A/N: Well. I can tell you that this will be weird. Strange, even.
...
I used to be the king of Spain~ Now I eat humble pie...
Mello was in the middle of giving Jose and a few of the others the order to kidnap Sayu Yagami when Skyer, Irius, and Roy dragged in a few men dressed in military uniforms and wearing gray Soviet-style hats. They weren't armed, but Mello didn't expect them to be once they met Roy. To his semi-surprise, when they were half-thrown, half-shoved across the room they began to grovel at his feet. He had seen people beg for their lives before, but never like this.
"We found you... Thank goodness!" one of the men said.
"We've been looking for you all over!"
Mello immediately pulled his Beretta. "Looking for me why?" he hissed.
"Sire..." Sire? "You are the long-lost Tsar!"
"...What?"
"Our leader, sir!"
"...And where are you from?"
"Russia, your majesty!" Your majesty? Do they NOT see where they are? Where I am?
"...I thought Russia had a president or something."
"Sire, that has entirely fallen apart!"
"We must return to our old ways!"
"And you're first in line!"
First? Mello thought with a bit of smugness. "...But why call on me? ...I'm the leader of the fucking Mafia, and I'm wanted in ninety-seven countries. Not exactly the great leader type."
"But sir, we're desperate. The snow is black!"
"Rainbows are falling from the ground!"
"The sun is raining down on us!"
"GUMMYBEARS ARE REPLACING PEOPLE'S EYESSSSSSSS!"
"...Okaaaaay... Well, while that's some weird shit, I've got Kira and that asshole Near to beat. So... bye!"
"WAIT! There's a hot girl who'll marry you if you save us!"
"Saywhat?"
"'WAIT! There's a hot gi-'"
"I'M IN."
A/N: :P
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