Why You Gotta Be So Mean
You, with Your Words like Knives
And Sword and Weapons
That You Use Against Me
You, Knock Me off My Feet Again,
Got Me Feeling like I'm Nothing
"Luka! C'mere sweetie, it's time to open your birthday presents!" Luka ran down from her room as fast as her tiny, seven-year old legs would let her. Her mother stood in the kitchen with a large box, surrounded by multiple smaller boxes. Luka jumped off the last step eagerly, an ear to ear, cheesy grin on her face. Her mother stepped away from the table, allowing the pinkette girl to see her presents.
"Thanks Mom!" She squeaked, eyeing the largest box in the stack. Luka loved how her mother had wrapped her birthday presents. Each one had pretty pink paper with a different kind of design on it. Her favorite was still the largest one in the center though. It had all kinds of funky patterns and little tuna imprints hidden in the shapes. She looked up at her mother expectantly, her response was a nod.
Luka ripped through every inch of wrapping paper until she saw the bare box. She blinked in confusion; it was not what she had expected. Under all of that beautiful pink paper… was the oddest package she had ever seen. It was a grayish box with many words scribbled on it which she couldn't read. On the side was letters reading "T.M.L. Project 468" and a bunch of code letters jumbled together. She decided it was best to see the inside before judging the present.
The girl slowly opened the box and gasped. For there, in the strange gray box, was something even stranger. It was an octopus-looking creature with pink tentacles and small eyes sealed shut. Luka giggled, it was just a stuffed animal! She had to admit, it was very sweet of her mother to get such a realistic plush animal, it even had a thin bubble where a nose should have been (plastic she guessed). But when Luka reached in to pick up the toy its eyes snapped open and it glared at her.
"Hey," it screeched in a loud, chipmunk sounding voice "I was having a perfectly good nap before you went and woke me up you jerk!" Luka's hand covered her mouth and she stared, eyes wide, at this creature. It was alive, she was certain of that, and its face looked very similar to hers. Luka knew it was rude but she dared to ask-
"W-What are you?!" The creature seemed to not like her question because her response was-
"I'm Tako Luka you Dumbass! Who the hell are you?!" Luka gaped at the other Luka. Why was she using that kind of language? It was rude and just plain mean! She decided it was only polite to shake hands so she reached out her hand; the strange creature slapped it away with its tentacle and scowled at her.
"Well, I'm going to go do something worth my time, see you later loser!" Luka watched it waddle away and fell to the floor crying. Her mother walked over to Luka.
"It's okay honey. It's just not used to its new home yet, how about you go talk to Taco Luka?" Luka looked up at her mom teary eyed.
"Why is it here anyway?" Her mother smiled.
"Mrs. Hatsune and I went to a special lab out of state a few months back and had it made special for you. You know, because of your troubles at school." Luka smiled back at her mother, it was very nice of her to do this for her, she decided it was time to grow up and walked over to her room.
When Luka opened the door her mouth hung open. The little creature had taken a pink marker and written her name all over Luka's room, on her desk, on her bed, in her drawings, and there were poorly drawn cartoons of Luka with a knife in her head everywhere. Luka felt tears in her eyes but refused to let them fall. She walked over to the little octopus and crossed her arms. The creature was chewing rather loudly on the special gum her grandmother had brought from America. And using its filthy tentacles to play on her DS also given to Luka by her grandma. The creature looked up at her bothered for some reason.
"What you want, loser?" Luka forced herself to stay aloof and grabbed her game out of Taco Luka's "hands". The creature glared at her, mouth hanging open in shock. Luka pointed at Taco Luka's graffiti-
"Clean it up." The creature crossed its tentacles defiantly.
"Oh, I don't think so! You'll give me my game back and you'll clean up the mess or I'll tell all of the people at your school that you pick your nose when you get home every day. And I'll make you an email with the username "LukaDorkyDumbAss7" and tell all of your friends to email you!" Luka's stared at her in shock. She didn't want the octopus to do any of that and some part of her knew it would. So she reluctantly gave up the electronic game and left to get some cleaning tools.
It took her all day and into the night to clean Taco Luka's mess. When she had finished the creature was in the middle of her bed with greasy snacks littering her sheets and soda spills on Luka's computer. She sighed going back to get her supplies and pick up after the octopus once more.
X
"Time for bed Luka!" Her mother called from her room. Luka finished brushing her teeth and toddled over to her bed. The little octopus looked up at her, yawned and turned back.
"It's time for bed, go find somewhere to sleep!" Luka commanded. The creature ignored her and Luka sighed. She knew if she argued anymore it would through some new threats and insults at her and it really wasn't worth a marker stained, soda splotched mattress.
She walked into the living and fell onto the sofa, not caring about the cold cushions or that she had no blanket. The same thought swirling around her mind the whole night, decided to really hurt her now-
This one day of her life, her birthday of all days, was going to lead to nothing but horrible days in the future.
As long as Taco Luka stayed in her home.
TBC
Author's Note- Thanks for reading! I got the idea for this Two-shot when I was on Tumblr and I saw a picture of Luka and Taco Luka together. I had known about Taco Luka before writing this of course but I thought this would be a lot of fun to write! The song I used was Mean by Taylor Swift NO I DO NOT OWN MEAN! Please Review!