I saw him.
He was clothed in midnight black dress robes; they swirled around his slender figure in faultless waves of flowing material, perfectly accenting his pale complexion and his pointed, pronounced features. He looked just the same as usual – dignified, superior, and ultimately uninterested. But something was different today. His eyes. I knew those eyes; they always showed exactly what he was feeling. Right now they looked absolutely broken, devastated beyond belief, like they were trying to accept some horrible fact of life. He caught my gaze and I felt like I was drowning, helpless in their intense depths. A strained little smile made its way onto his face. I knew he was trying for me. He was trying to be strong. But I could see right through his facade. The mask of contentedness he put on to the rest of the world was invisible to me.
I averted my gaze quickly, not wanting to cause him any more pain. He had already been hurt so much.
I fiddled with the sash of my dress in an attempt to distract myself. My fingers slipped over the cool, heavily decorated fabric, trailing over the tight waistline and tracing the complicated, intricate patterns of the threads. Panic was slowly beginning to build up in my chest. I was at a wedding. I was in a wedding dress. I was about to be married. In less than an hour, my heart would belong to someone else.
Usually I was sensible; I didn't fret over most things. But this was a wedding. My wedding.
Lord have mercy on me.
I didn't even know if I was making the right choice.
Once again, I felt his eyes on me, but I forced myself not to look up. It would only make things worse. I had made a decision between him and Ron, and Ron had won. It was that simple, but somehow, it wasn't simple at all. It was the hardest, most complex thing I'd ever had to do in my life. And now, he was suffering because of my choice.
He'd always loved me, I just knew it. Ever since he had first laid eyes on me, he'd been completely spellbound.
I must admit that I wasn't exactly partial to him in the beginning; his lofty ways and high standards were rather bothersome. But as the years flew by, I learned to respect him, adore him even. The annoying tidbits he had once possessed were now enrapturing, lovely pieces of his character; he would not be the person he was without them.
I think he eventually sensed that I was falling for him, so in order to retain my sanity, I put up a wall between us. It was too confusing, this new feeling they called love. It was one of the very few things in the world that I didn't understand, and that made me feel powerless. Without knowledge, I was nothing.
After school, he followed me to the Ministry of Magic. From time to time, we would pass each other in the hallways. I would only nod curtly in acknowledgement, fearing that by doing more, I would only encourage him to fall deeper in love with me.
And so, time passed. Not much happened for a while until Ron proposed to me. It was earth-shattering, so completely unexpected that I barely even thought about it before I said yes. In hindsight, I should have considered what might have happened before I made my impulsive decision. But in the moment he proposed, all I could see were his shining eyes, alight with a wonderful kind of happiness that I'd never seen there before. I mean, of course I had to say yes. I couldn't let him down, not after all we'd been through together. I didn't want to ruin our years of friendship over an engagement.
The piano started playing a cherry, traditional tune that completely caught me off guard.
It was time.
I started walking up the aisle, shaking nervously. The train of my dress followed me, slowing down my progress like a heavy, insistent weight. Merlin, what is that stuff made off? Random thoughts kept shooting through my head, faster than speeding bullets. It's very bright outside. Why is the music so loud? I'm halfway there already. This is stupid. Why is everyone cheering? They're so loud. It hurts my ears. I'm almost there. God, I can see Ron…
He was standing there in all of his freckled glory, ginger hair ruffled slightly in the light breeze. It crossed my mind that he barely looked different from the day I met him. He was much taller and much more experienced, but the childish cockiness remained.
"Hey, Hermione," he said softly as he took my hand. "Ready to become a Weasley?"
No. I wasn't. Not at all.
"Of course," I whispered back, beaming at him. He looked satisfied; apparently he didn't know how untrue that statement was.
The ceremony flew by. All too soon, it was time to conclude the marriage.
"Do you, Ronald Bilius Weasley, accept this woman to be your wife?"
"I do," Ron said, a huge smile on his face.
"And do you, Hermione Jean Granger, accept this man to be your husband?"
I cast one last terrified glance at him. He's as pale as a sheet. His eyes are begging me not to do it, not to choose Ron. But it's too late. I'm trapped now. If I don't say it, I'll lose Ron forever. So I took a deep, shaky breath and said, "I do."
That was it for him. He walked away, shaking his head in a silent sort of desperation. It was over.
As for Ron, he leaned in and kissed me eagerly. I kissed back, trying to make the passionate feeling seem real. But it wasn't.
It was all fake. It was all wrong. And it was all my fault.
In that moment, I realized who I truly loved; the person who'd always been there for me, always loved me, even when he thought that I hated him.
Draco.
But I was married to Ron now. I was married. There was no turning back.
I love you Draco Malfoy. I'm just sorry that I never realized it before it was too late.
Please review! (Come on, poor Draco and Hermione want you to!)