"Talking"

'Thinking'

Disclaimer: Don't own it…'cause If I did a few things would be different…anyway...R&R please!

The funerals for Kai-stern and Alfeegi were over. Though there wasn't much left to bury for either of them. A severely decayed body for Kai-stern, and no body for Alfeegi. His body had been buried in the rubble. Ruwalk was making his way back to his room, trying to keep the recent events out of his mind. He couldn't accept that those two were dead, even though he had seen the bodies, the empty eyes of his former friends, himself. Something Cernozura called shock, or something like that. Not that he cared what it was called. His two friends, aside from Lykouleon, were gone and buried. He wouldn't have to worry about Alfeegi chasing him down, or Kai-stern coming back to the castle completely smashed…thought that was what he was going to miss. Admit it or not, that's what brought those three together, made them friends. After all, where one was found, the other two were probably around. Ask if they were friends, and they would deny even liking the other. But they were, in their own way. Now only he was left of the three friends. And all he had was his duties, and an empty, gapping, hole where the two used to be.

His footsteps faltered, and he stopped to see that his vision had misted over. He was crying, or beginning to. He wiped his eyes, and continued towards his room. He couldn't cry, not here, not in the halls where someone could see him. No, he was representing Lykouleon and he couldn't cry, not now…not yet. He could see his room's door, only a few steps away. Safety, somewhere he didn't have to worry about how he looked.

He closed the door behind himself, and leaned against it, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. He went to go and lie down, but a picture caught his eye. It was a picture of when him, Alfeegi, and Kai-stern had their first dinner together. Ruwalk was laughing, Alfeegi was hunched over and looked annoyed, as Kai-stern was talking over him to Ruwalk. Friends, they were friends, even back then…

"WHY?! Why, why, why!? Why did you two leave? How could you be so stupid, and get yourselves killed?!" Ruwalk collapsed to his knees, whacking the picture off the table, cracking the glass. He started crying; he couldn't take it, he just couldn't anymore. Too much had landed on him, too much along with grief he still had failed to address. There was a limit to everyone, and he had finally hit his. Who would have thought that a picture that had always made him laugh, would now be the same thing to push him over the edge.

He was lost enough in his misery that he didn't hear his door open.

"Ruwalk? Are you okay?" a voice asked, a voice he recognized. The Black Dragon Officer, Captain-

"T-Tetheus. Yeah, I-I'm fine." He said, trying to control his expression, and sobs, as he scrambled up to his feet. He wiped his eyes, and managed a small smile. Tetheus' frown deepened.

"You're not. Do not try to fool me. I heard you crying. I am no idiot; do not treat me as one." Tetheus responded, and the small, forced, smile, dropped from Ruwalk's face. He looked down to his feet, where the cracked picture laid, and almost lost it, again.

"I'm fine." Ruwalk muttered, still not meeting Tetheus' gaze. He looked unconvinced, still.

'I'm not lying…not really. I will be fine-later.'

"Are you sure? No one would blame you. You were close to those two, and the Dragon Lord. Ruwalk, talk to me-please. It'll help." Tetheus…pleaded? Ruwalk's head snapped up, to meet the crimson gaze of the Captain. He looked genuinely worried about him…

'I-I…you win.'

Ruwalk took a deep breath, exhaled, and began talking.

"I-I tried. I tried to save them, both of them. I failed, I-I f-failed them! They needed me to help them, and I failed! They were my friends, and lo-look what happened to them, I couldn't h-help them…I screwed up, my best wasn't good enough, I couldn't save them, I couldn't even help them! My f-friends are dying! Even Ly-Lykouleon, and I can o-o-only watch! I've tried, I've…tried. Te-Tetheus? Whe-where did I go wrong?" he ended up crying again, and trying to talk through the tears. He saw Tetheus' worried look, and buried his face in his hands, his fingers curled into his hair, in an attempt to hide the tears from view. Tetheus' soft footsteps could be heard moving closer to the distressed man.

"Ruwalk. You tried your best. There was nothing you could have done. Nothing more, you said yourself you gave it your all. It's okay. There is nothing to blame yourself for."

'No, no it's not okay! I couldn't do anything! Don't say things like that! I could have done more, I know I could have!'

"I-I'm no good. I…I can't even fight well. I'm not a good replacement, for either two. Lykouleon only chose me because I'm his friend…" Ruwalk protested. He heard an aggravated sigh, and Tetheus sitting down on the bed. Then felt himself being pulled onto the bed next to the red-eyed officer. Ruwalk dropped his hands, and stared at the other.

"Listen. He did not chose you because you're his friend. He chose you because you are good at making people like you, you are the calming force here." Tetheus explained, and Ruwalk shook his head.

'You're wrong, I can't do anything right. Please, stop saying things out of pity.'

Ruwalk remained silent, and didn't respond. Instead he stared down at his hands. Tetheus sighed, and tried to think of something he could say to bring the Yellow Officer around.

"Ruwalk, please. Believe me. You're a friend, and a good officer. You give it your all for anyone. His Majesty chose you because you have a good heart, and right now that seems to be the problem. You lost two friends, and it hurts. But listen to me. We care about you. The Lord and Lady wouldn't like to see you like this. And…I don't like seeing you like this…" Tetheus sighed, and Ruwalk looked over to the other, startled.

'He cares? But why?'

"You can talk to me, just don't do something stupid." Tetheus finished, and Ruwalk found enough of his nerve to reply.

"I-I…okay…" he said, and nodded. Tetheus smiled.

"Good. I need to finish my rounds. Please, if you have trouble, you can come to me." he said, as he stood up, and left, shutting the door, gently, behind himself.

'Thank you.'

Ruwalk stood up, and picked up the picture, and placed it back on the table near his bed.

'Alfeegi, Kai-stern...I miss you, but I think I will be able to move on. That's what you would have wanted. Heh, you two complained even when I was sad about the loss of the Red Officer.'

He laid down on his bed, and stared up at the ceiling. He knew it was going to be difficult, but he could feel the grief easing, and the empty place in his heart filling up slightly. He knew he had a friend or two left. And he was going to make sure he didn't fail them.

'I won't. I will make sure I can help them, I will not fail.'

He drifted off to sleep with that determined thought running through his mind.

(should I add more? Or just leave it? Did you like it or not? Review!!)