House was pissed. Cuddy had stopped him for the last time today and he was leaving. He couldn't deal with her or Wilson anymore today. This was the result of a long series of battles between them, starting with trying to end his Vicodin addiction and ending with trying to eliminate his pain with an experimental treatment that he himself suggested. This treatment worked for a month or two, then backfired which left House both depressed and angry with himself and his closest friends. Now he was trying to treat a sick kid and all his tests were being stopped by the boss. This added frustration to his list of problems which in turn added pain to his leg. House finally had had enough and was leaving for the day. He exited through the clinic which wasn't the smartest move but it was the closest route to his car. Cuddy tried to stop him on his way out.
"House, where are you going? It's only 3 o'clock."
"I'm done for the day, going home."
His tone was fierce and Cuddy would have gone after him if his tone wasn't saying, "stay the hell away, I'm not in a good mood." Cuddy had seen him upset but not like this, not for a long time. She decided to talk with James before approaching House again. Maybe he had talked with House and would know what he was all upset about.
"James, House just left."
"He did?"
"Yeah, said he was done for the day and left. His tone suggested steering clear so that's what I'm doing. Do you know anything about this?"
"No, he and I didn't talk too much today. Both of us have been pretty busy. He did stop by once or twice today, how's his case going?"
"Ok I guess. He wanted to do way too many tests, I had to turn him down on a lot of them; the kid's only six, he can't handle an upper GI and a spinal in one day two hours apart."
"Yeah, but he thought they were necessary, maybe they were if he's angry enough to leave about it."
"Don't know, but he's gone now. I'll try to talk to him later, you are busy I'll let you get back to work."
"Ok, I'll try to call him later. Thanks for the info."
Lisa wasn't sure what she was going to do, but she thought that after work she might stop by to see how he was doing. Maybe he just needed to know that someone was there for him, Wilson was busy after all.
House got into his car, turned off his cell phone and threw it into the passenger seat. He knew that the team, Wilson, or Cuddy would try to call and he wasn't dealing with them now. He searched through some CDs that were lying around the car until he found the one he wanted. He put it in the CD player, turned it up loud enough to drown out all of his thoughts and drove away a little faster than necessary. He just wanted to get away, he loved the medicine but he hated people at times. He was fully overwhelmed, which it takes a lot of stress before House is overwhelmed. Part of his problem was that his leg was getting worse and he was having more and more difficulty hiding the increased pain. He took two Vicodin on his way into the house. Once inside he threw his bag and coat on the floor and made his way to the kitchen. He opened the fridge, took two beers out and set them on the coffee table in the living room. He opened one and drank as he lay on the couch. For the next half an hour he just laid there, drinking his beer and trying not to completely break down. House could deal with stress well, but when his stress was too much he didn't know how to react. Today he did well in getting himself out of the situation before he broke down, but some days he could get violent or emotional and neither of those is ideal for the workplace. While on the couch with his thoughts he tried to erase his mind and just try lying there, his mind was so flooded right then that he couldn't erase it all. He decided to open another beer considering he had finished off both in the half an hour of couch time. After retrieving the third beer he made his way to the piano.
While he was on the couch a song kept coming to mind. "Behind Blue Eyes" by the Who. He had always loved The Who and this song expressed everything that he was feeling at that moment.
No one knows what its like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what its like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
All the lyrics made sense in House's mind. He had to hide how he felt about everything and he couldn't open up to anyone, not even Wilson. Wilson would always overreact when ever he brought up something. Not having anyone to open up to was tearing House up inside and was causing major stress. He was stressed about his leg and having to juggle work and being lonely and having to hide everything. Playing the piano helped to open up and release his feelings, but not as much as talking to someone would. As he was playing and thinking about how he truly felt he closed his eyes and let the music devour him. He played over and over until he lost track of time and was transported into the music, he didn't even hear a knock at the door the door even opening like it did. Between the three beers and the music House was somewhere else, he wasn't mentally in his apartment, but physically he was in his house with his piano and Cuddy had just let herself in.