Miss Grant, I thought we settled this, you saw Supergirl and I in the same place, at the same time, you even said I don't really look like her. I'm not Supergirl." She tries to up the voltage of her smile a little.
Cat levels her with a thoroughly unimpressed stare.
"I know what I said Kara, I was unsettled, a feeling I'm extremely unused to, I lied" Cat says, her gaze still stony. Hearing her name pass Cat's lips sends a paralysing bolt of warmth through her, giving Cat a chance to continue. "I don't know how you pulled it off but I was right the first time. You are Supergirl, even Carter agrees."
Fear escalates into full blown panic. Carter believes she's Supergirl? Carter knows? It was bad enough when she just had to worry for Cat's well being. It would be hard on Carter if anything happened to his mother but he still had a father out there. But Carter knowing? What the hell would they do with him if this all came out?
Panic is what fuels her motions. She stares Cat straight in the eye, smile disappearing from her face as she approaches. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registers the door slamming shut behind her. She doesn't realise that she's back Cat up against the back of the couch until Cat breaks eye contact to chance a glance at what has blocked her path.
"Stop saying that, you have no idea. Don't say that, especially about Carter. You can't go around saying that." Her voice comes out lower, rasping through vocal cords that are half frozen with fear.
"Why?" Cat's tone is just as challenging as ever. She might have given ground physically but mentally she's still refusing to back down. "Because it's true?"
Kara lets out a growl of frustration one hand swinging up to drag through her hair. Cat doesn't even flinch at the suddenly moving limb despite that fact that being right means a blow from Kara would probably send her through the wall.
"And what if it is Cat?! What happens then?!"
Cat doesn't respond right away. She just raises an eyebrow. The mute response is enough to bring two things to the forefront of Kara's mind. The first is that she practically screamed the words in the other womans face. The second is that she had called her Cat. In all the time that she has worked for Cat not once has she ever dared to address her so familiarly. The realisation is enough to make her take a couple of steps back.
"Then we're going to have, to have a conversation about what excuses are acceptable to give in different situations you may find yourself in at work when you need to go off and stop a robbery, or save kitten from a tree, whatever the public happens to need from Supergirl at the time" Cat says, leaning against the back of the couch as if she had always meant to back up and lean against it anyway. "We may also have to see about getting me a second assistant to answer the phones while you're off saving the day or to join me when I have to go out of town for business. James has done ok covering your phone's for you in the past, but that little sweater gremlin is terrible."
Kara opens and closes her mouth twice before she manages to pull a cogent thought together. Whatever she had been expecting from Cat, this was not it.
"But I don't even work at Catco anymore, I quit, remember?" Not the thought that should have been exiting her mouth. Denial. Denial of being Supergirl was what should have been exiting her mouth. Cat rolls her eyes.
"Let's not pretend like you don't need Catco as much as Catco needs you. In the week since you haven't been at work Supergirl's normal pep and charm has decreased significantly. You're making mistakes that you haven't made since your first month as a hero."
"Catco needs me?" Once again it's really not the thought that should be getting vocalised. Denial is still the big one. Right now however she isn't sure if she wants to deny being Supergirl, deny ever using pep are a descriptor for Supergirl, or deny that she has in fact been lacking pep.
Cat lets out a long suffering smile and pushes away from the couch getting right up in Kara's face.
"Catco itself doesn't need you. I need you." Any thoughts of denial are evaporated in that moment. All Kara can do is try not to swallow audibly as Cat forces her to make eye contact before briefly dropping her gaze to Kara's lips. "I had to call that Wick character in four times yesterday trying to find my glasses before he told me they were on my head. And Carter was heartbroken when he visited the office and you weren't at your desk."
"But what about the story? Supergirl's secret identity would be the scoop of the century."
Her face still scant inches from Kara's Cat scowls. This time Kara gulps.
"I won't pretend I didn't consider it" Cat says, her voice dangerously low. "But I decided it was much better long term to have a Superhero in my pocket. And who knows what spookified government task force might try coming after me, or god help them Carter, if they thought I was going to leak the identity of one of their secret assets. Besides, where else am I going to find an assistant who can actually keep my latte hot and always hear me when I call for her?"
Kara spends a few moments, her eyes flickering all over Cat's face trying to find a tell that she's lying. Not that she's been particularly great at spotting it before. At least not when she's the one being lied to. Seeing Cat lie to someone else she generally call it, but it's much harder to see when you're being blinded by the focus of the other womans gaze.
"You… You're really not going to tell?"
"That is what I just said isn't it?"
"And Carter? He won't say anything?"
"Of course not!" Cat's reply to this is even more indignant than her previous one. "He loves Supergirl, and he's quite fond of you too, he knows how dangerous it could be for you to have your identity revealed, for you and the people you care about."
It's the first time Cat has brought up the fact that it would be dangerous for Kara if her identity was revealed, not just an inconvenience for herself.
"I could be safe? You could be safe? Carter could be safe?" She had meant to stop on the first question. Really she had but the second and third had escaped her in a choked whisper. The catch in her voice, or perhaps it's the questions, makes Cat's eyes widen.
"You were worried that I wouldn't be safe? That Carter wouldn't be safe?"
"Of course I was!"
"Kara if I had decided to leak your identity it could have ruined your life, why on Earth were you worrying about Carter and me?"
"Because I care for you?" She'd meant it as a statement but it came out a little more like a question, the way a lot of revelations do the first time they're spoken aloud. "People coming after me I could handle, but I wouldn't be able to handle them coming after you or Carter to get to me. Because I care for you." The second time she says it, it sounds stronger, even if tears are still slowly starting to overwhelm her.
The emotional toll of her declaration and the entire conversation leading up to it begins to take a physical toll. She falls to her knees, hugging her arms around her middle. Cat is down by her side instantly, clearly she hadn't expected this reaction, but years of mothering spurs her onward.
"Kara?"
Kara looks up at her shyly from beneath her lashes.
"I could come back to work? I could have my place back?"
Tears are dripping down her face now, her nose is probably running, her face is doubtless red and blotchy but Cat smiles at her gently, resting a hand on her shoulder. The other hand comes up and wipes away some of the tears and cupping her cheek. She turns Kara's face just slightly more upward and meets her eyes with a softness that Kara has only ever seen reserved for Carter. She maintains eye contact for a few seconds before purposefully dragging her eyes down to Kara's lips, Kara can't keep from mimicking the action, her tongue darting out to wet her lips nervously. When her eyes flutter back to Cat's the warmth she finds in them is near overwhelming. Finally after what seems like an eternity Cat leans in and presses a sweet kiss to Kara's lips that is over all too soon for Kara's liking.
"I believe I've already told you, you will always have a job with me if you want one." A watery chuckle escapes Kara but she doesn't say anything in return. She opts to wraps her arms around Cat and bury her face in the crook of Cat's shoulder instead. Cat slips her arms around Kara in return, one hand absently stroking through Kara's hair.
Kara isn't sure how long they end up staying on the floor like that before Cat's phone begins to ring. It's Carter's ringtone and Cat answers it looking only semi-apologetic. Kara smiles in response and for the first time in a week it is as easy and as vibrant as one would expect from Kara Danvers.
She stays seated listening to Cat assure Carter that she has gotten in touch with Kara, her smile only broadens when Cat further assures that Kara will be at her desk when Carter comes to visit the office after school that afternoon. She pulls herself to her feet as Cat ends the call.
"Well then Miss Grant, if you'll excuse me I had best get dressed for work." Cat smirks and reaches out a hand that Kara takes without hesitation.
"I think Cat is much more appropriate outside of work, Kara." The way she says Kara's name so purposely sends another charge of warmth through Kara's body, making her putty in Cat's hands when Cat tugs her in closer. "Though you'd best be careful to stick to Miss Grant when we're working." Cat presses a second kiss to Kara's lips and this time it isn't quite as sweet, there is hunger behind it just barely tempered by tenderness.
The moment is ruined when Alex begins speaking into the earpiece making Kara jump back so fast she almost sends herself through the closed wooden door behind her.
"Kara, I know last week was rough, but we need Supergirl, we just got a lead on one of the Fort Rozz escapees."
"Sure thing, I'll head over for a briefing right away."
"Ok, but are you sure you're up for this, last night you were-"
"I know, but you helped, and I've had a pretty great start to my day" Kara cuts off her sisters concerns, flashing Cat a mirth-filled grin. At the confused look she receives in response she quickly gestures to her ear and mouths earpiece. Understanding graces Cat's features. "Just let me change into the suit and I'll be right there." Tapping the comm-link off she steps forwards slipping her arms around Cat's waist and nuzzling her cheek.
"I'm gonna be a little late to work, but I should get there in time for Carter after school."
"Go save the day Supergirl, Carter will understand if you're a little late."
"Just because he would, doesn't mean he should have to" Kara says firmly. "I'll make sure I see him today. I've missed hanging out with him." This time she is the one that kisses Cat. Cat barely gets a chance to respond, never mind escalate, before Kara darts to her room with a burst of superspeed. She changes in a flash and then is standing by her window ready to launch out of it. She pauses and looks over her shoulder.
"You'd best get into the office Miss Grant, who knows how much chaos there will be to sort through with you being this late without your assistant there to clear things up. I'll be sure to get you a latte on my way to the office." She flashes Cat a playful grin and hears an answering burst of laughter before taking off.
Hank is going to be pissed when she goes to Catco after she finishes this job for the DEO, but she trusts Cat. Even if their interactions this morning had stopped at Cat telling her she wasn't going to say anything, she would trust the other womans words. Hank, or J'onn, or whatever he wants to call himself can say what he likes now. No one will be laying a finger on Cat or Carter Grant, and no one will be stopping her from working at Catco.
She is Supergirl, and there isn't anything that could bring her mood down today.