Okay! I had to do this!

I've been feeling very sad recently and I really needed to write it down.
This fic is dedicated to my Mom and to all those who lost their own mothers unexpectedly.

The song I am using in this story is from the Chipmunks movie, sung by the Chippetes.

I couldn't bring myself to celebrate Mother's day this year...:(

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The month of May was a month that every woman who ever had offspring looked forward too. That one special Sunday that was all about them and what they deserved. Breakfast in bed, flowers, hugs, kisses, cards...whatever their kids or husbands could afford to give them.

Sam and Ron Witwicky were planning to take Judy to her favorite restaurant after giving her presents and her much wanted hugs and kisses. Judy was getting very excited...she always made sure her boys got her what she wanted.
'Well, Sammie...I carried your kicking fetus self in me for nine months...so get me a nice gift or I'll your friends your baby pictures!'

That threat seemed to work every year!

But there was one person who never looked forward to this time of year...a certain young girl with interesting hair and style. Tai never celebrated this particular holiday. Why should she? It wasn't like she didn't love her Aunt Jude or any of her foster mothers over the years, but it felt wrong to get them cards on a day that didn't really belong to them in her point of view.

Before her father died, they would always go visit her grave and place a single pink tiger lily on her tombstone. But ever since he died, she never went anymore. She didn't even acknowledge the fact that it was Mother's day.

'Hey Tai-dye!' Sam exclaimed with a big smile. Tai was outside giving Blurr a wash, his charger mode was covered with dirt and dust from a late night joy ride. She looked up at her cousins voice and Blurr honked in a greeting.

'What up, cuz?' She smiled, wiping the sweat off of her forehead with her free hand.

'I need to get my mom a gift and a card...I need a girl to go with me!'

Her smile faded very slightly. 'Why can't Mikaela do it?'

'She's with her Mom in California, so she can't go...' Sam shrugged. 'Come on Tai, it'd be fun!'

Tai grimaced, and looked away. 'Aw Sam, I don't...I don't know...' Blurr nudged her from behind, nearly knocking her into the bucket of dirty soapy water.

'Come on, please...' Sam got down on his knees and gave her the Boo-boo face. 'Please...please...'

Tai quirked his eyebrow and groaned loudly. 'Okay fine...jeez!'

They both arrived at the local Hallmark in both of their respected guardians.

'What is going on?' Bumblebee asked Sam in confusion through his blue tooth.

'Shopping for my mom.' Sam answered, looking through the many pink cards that lined the shelves.

'How come Tai isn't as excited as you seem to be?'

'Well I wouldn't say I'm excited, but as for Tai, well...this day was always hard for her growing up...' Sam sighed sadly, glancing over at his cousin who was looking at the beanie babies.

'Because of her own mother?' Bee whispered in a sad tone.

'Yeah, she never got to know her...' Sam couldn't help but feel sad for her. He remembered when they were in Kindergarten, all the kids were making cards for their mom's while Tai made one for her Dad. The teacher just smiled and than lifted it up to show the class. That's when Trent DeMarco and Tai became arch enemies. He than made a smart ass comment, which resulted in him being sent to the nurses office with a bloody nose and Tai being put in time out. She didn't care though.

Deciding to change the subject, he picked out a funny singing card and made Bumblebee listen to it.

Tai, meanwhile, glanced over at Sam looking at the cards and sighed. Picking up another beanie baby she wanted, she sighed again. 'What'swrongTai-dye?' Blurr asked over her blue tooth.

'Oh...you know, the usual whenever this stupid holiday comes around..' She grumbled, kneeling down to look at the bigger beanie's.

'AwcomeoneTai,don'ttalklikethat...thisholidayisforyourmom...'

'No.' She said shortly. 'This holiday is for kids who have Mom's...'

'YouhaveanAunt...' Blurr tried to reason with his stubborn little surrogate sister.

'I know and I love her...but she's not my Mom...like Uncle Ron isn't my dad, even though he looks exactly like him...' Tai picked out a couple of more and went to the register.

'Irealizethismaybepushingitsweetie,butmaybethisyear,youshouldgotoyourmother'sgrave..itmightbegoodforyou...'

Tai nearly yelled out in frustration but quickly stopped herself. 'No, I am not going...' She spoke in a voice that clearly left no room for argument.

'Whynot?' Blurr asked in confusion.

'Because I have things to do...' She smiled in thanks at the checker and headed outside to wait for Sam.

'Likewhat?' He asked this time in an annoyed voice.

'Things okay!' She snapped, hanging up on him. She looked up when she heard a car alarm go off and she knew it was Blurr.

She sighed in defeat and looked back down at her brightly painted toenails. 'What's the big deal?' She muttered to herself. 'So what if I don't want to visit my Mom's grave? I have good reason...cemeteries are too depressing, everyone there is dead...' Another one of the main reasons is because her Dad was buried next to her.

So was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice a certain bright blue charger driving away.

Blurr was incredibly confused and shocked by Tai's behavior. She was so stubborn, and when she didn't want to do something, she would not do it.

He really wanted her to go visit her parents graves.

He needed advice and he needed it now.

He needed to see Optimus.

Meanwhile at the base.

For the first time in a long time, Optimus Prime and his team were actually able to relax. The twins, Jazz, and Ironhide were in the shooting range, Ratchet was in his med-bay, and Optimus was just relaxing in the recreational room.

His relaxation was cut short when he felt an energy signal closing in. 'Designation: Blurr. Closing in.' The voice of Teletran 1 echoed around the room.

The bright blue form of Blurr's charger mode came skidding in, leaving a trail of fresh tire marks and a cloud of white smoke. His intelligence officer transformed into his true form and stopped in front of him.

'Sir,Ineedyourhelp! It'sveryurgent! Mother'sdayiscomingupandTaiwon'tgotohermother'sgraveandIdon'tknowwhattodo!'

'Blurr..Blurr...' Optimus quickly stood up and placed his hands on the speedsters shoulders. 'Calm down! Now what is the problem?'

Blurr sighed through his vents, trying to relax. 'Mother'sdayiscomingup...it'sahumanholidayforthemothercreaterandTaihasnotgonetovisithermother'sgraveinyears...shewon'tdoit! Idon'tknowwhattodo!'

'She won't visit her mother's grave?' Optimus asked in slight alarm. 'Well why not?'

'Idon'tknow...' He sighed. 'Shejustwon'tgo...sherefuses...'

'When was the last time she went?'

Blurr thought about it. 'Well,I'dsaybeforeherfatherwaskilled...' A thought suddenly hit him. Of course, now he understood. He felt completely stupid and irresponsible for not noticing it before.
Optimus nodded his head. 'Well I think you just solved the problem.' He sat back down on the couch. 'Maybe she is afraid to face her past by herself. Suffering two devastating losses is much to much to handle for one so young as her.'

'Soyouaresuggestingsomeonegowithher?' Blurr asked.

'I say we all go with her, show her she is not alone.' Optimus said with a sad look in his optics.

Blurr thought about it. 'SomeguardianIam...Ineverthoughtaboutthat...'

'Now Blurr, you mustn't say things about yourself...you are an excellent guardian to her. You have gone above and beyond ever since the death of her father, and I can tell she cares very deeply for you.'

Blurr smiled slightly. 'Gettinghertogowon'tbeeasy.'

'That is why I think we should get someone who is very close to her...human close.'

'Sam.' They both said at the same time.

Sam was just paying for the flowers and the card when his phone rang.

'Excuse me.' He said to the checker and answered. 'Speak.'

'Hello Sam.' The deep regal voice of Optimus said from the other line.

'Whoa. Optimus..' He whispered in amazement. Only two things came to his mind when the Autobot leader himself called his cell phone. Something really good happened or something really bad happened. Hopefully, it was the first thought. 'What's up?'

'I am calling in regards to this holiday coming up.' He explained.

'Mother's day?' Sam asked in confusion. 'What about it?'

'It seems we may have a problem with Tatyana. Blurr has told me she hasn't been to visit her Mother's grave since the death of her father. We came up with the idea that all of us go with her. Maybe you can bring her by and we can all try to convince her?' Sam listened intently. Truth be told, he had been worrying about this day every year for the past ten years. Tai never did anything for Mother's day anymore, maybe this would help her.

'Sure...it won't take much convincing to get her to go over there, she loves it there. We'll be there in a few. See ya!'

He hung up, paid for his items, and headed outside and saw Tai eating a vanilla ice cream cone.

'Hey Cous, wanna go to the base?' He asked out of the blue. She looked up mid lick.

'Of course! Blurr just ditched me; maybe he's there...so I can yell at him.'

They both reached Bumblebee and Sam gently placed the bouqet of roses in the trunk along with the stuffed Chihuahua and card.

'To the base Bee...Optimus called.'

'Okiely dokiely.' He said, borrowing the voice of Ned Flanders from the Simpsons.

The drive there was pretty eventful. Tai insisted that the radio be turned up to ear shattering levels as they listened to Saliva or Linkin Park. During one particular moment, Tai literally had her head out of the window and yelled out during the yelling part in one song. Sam thought his heart stopped. Bumblebee nearly slammed into a minivan in alarm.

The familiar building of the Autobot base came into view a few minutes later. When Bee stopped, Tai bolted out, head banging to the music and jumping up and down.

'Hey!' Jazz laughed, joining in as well. Blurr smiled at his charges silliness and kneeled down next to her. 'IamsorryIleftyouTai.'

Tai wanted to be mad at him, but of course, she just couldn't bring herself to be. 'It's all good, big guy...sorry I hung up on you.' She hugged his leg.

Optimus came in with Ratchet, Ironhide, and the twins. He had explained everything to them, and shockingly, they all agreed to help out. Even Sunstreaker.
'Hello young ones.' The leader greeted with a friendly smile. Bumblebee waved jovially as did Sam and Tai.

'Ahh Tatyana, I'm very glad you are here.'

Tai raised an eyebrow but grinned. 'Really? Why's that?'

'We would all like to talk to you..' Ratchet said in a surprisingly soft tone.

'Is this some sort of intervention?' Tai asked, giving them a look of suspicion. 'If it is, you all are wasting your time...I am no druggie...'

'No! No...we all just want to talk you..' He sighed in annoyance.

'Okay...shoot...' She quickly glanced at Ironhide. 'Not literally!'

'I was informed about this holiday coming up, and well...we were very worried about you...'

Tai's facial expression changed from confused to outraged. 'Ohh..Ohhh...' She than laughed a very forced laugh. 'This is clever...this was some sort of meeting about 'Mother's day' and why I don't celebrate.' She than started backing away. 'Unbelievable! Totally and completely unbelievable!'

'Tai wait!' Sam ran in front of her before she could get very far.

'Sam, get out of my way.' She said in a very angry tone.

'Oh man, she sounds pissed...' Jazz muttered to Optimus. 'I knew this was a bad idea boss-bot...'

'No, we have to stay firm..' Optimus whispered back fervently.

'No! I am not getting out of the way!' Sam snapped back. 'You need to talk about this!'

'There's nothing to talk about!' Tai snapped right back at him, turning away. Sam grabbed her arm before she could get any farther.

'Yes there is!' He was not going to let this go, not this time. 'We all think it would be a decent thing to do to go see your Mom's grave!'

Tai's blue eyes once again changed to the bright lightening blue. 'I already said I had stuff to do!'

Sam laughed even though there was no humor at all. 'That is bullshit and you know it! You have nothing do, all you are going to do is pretend this day doesn't exist! Newsflash Tai, it does exist! It's not going to go away just because you wish it would! Why don't you stop being selfish and just go to the damn cemetery?!'

Tai's angry expression faltered a bit but not to much. 'You think I'm selfish?'

'Yeah! You're selfish!' Sam yelled, shocking all of the bots. 'Your mother gave her life for you and you can't even go see her and thank her! Just what are you so afraid of?!'

'I'm not afraid of anything!' Tai shouted, tears starting to form in her eyes.

'Cut the tough act crap! Fear is a normal emotion! Everyone feels it! Even you Tai, believe it or not!' Sam let go of her arm and took a deep breath to calm himself down.

'What are you afraid of? Just tell us! Tell me!'

Tai closed her eyes and took a deep shaking breath. 'You really want to know? Alright, I'll tell you! Going to the cemetery means reliving what happened that day!' Sam's expression softened. 'It makes me think...Who else am I gonna lose?! First I lost my Mom, than my Dad...whose next?' She turned to Sam and the bots sharply; tears were streaming down her face. 'You? Aunt Jude? Uncle Ron? Mikaela? Blurr? Any of them?' She pointed to the bots. 'I can't handle anymore loss!' She than did something that broke everybody's heart or spark. She fell to her knees and started to sob incredibly hard.

Blurr made a move to comfort her but was stopped by Optimus, when he gazed at his leader confused, he simply said. 'Let Sam do it this time, my old friend.' He than gave Jazz the same look, who immediately sank down.

Sam's heart broke at the sight of his sobbing cousin. He had only seen her cry like this a few times...it killed him.

Kneeling down in front of her, he placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly stood her up. 'Sorry I yelled at you like that, Tai-dye...I know how hard that was for you to admit that.' She nodded, hiccupping slightly with after sobs. 'I still think you should go...we were all going to come with you...if you still want us too.' She looked up at that, tears staining her cheeks. 'You don't have to be alone...because you're not...'

He gently wiped away a stray tear. 'What do you say? Will you go?'

Sobbing to hard to talk right, she just nodded and than started to cry harder if possible. Sam than hugged her tightly and she buried her face in his shoulder.

All the Autobots could do was stand there and listen to her sobbing. Optimus gave her the look of a very concerned father, Ratchet checked her vitals to make sure her heart rate wasn't increasing and to make sure she was alright, Ironhide was caught between anger at Sam for yelling at the poor girl and sadness for the poor scared teenage girl, Jazz felt his spark shatter at the sight of his beloved tai crying so brokenly, Bumblebee clicked sadly, while the twins just stood there with concerned looks on their faceplates.

They had never seen Tai like this ever...they all (even Sunstreaker) considered the human girl a little sister or in Optimus's case, daughter.

Although Sunny would never admit it out loud.

After a bit, Sam pulled away and stroked her hair back. 'Come on..we'll all go now...'

'Not yet..' She whispered, drying her eyes on her sleeve. 'I need to make a couple of stops first..'

Half an hour later, after making sure no one was anywhere near the graveyard, the group arrived near where the two other Witwicky parents were buried. Judy and Ron decided to join them as well.

Tai just sat in Blurr for a few minutes, trying to compose herself. She felt the seatbelt tighten around in the car's way of a hug.

'It'sokaysweetheart...' Blurr's voice whispered through the radio.

'I know.' She whispered, opening the door and getting her guitar out of the trunk along with another little thing that was in a bag.

She heard Blurr transform, along with all the others. She walked over to Sam and his parents. She was immediately embraced by Judy. 'You are doing such a brave thing.' She whispered in her ear. 'Our brave girl.'

That made Tai smile slightly as she pulled away.

She turned back and saw Optimus smiling at her. 'Go on, little one...we're all right here..'

With a big shaking breath, she started up the hill to two beautiful marble tombstones.

She stopped when she reached the one tombstone that had a beautiful angel with an upturned face.

On the plaque read:

Rowan Tatyana Murphy/Witwicky
Loving wife, mother, and friend.

She will be missed.

Kneeling down, she gently ran her ring covered fingers down the smooth marble.

'Hi Mom...it's me, Tai...I know it's been a long time, I hope you're not disappointed in me.' She felt tears come to her eyes and she angrily wiped them away. 'Dammit Mom, why'd you have to die?! I never got to meet you...Dad always said how amazing and brilliant you were...why'd you have to go and sacrifice yourself?!' She felt more tears streaming down her face; she didn't even attempt to wipe them away. 'I know that's the Witwicky motto but dammit, I want you and Dad back...'

She leaned her head against the cool marble and cried softly. 'I remember this movie Dad and I used to watch all the time...there was this song, it always made me cry...it still does...' She sat up and placed her guitar around herself. 'I taught myself how to play it...I hope you like it...'

Sam and everyone else watched in interest at what she doing, they all than heard the soft sounds of her guitar being strummed and than the soft singing tone of her singing.

'It's hard to remember
A summer or winter
When she hasn't been there for me

A friend and companion
I can always depend on
My mother
That's who I mean'

She sang it so beautifully that is pained everyone who was in listening range, even the battle hardened twins and Ironhide. Sam felt tears come to his eyes as his mother cried openly and his dad just rubbed her back comfortingly.

I've taken for granted
seeds that she planted
She's always behind every thing

A teacher a seeker
A both arms outreacher
My mother
That's who I mean

Blurr felt energon tears run down his cheekplates. He than realized how much he missed Rob and Rowan, they were two beautiful soles that were cut short by some pit-slagging con with no remorse. It was amazing how much Tai was like her mother; beautiful, honest, and talented in so many ways. But her personality was all her father; her sense of humor, her sharp wit, and her caring ways.

He loved her more than he has loved anyone before.

Wish I could slow down
The hands of time
keep things the way they are
If she said so
I would give her the world
If I could... I would

My love and my laughter
From here ever after
Is all that she says that she needs

Optimus felt his spark break at how sad Tatyana. This song she was singing was so beautiful and touching, he couldn't help but think about what he lost back on Cybertron. Elita...how he missed her so. He felt his optics tear up slightly but he held it back as best as he could. He glanced over at his other comrades; Ironhide was looking away, Ratchet had his head hung, the twins looked uncomfortable, Jazz looked like he just wanted to comfort Tai, while Bumblebee had tears of his own falling down his small face.

A friend and companion
I can always depend on
My mother
That's who I mean
My mother
That's who I mean... that's who I mean

After she had finished singing, she reached into the bag and pulled out a single pink tiger lily on top of the headstone and stood up.

'I love you, Mom...see you later...I promise...'

She than turned to her father's grave.

'Oh...and Dad...' She than made a goofy face, which consisted of fish lips and moose antlers made by her hands.

She chuckled. 'Just thought you could use a laugh.' She than turned and walked back down to the group, now feeling like she could celebrate Mother's day.

And it was okay.

Wow!

That was so emotional for me to write!
This was very hard for me to write...I miss my Mom so incredibly much...

I would give anything to have her back and to hear her voice again.

But I know she is there, she always will be...

Because her love...is like the wind..
I can't see it...but I can feel it...

Review!