Oh, Hector, Oh, Achilles

Crackfic written for my own amusement

Also known as Of Papa, Fan Fiction, and Greek Legends

Or, Oh, Great Warrior Achilles' Adventures with the Internet

Ah, our setting is the ever-cheerful Underworld, where Papa has, kindly enough, allowed Achilles to borrow his computer. The grand ole Greek still hasn't figured out the webcam and as Papa is busy decorating the place with some decorative skulls and jars of human entrails, he knows better than to ask for help. Bothering an inspired Papa immersed in interior decorating is definitely the bad side of suicide.

A few clicks and Achilles the Great has logged on and located Papa's favorites list.

Though tempted to ask what "Seductive Embrace," is and what Papa is doing favoriting it, Achilles refrains and positions the mysterious cursor over the link. Window by window, Achilles finds himself lost in the red.

Papa removes himself from his home furnishing long enough to suggest checking out the mythology section, and is promptly back in his craft corner, painting rather suggestive doodles on skulls that were merely laying around.

Achilles shakes his head at the other's antics and turns back to the screen to read down the page. A peculiar sign catches his attention: OTHER VER. IN TROY FANDOM.

Curious, as always, Achilles finds his way to this "Troy Fandom," and is surprised to see...

First on the list boldly emblazoned HECTOR/ACHILLES.

Achilles' eye seems to have adapted a tic. Papa stares at it for a moment, but the warrior gives him a withering glare and he goes back to sulk in his corner.

Clicking on the offending link, Achilles is surprised when a new sign pops up.

HAHA YOU IDIOT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ACTUALLY WRITE A GAY----

Close window.

Well. That was disturbing.

The worst part was that Achilles wasn't even worried about being represented as homosexual--his main concern was that he wasn't mentioned first. "I am NOT going to be some Trojan's little bitch---!"

--theend--

Something extra the idea of which is not mine, thank you Scottie:

Papa throws a half-painted skull at Achilles' "butt-faced" head, and Achilles' face went straight into the computer screen, shattering it and giving said warrior a major headache. The webcam was also destroyed, meaning that though we saw fragments of the recounted, one cannot be completely sure.