Author's Note: In case you're wondering what kind of title this is supposed to be, it's a combination of two words, "imbecile" meaning "very foolish or stupid" and docile meaning "obedient", at least according to my dictionary. This is quite long for a one shot, but I felt all the words had to stay together as one chapter and not be separated into some two shot or three shot or whatever. Never have I written such a long oneshot in my life.
Imbedocile
Written by Underwaterwriter
As he struggled in getting past the long thin branches that blocked his way, Tuffnut Thornston finally decided that it would be better to use his newly sharpened axe to chop his way past the great mess that interfered with his path. As he aggressively sliced through the tangled twigs, the scattered debris dissolved into the soft wet ground, finally clearing the pathway for the teenage Viking to dash through.
"At last," Tuffnut sighed aloud, inhaling yet another daily dose of fresh air while pounding the stem of his axe into his free palm. "So this shortcut to the Cove really does work after all." Casually, he began to stroll towards the waterside, gripping the axe firmly in both hands. It had rained earlier that morning, and now the ground gave way with every step he took. Perhaps the Cove was not the greatest place on Berk he could be right now, but at least anything would be better than staying at home with his at-the-moment flirtatious sister.
As Tuffnut positioned his axe towards the rippling waters of the Cove, he narrowed his eyes at the invisible target in front of him and initiated a pep talk with himself.
"All right," he muttered, his axe slightly wavering at the words. "Do it the way Gobber showed you this morning." Soon after, his feet began to move to the beat of his oh-so wise words. Not before long, the Viking was moving around wildly, along with his axe.
"I'm on fire. I'm a blur." More axe thrashing in the air occurred. "You ain't seen nothing yet. I go for the kill. Tough as-"
Gaining too much momentum with his "wise" words, the axe suddenly developed a mind of its own, flinging out of Tuffnut's hand and causing the boy himself to flip straight into a bed of damp ground. Abruptly, the pep talk had ended.
Having been used to injuries from many fights with his twin, Ruffnut, the boy soon was up on his feet again, searching around for his missing axe. After taking a gaze around the premises, he finally spotted it sticking out behind a large piece of rock. Satisfied, Tuffnut travelled towards his newly beloved possession, only to come opposite with a familiar face, sadly using a dull stick to draw irregular shapes on the softened ground.
Tuffnut tried to look his coolest as he calmly moved on to retrieve his missing axe, of which the blade had completely buried itself under the ground. "Snotlout?" he asked with a small hint of surprise in his bleak voice.
Snotlout's face barely moved a muscle at the voice. "Hey," he responded glumly, resuming his lowly doodling task, just managing to speak afterwards, "Where's Ruffnut?"
"Dating," Tuffnut answered absentmindedly, positioning himself at a different angle in hopes that it would solve his axe problem. "I mean, she's preparing for her date with Fishlegs right now, debating on whether to wear the red flower in her hair or the yellow."
"I thought Fishlegs liked black," Snotlout responded lifelessly as his random lines became more elaborate.
"Yeah, that's exactly what I tried to tell her," Tuffnut insisted, now using his feet to move the axe until it finally moved an inch, continuing. "Except every time she tries to consult my opinion, she doesn't even take my wise words of wisdom. Now she's turning to Swirl-I mean, Spitfire for advice." Diverting his attention back to his stuck axe, he followed up with a loud, disappointed, "Aww, come on!"
Rolling his eyes at Tuffnut, Snotlout sighed loudly and turned back to his drawing, still maintaining a down mood. Even Tuffnut abandoned his axe mission to examine Snotlout like a doctor.
"Dude, what's up with your attitude?" the Thornston twin asked curiously, forcing Snotlout's eyes open so he could look into them. "You're acting extremely…unSnotloutish today." His tongue clicked at constant intervals as the "examination" continued.
Disgusted, Snotlout hastily shook off Tuffnut's hand. "Get your filthy hands off me, Tuffnut!" By this time, Snotlout's two eyes were locked onto Tuffnut's. The Thornston twin's tonsils were beginning to show their true identity, but the curtains quickly hid them as his opponent continued to yell.
"Okay?" Snotlout bellowed. "Just leave me alone."
For a moment, it seemed as though a tear was trickling down Tuffnut's cheek, although it could have been one of their gods crying up from Valhalla. With that, the two boys spoke no more and resumed their former tasks. It would, however, be a long moment before words would finally leak out of Tuffnut's mind, just as the ground finally would give up in the struggle to hold its newly found article.
As Tuffnut twirled his muddy axe in the air, he declared, "Wait a sec. I think I know what's wrong."
"It's about time," Snotlout grumbled, but Tuffnut paid no attention and continued. "You're mad because of that battle you challenged Hiccup to this morning!" Putting a long, skinny finger on his chin, Tuffnut used his free hand to shake a finger at the woeful boy, continuing, "Yeah, you sure lost-big time. But who could blame Gobber for giving you such a huge disadvantage, right? I mean, I didn't think it was fair."
"Yeah, you and me," snapped Snotlout. "Out of six Vikings. I can't even believe we had a vote over whether Hiccup should get an advantage because of his foot. It was all just so…messed up." For a little extra flair, the despondent Viking threw his hands up in exasperation and groaned, "ARGH!"
Tuffnut pitifully shrugged. "Well, Hiccup didn't count," he reminded Snotlout. "He didn't even vote."
"No, he just got his girlfriend to do it for him," grumbled Snotlout with a sudden epiphany of despair. "Oh, right! Hiccup gets the girl, too! Of all the great things that could have happened today…I didn't get any of it! I should have killed him right there in the ring…with my face!"
"Well, you do have the looks for it," Tuffnut commented observantly.
At the sound of the Thornston twin's comment, Snotlout stared at Tuffnut at a strange angle. "What did you say?" he asked curiously.
Frozen on the spotlight, Tuffnut was certain he would have to re-utter what he had just said. But that would be an insult, and Tuffnut knew better than to insult Snotlout, who already felt lousy about himself. Rapid thoughts rushed through his mind until an idea finally came to him. He knew just how to cheer up Snotlout, and change the subject, too.
Casually tossing his axe aside, he strolled towards Snotlout, giving a sly grin. "I know just how to solve your problem," he said with much confidence.
Snotlout's eyes widened, then returned to their normal height. "How?"
As a goofy grin continued to stay glued to his face, Tuffnut answered Snotlout's question with yet another question. "Do you know why you lost to Hiccup this morning at the match?"
Snotlout innocently shrugged. "Because I lost the match?" he answered truthfully.
Tuffnut had to blink twice before gawking at the Jorgenson boy. "No, silly!" he exclaimed. To him, the answer was so simple! "You lost because Hiccup had the advantage!"
"So they put me at a disadvantage so they could make Hiccup's disadvantage his advantage?" Disarrayed, Snotlout tossed his drawing stick aside and stood up proudly, exclaiming, "I get it now!"
"You do?" Tuffnut prompted, awaiting Snotlout's response that would go with his perfect plan. To his surprise, however, the buff teen instead flexed out an arm and narrowed his eyes.
"Give me the axe," Snotlout commanded impatiently.
As a natural reaction, Tuffnut jerked away from him, defensive of his beloved axe. "Are you crazy?" he cried. "I'm not letting you borrow my axe just so you can challenge Hiccup to another match!"
Rolling his eyes, Snotlout sighed, "As if." His hand was still waiting for the axe. "Just give it to me. I need to do something more…humiliating."
Tuffnut was not entirely certain what the meaning of "humiliating" was, but he didn't exactly want to let Snotlout use his axe to do it. Silently inching just another step away from him, Tuffnut gave an uncertain look. "Uh, just forget what I said, okay?"
Snotlout exhaled noisily. "Fine," he said through gritted teeth, turning the other way. It looked as though he was going to start a war with the next person he laid eyes on.
Biting his lip, Tuffnut quickly ran up to Snotlout, making sure the axe was a far distance away from him. When he caught up, he hastily turned around so that he faced Snotlout and began to re-propose his idea again.
"I mean, it's not exactly your fault you lost to Hiccup, right?" Tuffnut asked in a happier tone, walking alongside Snotlout. "I mean…just think about it!"
Snotlout paused. "Okay," he said hesitantly, ready to listen. "What?"
Clicking his tongue in deep thought, Tuffnut once again leaned in forward and opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
"What?" Snotlout asked, this time in a more curious tone. "What?"
Tuffnut's mouth snapped shut as he proudly stood up straight and began to pace back and forth while proclaiming what he thought was a brilliant plan.
"Don't you think Hiccup can be so…I don't know…weird sometimes?" His two fingers snapped in the air as the last two words came to mind.
Innocent Snotlout stood up to face Tuffnut and inconspicuously nodded. "I suppose so," he responded, just before another thought came to him, now igniting the fire in his once sorrowful eyes, as he continued, "I mean, well, he walks kind of funny with that piece of scrap metal attached to his leg-"
"That's right!" Tuffnut exclaimed proudly, glad that at least one thing in his plan had gone correctly. Soon after, he pretended to limp-walk and trip over his own feet. "He walks a little something like…this!" Resuming back to his normal standing position, Tuffnut urged, "Try it!"
After a slight bit of hesitation, Snotlout then moved his feet in a sort of clomping motion, spreading his arms out to maintain balance. He had seen Hiccup walk around before in this sort of manner, particularly since the boy had no actual control over his scrap metal foot. Snotlout continued to limp in this way until he lost control and tumbled down a small hill, chuckling when he came to a stop. Tuffnut approached not too later, attempting to keep his laughter to a minimum.
"Good one!" he complimented, holding out a hand to help Snotlout up. Then, leaning in to his face, he said, "Let's do it again."
As the two boys made their way up the hill, a small wave of sympathy swept over Snotlout, causing him to pause and stare unassuringly once at the top of the hill. The Thornston twin paid no attention, however, as he prompted, "What are you waiting for? Let's go!" He began to make his way down the hill in Hiccup walk until he realized that Snotlout had made no effort to follow him.
"Uh-oh," Tuffnut muttered, making his way back up the hill. "What's wrong now?"
Absentmindedly, Snotlout shrugged again. "I don't know," he said quietly, casually trying to brush the question away. "It just…kind of makes me feel mean…"
Becoming conscious of the fact that his Viking friend was shriveling away from the hill's top, Tuffnut caught up with Snotlout in a flash.
"Whoa, man," Tuffnut said, purposely blocking the Jorgenson boy's path. "Did you just say you thought it was…mean?" Not waiting for an answer, Tuffnut continued, "Hello? Don't you have any idea what Hiccup did to you this morning at the ring?"
Snotlout blinked. Sighing in frustration, Tuffnut's hand flew up to meet his forehead. "Oh! You are just clueless, aren't you?" he growled.
Before Snotlout could even make a move, Tuffnut once more invaded his personal bubble with some "friendly" reminders. "He beat you, do you hear? He and his friends took advantage of you, and then he beat you. And there is one guy out of all the Vikings that laughed at you who is trying to make you happy!"
On a change of tone, Tuffnut turned around and gave back Snotlout's private space. "Never mind," he sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes to go along with it. "You'll miss the best part, anyway."
At the sound of "best part", Snotlout stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around, seemingly paying attention. Tuffnut considered this as a sign to go on with his next idea. And again, he paced around the front of the Cove, delivering words with every step.
"See, you may have thought Hiccup's bad walking was the only thing I thought of…" Pivoting on his feet, Tuffnut finished with, "But it wasn't."
Snotlout's big eyes twinkled with curiosity as Tuffnut proudly made his idea known,."In the end of all events that happened a while ago, who got the girl?"
"…Hiccup?" Snotlout guessed.
"Correct!" Tuffnut exclaimed, circling around Snotlout the way wolves circle their prey. "And who deserves the girl?"
"…Me?" uttered Snotlout. Tuffnut was growing quite creepy by the second.
"You," Tuffnut declared with a lopsided grin.
"You?" Snotlout stuttered, repeating the phrase.
"You," Tuffnut firmly said, pointing a finger at Snotlout. "You could probably knock that girl's heart out if everyone let you."
Snotlout's eyes narrowed. "But no one does," he replied.
"That's right," said the Thornston twin, assuming a different standing position. "And besides, all I ever hear Hiccup say to her is…"
Once again, he pretended to walk like Hiccup, only this time squawking, "Astrid. Hi Astrid. A-a-a-a-Astrid."
Although he failed to see how Hiccup could possibly still have a girlfriend after speaking in such a way, Snotlout did have no choice but to laugh out loud. Tuffnut's mean impression of Hiccup sure was hilarious. And satisfied by this, he soon began to play along.
"Astrid? Astrid? A…A-a-a-Astrid?" In the blink of an eye, the two immature teens were pacing back and forth around the Cove, stumbling over their own feet and squawking, "Astrid?" every few seconds like seagulls on the beach. And every few seconds, Snotlout was forced to stop his impression of Hiccup; too much laughter would burst out from every inch of his face. It was all too much for him, as he did not even notice he was now rolling around on the ground-that is, until he bumped straight into the feet of the Hofferson girl, who peered strangely at him, awaiting a response.
Snotlout hastily took the time to gather himself together and protest, "Astrid! It's not what you think!"
Upon hearing Snotlout's words, Tuffnut soon showed up behind him. "Yeah," he added to Snotlout's protest. "We weren't making fun of Hiccup and his proble…" Just as Tuffut realized what he was going to say, he helplessly changed the ending to, "…Lumps?"
But Astrid required no listening to what Tuffnut or Snotlout had to say. She had witnessed the mocking the boys just commenced. Instead attention was diverted towards a nearby axe lying on the ground, of which she tossed into the air and caught with one hand.
"Wow, an axe?" Astrid questioned with much fake surprise in her voice. "What a lucky day. I should take this back to the village, where it will be safe."
In a flash, Tuffnut was at her side, only to get caught by her tight grip on his arm. As Tuffnut's free fingers desperately attempted to retrieve his possession, he wailed, "Give me back my axe!"
Astrid's eyes narrowed, and so too did the space between Tuffnut's face and the sharpened blade of his axe, which immediately caused the Thornston twin to shut up. Without another word, she set off into the woods, continuing to hold her grip on Tuffnut.
Quickly, a frantic Snotlout stopped Astrid just as she set foot into the woods.
"Come on, Astrid!" he pleaded. "You can't just slaughter him in front of the entire village!"
Astrid's mischievous grin gave the Jorgenson boy the chills. "Oh, I wasn't planning on killing him, don't worry!" she said, twirling the axe between her fingers. "I was just thinking of something a little more…humiliating."
At the sound of this, Tuffnut silently gulped and again tried to desperately free himself from Astrid's grip. It was no use, however, as he only ended up getting dragged along with her as she continued her journey back to the village.
Then, taking a stare behind her, Astrid added, "And don't think you'll be getting away scot-free, Snotlout. 'Cause when I'm through with Tuffnut, you're going to get it."
And with that, she continued her trek into the woods back to the village, dragging a relentless Tuffnut behind her.
*Closing notes: I've had this idea in my head for a long time, but every time I started to write it, it just never came out right. Finally, however, I worked out a few things and managed to put it together.
I apologize if the title isn't exactly aligned; Fanfiction for some weird reason makes me lose most of it after I click save and doesn't allow me to put it back in its normal place.
Over 1000 How to Train Your Dragon fics? I remember the time when there was only 7, and I posted a story for it! Keep the HTTYD stories coming! ~Uww
