Hey guys! So for those of you who read my other stories and wondering why AGAIN it is taking me so long to update, it is because my internet has been down and I have been grounded. Sorry for my upload length. AND I don't really remember where I left off with my other stories because they were deleted off my old computer, but I have a new laptop! WOO! But again, I will update as soon as my internet comes back on for the other stories, until then here is this new stories I wrote because I was bored and had nothing better to do while my internet is down! :)

Sierra

This story is a Victorious story. Beck and Jade are the main characters!

The main points of the story (so you know if you are interested in these kind of stories) are:

Cutting

Hurt/comfort

Broken Heart

Eating Disorder

Seriously guys, I don't know how into detail I will get, but this is the things in my life that I do/did, and if you guys don't like these types of stories, please don't read! I really wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings! D:

Sorry for the long intro!

Jade's POV

I watched him come closer to me. My heart felt warm.

Unusual.

"Beck." I whispered into his ears.

"Jade." He whispered back into mine. His dark hair fell over his face as he looked down at his hands.

Something was wrong.

"Jade, I have to tell you something." His face is always so hard to read. Is this good? Or is this bad? Because I had the strongest feeling this wouldn't turn out well.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked. My face grew worried. My heart beat faster. Was this the end?

"Jade, I have to move. I am leaving 'Hollywood Arts' to go live in Chicago."

My eyes grew red. Tears slid down my face like an open slope.

"What? You are leaving? You are leaving me?" He avoided my eyes as I asked. I saw a rim of water build up in his eyes.

He wasn't the emotional type, ever.

We were just sitting in the RV. I thought I loved him. Now I will never really know.

"Jade, look. It's for the best. My family is all moving out there. I don't have anywhere to put my RV and plus it's my family. I have to be with them. You understand. Don't you?" I felt anger build up inside of myself. I felt all of the pain sit in my stomach.

"No beck! I don't understand! I am your girlfriend! You are just going to up and leave me!" I yelled at him. I did understand. Family is family. But I was so angry I was loosing the only person left in my life.

"Jade. You used to be my girlfriend." He responded harshly.

"Beck. No. Please. We can make it work. Long distance, anything! I don't care. I will come with you! Beck, please don't do this." I cried brushing the black makeup from my face. Trying to push myself to him, but he held me back.

"Jade, I am sorry." he made his way to his door and opened it. "I think it is time for you to go." I held my upcoming tears and ran out the door.

I made my way home. My ugly home. With ugly people living inside. Ugly souls they are.

Am I really unable to be loved?

My dad. He hates me. Now Beck. Everyone. Everyone is leaving me!

I run into the back of my house and climb into my window of my bedroom. I quietly turn on my dim lamp in the far corner of my room. I look into the mirror. But the thing that shows is a monster. Scary, horrible looking thing staring at me. Complete horror grew on both mine, and the monsters face.

I hear it. I hear the loud thumps of footsteps coming up the stairs.

"No." I whisper to myself. "Please not right now." I again whisper to myself, while pressing myself against the wall waiting for my door to fly open and the monster to walk in. The monster was about 6'2, thin, but strong. He is able to take down anything, with one swing. I would know. I can feel each step vibrate on the ground.

Thump, thump, thump.

Pressing my self to the floor, my knees to my chest I wanted to hide. I wanted to die. My door flings open, and he shows himself. Though I can't see his face because of the faint shadows. But there is no way to mistake anyone else. The monster is my father. He was standing at my door ready to hurt me. I was out for to long. I shouldn't have left. I just figured with all of the beers going into his body he wouldn't be awake for long, and wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. But I guess I was wrong. He always ends up finding out what I do, even if he doesn't. I always get beaten.

I saw his body come towards mine, and with one swift kick to the side of my face, I was out cold.

Flashback

"Daddy! Please stop it!" I cried. He plugged the small gun into the wall and attached the white tube. He didn't answer me. "Daddy! What are you doing?" He picked up the gun after a couple of minuets and yanked out my hands. With a handful, not a inch missing, of this really hot glue He stuck both of my hands to the wall, fore feet above where I could reach the ground.

I was only five.

"Daddy!" I cried out. I was chocking on my own tears. I felt his belt hit on my body. My back, my legs. Everywhere. I soon later felt his fist beat against me. Pulling my hair back away from the wall where my hands stayed attached to. They were not coming off anytime soon. I cried for hours after he left me, silently.

"Daddy please let me down." I said as he walked by me.

No words came out of his mouth.

"Daddy, please love me again." His face just grew angry and his hands became fist again, and continued to beat on me.

"You are nothing, NOTHING, more then my pain reliever. You got that?" He yelled into my ear.

Flashback over

I woke up with no one there. The clock read 3:34a.m. on Friday. Today is Becks last day at Hollywood Arts. After today I have nothing to go to school for, or to go home to. So I have nothing. Nothing at all. I got up and walked to my mirror. Again the monster watched me, but this time the monster had half of a bloody face and a black eye. I quickly took out my rags in my dresser drawer and washed the blood off my face. There was a big slit in my head, right above my left eye. Along with my black eye, on the left. But the right side of my face, its normal. Its ugly, and fat. Just like always.

When I got to school, my black regular clothes were covering my body, along with my foundation to cover my face. But no matter how much foundation I put on my eye, it wouldn't cover, and neither would my scar. Nothing would cover. But I tried, for a really long time.

Tori stood at her locker, putting in some books and taking some out. Even though I 'don't like her' I do like her. I think the only reason I don't like her is because I envy her. I envy everything about her. She is skinny, beautiful, good at singing, talented at really everything! Also she is really good at making friends, and I am opposite.

No wonder Beck wanted to get away from me. I just thought when he said that he would be here for me forever, he meant it. But he didn't obviously. I wonder why. Why he told me at last minuet. Did he know all along? Stringing my heart with him till he could make me fall the farthest? I never thought Beck was like that. He doesn't know about my family. About my dad. About what happened to my mom. Nothing. I was going to tell him, when it was time. The timer just never goes off, especially now. There is no time left, yet all the time in the world.

I don't want to loose Beck. I don't want to loose the only good thing that is in my life. I have this school, but I am just the stupid goth girl without Beck. Beck makes me happy. Unlike all the other people in this school. They do, sometimes, but no like how Beck does it. So it doesn't count.

While I was day dreaming, Tori was standing around me with a worried face.

"JADE! Whats wrong!" She screamed quietly. I quickly fell back to earth.

"Oh, Um, nothing. Sorry. Just a little tired." I responded and her reaction was confusing because she was confused about what I was talking about.

"Not that Jade. What happened to your eye? And what is that scar? Jade are you okay?" She asked. Even though she wasn't my 'friend' (so she thought, because I considered her as one) she still cared to ask. No one should care about me.

"Oh, I fell down. Not a big deal." I replied. Little did she know, under this long sleeve black denim shirt, was hand prints bruised into both of my arms, right below the shoulder from where my dad had held me down.

Then I saw him. I saw Beck. He was at his locker, turned around and saw me. Saw my face. His face was worried, and he quickly came to me.

"Jade? What happened to you?" I rolled my eyes at his kindness.

"Why do you care? I'm not your girlfriend anymore Beck!" I yelled at him, when tears started to roll down my face. I ran to the bathroom and threw my bag into the sink and pulled out my knife. My sharp, tiny, pocket knife.

I pulled up my sleeves. My wrist were already covered with scars. Its the only place that I cut. Maybe I should start somewhere else. Like my legs, I heard that people who cut, cut there. Even when I cut, I don't get the satisfaction that I want. I don't get the pain that I want. I mean the pain I get is what I want, but not enough, so I have to do it again, and again, and again, and again, it never ends. I don't know when it will. Honestly, I don't want it to. I want to be able to keep this. Its all I have right now. I need more. I need more pain. I need more to sacrifice. Not just my blood. But what else?

While I was thinking I pushed the knife down at the edge of my wrist and slit across it as fast as I could. Deep. Maybe to deep. But I did it again. The pain was horrid. But I liked it. I watched the blood flow out.

What else is there to offer to the world that I don't deserve.

Then I got it, as the blood was running from my wrist.

Food. I am fat, I can become skinny by not eating! This is perfect! All the fat will just start jumping off of me. It will take a really long time to get all of the fat off of me.

I quickly took out a bandage from my bag and wrapped my arm in it, and ran out of the bathroom. Beck stood outside of the bathroom waiting for me.

"I heard you crying. Whats going on? Is this because I am moving?" He asked while holding onto my arm. Right where I cut too. It hurt. But I liked it. Squeeze harder Beck! Go ahead!

"Not everything in my life is about you!" Yes it is. I just started to cry inside now.

"I didn't mean it like that Jade. I mean... Why are you crying?" He asked me, still holding on to my arm.

"Again Beck! Why would you care? You're not my boyfriend anymore!" I again, snatching my arm from his hand and starting pacing to my class. But he rushed to me and again held my arm.

"Beck stop! I need to get to class! I will be late!" But then the world went black around me. I just felt my body go numb. I heard nothing, I saw nothing, I felt... nothing. Is this what it feels like to be dead? Because if it is... this is where I want to be.

Dead.

Beck's POV

I grabbed Jades wrist to pull her back to me. She must have some sort of covering over her arms, maybe a undershirt, because there was coating between her shirt that touched my hand, and her skin. She kinda flinched every time I would, but its just her being over dramatic.

"Beck Stop! I need to get to class! I will be late!" She yelled at me, her face angry. But that angry face quickly turned blank, and she passed out onto the ground. I don't know what happened, but I quickly called for help. Some random teacher out of a closest classroom came out and helped me bring Jade up to the office while the ambulance rushed to the school.

But I wasn't able to go to the hospital with her, I had to get home so I could leave. So while the nurses wheeled her away on the gurney, I held her hand and I talked to her for one last time.

"I love you Jade. I always will. Stay safe, feel better too. Goodbye Jade." I kissed her on the cheek then they loaded her on to ambulance while I loaded myself into my car and drove to my house.

My family threw bags beyond bags in both their truck, and the storage unit attached to the back of their car, and in my car. I was going to drive on my own, behind them for now. I threw the last of the bags in my back seat. I said goodbye to the house that they lived in, and goodbye to my RV. My parents said they would buy me a new one when we got to Chicago. My parents actually respect my decision with me wanting to live on my own (sorta) so young. "Taking responsibility." is what they say.

I am going to miss Hollywood. Hollywood arts, my friends... Jade. Her smile, her laugh, everything. Even though I will miss her, she wont miss me. Something else is going on in her life right now obviously that she doesn't want me to know about. I should have fought harder to figure out what happened to her! She had a scar on the side of her face and a black eye! She was crying in the bathroom. She actually was always randomly running into the bathroom. I always teased her that she had a small bladder, but maybe she just cried all the time. Highly doubtful, but I don't know really with Jade. She was very specific about what she told me and what she kept to herself.

I don't know.

I just thought that I loved her.

But honestly.. I am not to sure.

Jade's POV

Beck, don't go. Don't go. Don't go.

"DON'T GO!" I flung my head up screaming 'don't go'. I was dreaming about Beck. 3:26p.m. He was gone by now.

What even happened? Where am I? I spotted all of the needles hooked to my arms.

The hospital. Okay, but what happened? I just remember fainting. I looked down.

My arms. My arms were uncovered and had different bandages on it. A young male nurse walked in.

"Jade West?" He asked looking down at a clipboard. I nodded my head.

"Hey. Would you like to explain to me what happened?" He asked curious.

"Um. I don't really remember. I got out of the bathroom an-" He cut me off

"From doing what?" He pulled up a stool and got to the side of my bed.

"Um, that's a little personal, isn't it?" I laughed. Was he asking if I cut myself?

"Jade, did you go to the bathroom? Like actually? Like what you are suppose to do in a bathroom. You k-"

"I get it. Yes I did." I lied. He rolled his eyes secretly and nodded his head.

"Okay. Then what?"

"Okay I got out of the bathroom and my boy... my ex boyfriend asked me what was wrong, I don't know why (again I lied) and then I just fainted. I don't know why I fainted, I just did. I don't remember anything after that."

"Well I can tell you what I think that happened. I might be new to this whole nursing thing, but I have a pretty good idea what is going on here when the facts are right in front of everyone's face. I think you ran to the bathroom after you and your boyfriend/ex boyfriend what ever you want to call him, maybe you guys broke up recently, I don't know that part. BUT, I think you ran to the bathroom upset, pulled out your little pocket knife..." He held up my knife. They went through my purse! "and you cut your wrist open. But I have some questions. Like where did the black eye come from. And why would a young girl, like yourself, want to cut herself? And it obviously wasn't the first time. So Jade... tell me. What is it that makes you cut?" My family... My dad... Myself.

"No one." Damn it.

"No one? I didn't ask that. But now I know it is someone. Who is it? A friend? Your brother? Do you have a brother? A sister maybe?" I used to.. before she died.

"No."

"Then who?" He was interrogating me. He was making me feel uncomfortable. But this is the first person who knew that I cut, other then myself, and he was acting like he was 'trying' to help. That wasn't going to work. And they couldn't put me into a mental hospital without parents consent. And my father would NEVER sign for it. The first thing he would do that I want.

"Why did I pass out?"

"Loss of blood. When you cut your wrist Jade." I rolled my eyes.

"Well I am good to go then, feeling fine. Thanks for the time and the help, but I am going home."

"How? Your mom or dad wouldn't answer any phones."

"How did you get there numbers?"

"Um.." He flipped some papers up on the clipboard. "Beck Oliver." He smiled. "So your ex."

"Bye." I pulled out the IV's stuck into my arm, put on my shoes, grabbed my purse and my knife and started out the door.

"Jade! I don't think you should leave! The doctor hasn't even come to see you yet!"

"That's okay! I am fine! I am going home!" I rushed out of the front doors of the hospital and started to run down the street, pulling out my phone for a cab. But before I could even start dialing I saw Tori standing there with a cab waiting for me to get in.

"Thanks Tori." Great Tori gets to see me cry.

"Jade... I wont tell anyone." I was confused. Did they seriously tell Tori that I was cutting myself? That would be stupid. I don't even think that is allowed. "You know.. that Beck broke up with you."

"Oh! Thanks Tori! I am going to kinda just play it off. I mean, its going to hurt for awhile, but I will get over it. Its not like he was my first love or anything." Then I started crying. "But he was my first love."

Tori hugged me as the cab driver drove to Tori's house.

"Wanna come in for some foreign hot chocolate?" I smiled and chuckled.

"Sure, that sounds nice." We both got out of the cab, I started to turn around and was about to pay for the cab when Tori went ahead and did it.

"Tori I could ha-"

"Don't worry about it." She smiled and opened her front door to expose her large, beautiful house. The perfect house.. unlike mine.

"Sit down where you would like, its a free sitting zone." I laughed. Oh yeah, add funny to that list of things that Tori is perfect at.

Tori ran to the kitchen and started to make the cocoa. I just sat there on the couch 'calm'. Trying so, so hard not to cry. But that didn't last long. Tori walked into the room.

"Jade, you can cry if you want. I really don't mind. I am here to listen if you want me to." I started crying.

But Little did Tori know, I wasn't just crying about Beck. I was crying about my mom... and my dad... everything.

I am crying about my life.

Thanks everyone for reading my new story! :D I hope that you liked it! Again if you read my other stories the next chapters to all/most of them should be up tonight!

Please Review! I hope to get some or else I wont update a bad story D: So tell me if you like it by reviewing! :D

Thanks everyone!

Sierra