Haute Cuisine

Author: NancyY

Disclaimer: Babylon 5 and its characters are copyrighted creations. This story was written

for entertainment purposes, and no copyright infringement was intended.

Rating: G

Summary: John and Delenn share a lovely dinner together.

It couldn't be edible.

Delenn turned her head away from the noxious smell and replaced the lid. Checking over her shoulder to make sure John was still in her food preparation unit, she pushed the tureen across the table. She'd never seen soup that color, or with that unique odor. She'd heard of tomato, of course, but what were those lumpy brown things floating on top?

When John said he wanted to surprise her with an old fashioned, twentieth century earth dinner in her quarters, she had pictured anything but this. A quick peek into the archives, and she thought she was prepared. The food had sounded delicious. She could almost taste the Gnocchi with tomatoes, basil and olives, served with braised spring legumes. Or perhaps shallots in herb cream sauce, with a delicious mandarin sorbet for dessert.

Not this. Never this.

Wearing an archaic chef's hat, a frilly apron, and a proud little boy grin, John carried another covered dish from the kitchen and set it on the table with a flourish. Curiosity tempered with a strong survival instinct pulled her closer, and she held her breath. How bad could it be?

He lifted the lid and gestured grandly. "Tuna Noodle Casserole!"

The lumpy gray mass bubbled and popped like the mud pools at Sle'tha-Nor, and Delenn's eyes widened even as her stomach clenched. Forcing an appreciative smile, she took the lid from him and carefully replaced it. "We ... ah ... wouldn't want it to get cold, would we?"

John removed the apron and hat, and sat down across from her. His soft, loving look would have melted her heart, if she weren't already dizzy from the fumes.

"This historical cuisine thing has opened up a whole new world for me. I got the recipe for the soup from a can of something called Beanie Weenies." He reached for a bowl. "Can you believe they still make them back home? I think they use soy substitute, now."

Tomato soup with Beanie Wienies. That explained the lumps. How could anyone eat anything with such a disgusting name? Her stomach rebelled as he scooped up a generous serving.

Her eyes watered, and her nose ran, and she tried to hide them both behind a napkin. He leaned across the table and rubbed her arm. "Delenn, are you okay? Are you catching a cold?"

"Minbari don't catch colds," she wheezed. "Perhaps it's an allergy."

Minbari didn't succumb to allergies, either, but she hoped he wasn't aware of that.

"I never knew the archives carried so many old recipes." He began to serve the casserole. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this for you. I've been planning this meal for weeks."

"You ... have?" she replied in a weak voice, trying to hold on to the smile. "I'm ... so flattered ... and you're ... so sweet. You really shouldn't have ... "

He really shouldn't have.

Praying for a way out--any way at all--she took the plate in nerveless fingers and stared in horrified fascination as the gelatinous mass oozed across it. Setting it down gingerly, she picked up her utensil and prepared to do battle. It just couldn't taste as bad as it looked. Could it?

The vid screen beeped. It was dimmed for privacy, and the sound was set to low, but this temporary reprieve had to be gift from the universe.

Delenn was out of her chair and across the room in three strides. Punching the incoming button, she breathed a silent prayer. "Yes?"

This is Tai Mapthna from The Universe Today. Have you renewed your subscription yet? We have a special offer ...

It seemed the universe had provided, as it always did.

"Uh, Lennier, yes, we're both here. You need us right now?" John slumped in his chair, his disappointment palpable. What was she doing? She was suddenly overcome with misgivings. "It's really not a good time ... "

Nausea warred with gracious good manners as she tried and failed to ignore his crestfallen expression. What kind of monster was she? Minbari didn't lie. "Could you get someone else?"

Hello? Are you still there ...

Delenn hesitated. Poor John, he'd tried so hard. Maybe ...

A gentle gust of air from the ventilation system carried the scent of his vintage feast through her quarters. Minbari didn't lie, but they could prevaricate to protect the honor of another. John's honor was at stake, and it was up to her to ensure that his reputation remained intact. If her stomach benefited from her altruism, so much the better.

She kept that thought foremost in her mind.

"Oh ... an emergency? I understand. We'll be right over."

Delenn walked back to the table and pried the soup ladle from his grasp. She dropped it into the tureen, and watched it submerge, imagining its tiny screams.

He stood and pulled her in his arms. "I'm so sorry. I don't know if any of this will keep."

She sighed--partly in relief--and leaned into his embrace. "No, I don't think so. We can go out to dinner later." Her mind was already calculating the magnitude of the explanation Lennier would require. Looking back at the table, she decided no price was too high.

"I don't know how I'll make this up to you, Delenn."

She pulled him closer and whispered, "I'm sure you can think of something."

The End