A/N: o hay guiz tis Madi. So, I'm not gonna lie, this fic was half decent for a while then I just got lazy but wanted to finish it like you would not believe.
Sex is terribly hard to write for when you haven't had any in a while.
Yeah It's half-assed smut, enjoy. Or don't.
Emerged in the dark, moody and somewhat pessimistic world of what others would call "Gothdom", you often forget. You forget the smaller things in life. The way it feels to bounce around and smile, to wear your hair up in dorkish little styles, the way it feels to see in colour rather than the same, dead shades of black and grey, over and over. The scarier, more morbid and feared things in life become ever so bold to your insightful eyes. I lost my childlike tendencies. Even in the short-lived times when I grew up in the sun, running around with the other kids and playing. Kicking soccer balls and jumping rope, with a simple burning star guiding my naivety as I smiled. Quite ungratefully, I appreciated nothing about the goddamned ball of light.
The rain became the perfect outlet for my new found teenage angst. My smile became drenched in obsidian and my complexion in ivory waves. I often stood in it, watching the sky that was so delicately wrapped in greys. I was always so--for lack of a better word--delighted that my old enemy was hiding within the clouds embrace.
You can only imagine the kind of emotions that would be invoked if you ever indulged in something so terribly nostalgic.
Humid air circled around me as I breathed in it's boiling butter. It was a large clearing, a parkland area outside the forest that the all-too familiar film lot was connected to. The utopia reminded me too much of the large meadow back home. During the summer, for hundreds of years, it was a place to get drunk, mess around, and experiment with sex. Yards away, my friends were enjoying a challenge-free day. He was probably off conceiving beautiful tunes to present to me. The scenario was clear as day, he'd look at me with a sea of green pooling behind that black hair of his and tell me I meant everything to him, he'd wrap an arm around my waist and I'd feel his racing heartbeat sync completely with mine.
He was my boyfriend, it was the way things were supposed to be. Me and Trent.
Duncan and I had been meeting here for about a week now. It was secluded, and much too far for anyone to find it, the complex trail of forest paths proved that. But I knew, and he knew, and that was all that mattered. Sighing at the thought of the delinquent and his usual lateness, I felt my feet slowly carrying me to the tiny cascade of emerald and let myself fall, drowning in the gentle undertow of summer's deep, churning cauldron. Alabaster flowers petaled on either side of me, bees gently fluttering from tree to tree as I squinted into the uncharacteristically hot Ontario sun. And it was strange to me, because I felt compelled. To do what, I didn't know... this deep longing flutter inside of me, like the sun was my friend, and after betraying it, even then it still cared for the childishly optimistic part of me. As if, perhaps, said orb of illumination and I could make amends and co-exist without inconvenience.
It was comforting, really--and as I twirled the grass in-between my minuscule fingertips, the floral kiss that brushed my porcelain cheeks calmed me into sleep.
Before dream finally hit me, I felt one more kind sunbeam drench my back. And, softly, the wind whispered "I forgive you,"
***
All this time I denied those allegations that the bastard shot at me. I only had eyes for my princess, the girl who had captivated me to lengths that had never before been awakened within. And every instant that green-clad moron told me to back away from his girl, Courtney was all that could flash into my head. She lingered in my thoughts, quite regrettably, despite the fact that she was one of the biggest bitches I'd ever met. I could do better than her, I knew that, but one thing kept me chasing after her: I knew it was me who had made her that way, and deep inside, I craved her nastiness. There was some sick, deranged, masochistic animal in me that wanted Courtney more than words could describe. Me and her were just too right.
Gwen was the best friend that this world could ever give me. And really, I was surprised that metro-boy still hadn't come looking for us, or following me or something. I mean, was he really so blinded by how much he loved her that he didn't even realize me and her were gone at the same time? All he did was play that damn guitar, and try to woo her, he didn't understand that you never get a girl that way. The best part of a relationship is always the chase, and you'd think a teacher's pet like Trent would at least play hard-to-get a little.
Courtney's sharp expression shot through my subconscious again, and waves of nausea crept over me like a thousand spiders. There was something about that tense gaze of hers that made me absolutely sick. And not the kind of sick I liked, either. It wasn't that feeling of inferiority that made my libido rage out of control to dominate the closest thing nearby, ever since the end of this god-be-damned reality show's first season, she had only made me want to puke. My head spun, and I collapsed next to Gwen. Laying on the grass, my heart suddenly flared like the white-hot fire that floated aimlessly around our skinny forms, and I wrapped my arms around her, eyes closing and soul suddenly at ease. The feeling of the sun beating down on our backs as we became one with the world... was it really real? I couldn't help but wonder myself.
"You know, Gwen..." I whispered, knowing I wouldn't break through her sleep. "If it weren't for certain people, I could actually fall for you."
I had no idea that her eyes were slowly fluttering open while I held her, and when she turned around, her eyes told me that whatever I thought was right, was wrong. When our lips touched, I wanted to cringe at the fact that someone so beautiful felt so breakable in my arms. I kissed her back, and suddenly I didn't give a damn what was right or wrong, all I knew was that I wanted her, and I wanted her bad.
***
"What's the point of all of this?" The words had escaped my cobalt lips ever so suddenly, and even deep inside I hadn't the slightest clue of what the question I was asking meant, nor what kind of answer I wanted. It was the fragile ghost haunting that jade pool of meadow again, cradling my body and in return asking for me to be a humble host. Aquamarine eyes burned through the spirit of the greenery, chasing it away as I suddenly snapped back into reality's harsh confinement.
"We do this," He said, breaking my gaze and looking to the kelly below worn scarlet Converse. "Because it's our circumvention."
"But how come destiny made it us?" I moved closed to his tall silhouette against the shine of my former enemy of mother nature, and directed my eyes to the side of his head, which was still bowed and admiring the turf. "Me and you. Here, and now..."
"Hell if I know," He spat. "Predetermination's never taken my side."
"Your negative karma points are off the scale, Duncan. It's the way the cookie crumbles when you're a natural-born dickhead."
"Who I am is who I am," His voice seemed to be a lot less comical than mine.
"How boring," I said, my stare averting back to the bitterly beautiful tangerine horizon.
***
Something inside me instinctively clicked, and my hands were immediately drawn like a magnet to the teen. I watched her tumble to the ground roughly, our faces perfectly aligned and mere layers of air, pollen, sunlight, particles separating our lips, our noses, eyebrows, ears--nothing, however, could separate our eyes--that same, burning gaze that grew harder and harder to break every time it met mine. Upon pouncing on her, I had expected an outburst... but, no..
That was predictable.
And I knew that Gwen was anything but that.
When our glare finally did die down, I glimpsed Gwen's eyes slowly stirring as she closed them, black eyeshadow overtaking what was once a deep charcoal blue-grey sea. When she spoke, her words were shaky, and her shoulders lightly trembled beneath my ridged, sweat-logged palms as she took each small breath.
"Hey, Duncan."
I tensed.
"Kiss me again,"
Yeah, it's true, I wanted to. But nonetheless, something still made the foggy machinations that laid deep within my subconscious force themselves out. "Give me one reason why that's a good idea."
"You're on top of me, the sun is setting, and no one is around," Poor girl. Her skin was so fair that the blush on her cheeks was evident--brandished, more-so--long before she had uttered the words.
"We're cheating. On two people we proclaim to care about." I teased. "Destiny wouldn't appreciate it,"
She pulled an arm out from beneath my loosening grip and wrapped her outstretched limb around the light fuzz of my partially shaven head. "I don't feel like co-operating with destiny today."
That's when I finally crushed our lips together, caressing her fragile body, which still felt so tiny and delicate to me. Despite knowing that the spirit of Summer's Cauldron would protect her, I had never kissed a woman with such caution before. There was something different about Gwen, and the way I felt when her dainty pink brushed the fine line of my lips. I didn't like it one bit, but she controlled me, more than any human being had. I was a wild spirit, no one had ever tamed me, but Gwen's wispy form and shattering marine kisses made my heart lurch and my mind ooze with utter and complete lust.
Flattening the lumps of clover and milky blossoms, she shifted on top of me. Her weight wasn't much of a burden, but the layers separating us still bothered me. As if reading my mind, I could feel her hands fumbling with the back of my shirt, tugging at it. The grass wasn't sharp when my bare back hit it, in fact it was comforting, like a benevolent trundle begging us to pay no attention to it's emerald oddities. Her density on top of me made me go wild, and I kissed her harder, my lips flaming with passion. Fiercely, her hot mouth escaped mine, and she breathed sharply into my broad chest, her every movement enticing me. I ran a finger through ultramarine hair, which slid down to every curve, every little section of the girl's slender body. She gasped at the sensation, and pressed our lips together once more, not able to contain the bubbling emotion rising from within. That's when the real frolic began.
I was beguiled by the way she tenderly stroked the fine stitch of my baggy sapphire shorts, breath caught in my throat when I felt the silver button slowly loosen around my firm arousal, she was nearly begging, how cute.
I was grateful that her outfit that day was practically perfect for the occasion, her corset was one of those cheap Lip Service ones the zipped off easily, I fingered the zipper, broke the kiss for a moment the catch my breath, and marveled at the beauty of her immaculate, pearly complexion, running fingers down her chest again as I threw off her top. I dove back into the embrace, our lips scissoring back and forth for air and just for the hell of the sensation of our half-naked bodies brushing up and down on each other. The soft tips of her breasts had peaked long ago, and the feeling that coursed through me when I felt her on top of me was utter ecstasy. There was a point where I gently flipped back on top of her, sliding off what little she had underneath that short skirt of hers.. she gave me an intuitive look before I kissed her one last time, and we sealed our uncertain fates, there, on the grass.
Gasps of pleasure escaped her, and for a moment the entire meadow was silent with the sweltering, fading to crisp atmosphere of the setting sun. We met each others stare once more, trying to blink as seldom as possible as if this were a life-or-death matter.
"There's no going back," I whispered, taking a hand to her ivory cheek and lightly brushing the hair away.
"I'm willing to accept that," The teen squeaked through rigged breaths.
I gazed at her for one more moment before slightly darkening my expression and giving a nod. My motionings were slow at first, I had yet to analyze the way to work her in my favor. The calm ministrations that were conceived as I rocked back and forth into her granted the wish that had been hiding in my head. Night had fallen, and while I continued to groan softly as I thrusted against her perfection, the thought hit me that she was beautiful--even in such a vulnerable state.
***
He had lured me into the most insecure, but greatest sense I had ever been drawn into in my entire sixteen years of life. Like the sun, Duncan had turned me again into a small, inferior girl, blushing from the heat of all he cast onto me. I could never, however, stay angry at the little bastard, even if he had turned me into this. Laying helpless on the grass, turned on, clenching it's gentle jade embrace that turned to water beneath my fingers violently, as he sped up and I felt the friction hitting me in all the right places--like he was so educated on what to do to make someone like me scream with delight. More and more tiny moans slipped through my sky-coloured kiss as I felt our skin's smooth touch against each other. He was drawing me closer and closer to that shining, burning euphoria that I very well knew was coming.
And when I felt the climax hit me, I nearly buried my lips within his to stop myself from vocalizing where we were and what we were doing. Minutes after, he had pulled away, collapsing on the turf beside me. We laid there for a moment, staring at the slowly blackening sky, while the throes of orgasm left us in calm, pulsing waves. Those blue chasms hit me again, and as always I looked back into them, bare chest gradually rising and falling.
"I don't think I ever realized," he said. "How beautiful you were..."
I turned to the side, blushing and retrieving the clothing that had been peeled off of me.
"I guess I just finally get it now, Gwen."
I turned around and met his gaze. We were clothed again, with the exception of his shirt, which was somewhere beneath my feet (I was much too distracted by his muscular build to care) Duncan stared into my eyes and started saying things I never knew he had it in him to utter.
"Here we are beneath a sky, filled with billions and billions of bright burning fire, if you look beyond every lone star you can see that there's a whole galaxy out there, and to those speckles of light dancing across the sky, we're just as small as they are, if not smaller. We're here on the grass with absolute beauty displaying its regal head in front of us, begging for attention..." He stood up, and moved closer to me. "But all I can stare at is you,"
My gaze just glinted up at him, face growing hot, body chilling slowly as my heart continued to beat at a considerably fast pace. Something in the wind stirred, and I felt the first raindrop of summer's end splash off my nose. Duncan gave an intuitive look towards the forest path we had come from, and grabbed my hand as the moon's alabaster light shone down on our darkened silhouettes.
"This'll mean nothing when we get back there."
"It's okay, Duncan." I finally said after moments of complete silence, nothing more than the rain's gentle hymn dancing all around us as summer's cauldron began to slowly cool. "We'll still be able to live with the rush that we defied destiny for a day,"
He smiled his bullshit smile that I had always adored, brushed my hair out of my face, and kissed me once more in the pouring rain, our hair dripping wet and bodies freezing cold but at the same time fevered from the hot friction of our lips slammed into one another. More gently than usual, he pulled away from me, and began to stride, my lips parting as I spoke one more time.
"You make me want to feel the sun,"