Hold On

Author: Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

Rated: M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

Pairing: Hiccup/Astrid.

Disclaimer: I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 1.

It was starting again, another day of being beaten by the village. The people who were supposed to be his tribe. In a tribe people help one another, protect one another but in this tribe one 15 year old boy was never treated like a tribe member, rather an outcast. It had been happening almost everyday for years, since he was 8. At first it was just being shoved around, being pushed to the ground, bring tripped, and belittled with terrible names. But as he got older the abuse only continued and got worse. There were some who just watched. There were some who would brake up the one sided fight, but leave him there alone. He did have parents, parent actually.

His mother died when he was two, and he barely remembered her. His father on the other hand, who had once been there for him was suddenly never around after losing his wife. The man turned cold towards his own son and knew of the abuse he suffered but never helped him, or stopped it. He went as far as pretending he didn't know, even when there was physical proof it was pushed off as an accident or he'd hurt himself. The boy never understood why he was so hated by his village, he never did anything wrong.

"Hey useless, gonna destroy anything today?! Haha!" Came the voice of his cousin. One of his main bullies in life.

"Please stop..." The boy pleaded as he was shoved towards the hands of another boy.

"Come on Hiccup, it's just a game. Don't be a poor sport..." Said the other male.

This is how it always was. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, the village punching bag. He'd only left his house to go to the forge, now he'd be late and probably be scolded by his father for such. Before he could protest again, he felt a fist slam in to his gut making his cough out then double over in pain. He grunted then feeling himself be pushed face first in to the ground, he was pretty sure he got a few scrapes on his face and wrists from it.

"You're so weak. Can't even handle one punch cuz?" His cousin teased. Snotlout Jorgenson, Hiccup's younger cousin by two months. Snotlout's father, Spitelout was Hiccup's father, Stoick's brother, younger by almost 2 years. Snotlout always picked on Hiccup, every day without fail with his friends. Other bullies Hiccup had were Ruffnut and Tuffnut Thorsten. One of their friends Fishlegs Ingerman usually only watched from the sides and told them when to give it a rest. And one person only belittled him, her name was Astrid Hofferson.

She was a girl that Hiccup had a major crush on but he never had the courage to talk to her, that and he was pretty much invisible to her and all of the village unless he was getting publically beat on. What was sad was that Hiccup was Stoick's son, and Stoick was the chief of the tribe. Hiccup was the heir of the chief and future chief of the island, but that didn't matter to anyone. Not even his own father.

The blacksmith, Gobber was also Hiccup's mentor. He was good for making Hiccup laugh, though that man practically raised Hiccup he still gave his little sarcastic remarks about how Hiccup was. Hiccup loved to invent, and draw. Most of his inventions would backfire, and cause destruction which would then lead to him getting scolded by his father in front of the entire village. Great life, right.

"Worthless."

"Useless."

"Embarrassment of Berk."

"Disappointment."

"You'll never be anything."

"Weakling."

"Stupid."

"Destructive."

"You're nothing more than a Hiccup." The words tore at him, inside and out. While the words left mental scars on his mind, while his bullies and tribe left physical scars on his body. This went on for hours it seemed when in reality maybe it was 20 minutes before they walked away snickering leaving Hiccup in a crumbled mess on the dirt road. He had fresh bruises, new cuts, and was covered in dirt. Slowly he forced himself to his feet and limped towards the forge not wanting to be any later than he already was.

Reaching the forge 10 minutes later, he walked in trying to keep his face hidden from Gobber. Hiccup put on his apron and started sharpening weapons. They wanted to be ready for the next dragon raid, Hiccup didn't care though. He'd seen a dragon up close before, and it never harmed him. He knew they were simply misunderstood and no one would give them a chance. He knew this because 2 years ago he met a dragon face to face, he even helped it heal from an injury.

"There yew are laddie." Gobber's cheery voice cut through his thoughts.

"So–sorry...I–I got held up." Hiccup apologized quickly to him. "Pl–please don't tell my dad..." Hiccup asked.

"I didn't plan too lad. Just get to work...Lots of weapons to sharpen, fix, and organize." Gobber smiled at him. Hiccup forced a smile and nodded getting back to work as Gobber hobbled away to take care of customers in the front. Hiccup sighed focusing on the sword he was sharpening while thinking back to when he met the dragon. It wasn't just an ordinary dragon either, it was a Night Fury. A dragon no Viking had ever seen, had never even gotten close to without dying on the spot.

The dragon was rumored to never leave people alive, and never miss a target. Even the dragon manual on the island had nothing about Night Furies. Speed was unknown. Size was unknown. It was labeled the unholy offspring of lightening and death itself, and the only warning the book offered was to hide and pray it did not find out. This wasn't the case for Hiccup and even two years later he pondered why this dragon didn't kill him when it saw him. 'I remember it like it was yesterday...' Hiccup thought sighing.

/Flashback/

[Hiccup's POV]

I woke up sluggishly, my body still sore from the beatings I sustained from the villagers days before. My head felt like I'd been hit with a hammer, my body felt like I'd been sleeping in a cramped box for a week. It was terrible, but then a smile came to my lips because I remembered that today...was my birthday! I was 13 today, finally making me a teenager. Today would be amazing. I rushed out of bed tossing off the blanket, slipped on my brown boots, and made it down the stairs. My first hopes of seeing my dad there were gone, as usual. He was never there when I got up, and every year since I was 6 he never wished me a happy birthday.

I got used to it of course and just carried on about my morning. I made myself some breakfast, just eggs and mutton then cleaned up the area to get outside and to the forge. Birthday or not, I still had a job to do. There had been a bad raid yesterday and a lot of weapons would be needing fixing or sharpening. I was Gobber's apprentice in the forge, my main job was keeping the weapons in the weaponry organized, or sharpening. I could fix or forge small things like daggers, or bolas. I actually made my own dagger, it never left my sight either. First one I ever did all by myself when I was 10.

My father Stoick, had instructed Gobber to just teach me how to organize and sharpen but he's taught me almost everything he knows. I could run that shop by myself by now but everything thought I was stupid and would just destroy everything. Gobber has been the one to make me smile when I'm upset because the village thinks I'm useless, he's the man I consider my father but no one knows that. I don't have any friends, everyone just picks on me but after so many years I've learned to just take the beatings then leave. Gobber has always told me that if anyone was giving me trouble to let him know and he'll take care of it for me, but if I tell him then everyone will just hate me more for getting them in trouble so I keep my mouth shut.

When Gobber notices bruises or cuts from beatings, I just tell him I fell or banged myself up in the forge. It happens a lot in there so he buys it. I feel bad lying to him but what choice do I have at this point? Everyone hates me as it is but if I can get away not being pummeled for being a tattle-tale as it were then I was going to. Today would be good...it was my birthday...no one would hurt me today. Right? As soon as I made it down the hill from my father's house and entered the village it started.

I was ran in to by someone clearly in a hurry. They didn't bother to apologize, I just sighed it off and kept going. It continued the entire 20 minute walk to the forge. People pushing me, shoving me to get out of their way. By the time I got there, I was already sporting new bruises on my face and arms but thankfully I always wore a long sleeved green tunic so no one saw. "There you are lad, was beginning to think you'd skip out on me." Gobber chuckled as I entered and tossing on my apron, tying it around my thin body.

I am 13 years old with auburn hair and forest green eyes. I'm not burly like the rest of my tribe, I'm a twig. Officially about 100 pounds even, and standing about 5 feet 2 inch. My name is Hiccup because its Viking tradition to call the runt of the litter a Hiccup also parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls. Must be working because I've never seen any. "I would never willingly miss a day to be here with you, Gobber." I replied to him.

"Awe lad, it means a lot to old Gobber that yew want to spend yer every wakin moment with me in 'ere." Gobber choked up wiping his imaginary tears. I rolled my eyes looking around at the work load for today, piled up at the front window and a line of at least 15 still waiting.

"Hurry up boy!" One Viking shouted at me. Gobber hobbled over pointing his hook hand at them.

"Listen 'ere yew. The lad just arrived. You'll get yer weapons when they are done, now drop off yer tings and move along." Gobber ordered, the men grumbled but did as they were told. This is why I liked being in the forge, it was hard work and dangerous but it kept me safe from out there. I immediately got right to work on fixing the easiest things which were bolas, daggers, hammers. Then I would work on sharpening axes, swords, and maces. When those were done an hour and 30 minutes later I gave them to Gobber smiling, "Done Gobber." I told him.

"Beard of Thor boy. Already?" Gobber blinked a few times looking at the carefully placed and laid out weapons on the finished work table.

"They were...easy fixes, Gobber. Just tweaks and sharpening...You know it doesn't take long..." I shrug a little.

"You'll make a great blacksmith one day laddie with that speed." Gobber chuckled, I beamed. I didn't receive many compliments but when I did, it felt good. "Why don't you go on deliveries today. You know who they belong to, go around and hand them out." Gobber smiled.

"N–no...its okay. I'll just stay in here and keep working..." I rejected quickly, a little afraid. Gods I hated deliveries, people looked at me with such disgust when I dropped off their things.

"Nonsense boy! Go on now." Gobber insisted. I sighed heavily nodding to him, I took off my apron then hung it on the hook. I couldn't refuse to do it without telling him why I didn't want too so best to suck it up and just get it over with. It was my birthday, maybe people would remember that. I loaded up everything on the cart the easiest way for me to just give people their things then leave again. I hated disorganization and Gobber knew that which is why he named me in charge of keeping weapons in the weaponry nice and clean.

Everything was where it should be in there. I had barrels to separate maces, axes, swords, double sided axes, and spears. There were shelves for hammers, ropes, and nets. Then bolas hung on the right wall, daggers on the left. It was perfect because I always knew where something was if someone needed it. In raids they'd come to me, and demand what they need. I'd have it to them in seconds. It was one of the better things I could do, Gobber was in charge of fixing weapons that were damaged while I did littler things. I kept track of the weapons in there, I knew every weapon by heart and how to craft it. It was up to me to keep the stock up, if I noticed something was lacking I'd tell Gobber and he'd have it ready they next day.

"I–I'll be back soon." I called as I picked up the two handles on the cart and started wheeling it through town. It was heavy, by all my years working in the forge paid off. I might of been skinny and looked like a fishbone but I still had some muscle. I just couldn't fight to save my life. I mumbled to myself while reaching where everyone was, I took a deep breath and put on a fake smile. "We–Weapons up!" I called out, I was nervous. Last time I did deliveries, I returned to the forge looking like I'd been through war and back. The people all began turn and walk towards the cart grumbling that I was out doing it.

"Where's my sword!" One demanded.

"And my mace." Another yelled.

"Eve–Everything is right on the cart..." I stammered meekly.

"Don't get smart boy..." Said the man who demanded the sword from me, I forced back the urge to roll my eyes at him and got his sword. He inspected it throughly before nodding and putting it away in his belt. "Looks good as new, that Gobber is a weapons miracle worker." The man laughed.

"Ac–actually...I–I'm the one who fixed it...I–I fixed all this stuff...Gobber's busy making weapons...I'm in charge of fixing and sharpening..." I said quickly.

"I find it hard to believe useless did all that work, he's taking credit for Gobber's work!" One woman yelled.

"N–No..I mean it...A–ask Gobber yourself...he watched me do it." I protest in fear of being hit.

"Can you prove it, useless?" Came Snotlout's voice.

"Under the guard, closest to the handle...my initials are engraved. Gobber doesn't mark his work...I do." I remarked mumbling. A few people took their weapons and looked closely under their handles and narrowed their eyes in anger but also defeat. I watched the rest of the crowd check theirs, more scowls. I knew what they saw, 'HHH III'. My initials standing for Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third.

"You are telling me useless made these weapons!?" Snotlout demanded angrily.

"You said you only fixed and sharpened them, not made them. You lied!" Astrid yelled now. I winced, great...even on my birthday I was going to get beat up just because I made their weapons. It was true, he wasn't supposed to make weapons but when Gobber got backed up he had to help him out. Why not, he was good at it after all.

"Look...Gobber's only one man. He can't keep up on everything during raids..." I say quickly. I watched people suddenly throw their weapons away, not wanting them because he'd made them. I saw Astrid trying to shatter her axe, I'd made it for her 10th birthday. She was getting frustrated because the head wouldn't break, I walked over and took it from her. "Here, let me help you." I grumbled.

"Psh, as if you can break an axe. You're weak, useless." I hear Tuffnut say.

"There's a reason your weapons that I made won't break..." I now raised Astrid's axe slightly with one hand then turned it only a few inches so it'd be on an angle then brought it down on the ground, shattering the metal head to pieces. I heard their mouths open with a gasp of shock. I lifted the wooden handle and snapped it over my knee. "And it's because you don't know the pressure points in them. Not even Gobber does...So go ahead and throw away your weapons just because I made them...I really don't care anymore. When you have nothing for the raid, you can explain to the chief why you refuse to use them...You can explain the village's destruction by dragons was because you refused to use weapons made by me...For once...it won't be my god damn fault." I'd had enough, I left the cart there and walked away. I wasn't dealing with it.

I returned to the forge angrily, fuming in fact. "Done already?" I hear Gobber ask.

"I am never...doing deliveries again. Ungrateful, unappreciative people...Throwing their weapons away because I made them..." I grumbled putting my apron on and getting to work. I felt Gobber's eyes on me, watching my every move. In my anger, my arm slipped and I slit my wrist on a sharp corner.

"Lad, lad! Easy..." Gobber instructed as he hobbled over to check my now bleeding wrist. I'd hurt myself before in the forge, normally I freaked out and looked for something bandage it until I could get to Gothi, the village healer and elder. But this time, it was different. I just stared at it absent mindedly, watching the blood seep from the wound and it was that moment when my anger seemed to fade, so did the pain of watching everyone toss my made weapons. Nothing...hurt. I was void. "Hiccup...wrap that before you bleed out, I don't want to explain to yer father you died on my watch..." Gobber told me handing me a rag.

'Like he'd care...' I thought as I took the rag and cleaned the blood then took another and wrapped my wrist.

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off lad, you can't work in here while you're mad..." Gobber offered softly.

"Yeah...thanks, Gobber...I'll just...go take a walk or something and come back when I calm down. I need to clear my head..." I replied then walked off.

"And see Gothi about that wrist!" He called to me, I gave a nod still walking. I had no destination while I walked through the village. I kept my head up, an annoyed look on my eyes and no emotion on my face. Why hide I was pissed and hurt? I glanced at the cart I'd left there and noticed people had picked up the weapons they tossed and no one seemed to be making eye contact with me anymore. I only scoffed irritated.

'They only picked them up because they knew my dad would be angry finding out they threw away good weapons and left the village defenseless for a raid just because they hated who crafted them. Hell, I even crafted my dad's axe and he knows I did but he never tossed it...Whatever...' I thought still walking silently. I stopped by the fish and fruit stands and grabbed a few things to eat, I paid for them and kept walking silently.

After walking far enough I was at the edge of the forest entrance, so I kept going. I just walked for hours, never said a word either. My wrist stung a little but honestly I didn't care, it felt good. I liked how it felt and I kind of wanted to feel it again. Pulling me from the thoughts I heard a roar and froze. Was there a dragon here? I cautiously kept walked until I found torn up ground, split trees, and more destruction. "What happened here..." I asked myself and kept going until I reached an area shielded by rocks, but a small enough opening for me to get in. I walked in and looked around it and then I saw it, my eyes widened to saucers seeing it in the cove. A dragon. A Night Fury. I couldn't believe it, what was it doing here? Night Furies were rarely seen and those who got this close were normally dead moments after. Not to mention, seeing one in the day time was unheard of.

I heard it roar again, but now seeing closer it wasn't a roar of anger. It was one of pain, I saw its wing bent and broken. It was hurt and couldn't fly out of the cove. I watched it laying near the lake trying to catch a fish but it kept failing. I knew it was weak, probably tired and hungry too. What did I do? Stay and help it? Go get someone? I went to leave, it was a dragon. Vikings hated dragons, we'd been at war for 300 years with them. As I turned, my foot slipped on the rocks and I fell back and down to ground level in the cove. "Ow..." I groaned.

I heard the dragon growl at me, hissing in anger. I froze slightly not moving, if it was going to kill me I didn't want to see it do it. Oddly enough, it never attacked me and when I went to look I found it closer to me only staring at me. "H–hi there mister Ni–Night Fury..." I said. "I–I didn't mean to bother you...I slipped in...I'll go." I told it as I went to get up. It crooned at me, and I blinked a few times, was it...trying to communicate with me? I heard a stomach grumble, it was the dragons. I felt bad, poor thing was hurt and couldn't hunt to survive. "Alright...ea–easy boy...y–you are a boy right?" I asked. The dragon seemed to give a nod with its head.

I reached in to my bag and pulled out 5 fish, they were the ones I bought earlier. I wasn't going to let it starve, it was hurt. I knew what it felt like to be defenseless against something I couldn't control. I laid them down on the ground and took a step back. The Night Fury looked at me, then the food a few times. "Its...okay. Go ahead...I don't need it. I have other food I can eat...You need it more...to get your strength back." I tried to smile at him. I watched the dragon crouch a little and start eating slowly. "I–I can get more if you want, I'll bring you food until you heal..." I offered. The dragon looked up at me and offered a gummy smile, it was small but I could see that he was trying to say that he was okay with that.

When he finished eating the fish I was sitting down eating an apple. I saw him inch towards me, sniffling curiously. His nose focused in on my arm, the one I'd cut earlier. I took the wrapping off and showed him, it was still bleeding a little. He looked at me, then my wrist again. "I–I got hurt earlier is all, I'll be okay. I'll heal...just like you." I forced a smile to him. The dragon to my shock started licking my arm along the cut, he stepped back once as I watched the bleeding stop and the wound start to close slowly. "Ca–can your saliva heal wounds?" I asked him. He nodded to me. "Wow...thanks..." I tell him.

"I can...help fix your wing...if you'll let me. Seems only fair that you helped me...I want to help you too." I smile. He seemed hesitant at first but then he laid down at my feet with his hurt wing out. I nod rushing to get the things I need to make a splint. I grabbed 4 large sticks and brought them over to his wing, I set them up how they needed to be then got a rope from my bag and began tying it. I stepped back after 15 minutes and smiled. "There you go, doesn't hurt as much right?" I asked him. He panted happily with his tongue out, and licked my face a few times. "Haha, stop it...stop it you toothless reptile!" I laughed.

"Toothless...Yeah...I like it. I'm gonna call you Toothless from now on. Well...I'm Hiccup. I feel bad just calling you dragon or Night Fury all the time..." I shrugged happily. I saw the dragon open its mouth and drop its teeth. "Wow...retractable teeth...that's amazing." I tell him smiling as I reach my hand out to rub his head, he growled a bit and I pulled back. He stood over me and coughed up half a fish in my lap, "Ew..." I stuck my tongue out at it. I watched Toothless sit back on his back legs and watch me curiously. I saw him eye the fish, then me again. "Y–you want me to eat it?" I asked, he nodded.

I lifted it to my mouth hesitantly, then took a bite and forced it down, as well the urge to hurl. I put the fish down and tried to reach for him. He backed up a little, I sighed softly. He didn't trust me that much yet, or maybe he did? I closed my eyes and turned my head from him, slowly putting out my hand. It took a moment but them I felt a dry, scaly nose press to my palm. I took a deep breath and turned my head to look. He had his snout to my palm and his eyes were closed. He trusted me, I had to trust him. This was a sign of mutual trust. I wouldn't hurt him and he wouldn't hurt me. It was this moment I understood that not everything was as it seemed. Dragons weren't bad or dangerous, just misunderstood. This was my proof, this dragon didn't kill me. It healed me, then let me help him. And now we trusted one another, as friends would. I finally had a friend and it felt great.

/End Flashback/

[Normal POV]

Since that day and every day following for two weeks, Hiccup returned to that cove and brought Toothless fish. They'd sit in the grass, and talk. Well, Hiccup talked and Toothless listened closely. But when the two weeks were up and his wing was healed, Hiccup knew he was leaving but had waited for him. Hiccup hugged him, telling him he'd never forget him and hoped they'd meet again, also thanked him for being such a good friend to him. The dragon took off that night just as the sunset and Hiccup hadn't seen him since. But he thought about him almost everyday, but kept it to himself. If anyone ever knew he'd befriended a dragon, a Night Fury...they'd probably throw him from the island or kill him and Toothless.

Hiccup didn't want his friend to be hurt so he'd never speak of those two weeks in the cove with Toothless. But he did hope one day they would see each other again. A lot of things changed in two years, Hiccup's depression worsening with every day it seemed. "Hiccup! Will you finish that sword please!" Gobber called to him.

"Yeah, on it. It's done." Hiccup yelled back as he pulled the sword from the grinding wheel and tossed it to Gobber. Hiccup sighed starting his next project, his sleeve raised slightly and he saw his arm. Cuts everywhere, some across and some running up and down. Ever since that first accidental cut in the forge 2 years ago, Hiccup started cutting every day on purpose too. No one knew about it either, it was his secret. He'd work his day, go home to eat, then go to his room and cut. He kept a knife hidden in his work desk that lifted up by hinges.

He never cut when Toothless had been there but after he lost his friend, he felt alone again because he had no one to talk too anymore. No one to tell about his day, so he found another way to release the pain he felt from being the village screw up and it involved slitting his wrists every night, bleeding until he felt dizzy, then wrapping them. He'd eat a little bread, and drink some water before going to sleep. Hiccup was now 15 years old, and weighed about 90 pounds. He stood around 5 feet 5 inches. He was still incredibly skinny, but that was due to barely eating anything because he hated eating in the mead hall with the others.

Hiccup kept to himself, he didn't talk to anyone except Gobber but most of that was sarcastic remarks that made them both laugh. Gobber was Hiccup's only friend in the village, but even the last two years changed that slightly. In the last two years, Hiccup contemplated killing himself many times, he tried a few times but always backed out because he felt it would hurt Gobber if he died. So last minute he'd back out, he always had a way too. If he cut, he'd just wrap it. If he tried to hang himself, he pulled his dagger from his belt and cut the rope. If he tried to poison himself, he'd throw it back up to get it out of his system. He even tried to drown himself once but ended up coming up for air.

But none the less, he hated his life on Berk. No one cared about him, no one would care if he was gone except Gobber. And that man was the only reason he was still alive now so as long as he could, he'd keep trying to hold on. But as we all know...everyone has a breaking point and Hiccup had just about reached his, it was only a matter of time.