Hair of the Dog
- A Touhou Project fanfic by Achariyth
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If fairies had tombstones, those nine words would adorn every single one. But since Nature had granted their race resilience instead of wisdom, fairies could laugh off their mistakes, including death, within minutes. That still didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell, as Cirno was about to find out. Again.
She yelled as she tumbled through the air. Occasionally, she'd catch Hina Kagiyama's glare as the goddess of misfortune spun past. More distressing, however, was the tree looming ever larger in her view.
So maybe, just maybe, the ice fairy shouldn't have tried to make Hina slip on a patch of ice as the goddess danced her circles through the forest. Sure, it would have been funny, but how could Cirno have known that the curse goddess would just hop over the ice? Or even worse, that someone as kindly as Hina would catch Cirno and, after a few quick spins, launch the fairy high into the air?
There was no reason for Hina to get mad. Cirno meant nothing by her little joke. Everyone knew that grass grew, sun shined, kappas built, and fairies tricked people. It was just the natural order of things…
As Hina spun past once more, Cirno turned blue. Gagging as her stomach leapt into her throat, she swallowed down her lunch for a second time. The tree loomed ever closer. Begging for mercy from whatever god might hear her plea, the ice fairy swore a solemn vow:
"I swear I'll never prank again… again…"
Cirno slammed into the tree trunk, spraying frost and snow into the air. One last though passed through her mind.
"And this time I really, really mean it."
She woke up at the base of the tree, sheltered in a small pile of newly made snow. Clutching her head and leaning back into the snow, she sighed. The soothing cold lessened the vice squeezing her head, allowing the protests of other aches and pains to be known. Cirno groaned, "What was I thinking?" At least the ice fairy would never run out of ice packs.
But no ice pack soothed wounded pride. The strongest of all fairies found herself in the middle of a dry spell when it came to mischief. Cirno still owed Sunny an earful for suggesting that attempt to untie Reimu's swimsuit. The shrine maiden had almost sealed her away for that. And it only got worse. Mokou had almost melted her and Cirno's game of hide and seek with Koishi had landed her straight into Flandre Scarlet's lair. Only the loudest of the ice fairy's latent self-preservation instincts had kept her out of Yuuka's sunflowers. She shook her head and cringed, cursing another bad idea in a growing series of bad ideas.
The world stopped spinning. How many times had she skulked away after another failed joke? It seemed like every day Cirno sat in a pile of fresh snow no larger than her body, soothing away her hurts with ice.
It was enough to set a fairy straight. No more pranks, no more jokes, no more of anything that could backfire disastrously on the ice fairy. Cirno even considered swearing off frozen frogs. She laughed at that thought. That would never happen; she had to keep some hobbies. Maybe she could still catch the frog goddess-
She shook her head against and leapt to her feet, wobbling slightly. No, it'd be nothing but the straight and narrow from now on.
Bushes rustled nearby. Cirno dove behind the tree, peering out to take a look. Alice Margatroid carried a large picnic basket as she walked through the forest. When she stopped, four Shanghai dolls spread out a thick red blanket at the doll maker's feet. The puppeteer set the basket down, piling bread, cheese, and fruit onto a cloth napkin.
Cirno licked her lips as a Shanghai doll uncovered the piece de resistance; a chocolate cake larger than that strange book Alice always carried around. The ice fairy's momentous decision deserved a celebration. Fate had rewarded her sacrifice with a most glorious treat. Alice would understand if she snuck one little bite. But just in case the doll maker didn't, the ice fairy untied her green bow from her hair, replacing it with a length of red ribbon she had borrowed from Rumia.
Adjusting her new bow, Cirno walked out towards Alice's cake, trying to act as doll-like as possible…
Touhou Project belongs to ZUN and Team Shanghai Alice.
Thanks go to Kerreb17 for proofreading.