A/n: I really do like fairy tales and the like far too much. Also I don't own FFXIII. (And seriously, own Lightning and her crew? On the one hand I wouldn't dare, and on the other it would be in very bad taste!)

Storytime

("Gran Pulse is a place of stories," said Vanille one night as the six of them sat round their campfire, the steppe wide and wild about them and the starry sky wider and wilder above.

"I thought it was a place of monsters," said Sazh dryly. "A place of fighting. A 'kill-or-be-killed' place."

"Oh, it's that too," replied Vanille. "But before that and behind that, it's always been about stories. Stories and songs and jokes...We should tell stories, too."

"Tell us one, then," said Hope.

"All right," said Vanille, and began.)

This happened long ago, in the time when humans ruled the fal'Cie and everyone could do magic-

("Now that, that's just silly," interrupted Sazh.

"Yeah," agreed Hope. "There never was a time like that."

Vanille huffed. "Of course there wasn't in the real world, but this isn't a history, it's a story. All stories begin like that."

"Oh," realised Lightning. "It's like 'Once upon a time'."

"Exactly," said Vanille. "Now, anyway-)

This happened long ago, in the time when humans ruled the fal'Cie and everyone could do magic. There was a young man who was good and brave and clever and handsome and strong, and he was just old enough to be married. His name was-

(Vanille looked sideways, mischievously, at her audience)

His name was Hope.

("Hey!" protested Hope, going slightly pink.

Snow grinned. "Kiddo, she's complimenting you. Would you rather she said you weren't clever and handsome and all the rest of it?" He got kicked in the shins.)

Hope was the youngest in a family of six, three sisters and three brothers. All of them loved him very much but they could be a bit overprotective. Whenever Hope tried to court someone, as was proper for a person of his age, all his brothers and sisters would start making a fuss and complaining and saying that the person Hope was wooing wasn't good enough for him. Eventually they all ganged up and told him they'd find a spouse for him.

(Everyone was giggling by now, except Hope, who still looked embarrassed. He folded his arms, looked Vanille right in the face, and demanded, "Was one of his sisters called Vanille?"

"Yes," replied Vanille, her eyes merry. "And she was quite as bad as the rest of them.")

One day Hope's oldest sister came up to him and told him that she'd found a wife for him.

("What was her name?" asked Hope.

"She was called Lightning," said Vanille.

"If she was the oldest, she should have been called Fang," objected Fang.

"But Lightning's the leader!" protested Vanille.

"I am?" Lightning looked a bit startled at the thought.

"She's not the oldest," persisted Fang.

Vanille stuck her tongue out, and said, "All right-")

One day Lightning, who wasn't the oldest of Hope's siblings, but who was the bossiest by far and so was in charge of everything in their family, came up to Hope and said "I've found a wife for you."

(Everyone except Lightning was giggling now.)

"Who is this wife?" asked Hope.

"A bride worthy of you," replied Lightning. "Hope, you will marry the sun."

("Marry the-"

"It's a story," Fang said, interrupting Sazh's interruption. "Anything can happen.")

So Hope's brothers and sisters took him out at sunrise the next day and Lightning called out, "O Sun! My brother Hope is of age to be married-look, you can see how handsome he is, and he's smart and good-natured, too. Will you accept him as your husband?"

The sun blinked in a startled sort of way, not wanting a human husband but not wanting to give offense, either, and asked, "Why do you ask me, O human woman? Surely a human would make a better match?"

"Human girls aren't good enough for him," replied Lightning firmly. "You, O Sun, are the strongest thing in the world-only you are fit to marry my brother."

The sun thought quickly. "The offer is most generous," she replied. "But I'm not the strongest thing in the world. At any moment, a cloud may cover up my face, and I can do nothing to stop that. Wouldn't it be better to marry your brother to a cloud?"

Lightning and the rest of Hope's siblings admitted this was true. So instead, they set out journeying until they found a place where a mighty storm was going on, and Lightning picked out the biggest, blackest, strongest cloud in the storm and shouted out-she had to shout to be heard over the rain and thunder- "O Cloud! This is my brother Hope, who the sun herself is not worthy to marry. But you are the strongest thing of all. Will you accept him as your husband?"

The cloud stopped raining for a moment, he was so surprised-

("He?" yelped Hope.

"Yeah!" chimed in Snow in his defence. "I know this is a story, Vanille, but this is just crazy. Guys can't marry guys!"

Fang snorted; and "That's how much you know!" sang Vanille. "Maybe on Cocoon they can't, but this is Gran Pulse, and we know anyone can marry anyone. If you find that weirder than a person marrying a cloud, then you're just a big silly.")

The cloud was so surprised he stopped raining. He didn't want a human husband any more than the sun did. So, "He's certainly cute," he said, "but I'm not the strongest thing of all. I can cover up the sun, I can fire bullets of rain and daggers of lightning, but look at what the wind can do to me-push me aside without a moment's thought! In my opinion, you should marry your brother to the wind."

So next, Hope's siblings took him to a canyon which the wind howled through, so loud you couldn't hear yourself think, and this time Lightning called, "O Wind! This is my brother Hope, who the sun and the cloud are not fit to marry. As you are the most powerful force of all, he should marry you!"

The wind yelped in alarm. "Oh no no no no no!" she said hurriedly. "I can't possibly marry him. Because...uhhh...I'm not the most powerful force! Yeah!" she said, rallying, "I can blow and blow all I like, but no matter how I try I can't shift the rocks and stones. You should go ask a rock!"

So then they all went to a quarry-

("A what?" asked Hope.

"They were hunting something?" guessed Lightning, looking just as confused.

Vanille and Fang looked confused back at them for a moment; then Fang realised and exclaimed "Gods save us from ignorant Cocoonites!"

"Fang, that's not nice," Vanille scolded gently. "It's not their fault. A quarry," she explained to the rest, "is a big, huge place, a hole in the ground where people dig for stone."

"We didn't have fal'Cie delivering building materials ready-wrapped to us," elaborated Fang. "We had to go out and get stuff from the land ourselves. Same goes for food and water. All of you understand now? Good. Vanille, go on with the story.")

Of course since Hope's siblings had such high standards, the quarry they went to was the one where the very best marble in the land came from-the sort that temples were built out of, or that great artists bought to use for their sculptures. And they spent an awfully long time carefully comparing the rocks there to see which one was the biggest and most impressive. The one they picked was so big that even all six of the siblings couldn't have joined hands around it, and taller than they'd have been if all of them stood on each other's shoulders like acrobats.

Lightning, who was certain she'd found the right spouse for Hope this time, called out, "O Rock! My brother Hope is ready to be married, and we thought you-"

But she didn't get any further. Because Hope had had enough. "Are you crazy?" he yelled at his sister. "I can't marry a rock! I don't want to marry a rock! And I'm fed up of you telling me who I've got to marry! It's not fair! STOP it!"

("Well, I don't know why he didn't say that before," commented Hope, looking slightly mutinous. "It took him long enough. I thought he was meant to be brave and all the rest of it."

Vanille shook her head wisely, and explained, "Hope was brave, but battle bravery is one thing, and talking-to-people bravery is quite another! He just wasn't very good at getting his nerve up to say things to people. But he also had a fierce temper, so once he had managed to speak up, he just about exploded like a bomb, he was so angry."

"I know some people like that," said Snow cheerfully, and got kicked in the shins again.)

"I'm not going to marry a rock or a cloud or the wind or the sun!" shouted Hope. "I don't want to and you can't make me! I want to marry a person!"

"HOPE," returned Lightning in a terrible voice, "you know we agreed you would only marry someone worthy of you, someone stronger than anyone or anything else!"

"We didn't agree, you just told me, and it's not fair-" Hope started to retort, but he was interrupted by a cough.

"Excuse me," said the rock politely. "If it's a matter of a strong spouse for your brother, I believe I have an idea..." He paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "We rocks are certainly sturdy. And the sun, wind and rain can't harm us. But there is one thing that can. Yesterday a young human came to the quarry, a stonecutter who has been employed to create a statue for the city's greatest temple. She decided I was the rock she wanted to sculpt. Tomorrow morning, her servants will come with their adamantortoises, and they will drag me away from here, off to the city. Once I am there the stonecutter will take her chisels and chip and chip away at me, until I look nothing like I do now. And I can do absolutely nothing to stop her. So if you want your brother to marry someone strong, this is my advice. Marry him to the stonecutter, a human like him, because it's you humans that are the strongest things in this world!"

("We're the strongest?" wondered Sazh, looking slightly shocked. "Not the fal'Cie?"

"Ah," said Vanille, "but don't forget, this was in the time when the fal'Cie were ruled by us humans!"

"None of Hope's siblings would have dreamed of marrying him to a fal'Cie," added Fang, eyes glinting wickedly. "That would've been far too downmarket."

"Who's telling this story?" objected Vanille, pretending to pout; and everyone laughed, the Cocoonites a little bit nervously, not quite certain that a fal'Cie wouldn't suddenly appear and strike them down for being so disrespectful. (But one didn't.))

So the siblings camped out in the quarry until the next morning, when the stonecutter came with all her servants and beasts to collect the rock; and when Hope saw her, why, she was so beautiful, with such a clever face and such strength and cunning in her hands, he fell in love with her right then and there. And as soon as she saw him-well, she took one look at his face and fell in love with him too. So they went back to the city together; and they were engaged at once, and married shortly after. Hope's siblings organised the wedding; and it was the biggest, grandest party imaginable, because as you know they weren't a family to do anything by half-measures.

And that is how it all happened, in the time when humans ruled the fal'Cie and everyone could do magic. And if you want any more you must tell it yourself.

("And that's the end," finished Vanille. "Tomorrow one of you can tell a story!"

"Tonight, we ought to be getting to sleep," said Lightning firmly.

Vanille yawned. "Okay."

They settled down on their blankets, under the wide wild sky; except Lightning, who was on first watch, and sat up feeding the fire.

Hope watched the flicker of the flames for a while, and Light's shape dark against them; then he rolled over and whispered to Vanille, "What was her name?"

"Whose name?" Vanille whispered back, drowsily.

"The stonecutter in the story. The girl who Hope married."

"I don't know," said Vanille, and smiled. "Not yet, anyway. We'll all have to wait and find out. Good night!")

-and if you want any more you must tell it yourself-