Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot
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A long, long time ago, before iPads were invented, a random prince rescued Sleeping Beauty from an ugly witch's spell since he was passing by and is totally not controlled by the plot to go and rescue slash got his first kiss stolen by a virtual stranger that is a princess. As pretty much how all fairy tales end, the princess wakes up, somehow not reeks of morning breath that have been saving up for the past century, got hit by a love arrow and fell in love with the prince without even knowing which side of the 'Chicken and Egg' theory does he supports.
Of course the chicken has to come first, duh.
Back to the main point, yeah, they get married in a heartbeat, do this and that, yada yada, and have one son, one daughter, and one egg five years into their new life.
Since the egg was useless, they threw it into the river.
The egg absorbs water and expands in size, and it just so happened that a wealthy family were passing by and were craving fried egg. The lady, Mevia, ordered her servants to pick it up and bring it home for tomorrow's breakfast. As the chef was heating oil in a frying pan, the egg cracked and an auburn haired girl climbed out.
Hadrian, the head of the family, decided to take the girl in as their foster child and named her 'Petra'. Or at least that was what he would like to tell the world. The white-haired man's intentions were anything but pure, as he had planned to raise the child up to be a loyal servant that can protect his daughter from now until the day she dies. Lady Mevia was of the same opinion since she pulled some strings with the officials so that the child's paperwork is impeccable and no one would suspect of an egg-borne girl.
Petra doesn't understand humans' cruelty or Hadrian's obviously evil plot, so she just signs randomly on the contract binding her to the family. So she got tricked.
"Remember you old hag; you owe me thirty chocolate chips red velvet cupcakes for this!"
Maybe….not so much.
Anyway. The family worked her to the bone; she has to wake up at three in the morning, clean the house until it shines, helping in the kitchen to cook food, doing her sisters' homework, clean the toilet, going shopping, chopping woods, feeding the fish, cleaning the pool, drying Hadrian, and more. Her 'sisters', Jess and Olivia, were extremely cruel towards her, and often not let her have any chocolate chips red velvet cupcakes.
One random day out of the 365 choices, the Prince of the MCSM kingdom held a magnificent ball, and every noble was invited. Even though on the surface it was known as a sign of good will the royal family offers to its faithful servants, the upper class knew better; it was but an excuse for the prince to find his other half, and the best chance to show off their daughters.
Lady Mevia seized this chance and dressed her daughters up beautifully; slimy fish dress, extra long eyelashes, cute wet nose that was inspired by a stray dog, fizzy hair like seaweed, perfume that smells like salted dry fish, bone-white skin, dark eyeshadows, and a curvy body stuffed with lettuce and salad at all the wrong places. Petra has always dreamed of going to a grand party, but Hadrian denied the opportunity, though he did give her a compromise; he will mix cocoa powder and Milo chocolate milk powder together and orders her to completely separate the two apart before she can accompany them to the call.
Devastated, Petra watched with agony as her 'family' left for the ball with a high-class rainbow Rolls Royce.
Just kidding.
After they left on a wooden carriage, Petra stole some money from Mevia's wallet and buy a new box of cocoa powder and a packet of Milo powder. She dumped it out into separate bowls and promptly dumps the mess that Hadrian made out the window.
As Petra looked through her clothes, she realized that she has no gown worthy for this occasion; all she had was hand-me-downs from the servants. The invitation to the party explicitly states that 'All participants have to wear formal suits; formal wears for men and gowns for women. You can wear whatever you want if you are in between.'
Petra cried. She'd have to miss out on the free chocolate chip red velvet cupcakes they have at the party.'
Unexpectedly, a fairy with wings and a beard appeared. She asked in a gruff tone that can only belong to an arrogant potionologist that created a monster just to prove his point, totally not fit with the image of a fairy godmother; but then again, fairies aren't supposed to wear a mini-dress, have hairy, unshaved legs and arms, or stinks like they hadn't had a bath in years, "Dear child, why are you crying?"
"Who are you?" Petra curiously asked.
"I am a fairy named Ivor. Why are you crying?"
Feeling lonely, Petra told Ivor everything that had happened to her. Ivor the ever compassionate fairy godmother cried as they sat there for hours comforting each other.
And they lived happily ever after…..
.
.
.
.
Yeah, right.
Ivor said, "See ya. I have to meet up with my boyfriend soon."
And she disappeared.
But before Ivor disappeared, Petra grabbed the fairy's wand and gave herself beautiful clothes; a pearl dress dusted with gold dust made from diamond and silver topping. After staring at her reflection in the mirror for a few minutes, she climbed on the pumpkin-no, a Lamborgini and drove off to the palace. We will ignore the blatant elephant in the room about how a lowly servant managed to drive a car for the first time without any knowledge and move on for the sake of the story.
The palace's guards stopped her, but after offering her expensive new car to them, they left her alone. Petra got in successfully.
Inside the palace, Prince Lukas is making a speech about how he is grateful for everyone that managed to come to the ball, yada yada when he caught sight of Petra munching on a mountain of chocolate chips red velvet cupcakes like a rabid dog, scaring the other noblemen surrounding her. Lightning struck. Thunder boom. A puppy might have died somewhere. And Prince Lukas is officially in love with Cinderella Petra.
Seizing his chance, Prince Lukas stopped in the middle of his speech and order his men to move the white spotlight to her. As for Petra, she stopped eating when she felt hundreds of gazes on her along with a bright light above her head. Romantic music played in the background as Prince Lukas descended from a cliché rose swing like an angel.
"My dear….will you be my wife?"
Staring into the stranger's ocean blue eyes, she asked, "One thousand chocolate chips red velvet cupcakes, and we have a deal."
"I can even build a castle made from chocolate chips red velvet cupcakes for you, my love." The Prince winked. You fangirls slash fanboys can complain about how OOC this is, but this is a fairytale, and, in general, are cliché.
"Sure. When's the wedding?"
Many guests were disappointed as they started to leave; there was no reason to stay now that they can't get their daughter and the prince together for their own gain. The Prince invited the Cinderella to dance, as she noted that it is ten minutes to twelve A.M.
Eh. Who cares what time it is.
She continued to dance with the prince, but Ivor the fairy's voice suddenly appeared in her mind and yelled, "YOU FOOL! ALL THE MAGIC WILL BE RENDERED UNEFFECTIVE AT TWELVE A.M.!"
Petra immediately realized the implications of her predicament and quickly made up some half-assed excuse about a boiling kettle and ran out of the palace. Not one to be left behind, Prince Lukas quickly chases after her. The auburn haired girl tripped on her long gown that even the author doesn't know what it is made of and fell down the stair, rolling down the rest of the way like a log.
All hail the holy log.
Not wanting to reveal her identity to the meal ticket, A.K.A the Prince, she forced herself up and continue running to the gate. Petra stole her Lamborghini from the drunk guards and drove back home. Halfway there, the fancy car disappeared along with the rest of her ball gown, only leaving her in the dirty clothes that she started with.
As for Prince Lukas, the crystal shoe that fell from Petra's foot when she tripped landed squarely on his face. He fainted.
A few days later, Prince Lukas and his servants came to Hadrian's manor, stating that he is personally testing the crystal shoe he found on all female attendants of the ball last night. Jess was the first to try on the shoe, and then Olivia. Mevia was reluctant to let Petra tried the shoe on, but one stern gaze from the prince immediately changed her mind. The shoe fits all on three of them; not an inch bigger or smaller.
But Prince Lukas immediately orders his men to take Petra back to the palace and declare her his wife in front of the stunned family. Protests were made, but none could surpass the shrill scream that Mevia let out, "Please wait for a moment, Prince Lukas! Jess and Olivia's feet both also fit that crystal shoe!"
The prince looked at Lady Mevia, shook his head solemnly as if questioning her intelligence, before addressing everyone that has a dumbstruck expression, "You lot want to know why?"
Almost everyone nodded except for Petra and Hadrian; the former was happily munching on several chocolate chips red velvet cupcakes the prince brought with him and the latter was too dignified to allow such a lowly reaction.
"I could never forget the horrible stench from that crystal shoe Petra left behind that fateful night. It smelled so bad that I'd fainted immediately. Her foot," Lukas pointed at Petra's feet, "-definitely smelled like that!"
Prince Lukas took Cinderella Petra back to his palace, and live happily ever after-
"Where is my chocolate chips red velvet cupcakes castle that you promised?"
-well, almost happily ever after, anyhow.
THE END
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Oh wait…
Fairy godmother Ivor and Witch Harper also lived happily ever after, too.