One look puts the rhythm in my head.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around.
I see what's going down.
Every time I looked at Hermione Granger I saw falseness. No, it was never false hair, false make-up, nothing that would make her out to be a fake. Nothing to make herself out as a Barbie doll or anything. No, it was false cheeriness, false personality. Things that Hermione Granger usually had in mounds. It was like I was the only one that could see it. Her best friends would see her upset and think she was upset about exams or something typically Hermione. I would look in her eyes and see how miserable she was, but for a different reason, I couldn't understand, it was like I was the only one that cared, the only one the bothered to find out why she was so...depressed, I coudn't tell why I felt the need to be so protective…
Cover up with makeup in the mirror,
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again.
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you
Then one day it just clicked! I took one glance at her weary eyes, and I felt rotten inside. It was as if I could see what had happened. What had changed her perfect personality. And when I did realize I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and beaten into a bloody pulp, mounded into what I couln't even imagine. She shouldn't look that way, no-one should, not you not me, no-one should look like she had just had the life beaten out of her or him or Hermione…
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
I remember her telling me when we were in our fifth year, the year we had been close because I was like her, I liked to be myself and express myself, and she liked that about me. But she told me that sometimes at night when she was scared, or when she had just had a nightmare, she would pile blankets behind her back. As if then nothing could touch her then, she told me that when she did that she felt safe. 'It's like I don't want to be attacked from behind…I would rather look whoever hurt me in the eyes than not know…do you understand?' All I could do was nod my head, I was shocked that she felt the need to say something so...out there, something like that…
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect;
Every action in this world will bear a consequence.
If you wade around forever you will surely drown.
I see what's going down.
I once asked her if there was anything she wanted to tell me, anything I could help her with. I wanted her to trust in me. By then it was obvious what she was going through, but I couldn't tell her that I knew, she would just immediately feel pressured. I just wanted to help her, but she said to me 'why should there be anything? I'm perfectly happy.' I smiled at her and walked away. At that moment I wondered why she didn't get help…I wondered what stopped her from telling somone, anyone...
I see the way you go and say you're right again,
say your right again
heed my lecture
One slap and the side of my face held a trickle of blood. The second was twisting, twisting my wrist till it broke. I felt the bones in my arm yell in pain but I kept my mouth shut, causing him to twist harder till I gasped, barely breathing. I felt lousy, I looked up at the man who was punishing me. 'I didn't mean it!' I cried, I didn't even no what I had done wrong, what he was punishing me for. But I pleaded all the same. He stood before me and called me harsh names, names I couldn't fathom he was saying, names that you would never hear being spoken in the hallways of Hogwarts...the safety and warmth I felt when I was with my best friend. And then, as he gave me the blow that knocked me out, I realised what it was…
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Hermione and I were alike in many ways, we both had torturous pasts that we hated to discuss, depressing presents which no one knew of, and the wish for a future that would never come so long as we were in the hands of those we loved most...and those who broke our hearts. As I sat in that chair at the funeral that broke my heart more than any man ever could, I realised that it was pride; it was pride keeping people like us from telling people about our experiences with violence, Pride that stopped us showing our true emotions…
Face sown in the dirt, she said this doesn't hurt,
she said I've finally had enough
Pride…and fear, Fear that no one would believe us. And even if Hermione had gotten the help like I had wished her to before I felt the exact pain and suffering she had, she would never had come out of it alive, no amount of magic could stop that, we learnt that in defence against the dark arts. No amount of magic could stop the pain and suffering caused by family members, or people we loved…Hermione couldn't betray her father, just like I couldn't betray my boyfriend, it would crush her heart more than that of his repetitive blows, it would kill her more than he ever could…
One day she will tell you that she has had enough.
It's coming round again.
I actually believed she was going to tell her father that she couldn't bear it anymore, that she didn't want him to hurt her more than he already had, he had killed her spirit she told me, I don't want him to kill me too. So she went home with defiance in her eyes and promised to come back and help me, she went home…but she came back dead, and the blows to my heart worsened as much as the blows to my head. As the man I loved, my boyfriend, stood above me screeching and storming I couldn't take it…
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has
Tears rolled down my cheeks continuously, I winced as I felt his hard boot in my stomach, and I cried as he told me I was ungrateful, I gaped as he damaged what chance I had left of living a normal life. He slapped me and told me that I would never have enough love and I deserve all that he could give me…he was all I had left he told me...that wasn't true, I had a family that loved me, but they also loved him like a son, they thought we were a perfect match. More like his foot was perfectly colliding with my insides...
Face down in the dirt she says "this doesn't hurt"
she said I've finally had enough
But I had, had enough. I had enough strength at the moment to do the only thing under my control…though within a matter of hours it would be that last thing of mine going into his control, he would surely take it when he knew what I was thinking, but it was worth a try…as he kept shoving and hurting me I closed my eyes and stopped holding on…I let go of my life…I let go of him and I met my best friends eyes on the brink of heaven...
Face down in the dirt she says "this doesn't hurt"
she said I've finally had enough