Prologue
I didn't believe him at first, or I didn't want to believe him, I still don't know which. Why did he want to go? Was it something to do with pride? Or was it 'cause he thought it was in his duty to fight? The war with Germany was obviously going to succeed without him, the entire world was against Germany and he knew it! But he still went, maybe so he could bask in the glory of winning, if so did I want to be with him anymore?
Chapter 1
1939
Jasper has been acting strange lately, I don't know why and every time I asked him about it he changes the subject. What is he keeping from me? I was looking through our mail when I stumbled upon a letter from the army, though I trusted my boyfriend I had to wonder if this is what he was keeping from me. Curiosity took the better of me and I decided to read the letter.
Dear Mr Whitlock
We are deeply honoured that you decided to serve your country in the battle against Germany.
You have been accepted on account of your talent in combat.
Please come by the base on 21st of June at 0800 hours.
We are leaving on that day.
It is crucial that you are on time or we might leave you behind
Yours sincerely Sergeant McCoy
Anger, disappointment and grief tore through me. I sank to my knees, unable to stand any longer, as my body shook uncontrollably with tears flowing freely down to the ground. I don't know how long I was there but next minute I hear "Bella I can explain" I looked up and there Jasper was standing there guilt ridden. How? How can he explain, but the words never leave my mouth as I'm too distraught to speak.
"Bella, love, I know I should have told you but I knew you would try and convince me not to go. I need to do this." Jasper said desperately trying to get his point across.
"Jasper you can't go, you just can't leave me, please don't go!….. what do you expect me to do wait for you to come back home, IF you come back home. How do I know you're going to make it through, you could die out there Jasper and that would just kill me inside." I beg struggling to get it out through the tears.
"Sorry Bella but I just have to do this, do you not trust me enough to come back to you…. I will come back to you, I promise, you have to believe me. Do you not trust me Bella?" I can't reply to this, how could he ask such a question, of course I trust him, it's the Germans I don't trust to let my man come home to me.
As I struggle to say what I need to say I think of how much I love Jasper and how unfair it is for me because I know that I will lose him to this war maybe not in death but he will never be the same, the war changes people.
"………Bella? Bella, are you listening? Did you hear what I just said?"
"Uhmmmm no I didn't hear anything you said and I'm not sure I want to because Jasper, to put it frankly I…I..I just don't understand how this could be so important for you!"
"Bella I don't really know why but I feel like something great will come of it but I do know that it will cause a lot of heartbreak I don't when and I don't know why."
"How could you not know when or why? Because Hun, THIS is it. The heartbreak is now and the reason why is because I think I've realised that I don't want a hero I want you………. But I can't stay in the same room as you knowing you're going to leave me soon, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave and when you've decided not to go to war then you can come back but until then goodbye."
I watch Jasper leave without any complaint from him and I wondered did he even care? Is he going to make the right decision?
I know I should go back to apologise but something tells me she wont listen. I know what im doing has upset her. But I also know it's the right thing to do.
I have a feeling something is going to happen at this war. Something big. Something that will change both my life and hers. But whether it's good or bad? I don't know. Ill have to wait and find out.
I hate upsetting Bella. She doesn't deserve all this hurt. No one does. I suppose I should go back. Maybe she has calmed down a bit. Hopefully.
I walk back home, taking in all the sites one more time. As I may never see them again. I leave for war in two days. Two more days to spend with Bella. That's if she will let me.
I nod politely to our neighbours and walk up the path leading to the door. I slowly ease it open, "Bella?" No reply. "Bella?" I call again. Stepping inside.
"Go away!!!" I hear her cry from the bedroom.
I gentle knock on the door, "Bella, im sorry, I should of told what was going on, instead of being so secretive. I was wrong not to tell you. Please let me in." I beg.
Something hits the door. By the sound of it, it's a pillow. "I said go away! I don't want to talk to you Jasper, not right now, please just leave me alone!"