TAUNT MY CHAINS


Short Summary combined with a must read and (sorry) very lengthy A/N:

What is James and Lily, instead of bearing a son, bore a daughter? Instead of Harry James Potter, the Boy who Lived. It's Sarah Lillian Potter, the Girl Who Lived. The Harry Potter series as you know it has happened pretty much exactly the same. Though a few things are changing now.

It is right after 'Sarah' had seen Voldemort rise again. Now to see why this is here I need to talk a bit about myself. I'm a girl and I'm sorry I can't write guy emotions, I'm incapable. To be honest I think Harry and Sirius' relationship sucks. They should have the more Father/Son relationship that fails to be shown in the books. lol that's where I take over. Sarah looks exactly like James still. You can look exactly like your father and be a girl, you can! She's average height and slender, jet black hair to half way down her back and shocking emerald eyes. ( I just want you to have a mental picture of her) Now if I tried to write a Harry POV he would sound pretty gay. So he's now Sarah. Sarah and Sirius will form an amazing father/daughter relationship. I love Sirius to pieces and Remus too. So now onto the rest of the story. Sarah, in the summer after fourth year feels alone and guilty for what happened at the end of last school year. She feels very alone after not receiving letters (Dumbledore says they may get intercepted) two people show up at the Dursely's one night that will change her life...

I swear it's worth reading you wont be disappointed if you just give it a chance! now one more thing I think Harry would have more friends. I have like 2 or 3 best friends and 3 or 4 really good friends then I have class friends and people I just say Hi too. I expect he would too. Especially since he's famous, people would just be like "What's up?" and not like Colin, he's admiring to a fault. But you know casually. So new characters will be introduced as Sarah's friends. And I know what your prolly thinking, I mean I usually hate original characters. But they will grow on you and you will love Sarah I promise!!! now thank you So much for listening to all that but it was necessary! Now PLEASE READ AND GIVE IT A CHANCE!

QUICK NOTE: Sorry this seems very mixed up and fast, I wanted it that way so you would see how this is going through Sarah. She is very mixed up and this is all like a blur to her. and I* is the Sarah in the pensieve

Disclaimer: I'm not J. K. Rowling, I know this will shock a lot of you, and I hope you can all find it in your hearts to laugh at anyone who needs me to write this... I think disclaimers are stupid. Sorry disclaimer, I didn't mean it...

~*~

PROLOGUE

"No Snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible" ~ Voltaire ( pretend for a second snowflakes can actually FEEL, then it's beautiful and completely appropriate)

~*~

"Sirius is waiting for us" Dumbledore said.

A warmness spread from my heart through out my body. Sirius was here, everything was going to be OK now... The door opened and Sirius was there, pale with worry.

"Oh, Sarah, Are you alright?" I fell into him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I buried my face into his chest trying hard not to break down and cry. He whispered words of comfort into my hair.

"What happened?" He asked over my head, rubbing my back soothingly. Dumbledore sighed before he started explaining what happened with Crouch.

~*~

"Sirius, would you like to stay with her?" He nodded looking at me for a second before transforming instantly into his dog form. Dumbledore helped me stand as I swayed with fatigue. Sirius stayed at my side and I grabbed a fistful of hair at his neck, leaning on him. We walked out of the office silently until we reached the hospital wing. I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep forever, to stay within my dreams forever and never wake up. I would not be so lucky. As Dumbledore spoke to my visitors Madame Pomfrey led me to my bed, shooting inquisitive looks at the dog I clung to.

"Here, dear" she handed me a set of pyjamas. I finally let go of Sirius' fur, feeling somehow off balance, what I didn't realize is, that's always how I feel now. Changed, I slipped into bed, and the curtains were opened around me as I lay back into the pillows with a tired sigh.

Sirius was intent on sitting right next to my bed, where my hand absently found it's way to his furry head. No one spoke a word and the sounds of silence I was so readily pleading for before, were now constricting.

"I'm okay" I said answering their looks "Just tired." Mrs. Weasley looked like she wanted to cry and I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn't, I wouldn't be able to hold out if she did. Hermione spoke out quietly

"Jenell and Becca and the others wanted to come see you but Madame Pomfrey wouldn't let everyone in". I smiled. "That's OK".

"Sarah" Dumbledore called softly. I looked up. "I want you to drink all of your dreamless sleep potion, I have business to attend, But I'll be back." He made to leave.

"Yes, Thank you, Sir" I called after him in a voice weighed down by exhaustion. He turned around looking at my with twinkling eyes that pierced my weathered soul before he swept out the door. I turned my gaze to Sirius, staring dutifully at me. I pet his head, in my signature way, though I had only pet him twice in his dog form, this was already a mannerism. Something I felt I had always done, maybe I had as a baby.

I felt such a yearning, at that moment, to have a serious talk with Sirius, one I hadn't had before with anyone. I wanted to ask about my parents, after just seeing them, speaking to them even. I wanted to know everything about them, and everything about my new Godfather. I have a habit of writing letters that are too long filled with useless information. When I wrote to Sirius, he seemed to enjoy the lengthy letters and I enjoyed the ones he wrote back. I finally felt like I had this person I could confide in. Like...dare I say it, a parent. I could never speak openly to Mrs. and Mr. Weasley. they were like a family to me, But they had too many children already. The Durselys? Well actually last summer I had begun to talk to Aunt Petunia more readily and she wasn't so terribly annoyed with me. But, I couldn't help feeling like I had missed out on something great, something essential even. Sirius was such a great 'Father' just through his letters, he made me feel so loved. I couldn't imagine actually getting to live with him like he had told me. Maybe this summer....

"Drink it all, dear" Madame Pomfrey instructed handing me a goblet. I looked around the room quietly before drinking a mouthful and before I could even finish the drink I fell into unconsciousness and my hand fell slack on my bed, away from Sirius.

~*~

I awoke to shouting. My drowsy eyes blinked as a rapid series of events shocked me. Minister Fudge, McGonagall, and Snape bursting into the room shouting about dementors; Pomfrey telling them to quiet; Dumbledore entered asking about the shouting; and the visitors of the hospital looked on in shock. I shook my head slightly to shake away the fogginess, like water from a wet dog. When the conversation turned to the Minister's distrust of me I spoke up.

"You've been reading Rita Skeeter" I calmly accused. He looked at me in an expression I could not identify, and will not soon forget. He justified himself with nonsense and I could feel anger shaking my body. And when he accused me of making the whole thing up, my trademark sarcasm bubbled to the surface like never before.

"Because that's just what I want to happen" I retorted with white anger. His raging eyes swung to me.

"How do I know what goes on in your demented mind" He hissed. Dumbledore sent a lashing of anger I had never felt before, towards Fudge. And as a natural silence proceeded Dumbledore's harsh words, I spoke a word, a single word that told the tale of what I had been thinking the last moments.

"Pensieve" All eyes turned to me. "What was that?" Dumbledore asked in a soft tone.

"Pensieve...couldn't I..." I searched for the correct words.

"If, you are up to it, you can, only if you really want to" Dumbledore finally replied. "Yes, of course, If it works" I threw a glare at Fudge "then yes of course"

He smiled at me quietly. "Thank you, Sarah" was all he said before waving his wand and on the table beside me materialized Dumbledore's Pensieve.

"What you have to do is think very hard about the memory you wish to see and I will do the actual extracting.

"He instructed quietly. Fudge stood with a blank face and the others were mixed of blank, curious, and from Mrs. Weasley, terror. I sighed and closed my eyes, concentrating hard on the memory I wanted so bad to erase. I felt a wand tip at my temple gently it pressed into me before it was pulled away, pulling something from me as well. It was an unexplainable feeling, a lightening feeling, like a burden was being released slowly. It was dropped into the fog and it swirled there before turning into a window, a window no one would ever wish to see. Though it only showed a maze of hedges at the moment, it held horrors of another world.

Time stood still for a second, a minute even. Dumbledore waved his hand shortly for Fudge to come closer and then looked to the visitors.

"If Sarah permits it, would anyone else like to accompany us?" He asked looking only at me. I nodded. "of course, everyone who wants to" I answered. I really didn't want anyone to have to see what I did, to have to be haunted like I am now, to be unclean, like me. But I also found a satisfaction in knowing others would be there. And I wanted to be there too, to see Fudge's face when Voldemort rose, to take sick satisfaction is his horror, he would have to believe us now, have to.

"I want to come too, though" I said in such firmness, I even sounded angry, reading myself for the argument to come, and it did. "Oh no" Mrs. Weasley said a trembling voice.

"Oh really" I answered in a voice that clearly conveyed every emotion running through me. How dare anyone tell me not to go, when I had been there, when I had felt it, when I had been the cause of it. How dare they. I turned my eyes to Sirius who was whimpering quietly. I just reached out to pet his head and looked up to Dumbledore.

"Can we go now?" I asked.

"Are you Sure?" His piercing eyes cast me a glance. "too sure" I said standing up leaning into Siri. Mrs. Weasley and Bill stood up, McGonagall, and Snape came closer to the group. I was astounded, yet glad to find Hermione and Ron had stayed sleeping on the chairs through the whole conversation. They needed not to be woken up. I turned to Dumbledore and nodded. "Everyone touch the surface"

We did and in a second I was being thrown into the pensieve with force. I hit the cold grass and stumbled into Sirius. He stood steady as I pushed myself up. Everyone stood in a cluster of silence. I saw the Trophy just in front of me and my eyes became unfocused as I stared at the root of the problem. I was snapped back into reality by Fudge's impatient throat clearings. I decided I better narrate the memory.

" We should be coming any second, Me from there" I pointed "and Cedric from there" I stumbled over his name like a foriegn word. And soon enough we heard running.

I* came running through one side and Cedric sprinting from the other. The space was huge, but Cedric was closer, I remember what was reeling in my head at that moment. How I thought I would just stop dead and Cedric would take it, he was so close and I would congratulate him a job well done. I would follow him out of the maze smiling proudly, sad I didn't win, But even happier that Cedric was the one to win, That Hogwarts would win. And I* did stop, because I* saw a HUGE spider coming from the side, barreling at Cedric.

"Look out!" I* shouted as I* hurled a couple of spells at it in rapid succession. Cedric saw it just in time and jumped out of the way. It was bearing down on Cedric's fallen form. I* was shouting at it, trying to distract it. I could feel Ron shivering at the sight of the huge spider. I myself was deadly afraid of spiders, but now, seeing this again wasn't frightening, I was too busy dreading what was coming next.

I* choked as I* jumped out of the way, one of my spells rebounding from its exterior straight at me. But finally it turned bearing down on me and took hurried steps backward. But it was too fast. I* shouted as it grabbed me. It held me upside down as I* felt excruciating pain in my leg. I* shouted curses at it, the last finally working, the disarming spell. It dropped me and I* fell to the cold ground I* shouted

"Stupefy" at the same time as Cedric. It fell over. I* grabbed onto the hedge pulling myself up. I pulled up my robes revealing a deadly bloody leg. I* winced and dropped the hem, my breath coming in short gasps. "Thank you" Cedric said standing up. "That's three times you helped me in this maze" "Don't mention it" I* said through clenched teeth. "Now take the cup, if you will, I think the spider was venomous"

Cedric looked to the cup and back at me. "You've helped me all through out the maze, It wouldn't be fair"

"You've helped me too, that's not the way this works, now take it" I* went on. My knee buckled beneath me and the hedge was all that was supporting me as I* tried pulled myself up. "Please, I want you to win, just take it" I* pleaded.

"No" He said now stubborn. "You deserve it"

"Please, stop trying to be noble, Just take and we can get out of here." I* said with insistence.

"No" he said again. "You're taking it"

"This is absolutely ridiculous, you know that right?" I* was standing on my one good leg.

"Then, we'll both take it" I* finally suggested.

He looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yes, it will still be a Hogwarts victory." I* said looking up.

"Okay" He came and took my elbow, helping me walk to the cup. "On the count of three"

1...2...3...

We both grabbed a handle and the whole world went spinning around us.

We all landed gracefully on the dark graveyard.

My* leg gave way as I slammed into the damp ground. Cedric helped me up and I* looked around in a mild state of panic."Where are we?"

"I'm not sure...do you think it's part of the task?" Cedric didn't look as apprehensive as I* felt.

My wand was out in an instant as I* turned looking around. "No" I* said with a firmness.

"This is not part of the task." I* whispered.

"Wand out" I* instructed, noticing his lack of one. I* stumbled forward scanning the surrounding. But I* stopped dead when I* heard the sound of dragging through the leaves. I* Grabbed Cedric arm trying to pull him behind a nearby gravestone but he wouldn't budge. I* hissed at him to come. Before I* stopped, There was a huge cauldron, and a short man, dressed in black with a bundle of robes. I* froze before I was hit with such an unbelievable amount of pain, I fell to my knees, my wand fell from my hand and I pressed my hands against my forehead. My breath was not coming out of my throat. I heard a voice then, that will haunt my nightmares.

"Kill the spare" It hissed. And I knew what it meant, through my haze of pain my brain connected everything. I saw a green flash of light through my eyelids, screwed tight with pain and I lunged to my right, where Cedric was standing. I connected with him and we fell to the ground. The pain disappeared. I looked up and saw the life-less eyes of Cedric. I gasped and jumped back in shock. He was dead.... Before I could even move someone grabbed the back of my robes, dragging my struggling body to a huge headstone before slamming me into it. I struggled as he tied the ropes and he hit me. It was wormtail...

~*~

We were thrown headlong out of the pensieve and landed in the hospital wing. I swayed but held fast onto Sirius. Mme. Pomfrey helped my to the bed and pulled my sweaty hand from out of Sirius fur as she tucked me in without so much as a word. The room was deathly silent and I couldn't stand it. Sirius whimpered and lightly jumped onto the bed lying down next to me and placed his head on my stomach. Dumbledore watched me as I pet Sirius.

"Thank you, Sarah" He smiled quietly. "Anytime, Sir" I said detached.

"That was absolutely ridiculous" Fudge raged. Dumbledore turned and lashed at Fudge.

"It could have been a dream for all I know" Fudge countered. Then I heard a speech I thought I would never hear from Dumbledore, about the parting of the ways, the ministry and Dumbledore splitting up. How cliche I thought bitterly. The government against it's people. How awfully story book. Fudge stopped from storming out just long enough to deposit a sack of gold on my bed side table. Dumbledore then asked Sirius to show himself and he did as he leapt off the bed and transformed. Snape, as well as Mrs. Weasley, let out an exclamation of surprise and distaste. Their stares of loathing were icy cold. Then Dumbledore forced them to shake hands, something I had never even dreamt of seeing. Snape left on a mission asked of him by Dumbledore. Then something happened that filled me with complete emptiness. A complete sense of loss. He asked Sirius to go on a mission as well. And I protested weakly.

"I have to do what I can. You understand don't you"

"Yes, of course I do" I lied through my teeth. I didn't understand at all. Dumbledore had other people. Sirius wasn't exactly needed for this. What if I needed him? Well, that would just be selfish I told myself. And I was immediately ashamed of what I had previously thought. Sirius came and gave me a tight hug.

"I will see you very soon I promise." He whispered.

"Good Luck" Was all I said before he smiled, saluted Dumbledore and left the room in a swish of his tail.

Dumbledore went on rambling plans as I let my head fall back against the wall. And I closed my eyes in despair. All alone again. It seemed like Sirius had never even been here. Like I had just imagined it. Dumbledore said something to me about taking potion and I just nodded as he left. I was alone with Mrs. Weasley, Ron, and Hermione.

TBC

A/N: Please REVIEW and tell me what you thought. I really can't wait to hear what you think of it so far, the first chapter will be here soon so please please tell me what you thought!! Keep in mind all flames will be used to warm my hot chocolate.