Breathing.
That was the thing he liked to remember about her. Just her breathing. Those small, heavy sighs as she exhaled, and the sharp surprised sound of her body sucking in air.
Everything Katniss seemed to do besides breathing hurt him. Remembering her words, her movement, the way she shot her arrows. Each and every thing pierced his heart, re-opening that dull ache of sorrow and longing that could never be slated. The ever-present pain of losing his one reason to keep living.
Sadly, Gale thought of the past. The times when he had felt whole, when the ache was gone and he was happy.
000
Snow crunched under his boots as he worked over the knots tumbling from his stiff fingers, puffs of hot air coming from his lungs, looking like dragon's breath in the chilled air. Katniss came up next to him, quiver full of arrows and bow slung carelessly over her back. It was one of the rare moments when she was smiling for no other reason than that she was content.
"Come on, Gale," she murmured quietly, snowfall decorating her shoulders and eyelashes with little flecks of white. It looked beautiful against her dark hair and pale winter skin. Her grey eyes were amused. "Take a break. We don't have to have all the traps done today."
He shook his head no, eyes focused on the knots. "I'm almost done," he said, determinedly tying another one despite his aching hands.
She sighed heavily, breath coming out slow and easy. She put her hand over his, an unexpected flush of warmth on his freezing fingers. Momentarily distracted, Gale's hands slacked on the rope, and Katniss quickly pulled it out of his hands, grinning.
"Now you have to do something else," she said, smiling as she hooked the rope onto her belt. "It's the first time it's snowed this winter. We are going to have fun." She took his hand again, leading him deeper into the forest. She missed the flush on his cheeks as her hand gripped tightly on his.
000
Gale sighed at the memory. It was one of the only times he had distinctly remembered Katniss being happy.
He loved to see her smile - it lit up the whole world around them. She had a beautiful smile, her teeth naturally straight and white, and her soft pink lips stretching only slightly, revealing a hint of what lay beneath. It always made him feel warmth, as if it were a warm spring day and the sun was shining down on him.
It was a shame she had not smiled more. He had sometimes wished that he could be the one to make her smile regularly. But that had been Prim's job.
And he had killed her.
The ache in his heart spread, growing into a force that took over his whole body. It warped his thoughts into twisted things that he had tried not to think about ever since The Rebellion. They bitterly sucked up all of his pain and anger, hungry for more. His hands tightened on the table before him, leaving crescent moons in the soft wood. He saw nothing but his pained memories, all tinged blood red. Voices whispered nasty things in his head, making his blood run cold.
Maybe she would have been with you, if you hadn't killed Prim. No, that was ridiculous. She wouldn't have. She loved Peeta. You are just an old friend who at the time meant nothing, only getting in the way of her love for him. You were a pest, a nuisance. She didn't need you any more. You were worthless to her. Peeta was everything. Prim was everything. And you single-handedly destroyed her happiness. Stupid, awful, annoying -
"Gale?"
He slowly turned around to see his friend and co-worker, Heron. He smiled apologetically.
"Sorry, yes?"
Heron sighed, entering Gale's office hesitantly. "You were doing it again."
Gale frowned. "How many times did you call my name?"
"About fifteen." Heron looked somber.
"That's three more than last time," said Gale, sighing. The ache had calmed down a bit, and he tried his best to ignore it as he normally did.
Heron nodded, sighing along with him. "You never know. Maybe it'll get better."
Gale shook his head. "It's been two years, Heron. Now, what do you need?"
"Boss wants the proposal by next week."
Gale wrinkled his nose, frowning. "Great. Thanks though, Heron." He gave him a meaningful look.
Heron nodded. "Any time, man."
Gale turned back around, listening as Heron's footsteps echoed off the walls as he went back to his own office. He gave a deep sigh.
It was still there, but duller and less-insistent. Gale put a hand over his beating heart and closed his eyes. It slowly went down to its normal rate, a low thump.
He thought about her breathing, about that day, for one last moment.
He went back to work.
Now this is the time when you review.