Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Buffy or Angel. I borrowed some of the dialouge from the show but some not word for word. I hope that is ok. I own nothing!!

Author's Note:

AU: Dawn was 16 when she found out she was the key. She graduated high school a year early. She was 17 when Buffy died. Spike was never in love with Buffy, it was always Dawn. But everyone thinks he loves Buffy. The scoobies messed up when they tried to resurrect Buffy and brought Dawn back instead. And Spike had the chip removed but continued helping and not killing, no one knows except Dawn. Spike & Dawn's POV.

Chapter 1:

Dawn's POV

The voices in my head are screaming so loud that it is unbearable. They keep telling me that it was all my fault, and i know they are right. She didn't have to jump, it could have been me. It was supposed to be me. Why couldn't i have just done it before she had a chance to stop me?

It has been two weeks since it happened, since she took her own life to save mine. I see the way everyone looks at me now, like they are digusted with me. They hate me, and why shouldn't they? If I had just done what i was created to do then my sister would still be alive. They all hate me...hell, I hate myself. I have to make it stop, to make them be quiet. This is the only way I know how...

Dawn sat on the bathroom floor with the door locked, her back against the cabinet with the blade of the knife pressed against her wrist. She took a moment to study the knife, it was the same knife Doc had used to cut her that night on the tower. 'How fittting.' she thought as she sliced two long vertical lines along the inside of her wrist. Immediately the blood was flowing nonstop, her arm fell to her side. There was already a pool of dark liquid on the ground and she was begining to feel extremely dizzy. Dawn felt the darkness pulling at her, so she closed her eyes and let it wash over her.

Spike's POV

The scoobies had all went out patrolling like they had almost every night since they lost their best friend. Spike was headed to the Summer's house to spent time with Dawn, especially since no one else seems to even notice her anymore, not that they ever had really. Dawn was falling apart, he knew that much. It wasn't hard miss, but somehow everyone else seemed to or rather they just didn't seem to care. They were always leaving her alone, or whispering to eachother when they thought no one was watching. They were obviously up to something, but he was much to worried about Dawn to give a damn.

He opened the front door and looked around. Dawn wasn't downstairs, so he decided to go see if she was in her room. Usually he found her just sitting on her bed in the dark. She didn't talk much anymore, but he always tried to get her to open up. Mostly when he did she would just cry and hold on to him like he was the last thing in the world. As he was walking up the stairs he caught the scent of something so famialiar. That scent hit so close to home. He didn't even have time to form a thought as he raced to where the powerful scent was coming from.

"DAWN!" he yelled at the bathroom door. No answer. He kicked the door down and found her laying in a pool of crimson liquid. Unconsiously he vamped out as he scooped her into his arms. There was still a heartbeat, but just barely. "Dawn, pet, come on stay with me, please. Just open your eyes..." He knew there was no hope for her, there was too much blood loss, even if he had gotten her to a hospital it was a lost cause, but he still didn't give up. Until the realization hit him that there was no longer a heartbeat.

Spike had never felt loss this deep before, even when Drusilla had left him. It was like every reason for him being here had just vanished.

Chapter 2:

It has been two months since they put her in the ground next to her mother and sister. No one even seemed too upset that Dawn had taken her own life. In fact, they seemed kind of relieved. I see them every once in a while, patrolling mostly. I never speak to them. It already takes everything i have not to rip out every single one of their throats. It's their fault she's dead, they blamed her for Buffy dying and she knew it. She felt so guilty already, she didn't need it from them too. They were all so selfish, only thinking about what they have lost, when Dawn had lost so much more than that.

He didn't blame her for killing herself, he understood. She had been through so much in her short life, more than anyone should ever have to go through. Especially her. He was surprised she hadn't snapped sooner.

Every time i close my eyes I replay the moment that I found her lying in her own blood and every time i get there just a little faster. Fast enough to save her, but when i open my eyes reality hits me in the face like a ton of bricks. I was too late, I'm always too late.

I thought to myself that it won't hurt so much if I just turn back into my former self. William the Bloody. But I can't do it, even if she's not here anymore, and there is nothing left for me to change for, to be better for, it's already done. I'm already changed because of her. Don't think I haven't tried, I have. But everytime I go in for the kill her beautiful face comes into my mind, and makes me stop dead in my tracks. Eventually I just gave up. I come and sit at her grave every night with a bottle of bourbon and tell her how much i miss her and wish I could have been there to stop it. Hopefully she is in a better place now and feels no more pain. Everytime I am there I tell myself that I will just stay there until the sun comes up and turns me to dust, but every morning I wake up to find myself back in my crypt. I must have gotten back there sometime in my drunken stupor and curse myself for not following through.

Dawn's POV

All the scoobies are sitting in a circle in the graveyard performing some sort of spell to bring Buffy back to life, not understanding that they are messing with forces much stronger than they are. And in all honesty, they have no idea what the hell they are doing. Soon they hear the loud roar of motorcycles and their spell is interupted, so they scramble off the get away from the demonic creatures wreaking havoc on their town.

Her eyes pop open and her first thought is 'I can't breathe.' There are so many thoughts rushing through her mind all at once. Nothing is making sense, 'I'm not supposed to be here, where am I at?' All she can see is darkness, so she feels around and notices that she is in some sort of box. As the realization hits her of where exactly she is at, she starts to scream and claw at the top. Screaming for someone to help her. Her knuckles and fingernails are hurting and bleeding, and she is running out of air. Finally the wood of the casket starts to break and she fights harder to get out.

As soon as she is out she looks around and sees her own headstone. Her name written at the top, "DAWN SUMMERS 1984 - 2001". She doesn't understand, and her thoughts are still racing a mile a minute. Then she sees the two other headstones next to hers. Her mother and sister. So she starts to run as fast as she can to the last place she ever felt alive, the place where her sister died.

Spike's POV

Spike was just returning to his crypt from a nearby bar. As he made his way to his home, he passed by Dawn's grave and noticed right away that something was not right. The dirt and grass had been shifted and moved around as if someone had clawed their way out. Then it hit him. Dawn's scent was still in the air, along with the smell of fresh blood.

He did not know what to think, so he did the most logical thing and followed her scent. He found himself at the tower that Glory had had built. He looked around but there was no sign of her, until the sound of metal clinking caught his attention. He look up to where the sound was coming from and saw a small figure standing at the top. He ran as fast as he could and when he got there he came face to face with the one thing that meant everything to him.

Chapter 3:

All he could do is stare. He didn't know how or why she was back, but then again, he didn't care either. The fact is that she was back and that's all that mattered, not the how's or the why's.

As he took a step toward her, she immediately took a step back. "Dawn," he called after her. She did not respond, only gave him a blank stare. The metal frame started ratteling. It was obvious that the poorly made tower would not hold for much longer. "Dawn, please just come toward me." Again no response, but this time she turned around and started toward the edge of the tower. Spike instantly sprinted after her as the metal started to collapse. He caught her slender, fragile body just before she fell. The part Spike was standing on decided to give as both he and Dawn descended toward the ground. Luckily, he caught on to a loose cord from a pulley, only yards above the concrete. Just as he caught on and slowed their fall, the cord snapped, and Spike landed with his back to the ground, and Dawn on top of him.

Laying there with his arms around her and looking into her beautiful blue eyes, he felt as if all of his dreams had come true. It took a while to register that she was trying to get away and the soft crying that was coming from her. Reluctantly, he let her go. Dawn scrambled to her feet. Her legs were shaking so much that she could barely stand. Spike reached her arms out to steady her. "Spike?" her voice trembled sounding so weak. "Yea luv, it's me." "How? W-what happened, this isn't right. I shouldn't be here." Spike knew she was right, and he didn't have the answers either, "I don't know. Come with me and let me clean you up." Slowly she nodded her head and accepted Spike's arm and leant into him.

As they made their way to 1630 Revello Dr. the pair saw about ten demons on motorcycles fly past them as they headed in the direction of the "NOW LEAVING SUNNYDALE" sign. As they made their way to the front door, Spike slowly reached to turn the knob. As he stepped inside he heard voices from within the kitchen, "That was it. It's over. That was our only chance to bring Buffy back and now it's gone." When Spike heard Willow speak those words all the pieces fell into place. All the whispering and sneaking around, even before Dawn died, and Dawn being back. Everything fit. The witch did a spell. And of course, it went wrong. Not that he was complaining. But there are always consequences when magic is involved. No doubt it would probably affect Dawn.

Chapter 4:

Xander's head snapped up as he heard Spike enter the house, "What the hell are you doing here? Get out!" Spike gave him a cold stare in return. Spike turned to Dawn who was still standing outside the door, "Can you wait here for a second, pet?" she looked down at her feet and nodded. Spike gently closed the door and made his way over to the kitchen. "What do you want, Spike?" Willow asked. "You. You did this!" Spike coldly said looking straight at Willow. "Did what? What are you talking about?" she asked confused. "Dawn. You brought her back. A spell, isn't that right? Only it was meant for Buffy."

At that moment Dawn entered the doorway, Xander was the first to see her, "Dawn," Tara was next, "Your hands, they are bleeding. Are you ok? How did that happen?" Spike just looked at Dawn, "I know how it happened, had to dig her way out of her own grave. Did it m'self once. Isn't that right?" Dawn looked away and gently nodded. "Oh God, we just left her there." Xander mumbled under his breath.

Tara was the first to get up and go to her. "Let me take you upstairs wash your hands." Dawn looked to Spike for reassurance, he nodded to her and she followed Tara.

Once they were out of sight Spike looked over at Willow and asked, "Red, just what the bloody hell did you think you were doing?" "I was trying to bring back Buffy, but the spell got interrupted. It wasn't supposed to be Dawn. I didn't mean to do that." "Figures, playing with magics you have no idea how to control. Just don't ever let Dawn hear you say it wasn't meant for her." And with that Spike went up the stairs to check on how Dawn was doing.

Tara had just finished getting Dawn changed out of her dirty clothes and her hands bandaged up when there was a light knock at the door. "Dawn, can I come in?" Spike peaked through the door and then entered fully at her nod.

"Do you want me to stay here with you?" Tara asked knowing that Spike might want to be with Dawn alone. She knew that he was in love with her, even if everyone else was blind to the fact, even Dawn herself. She didn't understand how everyone was convinced that he was obsessed with Buffy when everytime Dawn walked into the room he couldn't take his eyes off her. Or even how he stayed with her every night after Buffy died, or how devistated he was when she killed herself. She had seen him sometimes when her and the gang were out on patrol, he had been sitting at her grave site talking to her or reciting poetry. He never did notice her watching him, and she had never mentioned it to anyone.

"No, it's ok. Thanks." Tara gently smiled and took that as her que to leave, shutting the door behind her as she left. Dawn sat on the end of her bed fidgetting with her bandaged hands and noticed Spike watching her and quickly stopped.

"How are you doin', Bit" he wondered realizing that it was a stupid question to ask. How did he think she was doing? She was probably feeling a thousand different emotions, none of them good. He didn't doubt that she would more than likely be traumatized by the whole event, especially waking up in her own grave after being dead for over two months.

"It's weird, ya know? Being back. I still don't understand why I'm here. I mean I get that they did some sort of spell, but why?" Spike looked down, "I don't know, pet. But what's done is done. Your here thats all that matters now."

"How long was I gone?" she asked, not really knowing if she even wanted to know the answer to that or not. "Eighty-six days, eighty-seven today, but today doesn't count now does it? How long was it where you were?" "Longer." came the simple reply.

Spike had so many questions for her. Where did she go? What was it like? How does she feel? Why did she do it? Exept he knew the answer to the last one. Because she couldn't take it anymore, he just hoped to God or whoever that would listen that she didn't try to do it again and let him help her through the pain. All the questions he had he couldn't voice, not yet anyway. It was probably too much and possibly to painful to think about, and that was the last thing he wanted to was cause her anymore pain. "I think you should probably get some sleep, you look tired. It might make you feel better." "Ok." she laid down after he pulled the covers down for her to slip into.

Spike turned to leave the room when he heard her faint voice calling his name. It was so queit that he probably wouldn't have heard it if he wasn't equipped with vampire hearing. "Yes, luv?" Dawn looked ashamed and asked, "Do you think you could stay with me? It's ok if you don't" "Of course Bit, anything you want." He moved to the curtains and closed them so that he wouldn't be set on fire when the sun rose. Then he made his way into the small full sized bed with Dawn. Dawn immediately held on to him and drifted off to sleep.

Spike took that time to study her face as she slept. Even though it was dark in the room Spike could still see her perfectly. He didn't want to close his eyes, thought if he did then she would be gone like every other time he woke up. He wanted to pinch himself to know that this was real, but the quiet sound of her breathing and the steady rythym of her heartbeat was all the proof he needed. And slowly he drifted off to sleep.

Dawn's POV

As Dawn slept, she dreamt of her mother and sister, and being happy and together. She felt at peace and loved at the same time, it was a feeling she never thought she would have again. It felt as if she was in heaven, she didn't know why or how she had gotten there, afterall she had she had committed suicide. Shouldn't she be burning in hell right about now? She figured she was lucky and decided she was more than grateful to be here and not to question it. All of the sudden she was torn out of what she had considered heaven and forced back into reality. She was crying now, tears were pouring from her eyes and she was clinging desperately to the cool body lying next to her.

Spike had awaken when he felt his shirt getting wetter by the second. "Dawn, pet, come on wake up. It's just a nightmare. Wake up." Dawn opened her eyes to see two concerned ocean blue eyes staring at her. "It was only a nightmare, it's over now. Don't worry, luv." That only made Dawn cry harded. "No it wasn't, Spike. That's just it. This is the nightmare, being back here. It feels like I am in hell now. I just want to go back. Please just help me go back." she sobbed.

Spike's undead heart had just broken when he heard her words. It dawned on him that she must have been in heaven, and her so called "family" had ripped her out. And to top it off, they didn't even want her back. If he thought he hated them before, now it just ran so much deeper. This time though he would make sure she felt loved and wanted. Spike didn't have any words to comfort her, so he just let her ball her eyes out on his chest. He held her tightly and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.