Disclaimer: I don't own Dungeons and Dragons. I don't own Living Greyhawk though either wish I did.

Misadventures of a Diplomat

A real and fictional tale

Katiana Nahalim Kudryo

Meetings

Festival today. I'm excited. I've never really been to a festival before today, so this is going to be exciting. My adventuring career is going well, though right now I think I've met some of the weirdest persons. I mean, there was this marshal that just confused the heck out of me with his sister. Or was it a she? I don't know it was hard to tell. I really don't care much anymore. I have a festival that I need to get to!

…

Games and games galore, some good wine and Three Dragon Ante, though the tables are full and I can't play. Sadness, but I'll deal. There's this weird priest walking around saying weird things too. I'm just ignoring him. I see a few people I recognize from adventures I've been on previous to today, but I don't know anyone that well. Apparently there are a lot of Halflings around today too. There's also this mob going around, apparently they're trying to open up some shop or something. I joined an Elven clan today as well, Clan Lleyluna. The perfect clan for a rogue like me, eh? I tried a game with throwing rings, but it didn't work out too well. I prefer a bow anyways. There was this ball game, one that really did test the hand eye coordination, didn't do too well. A memory game that I just really didn't get. Then again, I'm not as wise as some of the druids I see around here. I like the druids, outdoorsy types. I met a pair of them when I was helping the Guildsmen, which in the end really didn't work out as we gave what we were looking for to Calentir, a druid who was out in the forest. Ha, a druid in the forest, duh! Let's find another game, I'm getting bored doing nothing here.

"What's this game?" I asked.

"Well miss, you got to pick a card and then guess the price of the item on the card," the guy running it said. "Just put your name down and I'll get around to you." I signed my name down immediately just as this one guy comes up to me.

"Um…hello?" I ask.

"Hello, my name is Urrai Isalos, Scion of House Isalos," he said. "I was wondering if you could help me with something."

"Sure," I replied, unsure of what this guy wanted.

"See, I have all this money but I'm terrible at managing it, what do you think I should do with it?" he asked. Money? My ears perk up at this of course. I wish I was better at picking pockets, but as a diplomat I should be able to ask for what I want and get it too, right?

"Give it to those who need it," I said, thinking 'me' the entire time.

"Really?" he asked. "Is that the only thing that I should do with it?"

"Well, you can always invest it into some sort of trust fund or put it away for the future, sort of an insurance plan or something," I said. 'me, invest it in me!'

"Those are very good ideas! I could use someone to help me manage that, what do you say?" he asked.

"Beg pardon?"

"Help me manage things," he said. "I thought I was perfectly clear." Oh yeah, he was perfectly clear and I wanted nothing to do with him now. He was just trying to find a bride. Rich or not, he obviously wasn't too smart and he obviously was trying a bit too hard.

"Well, um…" I wanted to put him down gently, just because I wasn't the sort of type to be violent right off the bat with stupid rich hoity uppity people.

"Need some help getting rid of that guy Katiana?" a voice asked. I turned around to see a slightly messy wood elf with curly hair, a few leaves sticking out here and there, looking up at me. I turned around back towards Isalos but he had disappeared from sight. I quickly turned back towards my rescuer.

"Um, thanks…" I looked at him closely, I was sure I had seen him before. Hey, it was Sarvanik! It had to be, no one else survived in the wild that badly that I knew of. He was always dirty. "Sarvanik."

"Glad you remember my name," he said, grinning.

"Missy, it's your turn," a voice said and drew me back to the gaming table.

"Okay," I said, turning to face the game. The card was drawn.

"Merlyn's spoon," the man said. Wow, that sounded familiar.

"500 gold?" I asked tentatively.

"Sorry, wrong," the man said, "Game over for you." He turned to Sarvanik. "Ready to give it a try? Elven Harp."

"1 gold piece," he replied confidently. "Must be some piece of junk."

"Sorry there sir, wrong!" the man exclaimed and turned on to the next one in line. I recognized that person, Faralyn, he was a favored soul of…Ehlonna I believe.

I turned my attention back to Sarvanik. "What are you doing here Sarvanik?" I asked. "I came here for the Ante, but I can't get into a game."

"I was hoping to try the game out as well, but it seems the tables are really full," he replied.

"Yeah, and it looks like the wine is almost gone as well. For it being my first festival, this is starting to get a little boring. Is there anything else to do?" I asked.

"Not sure. Something may or may not happen," he replied. "I don't know. Haven't been to many festivals myself."

"But you've actually been to some then. This is my first one, and its fun at first but once you do everything…" I trailed.

"Yeah, I know," he replied. We sat down and chatted for a bit more, Faralyn coming in to chat with us as well. None of us had done well in a good majority of the games, although Faralyn said something about a high score and winning a few free cantrips. Woo ho, a few free cantrips. Of all the useless things.

"HALFLINGS ATTACK!" A voice cried. We turned from our seats and saw a number of the Halflings in the area throwing powder at several people and they all began to shrink! What's going on here?

"Seems like Terrorists to me," Sarvanik whispered.

My chaotic tendencies tingled. "Sweet."

"Hey, leave the terrorists to the guards," Faralyn said. "We're being called, all the elves are, we're supposed to report to our clans."

"What?" I took a longing look back at the Halflings who were now making their getaway and then followed after Sarvanik and Faralyn, reluctantly.

"What clan are you in?" I asked Faralyn, "I'm in Lleyluna."

"Not in that one," Faralyn replied with a smile and a laugh. "I think I might be the only one in my clan here too."

"I'm in Lleyluna," Sarvanik stated.

"Good, so then I won't be alone. I have no clue what's going on," I said.

"If it's anything diplomatic I won't want to do anything," he said. "I don't know what's going on either."

"Diplomatic I think I can handle," I said thoughtfully. "It's my specialty."

"Ah, so you're not that kind of rogue, are you?" he asked.

"No, I'm not THAT kind of rogue. I'm a diplomat," I said. "And I'm not very strong. I can only wonder what'll happen to me on one of the adventures."

"Like death?" Sarvanik asked. Faralyn has left to see if he was the only member of his clan there or not.

"Yeah, well, I just am not meant to be in the frontline of battle," I said. "I'm a rogue, not that kind of rogue, and I'm really not much for battle."

"Well, you don't have to worry then, I'll protect you!" Sarvanik declared.

"Say what?" I asked.

"I'll protect you. Every diplomat needs a bodyguard, right?" he asked and I nodded slowly. "So then it's decided."

"But…" I began.

"No buts," he said. "I've made up my mind."

"You're weird. And your short," I pointed out.

"I'm an elf. You, on the other hand, are just tall for an elf. And I may be short, but I am strong," he said. "I hit hard."

"And you've taken hits too," I said. "I've seen you get hit hard."

"Could you have taken those?" he asked and I shook my head. "So I take the hits you can't, keep me alive and up and I'll protect you. Just shoot from the shadows."

"All right then, it's a deal," I said. "But on one condition."

"What's that?"

"I'm gonna find a way to make myself strong too," I declared. "So you won't have to protect me all the time. When you need it, I'll be able to protect you."

"Well, we'll see about that," he said.

"Hey, I mean it Sarvanik!" I exclaimed.

"I don't doubt you'll find something," he said. "Just make sure you don't let me kill all those diplomats when you're in a meeting or something just because they're being stupid, all right?"

"You have anger management issues," I said.

"Yeah, unattended rage does that to ya," he replied with a grin.

"We better hurry, time to meet with our clan," I said.

"Faralyn's standing on his own?" Sarvanik asked.

"He must be the only one here, poor guy," I said. "But hey, if Isalos causes any more trouble for me, let me be the one to beat him senseless."

"Sure about that?" Sarvanik asked.

"Hell yes," I replied. "That guy's someone who deserves to get the crap kicked out of him. If he can't manage his money then he deserves to have it stolen too."

"Ah, so you really are that kind of rogue," Sarvanik said.

"NO I'M NOT!"