I tried to control my breathing. Breathe in, breathe out… count to ten. Isn't that what you are always told in anger management training? Eleven, twelve, thirteen… still not working. My fuse was lit and the firecracker was about to explode.

Fraser and I had to take cover from yet another round of flying bullets behind the nastiest dumpster this side of the Chicago skyline. We were in pursuit of two purse snatchers. Purse snatchers don't shoot at you. They throw the purse in your direction and keep running. No, these guys turned out to be drug dealers. Fraser had hit the nail on the head with that sideways cock of his head when he said, 'Something appears to be amiss, Ray'. Score one for the Mountie intuition. Bad guys were cornered and finally arrested after backup arrived. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…

Fraser picked a piece of water chestnut out of the dip in my collarbone and flicked it to the side with a wrinkle of his nose. "Think of the lives we saved today, Ray. The drug shipment alone that we help put a stop to has to be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars."

He leaned forward, flicked a piece of broccoli from behind my ear and whispered ever so quietly. "I'll make it up to you when we get home." He ran his thumb down my cheek to dislodge some runny sauce and then stepped back into his own space. Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen…

"Fraser, remind me to stop and get some Buds on the way home." I huffed in his direction, irritation, clearly written all over my face. He knew I was pissed. I wanted so much to wipe some of this slimy sauce all over his clean uniform. Teach him a lesson in maybe letting me land on him next time, versus the other way around. But then I looked in his eyes and knew how truly sorry he was. It wasn't his fault we ran into drug dealers.

"Understood, Ray," he couldn't hide the sincerity and love in his voice. My firecracker just fizzled. He has that effect on me.

No way was I driving all the way home with ginger soy sauce dripping down my neck and into places it just wasn't meant to be. We walked back to the station in silence. Fraser waited patiently while I hosed off and changed clothes. I would save the real shower for home, where I could linger under the hot steady stream and really scrub the top layer of skin off.

I unlocked the door and headed straight for the kitchen and popped open the fridge. I hung my head. Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two…

"Fraser, dammit… I asked you not to let me forget to pick up some Buds."

Strong arms slipped around my waist and pulled me away from the fridge. With one sure push, Fraser closed the door and kissed the back of my neck.

"You go clean the rest of the lo mein noodles out of your hair and I will go pick you up some buds. It's the least I can do. Forgive me?" Another kiss to the back of my neck and I was suddenly counting backwards, my irritation slipping away.

I turned in his embrace, pulled him in for a kiss of my own. "Of course I forgive you. Get a double six pack and we'll call it even."

The corner of his lip turned up into a crooked smile and my reverse counting was in motion again. "Anything else?" he asked as he reluctantly released me.

"Nope." One final kiss and I was heading for the shower to decontaminate myself. The longing for a Bud taking a backseat to a much needed cleansing shower. I heard the door click shut as I turned on the powerful spray and stepped in. This was heaven or at least the closest thing to it at the moment. Ten, nine, eight… I was almost relaxed. Another twenty minutes under the hot steamy spray and I was back to zero and feeling good. I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed for the bedroom to change into clean clothes. My jeans and t-shirt from earlier in the day had found themselves in the trash at the 27, beyond help.

The strong aroma of pizza hit my nose and I followed the scent out into the living room. 'Greatness,' I thought. 'Pizza to go with my Bud.' Fraser must be really feeling guilty for our Chinese dumpster diving.

"Frase…"

"In the kitchen, Ray."

I wandered into the kitchen. There's the love of my life sitting at the kitchen table with a pizza box to his left and plants to his immediate front and right. "What the hell is that?" One, two, three…

Fraser smiled that crooked smile, which almost always got him off the hook. I worked my way to the fridge waiting for an explanation. I pulled it open and stared in disbelief. No Bud. Four, five, six…

"Fraser, you have some explaining to do."

"You told me you wanted a double six pack, did you not?" he stated turning his head towards me. "I took the liberty of getting a mixed variety of buds." He turned back to the contents on the table before him. "In this container, we have pansies. You mentioned putting a flower box out on the patio last summer. I thought these would be lovely. See, this one hasn't even bloomed yet, full of new buds. And this one, a pastel pink dianthus. The garden center lady assured me it smelled wonderful. I also picked out two Gerbera daisies. I'm not sure the colors yet, they are just buds, but have very vivid colors when they do bloom. Oh, and don't forget the English daisy in coral pink."

Fraser looked at me and the excitement left his face. "Is something wrong, Ray?"

I shook my head as I leaned against the fridge. "No, Ben, everything's fine." I let out a sigh. "I'll just try to be clearer the next time I ask for something." His smile returned and I matched his with one of my own. "So, you get stuff to plant all these 'buds' of ours?" I squeezed his shoulder and sat down on the chair beside him.

"Of course, would you like to do it now?"

"Sure, why not?" I laughed and shook my head again.

We headed to the patio and for the next hour, created ourselves a tiny patch of paradise. I don't know when he had done it, but Fraser had two lounge chairs out on the patio already. He must have been planning this for some time. No way could he have gotten all this stuff out here while I took a twenty minute shower. By the time we were done, I had forgotten about my initial 'want' of a Bud and stared at the beautiful buds before me. A few of the pansies had opened up after being out in the warm sunshine, their tiny faces staring back at me.

Ben had been talking for some time of needing to get away to relax, but we never seem to have the same days off lately. To go anywhere together would be impossible at the particular juncture, so he brought relaxation to us in the form of a double six pack of buds. All we had to do was walk out into our paradise together. I scanned the view from the patio and never realized what a beautiful view of the city we had. I settled into one of the chairs and popped my feet up on the railing. I leaned back into my chair and closed my eyes.

Something cold was placed against my cheek. Before I could open my eyes to see what it was, Ben kissed me.

"I'm sorry about the dumpster diving, Ray." He held up a Bud and then another. Then he smiled that crooked smile, and I was back to zero.

"Care to join me for a drink?"

He knew what I needed after all, and it was sitting beside me in the warm sunshine of our hidden paradise… surrounded by 'buds' of different varieties.