Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of this work of fiction, and am not making a profit, monetary or otherwise, though the writing, and sharing, of this.
A/N: I started this a million (give or take hundreds of thousands) months ago. It started out with SpongeBob and Patrick Star, then I realized that the boys would still have to be teens, rather than adults, at the end unless I set this in the distant future, so, with Swifters' help (thank you) in choosing which characters to replace the 1999 cartoon characters with, I opted to go for Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear. I have made Danny two and a half - three years younger than Steve in this, and Mary about the same age as Danny, maybe a year older (sorry for messing with character's ages). This is silly, and fluffy, and the stuff that cavities are made of. I wanted a break from the angst of some of the other pieces that I've been working on. Microwave ovens started to become a popular buy in 1975 - you can find out more info about this invention on microwave masterchef dot com (if you are interested). There's a minor allusion to one of the museum movies that occurs toward the end of this. Oh, and this features Chin and John McGarrett as a couple. This is AU...both John and Chin are alive in it, though we only see adult Chin later in the story. Don't take this story too seriously. Suspend disbelief, and enjoy.
Steve can remember the first time that he met Danny. It was years ago. He doubts that Danny remembers it at all. He'd been a little boy at the time, maybe three, or four, years old at the most.
Steve remembers it like it was yesterday, though. He'd been five, almost six, years old, and his father and Chin had just started living together.
At the time, Steve hadn't thought much about it. His mother was gone, and Uncle Chin had moved in to help his dad with Steve and Mary. He hadn't known the two men were in love, and that what they were doing was controversial. It wouldn't be until years later that he'd realize just how brave his dads had been at the time, and, in many ways, still were.
Danny's hands are on his hips as he gives Steve an incredulous look, mouth opening and closing on words that are probably coming to mind too quickly for Danny to actually voice yet. Steve wants to smile as he's reminded of a much younger version of his partner, and lover. He doesn't. He values life too much to do that.
Still, as Danny finally finds his voice, hands flying as he rips Steve a new one for making yet another boneheaded, thrill-seeking, nearly life-costing move, Steve can't help, but think back to the day that Danny had initially, and quite literally, barged into his life.
Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was a hot day, and he couldn't wait to get into the water, but he had to wait for his dad and his Uncle Chin to get back from the car before he could do anything even remotely fun, and he was starting to get bored.
A little boy was walking in his direction, a determined look on his face. Mainlander, Steve thought. The boy's curly, blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin made him stick out like a sore thumb.
The boy made a beeline for Steve, who wasn't sure what to do as the little kid got right up into Steve's personal space, a huge smile lighting up his face as though he recognized Steve, though Steve had no idea who the little boy was.
"Hello, I'm Kermit the Frog, and you're Fozzie Bear," the little boy said, holding out a hand covered in melted ice cream and sand for Steve to shake.
"Go away," Steve said. "I'm not Fozzie Bear."
He puffed out his chest, and stood as tall as he could so that he towered over the little boy. He fisted his hands on his hips, and jutted out his chin, refusing to shake the little boy's hand.
The little boy tilted his head to the side and squinted up at Steve.
"I need you to help me build a sandcastle," the boy said, unperturbed by Steve's words, and posturing. It was like he hadn't heard anything Steve had said. He grabbed at one of Steve's fists, and pulled at it. Insistent in getting his way.
Steve sputtered, and tried to pull away from the little boy, but mini Kermit was stronger than he looked, and Steve had to follow the little boy if he didn't want to fall flat on his face in the sand. It wasn't fair that on the one day that he got to go to the beach without his little sister in tow, he ended up with another little kid to look out for. A bossy little kid.
"I don't want to build a sandcastle," Steve muttered, dragging his feet in the sand, hoping that it would loosen the boy's grip on him, or at least slow the little boy down. It didn't. He just sort of slid along in the hot sand behind the deceptively strong little boy.
The boy shrugged. "We can build a fortress, and you can 'tect it from dragons. You look big and strong."
Steve perked up at the thought of dragons. He liked dragons better than he liked Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear, anyway. Fortresses were much better than castles, too.
"An' I can keep all the bandits out to help keep the princess safe, so she can find her one true frog and kiss him to make him into a prince," the little boy said. "And then we can build a castle, 'cause they need a happily ever after place to stay, and 'cause the dragons are gonna destroy the fortress."
"Hey," Steve said, frowning. He pulled away from the little boy, scowling at him. "I'm not gonna let the dragons destroy the fortress. Besides, what if there's no princess to rescue at all, and there's just a prince hiding out in the fortress to keep all the yucky girls from kissing him?"
The little boy blinked at him, shrugged, and pulled at Steve's arm. It was clear that he had a destination in mind, and though Steve's Dad, and his work partner, friend, and lover, Uncle Chin, had told Steve to stay put until they returned with the sunscreen and the cooler, Steve didn't think they'd mind that Steve had followed after the little boy. After all, they were both policemen, and Steve's Dad was always telling Steve that he had to do the right thing and look after his little sister, Mary, especially now that their mother was gone. She'd left three years ago, when Steve was only three, and his sister was just a baby. Steve doesn't remember much about his mother, just that she, and his dad, had seemed unhappy, and they'd shouted a lot. His dad was much happier now that Uncle Chin had moved in. Steve was happier, too, even though he never got to see his mom. He liked Uncle Chin, and so did Mary.
This boy was littler than Mary, and Steve couldn't see the boy's family anywhere. He had a duty to perform in keeping the Kermit kid safe until he could figure out who he belonged to, and do the right thing - return the kid to his family.
"What's your name?" Steve asked the boy when they finally stopped walking.
The little boy had brought them to a relatively empty part of the beach where there was some wet sand. There were also some plastic tools for building sandcastles - a bright red pail and shovel, a yellow sieve, a blue trowel - along with a sandy towel that had characters from "The Muppet Show" plastered all over it. There was a beach ball and one of those tubes that kids used to float on the water with. Everything was "The Muppet Show" featuring Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear; clearly the kid was a fanatic.
The boy tilted his head to the side, and, still holding Steve's hand, he regarded the older boy with a scowl. "I already told you, I'm Kermit the Frog, and you're Fozzie Bear. We're bestest friends, an' we're gonna build a fortress so's we can rescue a prince, who doesn't want no yucky girls kissing him, from the bad guys and fire breathing dragons."
Steve sighed, and looked around the beach for any sign of the delusional boy's parents, and for his father, and Uncle Chin, who, in spite of Steve's intents, would not be happy if Steve wasn't where they expected him to be. He was going to be in major trouble if he didn't sort this out quickly.
Squatting so that he was at eye-level with the smaller boy, Steve tried to think about what he'd say to Mary if she was pretending to be one of her princesses, and pretending that Steve was one of her prince friends. "Okay, Kermit, but don't you think we should find your mom and dad first, make sure they know where you are so that they don't worry? And, my real name's, Steve, but you can call me Fozzie Bear, if you want to."
Steve hoped that the kid wouldn't want to call him Fozzie Bear. If he could be any character in that show, he'd rather be…almost anyone else, except for maybe Gonzo or Miss Piggy.
The kid smiled at him, revealing a twin set of dimples, and he jumped up and kissed Steve on the cheek, before letting go of Steve's hand, and cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting, "Mom, Dad! I'm gonna make a fortress wif my friend, Fozzie Bear!"
Steve felt his cheeks grow red, and he took a careful look around the two of them, hoping that the little boy hadn't drawn too much attention to them. It was embarrassing being kissed by a three year old who was nearly half his height, and then being around the kid when he shouted, and called him Fozzie Bear. If one of his friends from school had witnessed this, he'd be teased endlessly.
It didn't look like anyone had seen or heard the little boy, and Steve relaxed a little, though he was now worried that the little boy was lost, and that his parents were worried sick about him. Steve's worry was doubled when he noticed a couple coming toward them.
A woman with curly blonde hair secured underneath a wide brimmed hat made of straw was headed in their direction. She was walking briskly, and had a very unhappy look on her face that reminded Steve of the look his father got on his face just before he scolded Steve for doing something wrong, like the time he'd stuck one of Mary's dolls in the microwave, just to see what would happen. It hadn't been pretty, and Mary had cried, a lot. Steve had never been in that much trouble before, or since. It had been pretty cool, though. The doll's face had melted and twisted into something that looked like it belonged in a horror movie (not that Steve got to watch any horror movies, but, still...he'd seen a glimpse of one once, when he was supposed to be in bed).
A man was following the blonde woman, huffing and puffing as he tried to keep up with the smaller woman. He was carrying a beach bag that looked like it was overflowing with all of the stuff that tourists brought to the beach.
Mini-Kermit's blue eyes widened in fear, and Steve didn't think, he just reacted, putting himself between potential danger - the mad blonde, and the huffing puffing man headed in their direction - and the little boy who'd called Steve his best friend, and had dragged him down the beach to make a fortress out of sand.
Making sure that the little boy was behind him, shielded by his body, Steve stood to his fullest height, put his hands on his hips, and squared off with the angry looking woman. Had he been aware that the placement of his arms made him resemble Fozzie Bear when the character was telling one of his bad jokes, Steve would probably have chosen a different stance. As it was, the little boy hooked an arm around Steve's middle, and stuck his head through the gap that Steve's left arm made, so that he could carefully peek out at the man and woman without getting close enough to be grabbed.
"Daniel Williams, you get over here right this instant, young man," the angry blonde woman said. Her face was flushed, and she stabbed her finger in Steve and Daniel's direction as she spoke.
"Dan-no." Steve switched sentence mid-word when Daniel let go of him, and twisted away to go to the angry woman, who, though she wasn't very tall, still seemed to be towering over them.
Steve reached for Daniel and pulled him back behind him. Keeping a tight grip on Daniel's forearm, Steve ignored the smaller boy's struggles, and assessed the threat in front of them. Maybe if he was quick enough, he could get himself and Daniel to his father and Uncle Chin, and they could help sort this out. No way was he gonna let Kermit get spanked, or worse, on the beach.
"Where have you been, young man?" Mrs. Williams peered over Steve's head, and aimed a glare at the blonde that Steve was protecting.
"Your father and I have spent the better part of an hour scouring the beach for you," Mrs. Williams said, hands moving to punctuate words as she spoke.
She was practically vibrating with anger, and Steve could see that a vein in her forehead was throbbing. Steve felt Daniel tremble, and, though he didn't know exactly what the boy's mother would do to him, he wasn't willing to take any chances. Steve's father and Uncle Chin had recently rescued a little girl from an abusive home, providing temporary foster care for her until she could be placed somewhere more permanently. She'd reminded Steve of a frightened animal, skittish and fearful of everything.
"Steven!"
"Thank God."
His father and Uncle Chin had both spoken at once, relief evident in their tone of voice. His father reached Steve seconds before Uncle Chin, and, after doing an embarrassing head to toe check for injuries, he pulled Steve into a half hug, almost, but not quite, dislodging Daniel in the process.
"I'm fine, Dad." Steve shrugged out from underneath his father's arm and shook off the public hug. He was too big for hugs. He wasn't little like Mary, or like Daniel, who was still clinging tightly to Steve.
Uncle Chin had knelt in the sand beside Steve and Daniel, and was clearly assessing the situation at hand, eyeing the man, and woman that Steve had squared off against critically.
"What's the situation, Steve?" Uncle Chin asked, voice serious. He was looking at Steve, his own body shielding that of the little boy as well.
It felt good to be taken so seriously by his father's partner, by the man he called Uncle, but thought of as a second father, and Steve's chest filled with pride. "This is Daniel," Steve said. "He and I were-"
"Hi, I'm Kermit the Frog," Daniel said, interrupting Steve, and peeking around him to better see Uncle Chin.
He offered a grubby hand to the man. It was clear to Steve that Uncle Chin was amused. His eyes sparkled with humor, though he took Daniel's proffered hand, and shook it solemnly.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Kermit the Frog. My name is Chin Ho Kelly," Uncle Chin said.
Daniel smiled, and waggled his fingers at Uncle Chin. "Nice to meet you, Chin Ho Kelly. This is Fozzie Bear, but he's also Steve, and I'm also Danny Williams, an' we're gonna building a sand fortress for a prince who's hiding from princesses, 'cause he doesn't want any icky kisses." Daniel's hands moved, much like his mother's had, when he talked, and Chin smiled and nodded along as Danny spoke.
It was...cute, though Steve was loath to even think the word. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as his father talked with Mr. and Mrs. Williams. His father didn't look angry, or worried. He was nodding at something that Mrs. Williams was saying, and sharing a smile with the couple, and Steve sighed in relief. If his father looked so relaxed, that meant that Daniel's parents were probably okay.
"Daniel," Uncle Chin said, voice very serious.
Knelt down in the sand, he was looking Daniel right in the eye as he spoke. Steve's stomach twisted in sympathy, because he knew that whatever Uncle Chin was about to say, it was going to make Daniel feel guilty. At least when his Uncle Chin spoke to him like that, it made Steve feel guilty.
Daniel swallowed and the smile slipped from his face, he reached for Steve's hand, gripping it tightly. "Chin Ho Kelly," Daniel said the man's name like he was being handed down a death sentence, and bit his lip.
Steve could see his father, and Mr. and Mrs. Williams watching from the sidelines. They had smiles on their faces now, and were watching the proceedings with an almost amused look on their faces. Steve wasn't feeling happy, or amused. He wanted to hug Daniel, and help him build a sand fortress, and keep every single dragon away from it, and from Daniel. The feelings confused him, and Steve gripped Daniel's hand as tightly as he could, and stood side by side with the boy.
"You really scared your mother and father today," Uncle Chin said. "And, I know that you probably didn't mean to do that, am I right?"
Daniel's bottom lip was trembling, but the little boy nodded. His eyes were filling with tears, and Steve didn't want the little boy to cry, or be in a lot of trouble.
"It's dangerous to run off by yourself on the beach, Daniel," Uncle Chin continued. "Anything could have happened to you."
Danny's brow furrowed, and he frowned. He tilted his head to the side, and looked up at Steve, and then back at Uncle Chin. "But, I wasn't by myself, I was with my best friend in the whole wide world."
Steve remembers that day, almost like it was yesterday. He remembers the way that Danny's mom made a sound that was awful close to, aww, and that he'd felt the creeping warmth of a blush flood his whole body at the way that the little boy was looking up at him with trust, and love, and some kind of preternatural knowledge.
The two families had spent the rest of the day together, Daniel and Steve building the sand fortress, and splashing around in the shallow part of the water while the adults talked story. His father and Uncle Chin had invited the Williams over for a barbecue, and afterward, they'd returned to their hotel, Daniel fast asleep in his father's arms.
To Steve, the day had seemed almost magical, and in the years that followed, it had seemed nothing more than something that he'd dreamt.
"Are you even listening to me, Steven?" Danny asks.
He gets right up into Steve's personal space, just like he'd done that day at the beach, and Steve can't help it. He laughs, and then, before Danny can get that hurt look on his face, he kisses him.
"To be honest," he says, voice husky, "I only got maybe thirty, forty percent of what you said."
"Thirty, or forty percent..." Danny sputters, and his hands clench and unclench, and Steve wonders, briefly, if Danny's going to wrap his hands around his neck and strangle him.
"Unbelievable," he says, throwing his hands up in the air. "Un-fucking believable."
"Now, now, that's no way for Kermit the Frog to talk," Steve says, eyes going wide as he realizes what he's just said.
Danny's eyes take on a faraway look, and his brows furrow, and Steve has to catch him as his knees buckle.
"It was you," he breathes the words out. "Fozzie Bear..."
"Uh, yeah." Steve rubs the back of his neck, and doesn't meet Danny's eyes. "I didn't think you'd remember. You were, what, three, at the time?"
Danny shakes his head, and he smiles. "I never forgot...I just never put two and two together. Some detective I am."
"You're a fine detective, Danny," Steve says, crowding into Danny's space, so that he can place his hands on either side of the man's face, and drown out any remaining self doubt with a kiss that's designed to make Danny's toes curl.
"How come you didn't say anything?" Danny asks when he can breathe again.
"Didn't think you'd remember, and it kind of felt like a dream," Steve says.
"I thought I'd dreamt it, too," Danny says. "I'm glad I didn't."
"Yeah, me, too," Steve says, gripping Danny tightly, that protective urge he'd felt as a child resurfacing into something much stronger, and bolder.
"My dads didn't say anything, though I'm sure they remembered you. I think that's why pops recommended you for Five-0," Steve says, feeling like a weight's been lifted with that confession.
Danny shakes his head and chuckles. He grips Steve's hand tightly, like he had on the beach that day.
"Chin Ho Kelly," he whispers, and laughs. "I can't believe that I've been working with him all this time and I didn't remember..."
"To be fair, he was going by Chin McGarrett when you'd officially met him as an adult," Steve says, mollifying.
"Still...god, he must think I'm a complete-"
"Steve, Danny, I hate to interrupt your little bubble of love, but we have a case," Kono says, popping her head into the office door. The look on her face is smug, and unrepentant.
"Some days I wish we could go back to being Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear, building sand fortresses to keep princesses away from princes who weren't too keen on kissing princesses," Steve says wistfully.
Danny slugs him in the arm, and rolls his eyes, though he's smiling as he says, "Hey, I was going the more traditional route with the princess, and the prince, you were the one who thought kisses from girls was gross."
"Yeah, well they are," Steve says, sticking out his tongue. "Besides, I like kissing you better. My little frog prince."
"Who are you calling, little, gigantor?" Danny asks, nostrils flaring.
Before they can get into another argument, Chin clears his throat, and gives both of them that look that he'd given Danny all of those years ago on the beach. Both of them lower their gaze, and stop their bickering, though Steve reaches for Danny's hand and holds it, squeezing it tightly.