The characters don't belong to me, and the song belongs to the band
Garbage, from their third cd, beautifulgarbage.
Cup of Coffee
~ You tell me you don't love me,
over a cup of coffee ~
"Gateau, I'm sorry."
Gateau looked up from his cappuccino. "For what?"
Marron looked so sad. "I don't love you."
"What!? But we've been together for three and a half months, and we've know each other for years! On one hand, why did you stay with me so long if you didn't love me? On the other, is the time we've been dating really long enough to fall in love?" Gateau was shocked. He had thought everything was going so well between them.
"Honestly, I just can't love you, Gateau. I- I'm in love with someone else."
"Oh," Gateau sighed.
~ And I just have to look away ~
"I didn't see this coming. I thought I knew him. I thought I knew that he cared," Gateau thought bitterly. "Guess I didn't know him that well after all."
~ A million miles between us,
planets crashing to dust ~
"We just weren't meant for each other." Marron had never felt so guilty in all his life . Gateau looked so heartbroken. "We can still be friends, right? You know I will always be here for you. Just like before we started dating, okay?"
"Whatever." Gateau bowed his head and tuned out the rest of Marron's apologies.
~ And I just let it fade away ~
~ I'm walking empty streets,
hoping we might meet ~
Gateau walked down the darkened street, hands jammed into his pockets. Marron had broken up with him a month ago, and he hadn't seen him since.
It was true that the raven-haired beauty called sometimes, but Gateau never had the nerve to pick up the phone and talk to him.
It wasn't long before he neared a very familiar house.
~ I see your car parked on the road ~
Sure enough, he easily picked out Marron's white Taurus, with the little cloisonné fish hanging from the rear view mirror.
~ The light on at your window.
I know for sure that you're home ~
Very clearly he could see Marron's silhouette in the window. He was curled up on the couch, reading. For a long time, Gateau debated going up and knocking on the door. Eventually he just turned and walked away.
~ But I just have to pass on by ~
Gateau was sitting in an overstuffed armchair when the phone rang. He glanced at the Caller ID. Marron Glace. He sighed and let the machine get it.
~ So no of course we can't be friends
Not while I'm still this obsessed.
I guess I always knew the score.
This is how our story ends ~
~I smoke your brand of cigarettes and
pray that you might give me a call ~
Gateau lay on his back on his bed, smoking a Marlboro light. Marron had smoked for a year. His freshman year of college, actually. He said it helped relieve the stress, and considering how much homework Gateau knew he had had, it made some sense. However, Marron had quit not too long after he started, and regretted ever having done it. When he had smoked, he had smoked Marlboro lights.
Marron had stopped trying to call him about two weeks earlier. Gateau had never answered the phone, so apparently he had given up. He still liked to know that Marron cared enough to call, though. All he really wanted was to hear the sound of his gentle voice!
~ I lie around in bed all day
just staring at the walls ~
His gaze wandered to the pictures of Marron he had in frames on his dresser. "Marron, how could you leave me? Didn't I love you enough for the both of us?" he questioned the pictures. Marron's golden eyes just gazed back, smiling at some hidden secret.
Unable to stand those haunting eyes, Gateau heaved himself off the bed and went out to a bar, hoping to get drunk off his ass and forget all his problems for a while.
~ Hanging round in bars all night
wishing I had never been born.
And give myself to anyone
who wants to take me home. ~
"Hey, handsome, you free tonight?" The man was overweight, balding and missing his left front tooth. His breath reeked of alcohol.
"Yeah. Let's get out of here." Gateau stood and walked out of the bar, leading the man to the hotel across the street.
Afterwards, he lay staring at the ceiling as the man snored loudly beside him. "It should be you, Marron, lying here next to me."
~ So no of course we can't be friends.
Not while I'm still this obsessed. ~
Gateau plastered his walls with all of the pictures he had of Marron, which was quite a substantial number. He had been in love with him for years. Then he sat down and flipped through a photo album. He and Marron at Christmas. He and Marron at Tira and Carrot's wedding. He and Marron at Dotta's birthday party. He scowled when he came across a picture of Dotta opening a gift. In the background could plainly be seen Marron and Mille Feuille, talking. For some reason that had given a Gateau a bad feeling when he had seen them talking so freely. Now he knew why.
~ I guess I always knew the score.
This is how our story ends. ~
Sadly he closed the book, obscuring the last picture of he and Marron, talking quietly under a tree as the sun set behind them.
"Too bad not all stories have happy endings."
~ You left behind some clothes.
My belly summersaults when I
pick them off the floor ~
Gateau bent down to pick up the plain white T-shirt that had once belonged to Marron. They had been talking outside one day when it had started raining. They had retreated to Gateau's, where Marron had taken off his wet shirt and borrowed one of Gateau's. Marron had given Gateau's shirt back, but never retrieved his own.
It had been safely stored in the dresser, until Gateau had thrown all of his clothes around the room in a fit of grief and anger.
He held the shirt tenderly to his cheek. "Marron.," he breathed.
The moment was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Heart pounding in his throat, Gateau waited for the machine to pick it up, praying with all of his being that it would be Marron.
~ My friends say they're worried.
I'm looking far too skinny. ~
"Hey, Gateau," the recorded voice began. "It's Blake. I've just been wondering where you've been. Haven't seen ya at the gym lately. Joe said he'd seen you the other day. He said he thought your muscles might be starting to atrophy. You're not neglecting those trophy muscles we all envy, are you? He also said you looked like you weren't eating enough. So, how about this? You and me hit the gym, and then go get some dinner. What do you think? I guess just call me back, okay? Later."
Gateau glared at the machine, and pressed the delete button.
~ I stopped returning all their calls. ~
Gateau lay in bed, his album in front of him. His eyes would shift from the pictures in front of him, to the ones on the walls.
~ So no of course we can't be friends. ~
The tall blond walked slowly down Marron's street, his unwavering gaze focused on the distant spot of light he knew to be Marron's window.
~ Not while I'm still so obsessed. ~
As he drew closer, he could plainly see Marron's figure, wrapped in the arms of another figure.
~ I want to ask where I went wrong. ~
"That should be me in there with you, Marron," he told the dim outline. "What happened? What does Mille have that I don't? Did I say the wrong thing to you? Did I make some mistake?"
~ But don't say anything at all. ~
Sadly, he just turned on his heel and walked away, leaving the couple to their romantic evening.
Wandering randomly, Gateau glanced up and realized he was at the coffee shop where Marron had broken up with him. Feeling either masochistic or nostalgic, he went in and sat in the same spot he had sat in on that fateful day three months ago.
Soon he had a cappuccino, just like he had had that day. He stared into it, bathing his face in the steam as memories flooded him. It started out as only the good times, when he had been happy, and moved into the wreck his life had become. The last image he saw was one from earlier that evening, of Marron kissing Mille.
~ It took a cup of coffee
To prove that you don't love me. ~
For the first time since the break up, Gateau put his head down and sobbed.
Cup of Coffee
~ You tell me you don't love me,
over a cup of coffee ~
"Gateau, I'm sorry."
Gateau looked up from his cappuccino. "For what?"
Marron looked so sad. "I don't love you."
"What!? But we've been together for three and a half months, and we've know each other for years! On one hand, why did you stay with me so long if you didn't love me? On the other, is the time we've been dating really long enough to fall in love?" Gateau was shocked. He had thought everything was going so well between them.
"Honestly, I just can't love you, Gateau. I- I'm in love with someone else."
"Oh," Gateau sighed.
~ And I just have to look away ~
"I didn't see this coming. I thought I knew him. I thought I knew that he cared," Gateau thought bitterly. "Guess I didn't know him that well after all."
~ A million miles between us,
planets crashing to dust ~
"We just weren't meant for each other." Marron had never felt so guilty in all his life . Gateau looked so heartbroken. "We can still be friends, right? You know I will always be here for you. Just like before we started dating, okay?"
"Whatever." Gateau bowed his head and tuned out the rest of Marron's apologies.
~ And I just let it fade away ~
~ I'm walking empty streets,
hoping we might meet ~
Gateau walked down the darkened street, hands jammed into his pockets. Marron had broken up with him a month ago, and he hadn't seen him since.
It was true that the raven-haired beauty called sometimes, but Gateau never had the nerve to pick up the phone and talk to him.
It wasn't long before he neared a very familiar house.
~ I see your car parked on the road ~
Sure enough, he easily picked out Marron's white Taurus, with the little cloisonné fish hanging from the rear view mirror.
~ The light on at your window.
I know for sure that you're home ~
Very clearly he could see Marron's silhouette in the window. He was curled up on the couch, reading. For a long time, Gateau debated going up and knocking on the door. Eventually he just turned and walked away.
~ But I just have to pass on by ~
Gateau was sitting in an overstuffed armchair when the phone rang. He glanced at the Caller ID. Marron Glace. He sighed and let the machine get it.
~ So no of course we can't be friends
Not while I'm still this obsessed.
I guess I always knew the score.
This is how our story ends ~
~I smoke your brand of cigarettes and
pray that you might give me a call ~
Gateau lay on his back on his bed, smoking a Marlboro light. Marron had smoked for a year. His freshman year of college, actually. He said it helped relieve the stress, and considering how much homework Gateau knew he had had, it made some sense. However, Marron had quit not too long after he started, and regretted ever having done it. When he had smoked, he had smoked Marlboro lights.
Marron had stopped trying to call him about two weeks earlier. Gateau had never answered the phone, so apparently he had given up. He still liked to know that Marron cared enough to call, though. All he really wanted was to hear the sound of his gentle voice!
~ I lie around in bed all day
just staring at the walls ~
His gaze wandered to the pictures of Marron he had in frames on his dresser. "Marron, how could you leave me? Didn't I love you enough for the both of us?" he questioned the pictures. Marron's golden eyes just gazed back, smiling at some hidden secret.
Unable to stand those haunting eyes, Gateau heaved himself off the bed and went out to a bar, hoping to get drunk off his ass and forget all his problems for a while.
~ Hanging round in bars all night
wishing I had never been born.
And give myself to anyone
who wants to take me home. ~
"Hey, handsome, you free tonight?" The man was overweight, balding and missing his left front tooth. His breath reeked of alcohol.
"Yeah. Let's get out of here." Gateau stood and walked out of the bar, leading the man to the hotel across the street.
Afterwards, he lay staring at the ceiling as the man snored loudly beside him. "It should be you, Marron, lying here next to me."
~ So no of course we can't be friends.
Not while I'm still this obsessed. ~
Gateau plastered his walls with all of the pictures he had of Marron, which was quite a substantial number. He had been in love with him for years. Then he sat down and flipped through a photo album. He and Marron at Christmas. He and Marron at Tira and Carrot's wedding. He and Marron at Dotta's birthday party. He scowled when he came across a picture of Dotta opening a gift. In the background could plainly be seen Marron and Mille Feuille, talking. For some reason that had given a Gateau a bad feeling when he had seen them talking so freely. Now he knew why.
~ I guess I always knew the score.
This is how our story ends. ~
Sadly he closed the book, obscuring the last picture of he and Marron, talking quietly under a tree as the sun set behind them.
"Too bad not all stories have happy endings."
~ You left behind some clothes.
My belly summersaults when I
pick them off the floor ~
Gateau bent down to pick up the plain white T-shirt that had once belonged to Marron. They had been talking outside one day when it had started raining. They had retreated to Gateau's, where Marron had taken off his wet shirt and borrowed one of Gateau's. Marron had given Gateau's shirt back, but never retrieved his own.
It had been safely stored in the dresser, until Gateau had thrown all of his clothes around the room in a fit of grief and anger.
He held the shirt tenderly to his cheek. "Marron.," he breathed.
The moment was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Heart pounding in his throat, Gateau waited for the machine to pick it up, praying with all of his being that it would be Marron.
~ My friends say they're worried.
I'm looking far too skinny. ~
"Hey, Gateau," the recorded voice began. "It's Blake. I've just been wondering where you've been. Haven't seen ya at the gym lately. Joe said he'd seen you the other day. He said he thought your muscles might be starting to atrophy. You're not neglecting those trophy muscles we all envy, are you? He also said you looked like you weren't eating enough. So, how about this? You and me hit the gym, and then go get some dinner. What do you think? I guess just call me back, okay? Later."
Gateau glared at the machine, and pressed the delete button.
~ I stopped returning all their calls. ~
Gateau lay in bed, his album in front of him. His eyes would shift from the pictures in front of him, to the ones on the walls.
~ So no of course we can't be friends. ~
The tall blond walked slowly down Marron's street, his unwavering gaze focused on the distant spot of light he knew to be Marron's window.
~ Not while I'm still so obsessed. ~
As he drew closer, he could plainly see Marron's figure, wrapped in the arms of another figure.
~ I want to ask where I went wrong. ~
"That should be me in there with you, Marron," he told the dim outline. "What happened? What does Mille have that I don't? Did I say the wrong thing to you? Did I make some mistake?"
~ But don't say anything at all. ~
Sadly, he just turned on his heel and walked away, leaving the couple to their romantic evening.
Wandering randomly, Gateau glanced up and realized he was at the coffee shop where Marron had broken up with him. Feeling either masochistic or nostalgic, he went in and sat in the same spot he had sat in on that fateful day three months ago.
Soon he had a cappuccino, just like he had had that day. He stared into it, bathing his face in the steam as memories flooded him. It started out as only the good times, when he had been happy, and moved into the wreck his life had become. The last image he saw was one from earlier that evening, of Marron kissing Mille.
~ It took a cup of coffee
To prove that you don't love me. ~
For the first time since the break up, Gateau put his head down and sobbed.