So I finally got off my lazy 4-IB-class-driven ass to write…I got this idea when walking around the mall earlier today and I saw a bunch of Sports Illustrated calendars, and I got to thinking. I know that Hatori is EXTREMELY OOC in this (he's probably more like Ayame or Shigure) but because of his closeness with Akito it had to be him. Besides, I think Tori-san can be mischievous when he wants to be, but he decides not to show it too much.

Voici le fanfiction!

WARNING: Spoilers for chapter….er, 117, I think? You probably know what it is already.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, just the plushies

Hatori Made a Boo-Boo

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Once upon a time there was a doctor named Hatori. Hatori was not a very happy doctor, for he had to take care of the very ill and ill-tempered head of the family, Akito. Akito was a feisty young head of the family, with a wonderfully abusive personality and had the gift of androgyny. No one really knew for sure what Akito's true gender was-until, that is, Hatori made a boo-boo.

While Hatori rarely showed a sense of humor or any personality at all, he did have his mischievous side. And after a long month's of treatments, broken glasses, medicine, and anger-management therapy sessions, he was about ready to enact a little revenge on his moody charge.

Hatori had the advantage (or disadvantage) of bathing Akito. While the gender-bending God/Goddess of the Zodiac was rather sickly, he/she still had a lovely figure, very slender and willowy. So Hatori paid his friends Shigure and Ayame handsomely to install a camera in the bath that would snap pictures of Akito as he/she bathed. Hatori tried to converse with Akito for as long as possible after he/she/it exited the bath, wearing a towel, in order to get the best photographs. Akito would usually hit him in his injured eye, causing him to bleed profusely, but after a week or so Hatori had enough good photographs for his final, dastardly plot.

You can imagine Akito's surprise when he/she/it was strolling through the hallways of the main house, coughing in an ill-God/Goddess/Alien Ruler-of-the-Zodiac type way, and noticed a different calendar hanging on the wall. A calendar with a very familiar, frail-looking, willowy figure gracing the month of February.

"HATORI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the angry God/Goddess of the Zodiac screamed. His/her intuition indicated that Hatori was indeed the culprit of this horrible deed, and that the other members of the Zodiac were all probably having a fabulous laugh about it right now.

Oh noes! Hatori was one dead doctor. And why's that, kids?

'Cause Hatori made a boo-boo!

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Was that as craptastic/cracktastic as I think it was? It was supposed to sound somewhat like a children's story, by the way. Read, review, tell me what you think please! This is my return from the grave (aka junior year).