Emu Issues

__________

A/N: Behold, a humor one-shot that I thought up after having to re-start my game _THREE_ freaking times...XD Felix is a medium for my rantings! Oh, yes, P.S- ~Slight~ Picard/Felix. Because I say so. Ignore it if you chose.

Disclaimer: If I owned Golden Sun, this would be part of the game. And Felix could Say 'Yes', 'No', or the special 'Flip 'em off!' option!

_____________________

"...What?" Felix asked during the groups breakfast on a fine morning in Garoh.

"You heard me, Felix. We've decided to go back to Air's Rock." Sheba said, idly twirling her orange juice with a straw.

"In the name of Venus, WHY?!" Felix yelled. Picard winced and covered his ears. He was not a morning person, and Felix's shouts didn't help.

"Well," Picard began, "Jenna and Sheba told me that when you were last there there was a chest on a ledge, and a puddle of water in the gap between. So we're going there so I can frost the puddle and we can get what's in the chest."

"So we're going back there for a CHEST?!" Felix was bordering on psychotic, yanking at his hair. Picard looked at Felix strangely, then at Jenna and Sheba. Was there something he didn't know?

"Now, Felix. Be reasonable." Kraden said, looking up from his novel he was writing for no apparent reason. "We went back to Aqua Rock for the Djinni,"

"But it was a DJINNI!" Felix stressed.

"And we went back into Gaia Rock for the Cloud Brand..." Kraden continued.

"But it was a frickin' cool weapon!" the Venus adept pointed out.

"The least you could do is go back with them to Air's Rock and get the damn chest." Kraden finished, returning to his work.

One couldn't argue with that logic.

So that afternoon, Felix was ambushed by Jenna, bound and gagged, and yanked all the way to Air's Rock. The rock didn't look much different. It was still really big, yellowish, and covered in Moai heads. Jenna had untied Felix once they had arrived. Picard, after apologizing numerous time to the enraged Felix, had time to think. What about this place was so disturbing it had even gotten the better of Felix? Besides the fact that he was a Venus Adept, there seemed to be not much else. Sheba had told him that they wouldn't even need to go inside the rock to find the chest, so that ruled out a lot of tricks and traps. Picard was puzzled. His question was soon answered, though.

There was a high-pitched scream from Felix as an Emu stepped out from behind a rock. The bird looked over at Felix's outburst and glared. The Emu advanced on Felix, hunger gleaming in it's eyes. The Venus adept looked absolutely petrified, until the Emu was vanquished with a single strike from Picard's Cloud Brand.

"My hero!" Felix squealed, latching on to Picard. The Lemurian blinked, normally he would jump for joy if Felix clung to him, but this was disturbing. Picard glanced over at Jenna and Sheba.

"He's afraid...of Emus?" Picard asked. Jenna and Sheba nodded.

"And birds in general. But mainly Emus." Jenna clarified.

"Then why haven't I noticed this before? We've faced birds before." Picard mused, remembering the many seabirds that always seemed to enjoy attacking HIS precious ship.

"He feels safe fighting next to us, evidently." Sheba said. "Now, grab the D.I.D.* and let's go," she muttered, heading off.

"Why do I feel this is going to be bad?..." Picard muttered, dragging the clingy Felix along with him.

After 240 Emu encounters, they finally make it to where the chest is. But of course, before Picard can cast Frost, Emu 241 shows up.

"I HATE BIRDS!" Felix screamed, this time going off the edge, and everyone knew. "Eat Odessey!" He yelled, casting the uber-cool looking psyenergy on the poor bird. Everyone stared. "Booya!" Felix yelled, and then he began laughing like a maniac. Picard wisely just looked away and froze the puddle into a pillar.

"Felix, go up and see what's in the chest." Picard commanded, the Venus adept obliged, and hopped up to the chest, chanting over and over,

"I hate birds, I hate birds, I HATE birds," etc, etc. Felix kicked the chest open. There was a pause, and then a shout heard all throughout Weyard.

"A SACRED FEATHER?! WE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT FOR A *BEEP*ING SACRED FEATHER?!"

*~*~*~*~*~*

*Damsel in Distress, if you didn't know. ^^;

A/N: Hehe... Did you enjoy? ^^; I...I really have no clue what's in that chest. I'm pretty sure It's NOT a sacred feather, but I made it be for humor value. I apologize for the shortness, but I have this other idea I maychance want to start... A Felix/Susa, you know, that poor boy in Izumo, with the girlfriend that's already named their (non-existent) first child? Eh, e-mail me if you want a quick summary, or if you like the idea at all. I need some more self-esteem boosting here. XD

Review!

~Sarah aka Celebi.