Cookie Cutter by GlassSuicune

Note: MegaMan Zero belongs to Capcom. Anyways, this is going to be a very random story, and is my attempt to make a story that shall pass fifty chapters and beyond, as well as take years off of my lifespan ( and yours, if you decide to continue reading). Wish me luck, for I fear I may not make it out alive. Oh yeah, and there will be (usually) unfitting 'words of wisdom' at the beginning of each chapter. Also, this story is not canonically accurate, so if you care about canon, don't bother reading this.

Chapter 1: No One Shall Break into Neo Arcadia!

"If coffee breaks came every ten minutes like George Jetson claimed, the world would be in complete and total despair. Speaking of which, it's time for my coffee break."

-Sage Harpuia.

~~~~(me no wanna use line breaks to separate the quote from the story)~~~~

Copy X let out a long sigh as he walked towards the gate leading back into the tower. There was a guard standing watch, and he saluted the ruler of Neo Arcadia. "Don't bother yourself with the formalities right now," the copy of MegaMan X informed him, "I just want to know how everything is going before I return." The soldier's face brightened. "Oh, everything's been going smoothly, thanks to my keen eye!" he replied.

"Is that so?"

"Indeed Master X! No one shall break into Neo Arcadia, I guarantee it!"

Copy X then noticed not too far off, Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo sneaking into Neo Arcadia through an air vent of all things while carrying what appeared to be Bom-Ombs from the Mario series.

Completely unnoticed by the soldier.

Copy X's blue eyes were huge, but he said nothing. Instead, he looked at the soldier and told him, "Neo Arcadia thanks you and your keen eye very much. I feel very safe, knowing you're on guard. I'm sure the Humans do, too." With that, he walked inside, well aware the three crazies would have to be dealt with before whatever their scatterbrained plan was could be enacted.

"I can't handle three crazy people by myself, so I'm going to need back-up," Copy X mused, "Maybe Harpuia could help. He's the most like MegaMan X -behind me, of course. So he's more sane, naturally." He then approached the door leading to the Wind Guardian's room, hearing what sounded like a lawn mower being turned on. Then he heard Harpuia screaming out a bunch of gibberish ( Copy X swore he heard something along the lines of 'Don't eat me') while the sounds of things being destroyed could be heard. A rather sickening liquid-like sound followed afterwards.

"DANG IT! NOT AGAIN!"

Harpuia's scream was filled with both rage and excruciating pain. Copy X paled considerably, and he said, "Never mind. I take that back... Now, do I even wanna know what just happened?" He then went to open the door, before hearing Harpuia scream in pain and fear while the supposed lawn mower started up again. "Uh... No I don't." Copy X decided quickly, getting as far away from the room as possible. Whatever was going on, Harpuia could handle it. And if not, he was a Reploid. He could be rebuilt ( unless the thing truly ate him, which would be a rather disturbing incident).

Now, just so I don't have to up the rating, the lawn mower got sliced in half and oil squirted out. Harpuia was untouched. Well, he did kinda accidentally jam one of his swords into his foot, hence the screams of pain, but still...

"Well, perhaps Fefnir would be more useful..." Copy X mused, still grimacing from whatever the crazy Reploid had been doing. He then approached the door to the Flame Guardian's room, hearing metal music playing at an unholy volume. "Fefnir! It's Master X!" Copy X yelled, but his voice was drowned out by an incredibly loud guitar which was being played so crazily that Copy X decided the guitarist was either venting his or her frustrations on something, or was high on sugar.

"FEFNIR!"

Copy X took a deep breath after the outburst, but received no response from the Reploid. "Oi..." he groaned, "Well, now I know why he hardly listens to me... He's damaged his hearing royally..." Giving up on ever reaching Fefnir, Copy X then walked down the hallway. Once he was out of sight, Fefnir suddenly opened the door, wearing an Elvis wig for some reason. "That's odd..." he muttered, "I swore I heard something... Oh well." He then went back into his room and closed the door.

"Okay, maybe Leviathan..." Copy X said to himself, as he stood in front of the Ice Guardian's room. He then stopped to think for a moment. Once he had resolved whatever issue it was, he simply called out, "Leviathan, are you there?" There was silence for a moment, before the Reploid answered, "No! Go away!"

"Go away? How dare you tell ME to go away! I'm coming in there!"

"Wait! NO!"

Copy X ignored Leviathan's pleadings and barged into her room, a thing called decency having been forgotten ( boys should not barge into a girl's room like that, and vice versa. But I digress). What he saw was incredibly weird, and that just might be an understatement. Leviathan was sitting on her knees, on the floor, playing with a mixture of My Little Pony and Marvel figures. Her eyes locked with Copy X's, and she told him rather bluntly, "You see nothing, okay?" Copy X was dumb struck, but he conceded and replied, "I see nothing..."

"Good... Now please, leave?"

Copy X nodded and left the room, closing the door. Normally he wouldn't have allowed a Guardian to order him around, but he was pacified in that room. He could take a little jab to his pride just to get out of there and forget the whole thing even happened. And people often wondered why he avoided Leviathan... The girl was flat-out crazy.

"Okay Phantom, you're my last hope..." Copy X said, pretty freaked out from what went on with the previous three, "Please be sane... Please be sane..." He then reached the ninja's room and knocked on the door. "Who goes there?" Phantom asked, sounding a tad tired.

"It's Master X. Your assistance is needed."

There was the sound of someone hurrying to get themselves prepared, but otherwise it was normal. Phantom then opened the door and walked out. There was no lawn mower, no wig ( Copy X had seen it), and no My Little Pony or Marvel. Just Phantom, in all his glory. "What is it, Master X?" he asked. "Apparently Zero, Miss Ciel, and the errand boy whose name I don't care to remember, have broken into Neo Arcadia."

"You want me to eliminate them?"

"You and I will both do it. I'm not taking any chances with three crazy blonds who sneak in with Bom-Ombs."

"Bom-Ombs?"

"The Resistance is full of yahoos. Some seem more insane than others."

Nothing more was said between the two. Instead, the copy and the ninja made their way to where Zero and Company would likely be.

Namely, Copy X's throne room.

"I knew you'd be here, Mavericks!" Copy X yelled, narrowing his eyes dangerously at the three, "Now, Phantom and I will retire you!" Ciel suddenly looked confused. "What about me?" she inquired, "I'm not a Reploid, therefore I can't be retired..."

"...You will all be eliminated!"

"...That works."

Phantom pulled out a shuriken. "Time to meet your end..." he said darkly. Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo all looked at each other frantically, before screaming as one, "HELP!" Copy X and Phantom raised their eyebrows at this. "Calling for help, cowards?" Copy X mocked.

Then a giant Plot Hole opened up, and Bowser suddenly fell from it and flattened the Neo Arcadians.

"Quick! Plant the Bom-Ombs!" Zero cried. The three then frantically ran around the room, planting the Bom-Ombs in very strategic places. Then they regrouped and looked upward. "Beam us up, Scotty!" Elpizo shouted, and the three were transported back to the Resistance Base. Bowser stood up and scratched the back of his head. "Well, my work is done." he said, jumping back into the Plot Hole, so that he may return to the Mushroom Kingdom and terrorize Princess Peach and Mario.

Phantom let out a groan as he attempted to get un-flattened. Once he was back to normal, he helped Copy X get back up. They both then noticed the Bom-Ombs, which were now red and vaguely resembled a beating heart, given how rapidly they went from big to small.

"Oh dear..."

KABOOM!

Resistance: 1.

Neo Arcadia: 0.

All is right with the world.

Note: And there's the first chapter. Review please? I wanna know if this really is worth pursuing... Also, please note that this is meant to resemble a Saturday morning cartoon or the like. Each chapter is its own story... See ya next time! Whenever that is.