Closing Logos v. ZeNebOrLy
(the sequel to Zee and Neb v. Closing Logos)
A few weeks after having turned Zenon Karr and Nebula Wade into piles of hamburger, the closing logos decided to go to the city park to terrorize some kids. However, when they arrived at the park, the kids were being terrorized by a group of four sons and (mostly) daughters of bitches. Two looked suspiciously familiar to the logos who found and killed the dumbasses in the mall.
"Inconceivable!" said a Screen Gems S from Hell. "They cannot be Zee and Neb!"
"We did away with the sluts almost a month ago!" said a Viacom V of Steel.
Ubu said, "I don't think you're going to like this. They probably are the two we offed last month."
A Lorimar Line of Doom said, "It has to be impossible."
"I wish it were impossible. You see, the cretins we deep-sixed in the mall are part of ZeNebOrLy, a group closely associated with the Plasterers (a group of people dedicated to replacing old/classic closing logos with new, crappy logos -ed.). The Plasterers created a body factory for ZeNebOrLy, from which the remaining members of ZeNebOrLy can restore the bodies of the dead members."
"But how do the new bodies become just like the originals?" asked a V of Doom.
"The bodies are the containers for the souls of Zee and Neb, and the souls are put into the bodies when needed."
"This means that we can kill them as many times as we want, but they will simply come back as if nothing happened?" asked a Paramount Blue Mountain.
"Yes, but we can destroy the body factory, if we knew where it was."
A V of Steel came up to Ubu and said, "I have an idea. What we need to do is kill one of the son and daughters of bitches and follow the rest to this body factory." He caught the MTM Kitten having sex with the MGM Lion. "Dammit, cats, I have a good idea here! Why in the hell--"
"You know the MTM Kitten is bisexual, and I'm gay," said the MGM Lion.
"Get the Kitten's bi dick out of your gay ass and go kill one of them!" said the enraged V. The Kitten dismounted the Lion, who ran for Lynx and pounced on her. Needless to say, he tore her ass open and had a feast. Zenon, Nebula, and Orion stopped to see their comrade being destroyed by the MGM Lion, and Orion took out a big white container. He opened the container, and Lynx's soul energy jumped into it.
Ubu saw this, and yelled to the Mark VII Hammer Man, "Go follow them to the body factory!" The Hammer Man took a cell phone and a GPS tracker from the dog, and he smashed a window with his hammer and drove off in a stolen car. He followed the cretins all the way to the body factory.
The Hammer Man came to the body factory and got in by bribing the guards with coupons for free sex at Tyrone's Whorehouse. Then he called up Ubu with the coordinates to the body factory and left the facility.
Back at the park, the other logos were partying and drinking beer the Closet Killer got from the liquor store on the other side of the tracks. The Hammer Man returned and had a couple beers himself. They didn't care that Lynx had burned down a couple of houses after her rebirth. Or that ZeNebOrLy had planned to assassinate the mayor and police chief and blow up all the police stations in three days.
Two days later, after they recovered from their hangovers, the logos came back out of their lair and headed for the body factory. Ubu got a letter from Orion detailing their evil plan, which he immediately burned.
Ubu became so inflamed that he yelled an order to his subordinates: "LET'S FUCKING DESTROY THAT FUCKING BODY FACTORY AND KILL THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS!" The logos charged out toward the body factory.
A V of Steel rotated down from the sky, cutting the power lines to the body factory while a V of Doom crashed through the gates (as the guards were home with the clap) and plowed down the backup generators. The V of Doom scared the guards at the door to the point that they ran off while the purple cardboard beast broke down the doors.
The other logos charged through the doors and headed into progressively more restricted areas, scaring off the guards and breaking through the now-useless electrically-powered defenses, until they had reached the granddaddy of them all... the body storage room.
The logos stopped their jingles and their asses to see the sight. There were hundreds of bodies, waiting for souls. Then an S from Hell turned around, loudly farted out the Siday jingle (FART FART, FART FART FART FART... FART! FART!), and lit a match.
The flames rushed toward the bodies in their tubes, and the shock of the explosion shattered the tubes as the fire flame-broiled the bodies. The logos cheered and stole various items on their way out as the body factory slowly burned down without the sprinklers that would have saved it.
All of the logos were accounted for and safely outside of the building as parts of it caved in and crumbled.
"That is one nice fire," said a blue "Return to Mayberry" V.
"It's so warm and bright," said a Lorimar CGI Line.
"Yeah, like the Torch Ladys' flames," said a Sunburst.
"It's almost fucking midnight! You know they're going to screw over the town tomorrow if we don't stop them!" yelled Ubu.
"We should go kill those fuckers," said a V of Doom.
Ubu went to Zee's house, along with a camera and an 80's Torch Lady. A V of Steel and a V of Doom headed for Neb's house with another camera. Three S's from Hell and a CPT Pretzel were on their way for Orion's ass. And, of course, the MGM Lion and MTM Kitten, who was carrying yet another camera, had dibs on Lynx.
Ubu knew that Orion would be preparing the explosives, so he focused all killing efforts on him, while the girls would become the subjects of porno flicks. He and the Torch Lady set up Zee's room to shoot their porno flick. The Torch Lady put Zee in the position so that Ubu could do her doggie style.
The V's came to Neb's house, which was filled with cockroaches and Neb's three children, who were presumably crack babies.
The V of Steel said, "This is ridiculous. Got the condoms?"
The V of Doom, said, "Of course!" and the pair of fancy-cut V's put on their Trojan Extra-Large-Triple-Thick-Ribbed Condoms so they could more safely do Neb in that stretched-out cootchie while the camera rolled and the babies, including the 4-year-old, who was still in diapers, cried. Then they left through a hole in the wall the V of Doom made.
The S's and the Pretzel came to Orion's trailer in the sticks. There, they found half a ton of dynamite, detonators, and a meth lab.
"Oh, shit, he's cooking meth!" said a black S.
The gray S said, "It looks like it's gonna blow!"
"If it's going to blow, then why are we still in here, anyway?" asked the red S.
The Pretzel said, "'Cause we're being dumb" and the four ran from the trailer. Far from the trailer. A good mile from the trailer. Then the meth caught fire and set off the explosives. BOOM!
"Have we learned a lesson here, boys?" asked the red S.
"Don't cook meth and store explosives in the same room?" said the gray S.
"More like don't cook meth at all," said the red S.
The cats had already filmed their little threesome at this time, with the Kitten doing both the Lion and Lynx. Then the MGM Lion tore Lynx to shreds, and they left smiling and licking each other.
They returned to the lair and celebrated the thwarting of ZeNebOrLy's plan to destroy the town, as well as the destruction of the body factory and all the members of ZeNebOrLy, except for Zee, who later joined them in their crusade against the Plasterers, and Neb, who ended up in prison for robbing a bank to pay for her crack habit.
The End
(the sequel to Zee and Neb v. Closing Logos)
A few weeks after having turned Zenon Karr and Nebula Wade into piles of hamburger, the closing logos decided to go to the city park to terrorize some kids. However, when they arrived at the park, the kids were being terrorized by a group of four sons and (mostly) daughters of bitches. Two looked suspiciously familiar to the logos who found and killed the dumbasses in the mall.
"Inconceivable!" said a Screen Gems S from Hell. "They cannot be Zee and Neb!"
"We did away with the sluts almost a month ago!" said a Viacom V of Steel.
Ubu said, "I don't think you're going to like this. They probably are the two we offed last month."
A Lorimar Line of Doom said, "It has to be impossible."
"I wish it were impossible. You see, the cretins we deep-sixed in the mall are part of ZeNebOrLy, a group closely associated with the Plasterers (a group of people dedicated to replacing old/classic closing logos with new, crappy logos -ed.). The Plasterers created a body factory for ZeNebOrLy, from which the remaining members of ZeNebOrLy can restore the bodies of the dead members."
"But how do the new bodies become just like the originals?" asked a V of Doom.
"The bodies are the containers for the souls of Zee and Neb, and the souls are put into the bodies when needed."
"This means that we can kill them as many times as we want, but they will simply come back as if nothing happened?" asked a Paramount Blue Mountain.
"Yes, but we can destroy the body factory, if we knew where it was."
A V of Steel came up to Ubu and said, "I have an idea. What we need to do is kill one of the son and daughters of bitches and follow the rest to this body factory." He caught the MTM Kitten having sex with the MGM Lion. "Dammit, cats, I have a good idea here! Why in the hell--"
"You know the MTM Kitten is bisexual, and I'm gay," said the MGM Lion.
"Get the Kitten's bi dick out of your gay ass and go kill one of them!" said the enraged V. The Kitten dismounted the Lion, who ran for Lynx and pounced on her. Needless to say, he tore her ass open and had a feast. Zenon, Nebula, and Orion stopped to see their comrade being destroyed by the MGM Lion, and Orion took out a big white container. He opened the container, and Lynx's soul energy jumped into it.
Ubu saw this, and yelled to the Mark VII Hammer Man, "Go follow them to the body factory!" The Hammer Man took a cell phone and a GPS tracker from the dog, and he smashed a window with his hammer and drove off in a stolen car. He followed the cretins all the way to the body factory.
The Hammer Man came to the body factory and got in by bribing the guards with coupons for free sex at Tyrone's Whorehouse. Then he called up Ubu with the coordinates to the body factory and left the facility.
Back at the park, the other logos were partying and drinking beer the Closet Killer got from the liquor store on the other side of the tracks. The Hammer Man returned and had a couple beers himself. They didn't care that Lynx had burned down a couple of houses after her rebirth. Or that ZeNebOrLy had planned to assassinate the mayor and police chief and blow up all the police stations in three days.
Two days later, after they recovered from their hangovers, the logos came back out of their lair and headed for the body factory. Ubu got a letter from Orion detailing their evil plan, which he immediately burned.
Ubu became so inflamed that he yelled an order to his subordinates: "LET'S FUCKING DESTROY THAT FUCKING BODY FACTORY AND KILL THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS!" The logos charged out toward the body factory.
A V of Steel rotated down from the sky, cutting the power lines to the body factory while a V of Doom crashed through the gates (as the guards were home with the clap) and plowed down the backup generators. The V of Doom scared the guards at the door to the point that they ran off while the purple cardboard beast broke down the doors.
The other logos charged through the doors and headed into progressively more restricted areas, scaring off the guards and breaking through the now-useless electrically-powered defenses, until they had reached the granddaddy of them all... the body storage room.
The logos stopped their jingles and their asses to see the sight. There were hundreds of bodies, waiting for souls. Then an S from Hell turned around, loudly farted out the Siday jingle (FART FART, FART FART FART FART... FART! FART!), and lit a match.
The flames rushed toward the bodies in their tubes, and the shock of the explosion shattered the tubes as the fire flame-broiled the bodies. The logos cheered and stole various items on their way out as the body factory slowly burned down without the sprinklers that would have saved it.
All of the logos were accounted for and safely outside of the building as parts of it caved in and crumbled.
"That is one nice fire," said a blue "Return to Mayberry" V.
"It's so warm and bright," said a Lorimar CGI Line.
"Yeah, like the Torch Ladys' flames," said a Sunburst.
"It's almost fucking midnight! You know they're going to screw over the town tomorrow if we don't stop them!" yelled Ubu.
"We should go kill those fuckers," said a V of Doom.
Ubu went to Zee's house, along with a camera and an 80's Torch Lady. A V of Steel and a V of Doom headed for Neb's house with another camera. Three S's from Hell and a CPT Pretzel were on their way for Orion's ass. And, of course, the MGM Lion and MTM Kitten, who was carrying yet another camera, had dibs on Lynx.
Ubu knew that Orion would be preparing the explosives, so he focused all killing efforts on him, while the girls would become the subjects of porno flicks. He and the Torch Lady set up Zee's room to shoot their porno flick. The Torch Lady put Zee in the position so that Ubu could do her doggie style.
The V's came to Neb's house, which was filled with cockroaches and Neb's three children, who were presumably crack babies.
The V of Steel said, "This is ridiculous. Got the condoms?"
The V of Doom, said, "Of course!" and the pair of fancy-cut V's put on their Trojan Extra-Large-Triple-Thick-Ribbed Condoms so they could more safely do Neb in that stretched-out cootchie while the camera rolled and the babies, including the 4-year-old, who was still in diapers, cried. Then they left through a hole in the wall the V of Doom made.
The S's and the Pretzel came to Orion's trailer in the sticks. There, they found half a ton of dynamite, detonators, and a meth lab.
"Oh, shit, he's cooking meth!" said a black S.
The gray S said, "It looks like it's gonna blow!"
"If it's going to blow, then why are we still in here, anyway?" asked the red S.
The Pretzel said, "'Cause we're being dumb" and the four ran from the trailer. Far from the trailer. A good mile from the trailer. Then the meth caught fire and set off the explosives. BOOM!
"Have we learned a lesson here, boys?" asked the red S.
"Don't cook meth and store explosives in the same room?" said the gray S.
"More like don't cook meth at all," said the red S.
The cats had already filmed their little threesome at this time, with the Kitten doing both the Lion and Lynx. Then the MGM Lion tore Lynx to shreds, and they left smiling and licking each other.
They returned to the lair and celebrated the thwarting of ZeNebOrLy's plan to destroy the town, as well as the destruction of the body factory and all the members of ZeNebOrLy, except for Zee, who later joined them in their crusade against the Plasterers, and Neb, who ended up in prison for robbing a bank to pay for her crack habit.
The End