I shut my eyes tightly, trying to hold back tears.
It was raining, everything silent except the sound of little water drops hitting the window.
I was pretending to be asleep, secretly watching Mello. He was packing his clothes by now, stuffing the baggy black shirts and different pairs of jeans and sweatpants into his small bag. He didn't look like he was going to wake me up before he left.
The tears were getting hard to keep in by now. I stopped breathing when I heard Mello approach me. I felt him run a hand through my auburn hair and touch my cheek softly. He sniffed quietly and slowly backed up. Picking up his bag, he turned off the barely visible light, and headed toward the door.
"You didn't even wake me?" I spoke, my voice shaking. I got out of bed, his hand paused on the doorknob, he was silent.
"Why?" Water blurred my vision, and I choked on my words. "Why do you want to leave me?" His hand dropped, and he looked down.
"I don't want to stay here anymore."
"Why? What did I do? We have everything here!" I shouted at him, my hands clenching. "Even if you did leave, where would you go? Everyone would be looking for you! A random orphanage would take you-
"Keep your voice down, Matt." He said softly. Does he not realize how I feel? Does he even care that he'll never see me again?
"Mello, I swear to fucking God," I said as he turned around to face me. "If you walk out that door I will never forgive you, and I fucking mean it."
He slowly walked toward the door, and I fell to my knees. I was shaking, crying silently. I heard Mello open the door and shut it quickly. Hugging myself, I let out a choke, staring at the floor while tears poured out of my eyes. My heart, shattered and broken, meant nothing to him. Did he even love me?
It felt like forever until I heard the small click of the door opening and closing. I couldn't bring myself to look up though; I was stuck on the floor, trapped in my spiral of thoughts. I heard a bag being thrown to the floor and feet rushing towards me.
Mello kneeled in front of me. "Matty," he whispered quietly. "I went to go lock the back door, I won't leave you." He pulled me into his scrawny yet comforting arms. We sat there for a few minutes, his arms around me while I was taking deep breaths, trying to calm my mind. He wasn't leaving; he's staying, for me. It seemed too easy though, I didn't expect him to just not leave without any arguing.
When I finally came back to my senses, I lifted my head. I nuzzled my face into his neck, my arms slowly coming around him. In response, he squeezed me tighter, breathed in the scent of my hair and let out a shaky sigh. I suspected he was crying too.
After a few minutes of just sitting there like that, Mello pulled away just enough to see my face. He cupped my cheek, using his thumbs to wipe my tears and used his other sleeve to quickly wipe away his.
"Matt," he whispered quietly. "I'm sorry…" I didn't say anything so he continued. "I didn't want to leave you, but it's not like I could've taken you with me."
"Why not..?"
He sighed. "You love it here; I can't just make you leave because I don't want to stay. I hate this place, but not because of you. I'll never be the best, so if I leave earlier then Near, I might have a head start. I can survive out there, but you can't, Matty."
"That's not true!" I said quickly. "I don't care where I am as long as I'm with you! If you want to leave then let's leave!" He shook his head, his hand reaching up to play with my hair.
"It's okay, for now let's just stay."
I shifted so that he was sitting crossed legged on the floor with me in his lap. My face went back to its place at Mello's neck. His hand started to stroke my hair. I was fully relaxed now, until a thought came back to my mind.
"Mels?" I whispered, and if he wasn't so close, he wouldn't have heard me. He let out a small 'hmm' in response. "If I didn't say anything would you have just left without waking me up?" He paused for a second, and then went back to running his hand through my hair.
"If I woke you up and said goodbye, I wouldn't have the guts to leave. Why do you think I've been so nice and loving this past week?" He had a point.
It was silent, nothing was heard. The gentle 'pang' of the rain hitting the window was soothing. The silence was not awkward at all. It wasn't tense or on edge, but rather at ease, peaceful.
Suddenly, I felt the urge to kiss him. Something inside me needed his lips on mine, more contact between us. I lifted my head and wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked up as well, blue eyes darting from green eyes to my lips. I guess he was thinking the same.
I leaned in, where he met me halfway. Our lips barely touched, I shifted closer and deepened the kiss. He slid his tongue into my mouth and I moaned. Running my hands through his golden locks, his hands slid down to my sides. His warm tongue explored my mouth and battled against mine. Our small make out session heated up pretty quickly; Mello shifted our position so he could pick me up. He carried me to my bed and put me down. I leaned back against the pillows while Mello crawled on top of me.
He grinned at me and our lips were soon reconnected. This time, my tongue slid between his pink lips. His tongue lapped at mine, creating more warmth. His mouth tasted of sweet chocolate, and a bit of mint was sealed behind soft lips. His taste and smell alone drove me crazy, making me beg for more. He was my drug; Mello was my drug.
I raised my hips to his, creating friction. He moaned and shut his eyes. I needed more of him. My hips lowered and I sat up, tearing off my baggy striped shirt. Mello sat up too, throwing his black shirt off. Standing on his knees, he pulled me closer. I, too, was on my knees now, our tongues sliding against each other. His hands freely explored my back. He ran a single finger down and stopped near my lower back, leaving a trail of fire. Each touch of his burned so pleasantly. I cupped his face, shoving my tongue deeper into his mouth. He lowered his hand to the front of my sweatpants, cupping my erection and I moaned loudly. He slid my pants down, lowering his head. I let out a shaky breath, closing my eyes and gripping his shoulders. My boxers were soon stripped too. He gently pushed me down onto the bed.
He engulfed my erection in his mouth; his warm mouth sliding back and forth. I moaned and tugged on his hair gently.
"Me-Mello…nngh…"
He smiled around my cock. He started humming and the vibrations shook my body with pleasure. After a while, he released my erection from his mouth and unzipped his jeans. He threw his jeans and boxers to the floor before crawling back up to me and enclosing my mouth for a kiss. While he was nibbling on my neck and down my chest, my hand slithered down his back and to his inner thighs. My hand crept to his stomach and gradually advanced closer to his cock. He gasped when I gripped his erection and started to pump it. This earned me a throaty moan. I continued to play with his cock until I felt a finger tease my entrance.
After I was done being stretched, Mello entered me. He started off slow at first but then started to get faster and faster. He finally hit my prostate and I screamed in pleasure. He rammed into my prostate again a few times before I finally came. I felt him come inside me. He stood there, panting for a few minutes before pulling out and lying down next to me.
I faced him with a gentle smile on my face. He was staring at the ceiling with a tired grin. He turned to face me, still panting a bit. A piece of his hair was sticking up somehow so I laughed and patted it down. He chuckled softly before snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me closer. I snuggled into his chest and looked up at him. He placed a small kiss on my lips and I smiled.
"I love you so much." He said sincerely to me. This time, I reached up to kiss him before responding.
"I love you too, Mello."