A/N: There are two answers for the question 'why want I publish this story?'. The first one: I really like Spam friendship. I think that for Sam Spencer was not only a friend, but also kind of guardian she has never had. I wanted to show their friendship in this story - I'm not sure, if I managed, but I was really doing my best. And in 'iGoodbye', when Spencer gave Sam this motorcycle (it was the cutest Spam moment ever!), I thought that it would be quite interesting, if she would requite to him somehow. And there's the second reason: I truly, truly believe in Spaudrey. I believe they met up and now they're happy together. Because Spencer really deserves it.
As usual - let me know if there are any mistakes. Any reviews are very welcomed. Hope you'll like it. :)
"Why? Why would you give it to me?"
"Because you're a great best friend to my little sister. And you have a good heart. And you deserve it."
It's nice - ride, just ride, hear nothing but the airflow, see nothing but the surrounding blending in a grey-green tunnel. She wants to laugh, but she can't, she can't utter any happy sound, because there's a lump in her throat and she fights with tears.
Carly left.
Even the fact she's driving the coolest motorcycle ever now doesn't cheer her up. She feels deserted, lonely, left on her own.
The only person who was seeing a good in her, left her.
She parks next to her house and gets off the motorcycle, but she doesn't come inside. Nobody's home, her mother has left the house a few days ago and so far hasn't returned. Maybe she got arrested again, but she doesn't care. She doesn't care of anything, because Carly left.
She sits down on the stairs before house. There's silence around her, only some dog barks somewhere. This district is called 'dangerous', what always makes her laugh, because she has been never attacked. Maybe because all the people are scared of her.
Maybe. But it doesn't matter now. Carly left.
She looks at the motorcycle standing in front of her, shining by his greatness. It's perfect in every way, it can't be better. She was spending countless night when she didn't sleep in Carly's home and couldn't back home, because her mother had brought home a new lover again, dreaming about this kind of motorcycle.
And now she just has it. It stands here, innocent and perfect. It just is. And belongs to her.
But why? What has she done to deserve it? Nothing. She was just herself. Mean, sassy, rude girl. Rude girls don't get the coolest motorcycles ever just like that.
You deserve it.
For some strange for her reason Spencer has came to the conclude she deserves this motorcycle.
You have a good heart.
But it's an obvious lie.
But Spencer noticed something positive in her, something what convinced him to give her this motorcycle. He noticed a good in her. He's the second person - right after his sister - who sees in her, Sam Puckett, anything, what makes somebody to say 'hey, she's not so evil.'
Sam appreciates this kind of things, although she doesn't show it. But she's got her pride and knows if someone does something good for her, she has to do something good for him.
She knows, what she can do for Spencer.
Sam shoots into 8-C apartment, without knocking, slamming the door. She's angry - actually, she's mad and nobody can stop her now. She knows that she should be more polite, of course she's aware of it (she doesn't look it, though).
"Hey, Sam, nice to see you, knock on the door sometimes!" Irritated Spencer emerges from the kitchen. Sam stops, takes a deep breath and flicks her hair from face. Her cheeks are burning.
"Yeah, I know, my bad," she says. "Is Carly here? We're gonna do a rehearsal to the webcast."
"No, she's in a supermarket, but she should come back home very soon."
Sam sits down by the kitchen table and props up her chin on her fists. She looks at Spencer making his famous spaghetti tacos. She notices that observation his moves calms her down, because there's a one purpose, on which she can focus.
"Such a bad day, huh?" Spencer says in a certain moment. She moves her gaze to his face and raises her eyebrowns slightly.
"How do you know?" she asks, surprised a little. Spencer only shrugs.
"You look upset," he says. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"
When people see Sam upset, they usually run away from her, expecting that she would unload her emotions on them (and usually they're right). But sometimes there are some courageous people who are trying to force out from her, what's going on, although Sam doesn't want to confide to anyone - it only makes her even more angry. That's why she's surprised by Spencer's question.
"It's nothing big," she says, waving her hand dismissively. "I just... had a little argument with my mother, but it's nothing new, huh?" She tries to smile, but it turns only into a frown. "Beside this, Briggs threatened me again that I would repeat a year because of Maths, what a suckish day." She takes a deep breath again. "I'm not even hungry."
"I can't help you with your mom," Spencer says, still making spaghetti tacos, "but I can help you with Maths."
"Really?" Sam is surprised. Spencer shrugs.
"I was quite good at Maths in a high school," he says modestly. "I help Carly sometimes when she doesn't understand something, so it's a trifle. And if it would help you... it's even better." He gives her a little smile.
"It would be awesome," Sam admits and her mood becomes better. She goes to the fridge and empties it from half of a contents.
"You have to help me with something, Freddolini," demands Sam. Freddie looks at her with anxious.
"Maybe a magic word?" he asks and Sam in the respond hits his arm. The boy moans of pain, grabbing his sore place. "Okay, let's stand it was a magic word," he utters. "What's going on?"
"You have to find someone for me." Sam sits down next to him. "It's no problem for you, right, Techdumb?"
"It depends of who you want to find." Freddie still massages his sore arm, but after some time he turns on his computer to grant her wish. Meanwhile she's looking around Freddie's room, when they're sitting. She was spending a lot of time here, when Freddie and her... nevermind.
"I'm looking for Audrey Kayleigh," she says and feels relieved, when Freddie doesn't get on to about who she's saying. "She lives in Vancouver."
"Okay, let's try..." Freddie starts to typing incredibly fast. Suddenly he stops and looks at Sam, amazed. "Moment... Audrey from Vancouver? Do you mean this Audrey from Vancouver?"
"Not your business," Sam snarls at him, "just find her."
Freddie rolls his eyes and backs to the search. Sam feels mortified, because of asking Freddie to help, but this time she has no choice - he's the only person who can help her. It makes her angry, but she clenches her teeth thinking about her purpose.
"So? Why it lasts so long?" she gets impatient. "Can you even find her?"
"It's not so easy," says Freddie resentful by fact that Sam even for a while casted doubt on his knowledge. "Okay, I've got something. There are three Audreys Kayleigh living in Vancouver and these are their adresses. I don't know why you need it, but you're welcome, let them serve you." He gives her a piece of paper with written adresses.
"Thanks, Fredo." Sam hits him slighty; it's her way to say 'thank you'. "I'm sure this gonna be necessary."
Usually she shoots into 8-C apartment violently and without knocking, making her way toward the fridge - if she doesn't come with Carly controlling her to behave at least a little normal. But this time she just comes into apartment, naturally, like she would live here. She's aware she has treated this place like a hotel, but it doesn't bother her - especially when it's a free hotel.
Of course, she has her own flat and over there she should spend her free time, but one hundred times more she prefers to be here, in the Bushwell Plaza, than in her devastated home, where's her mother - or she isn't, but Sam doesn't care so much.
She sits down on the couch and looks blankly ahead. She's downcast, first time in her life downcast so much. She feels mortified and stupid and she barely refrain from crying - but she, Sam Puckett, never cries. The toughest girl in a neighbourhood, who always knows what to do, always manages, although her life isn't easy. The girl who never cries. But now she just want to cry and throw away all her worries.
She hears steps behind her, but doesn't move, only still looks blankly ahead.
"Sam?" It's Spencer. He stands above her and looks at her, amazed. "How did you get here?"
"I broke a chain," she replies, shrugging.
"Maybe I'll make a new key for you, it would be cheaper," Spencer mutters and sits down next to her. "You came to Carly? She's not home."
"I... I just came. To think or something," she confesses.
"Is everything okay? You look sad."
"Because I'm sad," Sam says, being a little surprised by herself. She rarely speaks to someone about her feelings, unless it's Carly, and now she's just telling Spencer what she feels. "Damn, what's wrong with me?!" she yells suddenly.
"I don't think something it's wrong with you," Spencer says carefully. As usual he prefers to stand back when he has to mess with an angry woman.
"What a pity that you're the only one," Sam mumbles. "I know I'm mean, agressive and lazy, but does it mean I'll never find a man who will want to bathe me?" She props her chin on her fists gloomily.
"Oh," Spencer utters. "So that's it. Don't worry, Sam, you'll find someone, who-"
"Come on, stop this bullshit," she cuts him off. "Everyone says this same - 'don't worry, Sam, you'll find someone, who will fall in love with you, you will live happily ever after and have five children'. Do you really believe in it?
"No," Spencer admits. "I just wanted to comfort you somehow."
"Fail," Sam says. "Love is a bitch."
Spencer doesn't answer and for a while they both keep silence. Sam feels a little bit better because of telling all. In a certain moment she looks at Spencer sitting next to her; he seems to be wrapped up in his thoughts.
"Hey," she begans uncertainly, "can I ask you something? But... it's something personal."
"Sure, no problem." Spencer shrugs.
"You've been dating heaps of women... Why haven't you gone out with one of them longer than six months?"
Spencer looks at her, surprised and for a moment Sam thinks she shouldn't ask about it. Usually she doesn't care what people would think, but now she feels stupid - it's the one of the few cases, when she regrets what she told. "Sorry, if you don't want to tell me, just-"
"No, it's okay," he throws in. "You know, all of them thought I was irresponsible."
"But you are responsible," Sam says. "Sometimes," she adds, when Spencer looks at her with raised eyebrows. "In my case all of men thought I'm agressive," she states grimly. "It's sad, when people judge you by appearance."
"Yes," Spencer replies. "It's kinda sad."
Irritated Sam is wandering Vancouver streets. She has spent all day, pacing the city she barely knows, looking for Audrey Kayleigh. After arduous searching she finds two Audreys Kayleigh - the first one states she doesn't want buy her stuff, the second one wants to call the police. What a freaks.
In some moment she wants back to Seattle and give up, but her pride doesn't let her stop. It would be a dishonour for her, if she stopped. That's why, despite the sky is getting darker and it starts to rain, she gets on her motorcycle and rides to the last adress received from Freddie.
When she finds the right street, it's 10 p.m. and it's Saturday night, so Sam seriously doubts that someone will open the door. But she thinks she's at a loose end, so she knocks on one of the apartments' door in the block of flats similar to Bushwell Plaza, but a little bit smaller.
To her surprise, the door opens. A blonde woman, a little taller than Sam, with blue eyes and freckles, carefully looks at her behind doors. On first Sam's sight, she seems to be quite attractive.
"Hey," says Sam nervously. "Sorry I'm coming so late, but... are you Audrey? Audrey Kayleigh?"
The blonde frowns. She looks to be irritated and scared at once. "Yes, it's me," she answers after a long while and opens the door a little more. Sam sees a hallway and a piece of living room. "But I'm afraid I don't know you."
"I'm Sam Puckett," she says hastily, reaching her hand out. Audrey shakes it hesitantly. There's something like a scared animal in her moves, but something full of grace and sensivity also. "I guess my name sounds strange for you..."
"That's true," Audrey says.
"I'm Spencer's friend."
"Whose?"
"Spencer Shay's."
On Audrey's face flits a shadow, her face from scared suddenly becomes angry. "I don't know any Spencer Shay, I don't know even any Spencer!" she says and tries to close the door, but Sam puts her foot between door and and a jamb.
"You know him, don't lie!" she yells; who if not Sam can recognize, when someone's lying to her, especially so inefficiently like Audrey. "You know him!"
"Okay, I know him," Audrey admits, sighing slightly, "but I don't want to have anything to do with him."
"Let me tell you few things," Sam begs, feeling that this situation is getting more and more out of control. "You don't know everything. Let's talk, please." Sam feels humiliated that she has to ask anyone for anything, but she know she can't let it go, even if she has to stoop to this level.
Audrey's looking at her for a long while suspiciously and Sam is afraid she would close the door, but finally she let her into apartment, what makes Sam relieved. "Wanna drink something?" Audrey asks, leading Sam to the kitchen.
"I was looking for you all day long, so I'd be very happy to drink some tea, if it's not a problem," says Sam politely and carefully sits down by the table. What the hell is she doing? She sits in a totally foreign woman's flat alone, in Saturday night... She would never muster up to do something like this before.
"Actually, who are you?" Audrey puts a cup of vaporous tea on the table and sits down in front of Sam.
"I'm Spencer's friend... Actually, his younger sister's friend, Carly's... Do you know Carly?" Audrey nods. "See, he has done something very important for me and now I want to requite to him. And I know he really wanted to meet up with you last Saturday..."
"I wanted to meet up with him, too," Audrey says and then she looks away, as she would regret her words. "But suddenly he changed his mind, so I guess he didn't want to see me, as you're saying."
"It's not like this," Sam says frantically. "I'm gonna explain you everything, okay? But at first..."
"At first what?"
"Tell me about him."
"Tell me about her."
Spencer takes his eyes off the motorcycle they're repairing and wonders about the answer. A mysterious smile appears on his face and Sam raises her eyebrows, intrigued.
"She was the most amazing girl on a whole world," he says after a while. "She was intelligent, clever, funny; she had so much advantages I can't count them. Beside it, she was very pretty... You know, when she said 'yes' to my invitation on a date, I felt like after a very long journey I finally came home, get it? I thought she was really a perfect girl for me. And then... then I screwed up everything." He clouds over and backs to work. Sam doesn't say anything for a long moment.
"What exactly did you screw up?" she asks.
"Everything. Just... everything," he answers evasively and Sam doesn't press on him. "If I could... by some miracle, but if I could... even talk to her, it would be the best thing in my life. And if she would like to give me a second chance... Geez, I could even back to this damn Law School."
Sam doesn't respond, surprised by Spencer's exuberance, who usually bottles his feeling up and he, like he's embarassed by speaking about his feelings, backs to repairing a motorcycle.
"He was the funniest and the most creative person I've ever met," Audrey says, stirring a spoon in tea. "Sometimes I was feared of him, but he was so cute and lovely at once, that it was only making me laugh." She smiles at her memories. "At least, it was on the beginning." Suddenly she frowns. "After some time I experienced his irresponsibility and immaturity and I came to the conclusion I couldn't be with that kind of person."
"But you called him again," Sam says.
Audrey shrugs slightly. "Yes, because... I don't know what I expected," she admits. "I wanted to check if he had changed and maybe... maybe..."
"...maybe try once again," finishes Sam and Audrey nods.
"But then he canceled everything, I found out it had no sense and I really don't know why you're here," says Audrey. "After all, he was the one who didn't want to meet up."
"You don't know everything," Sam says firmly. "It's not like that he didn't want to meet up with you. Damn, he really wanted it! He told me that if he ever had an opportunity to talk to you, it would be the best thing in his life!"
Amazed Audrey raises her eyebrows. "So why-"
"It's about Carly," Sam cuts her off. "That Saturday she was going to go on a dance in a military base with her dad, but he didn't manage to arrive, so Spencer decided to take her on that dance, exactly when he had to meet up with you, get it? He wanted to see you, but he's just so good man he couldn't look at his sad little sister!"
"So why didn't he phone me later?" asks Audrey.
"He got terribly sick and moreover apparently you blasted him badly," Sam says and Audrey put her head down. "Listen, you want to see him and he wants to see you, so just say 'yes' and talk to each other!"
"It's not so easy, Sam," replies Audrey carefully, but Sam reacts immediately.
"What's 'not so easy'? It's all trivially easy!" she flares up. "Just be brave and do something, girl!" She barely restrain of grabbing Audrey's arms and shake her up.
"Why do you care so much?" Audrey asks suspiciously.
Sam is baffled. Why does she care so much? Because Spencer gave her the coolest motorcycle ever for free. Because he's her friend and one of the few people, who see a good in her. Because he's the only one adult person she's respectful to. Because she wants to make him 'show that special Spencer's smile'. Because she wants to make him happy.
"I just think he deserves it," she says evasively. "Come on, Audrey... Can't you just try?" she begs with a tired voice.
"Spencer let me down once and that wasn't nice," Audrey says. "I don't want to suffer again..."
"It was few years ago! Sometimes we can give someone a second chance. I know what I'm saying." Sam looks away. She didn't expect earlier that this talk would become so personal for her. "If you never try, you'll never know, if it's worth it. And besides, Audrey... you still like him in this special way, right?" she asks carefully, but she knows she's right. Surprised Audrey looks at her with wide-opened eyes.
"How... how do you know... suppose..." She tries to rig up some sentence.
"If he was so neutral for you, you wouldn't phone him again," Sam states and Audrey put her head down, like a student caught on a cheating. "Admit it - do you still love him?" Audrey doesn't answer, embarassed. Sam looks at the watch on a wall. "I have to go. Please, think about this what I told you and if you make up your mind... just come to the Bushwell Plaza in Seattle, apartment 8-C. It was nice to meet you."
Audrey accompanies her to the exit and then leans against the door, confused by Sam's visit. There are thousands of thoughts and memories in her mind at once, what reminds a speeded movie. She's lost and disoriented, Sam still seems unreal for her.
But she know, what's the answer for Sam's last question.
"You really loved her, huh?" Sam asks in a certain moment and Spencer for a while looks at her, not sure, what's she talking about.
But then he realises and he answers without hesitation. "Yes. She was the only girl I had ever been in love with. And... you know, Sam... I think she's still this girl."
Sam spends all next week in the Bushwell Plaza. The main reason is she doesn't know what to do - her mother still is out of home and Sam becomes be worried slowly - and, besides, being in Carly's room somehow reduces a longing.
And she waits for Audrey. Actually, it's the most important reason, she should put it on the beginning.
She wonders, whether Audrey will give any sign. A week is much or little to decide about come back to loved person? Because Sam is sure that Audrey loves Spencer. She's sure as same as if Spencer loves Audrey.
It seems to be obvious - if two people love each other, why aren't they together? It illogical, contrary to all the rules and for a moment Sam is irritated that they're grown up and still can't talk to each other, but right after she realizes she's still into Freddie and Freddie possibly is still into her. What a hypocrisy.
On Saturday evening, exactly week after meet with Audrey, Sam sits on the couch in the apartment 8-C again. She's alone in the room and she looks at the TV, but she doesn't pay attention to TV broadcast. She hears Spencer getting ready before going to town with Socko.
In a certain moment she hears knocking on the door. She turns her head toward this direction. "Spencer!" she yells. "Somebody's knocking!"
"Answer the door!" comes from the bathroom.
Sam stands up and walks to the door. When she opens it, she feels disbelief and happiness.
Audrey stands in front of her. Wetted, uncertain, hesitant, doubtful, but still Audrey. Sam gives her a sly smile.
"Finally," she says. "I thought you would never come."
"I had to think over few things," Audrey replies quietly. "Is... Is..." she begins, but can't finish the sentence.
"Yes." Sam understands, what's going on. She lets Audrey in. "Come in. Spencer! Someone to you!" she shouts and smiles to Audrey meaningfully, who becomes even more nervous.
Spencer comes out the bathroom with unbuttoned shirt. "I told you, that..." He notices Audrey. Suddenly, his irritation turns into amaze, what astounds him. For a while he stands without any move, looking at Audrey with surprise, and then he buttons his shirt hastily and smooth his hair down nervously. Amused Sam observes Spencer's reaction, barely refraining from laughing.
"Let's you two talk and I... I'll check the fridge," she says, looking at them meaningfully and moves away to the kitchen. She rummages in the fridge, but also furtively looks at Spencer and Audrey, feeling as she would be an adult and they would be a teenagers.
"What are you doing here?"
"Your friend... was at my home. I know about everything and I... I thought that maybe... maybe we could... you know, talk..."
"R-really?"
"Yes, because, you know... This whole thing was a terrible misunderstanding, and I think... I think explaining this is necessary."
"Y-yeah, definitely explaning this is necessary."
"So maybe..."
"Maybe...?"
"Maybe we'll go somewhere, drink something?"
"Sure. I know some nice place with Italian food, could it be?"
"Definitely could be."
"So..."
"So... Are we going?"
"Wait a sec, please."
Sam almost enters to the fridge, trying to pretend she isn't eavesdropping and giggling because of cute and awkward conversation, when Spencer runs up to the kitchen. He grabs Sam's arms and turns her around to him. The girl pretends surprised and Spencer looks at her, like he wouldn't believe what's happening.
"Why? Why would you do it for me?" he asks.
The answer comes to her mind immediately, although there are lots of reasons. She smiles to him in a way, which you can smile only to your best friend, with whom you've got plenty of memories.
"Because you're a great big brother to my best friend. And you have a good heart. And you deserve it."
Spencer looks at her and doesn't understand, but after a while he remembers. He gives her a smile.
"You're amazing," he says quickly and turns around, running back to Audrey. Sam doesn't have to see his face to know, he's smiling widely. A friend's happiness makes her happy too. When Audrey and Spencer leave, leaving her alone - it's nothing new, Sam feels like she would live here, especially after Carly leaving to Italy - suddenly she feels very, very lonely, like just right after Carly left her. For a last week she had a mission keeping her in Seattle, but now... now there's nothing in this city what makes her wanting to stay here.
That's why she know she has to leave. Seattle is not her home anymore.