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Misery
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Misery. That is what I am in. Misery. Each day when I see rain fall from the sky, I know I am in misery. Each day when I see the snow hit the ground, death surrounds me and I know what I am in.
Exactly what I am in.
I am surrounded and suffocated by travesties and dread. Horrors and nightmares become my life and I am that protragonist and sometimes, at scarier times, I become the antagonist.
In myself I become the nightmare, the horror in my wake and I realise through the grey, this is not life. This is neither the living nor the dead. This is neither hell nor heaven. Neither here nor there. No, it is not.
The mundane and the dread become one, becoming an unearthly balance. A mixture of the darkness and light. A sort of destroyed theory of yin and yang.
Love is only a concept in which itself, is hatred. Hatred of thyself.
Good and bad, the morals in which we believe in so heavily, that we regard as the right and wrong, the evil and good. Demons and saints.
These are but figments of imagination. There is no such thing as right and wrong. At all viewed angels, the good becomes the evil and the sins become virtuous. Hell and Heaven, the ultimate challenge. Bad and good. A constant battle that shall never be finished, that shall never be won.
Because what we live in is not life, it is not the living nor the dead that surrounds us. It is neither life nor death. Heaven nor hell. No...it definietly is not...
This is misery.