A is for Apple (Jed Bartlet / Mrs Landingham)
Apples & Cookies
It was usual, at least once a day, for Mrs Landingham to offer the President a piece of fruit from the bowl that sat on her desk. He would have preferred one of her cookies, she knew that, but she also knew the importance of getting your five a day, and no one needed the five a day more than the President of the United States of America did. And so, this particular day was no different. He sauntered in, eyeing up the cookie jar like the spoilt child that he was, and yet, she held firm, looked him straight in the eye and...
"Would you like an apple Sir?"
He grimaced. He definitely grimaced. But then, his eyes twinkled, the joyful twinkle that they had a tendency to exhibit when he was about to bore the concrete pants off of someone.
"You know something Mrs Landingham?
No. She didn't. But she suspected she was about to find out.
The President picked up an apple from the bowl, then spoke again, ""If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple."
Mrs Landingham groaned inwardly. He was obviously feeling philosophical today, but she was sure as hell she had no idea what he was talking about. Not that he was done anyway.
"But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas." He finished with flourish and smiled at her, "Do you know who said that?"
She pretended to give it some thought, although she'd had her answer ready for some time; a name plucked from the multitude that the other, less mature assistants talked about on a regular basis, "Was it George Clooney Sir?"
"Ha!" The President clicked his fingers, "Close but no cigar. It was George Bernard Shaw. And do you know what George Bernard Shaw said about cookies?"
"No Sir, what did George Bernard Shaw say about cookies?" The words tripped off of her tongue without thinking, it was habit humouring him like this, a dance of habit that they danced what felt like several times a day.
Again he smiled, "He said if the President wants a cookie you should let him have a cookie." He made a swift move for the cookie jar, but Mrs Landingham was faster and had it out of his reach before he even came close. She clutched the jar to her chest protectively before looking up at him once more and giving him sass as only she could.
"And you know what I say Mr President? If you've touched the apple you eat the apple." she nodded in the direction of the apple he was still holding in his hand, "No cookies for you, you'll spoil your lunch."