Caring

Prof. McGonagall has a chat with one of her 7th years about the point of friendship and those who we care about. Set October after the war.

Reference to suicide. EDITED 3/11/11: Removed strong language so I can change the rating.

As often as I check my bank account, I'm still not earning more than the Queen because I'm not JK Rowling. Everything you recognise fuels the millions that she earns each year.

I hate Minerva McGonagall. Because of her I'm stuck here cleaning the Transfiguration classroom. Why did she have to pick that ruddy corridor to walk down! Wait, what IDIOT decided it would be good to spill ink all over their desk! If I ever catch the little twit I'll hex them into the next millennium. Anyway, I've got homework I need to do. 3rd time this week she's put me in detention and it's only Wednesday. What made her do that. So I'm slaving away here while I've got NEWT coursework piling up around my ears.

Here she comes now. She's supposed to be my Head of House, but she doesn't know me. She doesn't know anyone except her favourites.

"Miss Manson, when you've done the desks, please polish the windows."

"Yes Professor" I replied in my best "I can't be arsed to be doing this" voice.

"Why can't I get through to you, Miss Manson? This is the 3rd time you've had detention this week already. Why were you hexing that young man?"

"For your information," I began icily, "That young man happened to be insulting Gryffindor. As for why detentions don't work, well, I thought you knew your Gryffindors better than that." She looked horrified at what I was saying. "Let me remind you." I showed her my wrists, still covered with scars from where the sharp manacles had cut into me when I was chained in the dungeons. She visibly paled. "I have suffered beatings, torture and starvation. Detentions seem lame after that. They are only a minor annoyance."

"Jessica," Okay, she called me by my first name, "I'm sorry, you're right, I did forget. You didn't need that bringing up. If he was insulting Gryffindor, why weren't your friends helping you hex him, not that I condone hexing in any way?"

"I don't have friends. Friends make you weak."

"And, please tell, why that is."

"Friends are people you care about. If you care for someone, then you have more to lose when they're gone. If you don't care, what have you got to lose?" The war had hardened me. The idea of having a friend was alien already, only one month into the term.

"A friend is someone you can confide in, who can help you."

"Well I don't care. I've lost every one important to me, so screw friendship." I felt the words rushing out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I've lost my parents, my baby brother, my best friend, who for your information I saw DIE, and even my cat. I know what it's like to lose someone you care about, so sorry for trying to stop that!" I tried to choke back my tears.

"Jessica, is there anyone who cares about you?"

"No, I'm an orphan who has no family. I have no friends. I rented a flat for the summer. I intend to stay here for Christmas and Easter, and then find a job and a flat. Who is there to care about me?"

"Why didn't you come to me before, Jessica? I could have helped you."

"Sharing secrets means there is more people who can spill it."

"We're not at war anymore. You don't have to keep your guard up all the time. Has anyone noticed this change in you?"

"I have to keep my guard up because I can't stop. I wake up; get dressed; remove charms from around my bed; go and eat breakfast; go to lessons, spending any spare time in the library; do homework; eat dinner; do homework; put silencing charms round my bed so no-one hears my nightmares; go to sleep. When is there chance for anyone to notice I'm different if I don't talk to them?"

"Oh, Jessica. I know everything has been hard for you since the war but it's no excuse to bottle it up."

"Yeah, did you see a friend, your best friend, who you hadn't seen for a year because of Dolores Fucking Umbridge and her Gestapo with their idiotic Muggle-Born Registration committee, get thrown into a wall then hit by a curse that made them vomit up all their blood until they died?" Bringing up Colin was a painful subject. "Colin was the only person left that I cared about in the world and I lost him. I thought that it would be enough when they burnt down my house, killed my parents, tortured my 5 YEAR OLD BABY BROTHER INTO INSANITY AND KILLED HIM TOO!" I was yelling by this point and the tears were flowing thick and fast. "BUT NO, THEY HAD TO GO ONE STEP FURTHER. WHY DON'T I JUST CHUCK MYSELF OF THE ASTRONOMY TOWER, HEH?"

"Jessica, calm down, this is your anger talking. I had no idea that things had got this bad. I wish you had come to me sooner and I could have helped you before you reached breaking point. Your detention is over, but I'm taking you to the hospital wing. Come on dear." She put her arm around me and led me out of the room.

We got to the Hospital wing in about 10 mins and Madam Pomfrey led me over to a bed then went and talked to Professor McGonagall.

"What's wrong with her Minerva?"

"We've had a bit of an upsetting talk so she'll need a calming draught and a hot chocolate. I'd also recommend getting a mind healer in."

"Right, anything else?"

"Yes Poppy. She needs someone to care about her."

In this story, I imagine McGonagall still as Transfiguration Teacher and Head of Gryffindor simply because I imagine there could be a lack of teachers after the war. She is also Head; she would just have a lot of help.