Ok so one day a man named Tom "The Fat Fuck" Gamet was a sad lonely 15 year old who ate nothing but Wendy's fried chicken. Tom was approached by a fried chicken loving nigger named Daron.
Daron said to Tom "One day, you'll grow up to be nice and fat, and when that day comes, I'm gonna fuck ya"
Tom said "When my balls drop to the floor and my dick spurts rainbows you can fuck me"
Daron proceeds to leave. Tom continues to eat this chicken by himself all the way throguh high school, skipping out on his prom, a social life, friends, everything a normal teenage would have.
Except tom isn't normal. Tom is 9 feet tall, weighs 709 pounds, and his only "friend" is a mosquito named Athan. One day, Tom decided that he had had enough of his poor diet and wanted to slim down, so he started eating at Subway (eat fresh).
On his first day of losing weight, Tom decided to purchase a footlong ham and cheese sub with a diet pepsi. The cashier, Rant, rang him up the total, $6.67. Tom sat down and ate his meal, compeltely unaware of his surroundings.
He didn't notice that his GINORMOUS ASS was positioned on top of a 14 year old girl's face, and that her face was up about 3 inches into his asshole. Tom continued tpo eat, unaware that he was suffocating this poor girl. After he ate, he realized that something wasn't right.
His belly felt weird, something he hadn't felt in a long time. His body was so used to digesting chicken that the taste of ham and cheese actually upset his stomach. His intestines began rumbling and Tom knew he had to get to a toilet fast or else there was going to be a Hindenburg-like event occuring in his seat.
Panicking, he looked around and noticed the toilet, but unfortunately, it was occupied. Tom went back to his seat with the little girl still inside his asshole, sat down and yelled.
"EVERYBODY! I IS NO CHICKEN IN BELLY I'M GONNA SPURT EVERYWHERE"
Tom decided to humilliate ihmself in front of everyone for the hell of it and because he was out of options.
The cashier, Rant, yelled "OMG HE'S GONNA BURST DUCK IN COVER!"
Tom blew the biggest shit the subway franchise chain had ever seen. The little girl took the brunt of the impact; smashing head first into the cooking oven, completely covered in shit, mayonnaise, and pickles. She was killed instantly.
The rest of the restaurant was then covered in a mixutre of ham, cheese, chicken, and the dead corpse of tom's mosquito friend Athan. The entire restaurant was covered, head to toe. Tom looked up in surprise; how did a man of his stature completely flood an entire restaurant full of shit?
He cleaned himself off and walked to the register. Rant, who managed to take cover in a hidden compartment moments before the explosion, opened it to greet a massive pile of shit fall into his mouth. He vomited uncrollably for 5 minutes than stood up to face the giant fat fuck of a man.
Rant said "you know your paying for this to be cleaned up right?"
"I know" Tom said, but that's not what I'm here for"
"You didn't seem to give me back my change, I paid for my meal with a 10 dollar bill."
"Ok sorry" Rant said "how much do I owe you?"
"I'ma need about tree-fiddy" Tom said.
It was then that Rant realised,
That Tom,
was the god,
damn,
Loch
Ness
Monster.