AN: This is the famous scene where Severus kills Dumbledore up on the Astronomy Tower only with a Snarry context (meaning Severus x Harry). It's written after the movie version.

What does Severus Snape think when he kills his mentor? How does he feel when he betrays his love?

What does Harry think? And how does he feels in the moments of this murder?

Enjoy.

Pay the price

*Come undone, surrender is stronger
I don't need to be the hero tonight
We all want love, we all want honor
Nobody wants to pay the asking price*

"Good evening Draco" greeted Dumbledore his student who stood in front of him with aimed wand in a calm manner.

What was happening there? Harry kept asking himself. Everything went so damn quick. First this unreal cavern. Inferi, something Harry had never heard of before and Dumbledore not strong like always but so weak.
He had hoped that back in Hogwarts, their home, everything would be better but no, it wasn't.

Severus. He had to get Severus, Dumbledore had asked him to. He would need him but not the headmaster alone. Harry needed the man just as much. All he wanted to do was hide himself with Severus till this madness ended. Press his face to the strong chest of his boyfriend. Inhale this unbelievably addictive smell and never think about this again. But he couldn't move.

While he thought all that, the two above him had continued talking and finally he shook off the shock and walked but wait, this was the wrong direction. He should walk into the dungeons to Severus like he was asked to do, not walk closer to get a better look at the scene above!

"Draco, you are no assassin" the old man assured the boy.
What was Draco up to? He was nervous, you could see it. Through the whole conversation his voice was as shaky as his hand. Then Harry heard steps, he would defend Dumbledore if he had to.
Malfoy seemed frightened. He was the one with the wand, why was he so frightened?

But then Draco's rearguard came into view. They waited for the young Slytherin to fulfill his task, whatever that was.

Killing Dumbledore, Malfoy just said it. No, that couldn't be! Someone must come, must notice that they weren't back. They… they just had to!
Bellatrix Lesstrange and Fenrir Greyback. Now Harry had a really hard time staying where he was. This woman killed Sirius.

"Well done Draco" the insane praised her nephew and talked with Dumbledore like they agreed to meet for tea up here.
"Do it!" she piqued and you could see that Malfoy didn't like it. How much he wanted to be somewhere else, literally anywhere but here.
His wand pointing at Draco and Bellatrix, Harry heard quiet steps behind him and turned around. Ready to disarm whoever it was.

He had to force himself to stay silent when he saw Severus. Finally, now everything would be fine. His wand in hand the Potions Master came to him.
Harry was about to say something when Severus laid a finger to Harrys lips and effectively silenced him.
Looking at Severus Harry let lowered his wand. Never before had he been so glad to see this man.

"Severus" he whispered.
"Harry" he answered but sounded so sad, so unbelievably sad that Harry had problems breathing. Severus laid his hand on Harry's cheek and stroked him gently. As if he wanted to memorize every millimeter. For a second Harry thought the warm hands shivered but that couldn't be. The man had always steady hands not matter what, out of necessity for his job. Always steady and warm.

He leaned in and kissed the boy with a passion that Harry hadn't known before. Desperate, fearful and final was this kiss, but also so full of love that it frightened Harry.
What was happening here?

Harry wanted to kiss back but never got the chance for Severus already leaned back and looked at him. Right into his green eyes. This look was so unfamiliar, so full of emotions. It was scary.
Infinite love was what he saw. The kind of love that takes your breath away and makes your heart heavy, too heavy to beat.
Gratefulness was what he saw. That kind of gratefulness a human showed when he visits a sacred place, a temple, for the first time. When he saw something from such celestial beauty that it exposed his very soul and changed him forever.

Hate was what he saw. The kind of hate which was so all-encompassing, so final and so big that it turned your blood into ice and destruction was his only companion. The hate of the weak that could bring tyrants to fall.
A liability was what he saw. The kind of liability that sucked everything in and showed no mercy. No matter how broken, bloody and powerless you are… she dragged you away and demanded and took without giving. Harry knew that kind of liability.
A destiny, a secret so dark and deep.
And ruefulness was what Harry saw. That kind of ruefulness that brought a bitter after taste with it. Remorse out of the knowledge you're doing something wrong but don't have a choice.

Were that really tears that Harry saw there? Severus Snape didn't cry…
The Gryffindor had gotten to know this man as a strong person. Someone who doesn't back away because of danger and darkness. A man with a strength unseen by the people but who didn't care about that.
But Severus Snape was not a man to just cry. Never had Harry thought he would see it. It took a lot to push Severus this far and exactly that was it what worried Harry more and more.

Yes, there were tears watering this black depths and Severus forbid them to fall.
"My little lion… I love you. Never forget that!" he asked and promised. His rich voice heavy and calm. Silent. It was never good when Severus became this silent and calm.
Then he went upstairs past him to meet Bellatrix still trying to instigate Draco.

"Come ooon Draco!" she nearly yelled but then Severus stepped into the scene.
"No" sounded Severus deep smooth voice and Draco nearly collapsed out of relief. He lowered his wand.

Nothing spoke of the sadness, yes, almost fear that Harry had seen and heard seconds ago from his partner. What was wrong with the man? Something wasn't right at all and it gave Harry an ungood felling. Severus was always strong and knew what to do. He stood beside him, helped him, rescued him, was reliable.
He did everything for Harry just like Harry would do everything for him.

There was hesitation within his steps but you would only see it if you knew the man like Harry did. Apparently Dumbledore noticed it too because he gave Harry a glance which seemed to say 'stay where you are'.

"Severus…" said the headmaster clear but Harry didn't understand what this tune wanted to tell. It was… kind of sad.
The Deatheaters eyed Severus skeptically. Of course, this was a fucked up situation for his lover. On the one side be faithful to Dumbledore, playing the Deatheater on the other.
"…Please" finished the old wizard his sentence and then Harry began to understand and he felt like someone purred a bucket with ice water into his stomach. This wasn't real. This was not happening right now!

Dumbledore begged Severus for his life.

Severus pointed his wand with one fluent motion at his mentor.
No. No, no, no, no, no… NO!
Harry saw the brief seconds of hesitation but only he did. He knew this man trough and trough. He loved this man. The love of his life, he wouldn't do this. There was no way he could kill their mentor.

"Avada Kedavra" Severus said without emotions and a green light broke from the tip of his wand and hit right into the old headmaster's chest.

Dumbledore fell.
Dumbledore was dead.
It was like Hogwarts itself died. It felt like it did.

Harry's brain couldn't work with the information it kept getting. This didn't just happen! Please, anyone, this couldn't have happened.
If he had been able to look at something different than the spot where Dumbledore had stood, he would've seen the shock on Severus face. He couldn't believe that he really did it either.
Killed his mentor, cold blooded and what was so much, much worse than everything else, he broke Harry's heart and betrayed him. The love of his life he had found in the small savior, he betrayed him just like that.

To get your very heart ripped out of your chest must feel like this, Harry thought by himself. He felt sick and tears rolled down his face. His chest was in flames of pain.
No, he didn't want to believe it.

Harry hurried, the Deatheaters already disappeared. They fled. Cowards! He would not let them get away with this!
Rage was mixed into his cocktail of emotions as he wiped the tears away.

"SNAPE… He trusted you" Harry screamed to the man and made him stop. Bellatrix set Hagrid's hut on flames and Harry prayed that neither the man nor his dog were in there.

Severus bit his tongue so he wouldn't shout back. How much he wanted to shout 'I never betrayed him!' but he kept silent. Nobody could know.

Harry heard Draco being sent away along with the other Deatheaters.

"Incarcerus" he screamed again but it was easy for the Potions Master to block the curse. Of course it was, Severus was an outstanding duelist. But he did nothing to defend himself. He could beat Harry without even break into a sweat, yet he did nothing but standing there and looking at him. Like an empty shell the man stood there. Harry didn't see that, his vision clouded by the anger and sadness he felt.

What Harry didn't know was that the heart of his teacher was as heavy as his own. Seeing Harry so angry at him really hurt. It hurt so overwhelmingly much. He hated himself for what he did up at the Astronomy tower.

"Fight back! You coward fight back!" the Gryffindor demanded but Severus still did nothing.

Only when Bellatrix attacked him he intervened. He couldn't let Harry get hurt. Even if the boy hated him. He loved Harry.
That his Gryffindor belonged to the Dark Lord was an excuse. Severus would rather let his old Master kill him than have to life without Harry, but he couldn't. He had to fulfill his task so one day Harry could live in peace. Just like he deserved.

He stepped to Harry's side, wanted to make sure his Lion was all right.
"Sectumsempra!" he heard it and it felt like Harry hit his heart with the curse. It was a cruel spell and showed how much Harry hated him.
"You dare use my own spells against me, Harry?… Yes, I'm the Half Blood Prince" his voice sounded tired, he tried not to sound hurt.

Harry breathed shakily and now he saw the tears in those beautiful eyes, his little lion stubbornly would not allow them to fall in front of him. He was so strong and Severus so proud of Harry.
With every bit of power he could summon Severus swallowed his own tears. He couldn't. Harry could not see him like that. His lion was much safer when he hated him.
That it broke his own fragile heart didn't matter. He was not important but Harry was.
"I'm sorry" he said although he knew that the words wouldn't change anything. He had his chance. Had his little moment of happiness but ruined it once and for all. Ruined it for the greater good and hated himself for doing it.

The Potions Master kneeled down and kissed Harry, one last time, on the forehead. But Harry pushed him away.

Harry would've sworn the green scull which hung above the school was mocking him.

THE END

*FFH – Undone