Once upon a time there was a sleepover. Bella and Jessica were sitting in Bella's room annoying Edward through texts.
All of a sudden, a Jacob jumped through the window. The window was closed and, hence, it shattered. Bella's new lip ring was hurting and the very hot werewolf was trying to kiss it. Edward said that he would save her. Next James hopped in and tried to eat her teddy bear, and he had the nerve to kiss her with his sparkly pink lipstick, it hurt and would definitely turn into a bruise. Then the cannibal Eric was trying to give her a hickie.
Jessica was terrified and hiding in the closed closet with the door locked. She was so shocked that she forger to let Bella hide in the closet with her. Before she knew it, Bella was in a room with a hot werewolf Jacob, a hungry vampire James, sasquatch Mike, and a cannibal Eric. In all of the terror, Edward said that he was on his way to save Bella. She was trying to stop the madness but Carlisle , who came in at some unknown time, wouldn't shut up about infinity. Cannibal Eric was trying to eat Bella. Werewolf Jacob was drooling so much that Bella's room was a spitty pool. Sasquatch Mike's farts smelt so bad that the building was immediately evacuated. Bella was about to turn into a vampire because in all of the havoc, James bit her, AGAIN! In Carlisle's experiment, the toxic fart caught fire and exploded. But it was okay because they were able to shove Victoria into the house before it went KABOOM.
Bella was now a vampire. Carlisle was still trying to explain infinity to Bella but she was too busy trying to not get kissed by werewolf Jacob. Sasquatch Mike got eaten by cannibal Eric but not before he could eat Victoria's charred remains.
Jessica was found the next morning sleeping in the closet. She was completely unharmed.
The cannibal at James because he tried to bite him first.
Edward never showed up.