Missing scene from John's dream in Doppelganger
"This is all your fault John." Teyla said, the venom and anger dripping from her voice.
"If you hadn't touched that stupid rock McKay would still be alive right now." Ronon loomed out of the darkness and stood there, accusing him, violence and rage steaming out of every pore of his skin.
"I thought you were going to help him?" Carter said, the disappointment and anger clear in her voice.
"I tried." John said, feebly, trying to hide the guilt that was always within him, the guilt of the lives he had failed. It was threatening to overwhelm him, as the burden of his dead best friend weighed heavily on his shoulders. He knew he was responsible for all of this, for all these deaths and all of the ones before this incidence.
"Some friend you are." Dr Keller spat at him, her grief and frustration cutting into him in a way he didn't expect, having not known her for long.
Their accusations hurt, bringing to the surface the grief he always felt, over the deaths of Beckett, McKay, Heightmeyer, the loss of Aiden and so many others. He felt like he was being crushed under the weight of their losses, feeling so responsible.
"John."
And there it was, a voice behind him that crushed him, the voice that broke his heart. He spun around, and there she was.
Elizabeth, standing behind him, blood dripping all over her. She stretched out her hands towards him, pleading, and her blood splattered across the floor.
"John. You killed me too."
"No, I didn't, I did everything I could." He pleaded with her, reaching out for her. He missed her like crazy, missed simply seeing her, making her laugh, watching her work and taking her to lunch. He thought about her all the time, wondering what she would do, what she would say in a certain situation and what she would say that would make everything better. The guilt he felt over her capture by the replicators gripped him every minute of every day.
"John, you killed me. You shouldn't have let me be taken. You promised you'd never leave me or any man behind, but you did. You left me behind, John." A single tear trickled down John's cheek, but he didn't notice.
His doppelganger came out of nowhere and grabbed her around the waist, and plunged a knife into her neck. Blood poured out of the wound and pain flooded over Elizabeth's face. He jerked the knife out violently, and more blood gushed out of the wound, flooding over the floor.
"John . . ." She whispered, her arms outstretched to him. He rushed to her side, his hands pressing against her wound, trying to stem the bleeding, but her eyes had gone glassy, lifeless.
"Elizabeth . . ." There was no point, she was dead, and once again it was his fault. He looked up to see his doppelganger lingering by the wall, watching the pair with malice and pride.
"Son of a bitch." John launched himself at his twin, carrying him through the wall.
AfterTheFight
"Ok, this is really weird." McKay said, looking around the gate room of Atlantis in John's dream world.
"You're telling me."
"I thought there would be more hot girls." McKay kept looking around, hopefully, looking for what he expected in John's dreams.
"Yeah." John said, looking bewildered and still trying to catch his breath.
"Huh. I guess you're only interested in one these days." McKay said, a small and understanding smile on his face. John looked at him, confused. McKay pointed up to the balcony overlooking the gate room.
Elizabeth stood there, her elbows resting on the railing. She looked incredible, in a shimmering red dress that clung to every part of her body. The dress sparkled and shone every time she moved, and her face lit up as she smiled down at John. He was only remotely aware of McKay moving away and disappearing from his dreamworld as he made his way up the stairs, his eyes never leaving Elizabeth, afraid that if he even blinked she'd be gone.