A/N: So I was just sitting around one day and a thought occurred to me. How would Mario react if he were to receive a mail about the last double point sale to be held before the end of his adventure in the middle of an important battle? And what if he was like me and had to rush off to the sale, no matter where it was or what he was doing at the time? Then this was spawned. Enjoy!
Mario was facing off against Gloomtail with Goombella faithfully at his side. The battle was ferocious as swipes were blocked and breath attacks were artfully dodged.
Mario found a break in Gloomtail's attack pattern and clutched his golden Ultra Hammer, running forward to deliver a well-aimed whack right to Gloomtail's snout. The large dragon hardly seemed to flinch at the smack though and simply shook it off as Goombella tossed a Boo Sheet at Mario, making him invisible and impervious to any future attacks made by the dragon.
"Good thinking Goombella," Mario complimented as Gloomtail went in to stomp Mario, but completely missed. "If we can just keep this up, we'll have him down in no time."
Before Mario could make his next attack though, he heard a familiar ringing and felt a vibration in the pocket of his overalls. His Mailbox SP received a message in the middle of battle, a most inopportune moment for it to happen, but he felt he had to check it to see if the message was anything urgent.
He whipped out his Mailbox SP and muttered the message it contained to himself. His invisible jaw dropped as both Goombella and Gloomtail wondered what he was doing.
"Mario, what's going on?" Goombella asked impatiently. "Make your move, fast! I think someone in the audience just left, and somebody else is about to throw something!" Goombella looked into the audience a little bit closer. "Oh wait, it's a coin.... Well, talk about useless, but it's nothing bad at least."
"Well fine, if that's how you feel about it..." the audience member muttered, putting the coin back away.
"I just got the Rogueport Newsletter's last mail," Mario explained, invisibly turning to Goombella, forgetting she couldn't see him. "Fahr Outpost is having a double points blowout sale for the next fifteen minutes! Goombella, we have to hurry!" Goombella, Gloomtail, and most of the two hundred member audience stared at where they thought Mario stood in astonishment.
"Mario, I don't think right now is the best time to be worrying about that!" Goombella said. "We're locked in combat with Gloomtail here!"
"We can beat this guy in three turns," Mario said, offending Gloomtail quite a bit. "Come on Goombella, we have to go, there's no time! There won't be any more double point sales after this!"
"We literally can't leave though Mario!" Goombella argued. "This is a key battle and we're not allowed to run away!"
"Ah, freakin'...okay fine!" Mario gave in invisibly. He tucked the Mailbox SP into his pocket and apparently turned back to Gloomtail. "Goombella, toss me a Power Punch after I make my move, then the next two turns, use your Rally Wink on me okay? We'll take this guy down fast and go be a part of the double point goodness!"
"Gotcha!" Goombella agreed, though she rolled her eyes at Mario's eagerness to get to the sale.
Mario summoned a grid out of midair for his Power Lift technique and expertly targeted down every single defense and offense enhancement that appeared, increasing his attack and defense to that of a brick wall with bulky arms wearing boxing gloves. Goombella followed her command and tossed him a Power Punch, invisibly making him several times his original height and giving his metaphoric boxing gloves some brass knuckles and spikes for good measure.
Knowing that he couldn't hurt Mario in his invisible state, Gloomtail went for a breath attack to at least get Goombella, but she managed to superguard at just the right time, leaving her perfectly unscathed.
Mario, taking advantage of his invisibility, switched out all of his current badges for every Power Plus he had as well as the Jumpman badge. Doing this mid-battle was against the rules, but he was in a hurry and nobody could see him do it anyway.
Now, with his tremendously heightened power, he ran forward and Power Bounced on Gloomtail for quite a while, connecting his boots with Gloomtail's head several times before coming down for a landing. Goombella used her Rally Wink on him and he did his attack all over again. By the time Mario was done with his assault, Gloomtail felt greatly weakened and began to breathe rather deeply.
"What the heck?" he muttered with his booming voice. "I didn't know a human could be that powerful."
"Then you obviously don't know Mario!" Goombella shouted in return. A few audience members appreciated the nice comeback and tossed forward some star power, earning them a glare from Gloomtail.
Mario popped back into visibility and Gloomtail immediately went in to stomp him. Mario managed a superguard, counterattacking the irked Gloomtail.
Two more Power Bounces during his next opportunity to attack and Gloomtail was down, finished in three turns, just as Mario promised.
The experienced gained from the battle managed to power up Mario, making him receive his usual standing ovation and the option of which part about him he wanted to enhance. Without thinking, Mario simply shouted out "I wanna wear more badges!" and ran off the stage as quickly as he could.
As he dashed to exit the large chamber in which he was forced to battle the dragon, Luigi strolled up, looking at the cheering crowd before him. He watched his brother run towards him and raised his hand.
"Hey bro, sorry I'm late, I came as fast-"
As Mario ran, he clutched his hammer and swung it at his tardy brother, sending him flying into the previously broken fourth wall that Frankly, Goombella, and Crump all ignored throughout the adventure.
"Must...make it...to...Fahr Outpost...!" Mario said between pants as he ran with his arms sticking to his sides, providing no pumping action whatsoever to make him move forward more quickly.
The shadow palace was thoroughly empty, which was a good thing, as anyone standing in Mario's way would be hammered into oblivion. He was a driven man, and he had to make it to Fahr Outpost, no matter what.
He was soon back in the Rogueport sewers and ran into Frankly along the way.
"Mario, you have to know, that wasn't really-"
"I know Frankly; that was Doopliss!" Mario said as he hammered the old Goomba out of the way. He gave an incredible leap up onto the platform leading to the Pit of 100 Trials, where he found a crying Toad kid.
"Mister Mario, my daddy's stuck-"
Before the kid could finish, Mario leaped into the pipe leading down and emerged several seconds later, throwing the kid's father at him.
"There's your dad kid, and while you're in town, tell whoever wanted that graffiti cleaned up that it's done and you may as well spread around that Bonetail's dead now too."
With that, Mario gave a jump that seemed to shoot himself upward like a bullet through the ceiling of the room.
He exploded into the area with flowing sewage water above, grabbed the Koopatrol charging to attack him, and chucked him at the Magikoopa on the floor above as he ran by, entering the pipe leading further up.
Here, a Hammer Bro chucked his endless supply of hammers, which Mario grabbed and used to blast the Koopa away before jumping up to a high platform on the far left side of the room and running through the low doorway, leading him to the pipe that would take him to the outer, snowy limits of the world.
This was the final stretch. Fahr Outpost was now a direct shot away, and, despite a few futile attempts by Puffs to impede his way, he made it to the quaint shop, thoroughly out of breath, but ready to shop to his heart's content.
"Welcome!" the Bob-Omb shopkeeper greeted heartily. Mario smiled at him warmly.
"Is your double point sale still going on?" he asked, looking at the merchandise before him.
"For a few more minutes," the shopkeeper answered. Mario nodded eagerly, clasping his hands together as he looked at what he wanted to buy.
"Shooting Star...Ultra Shroom...Jammin' Jelly...all such good selections," he mumbled as he looked around. He stopped in front of a Jelly Ultra and asked for its price.
"One hundred coins," the shopkeeper answered. Mario checked his manly coin purse.
"What can I get for ten coins?" he asked.
"For ten coins, I can give you a regular Mushroom," the shopkeeper answered, pointing out a shelf of dusty Mushrooms behind the selection of the better items. Mario grabbed one and inspected it carefully, blowing some of the dust off of it.
"And this brings a little of my vitality back if I get hurt?" Mario asked, as if he didn't already know the answer.
"Yes sir," the shopkeeper said. Mario nodded and decided to buy the Mushroom. He gave the Bob-Omb the ten coins and his shop points card to register the rewarded points. The Bob-Omb added the points to the card and noticed Mario accumulated enough for a free prize.
"You get a free Mushroom as a prize for the points you've collected!" the shopkeeper said, giving Mario a second Mushroom. Mario happily accepted the item and tossed it into his item bag.
"Yes!" he said excitedly. "Finally, my points got me a free prize! And my partners said it'd be a waste of time to attend these sales. Pfft."
"I'm glad I could be of assistance sir," the shopkeeper said happily. Mario nodded to him shortly before leaving.
–
"Where the heck is Mario!?" Koops shouted, barely dodging an attack aimed at him during a battle with a Wizzerd. Goombella dragged Koops out to be her battle partner after being ambushed, and he reluctantly complied as he was forced to fight alongside her.
"I dunno!" Goombella said angrily, Multibonking the Wizzerd several times before coming down to land. "But it's not helping the situation at all!"
Goombella was critically hurt, as Koops constantly forgot to switch places with her in the heat of the battle. Koops used his Shell Shield, hoping to keep Goombella safe from the oncoming attack, but, in his panic, he aimed for the shell to drop almost on its side, cracking rather badly before settling over Goombella.
The Wizzerd soon launched a massive attack that struck both Goombella and Koops at once. Koops came out of the attack fine, but the shell over Goombella broke easily and she was soon panting heavily, having her health deteriorate to a perilous level.
Out of the blue, and performing a somersault as he did so, Mario dropped down from the rafters, posing and giving a thumbs up for the audience to attract a couple new members and receive a bit of star power at the same time. Koops was allowed to stand the battle out and the crowd was ecstatic to have Mario back, but Goombella glared at him.
Mario tossed a Mushroom at her, regaining a bit of her health as it made contact. Mario smiled smugly as Goombella scowled at him.
"Just in the nick of time, the mushroom I got bought from the double points sale saves the day!" Mario announced with much gusto. His celebration was cut short however, as Goombella Headbonked him with all her might.
"What the heck Mario!?" she shouted. "We nearly died without you!"
Before Mario could speak, Goombella was hit dead on by another magical attack from the Wizzerd, sending her back in to critically low health. Mario took note of this and threw the second Mushroom at her.
"And again, I save the day!" Mario announced once more. "That Mushroom was the one I got for free with my shop points. Are they so useless now?"
"Mario, if you'd never left, we wouldn't be in this predicament right now!" Goombella argued. Mario appeared to ignore her.
"It's okay Goombella, no need to feel silly now," Mario said. "I forgive you. Now come on, let's get this journey over with!"
"Ugh!" Goombella grumbled, giving up. All she could do now was continue with the adventure and hope Mario didn't get any more of his useless urges.
Little did she know that Koopook would soon send a challenge to Mario via the Mailbox SP, urging him to go on a hide-and-seek adventure...