My Precious Empty Space
@--^-----
It was October when he left me. I remember the day like it was yesterday. He had gotten a letter over a month before, a tiny black owl that neither of us had seen before came tapping on our window, bringing with it the end of our existence. I remember how he looked at me after he read that letter; that look still haunts me to this day, although it's been six years since he left. He had proposed to me almost seven months prior, and I had accepted, but we agreed that we should wait before we were married for sure. I now regret that decision with all my heart and soul.
I had been worried when I saw him read the letter, but I had not expected what would come next. We were so happy that morning; I had awoken early and restless, and graced the tiny kitchen of our London flat with my incompetent cooking skills. The pancakes I had managed to make turned out surprisingly well, and I was foolishly happy because of it. Draco came in not much later, as I knew he would. He always seemed to wake within an hour after I did, smiling as he came to me for a good morning kiss.
This day was like every other; Draco came up behind me while I cheerfully flipped the pitiful hotcake on the toasty skillet and wrapped his arms around my waist as best he could.
"You shouldn't be cooking, Hermione. It might not be good for you," he had told me, and I smiled. Draco's concern always made me smile. I remember turning to him and placing a hand on my protruding midsection, and he smiled back at me. Draco's smile could brighten the North Pole in the winter.
"Just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean I'm incapable of lifting a spatula, Draco," I told him with a smirk, and he kissed me. I will remember that unfinished kiss forever. It was cut short; the baby kicked. Draco had looked worried when I gasped, but I grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach. As big as his ego, I would joke when he would comment on my size. It was always like that with us; we never could leave our comments to ourselves, but we never took anything personally anymore.
"Hermione, is that..." he started, eyes widened, but I nodded before he could finish. Draco had never felt the baby kick before. The little devil kicked at me again, and Draco was the one to gasp this time. I laughed as his face broke out in an amazed and overjoyed smile. He removed his hand and leaned down, placing his head over our baby's residence and listening.
But, there was nothing more. The little Malfoy was finished with his torment and didn't so much as move. Draco kept his head on me for a while, hoping for one more taste of the sensation I felt daily. I waited with him, but I knew there would be no more kicking for a while. Placing a hand in Draco's hair, I told him of this.
"I believe he's finished tormenting me," I said, smiling, and Draco looked up at me.
"I wish he'd continue for just a little longer," he said with a smirk and I glared at him. Draco laughed. "Does it hurt you, love?" he asked after a moment, and I shook my head.
"No, but it's annoying," I told him and turned back to my now slightly charred flapjack, then smirked again. "Just like his father."
"I believe I resent that," he said and kissed behind my ear. He'd done that so many times, yet each became more meaningful than the last. Just then, we were interrupted by the tiny black demon who dared call itself an owl. We simultaneously looked to the window, the impatient little omen tapping furiously at the glass.
Draco broke away from me and let the miniature beast of burden into our home. Without a word to me or the owl, he opened the peculiar envelope and extracted the letter that, to me, told of a seat for him on death row.
I spun the dial of the petty gas stove and watched the blue flame disappear, then turned to the one man I ever loved in time to see his face grow unhealthily pale.
"Draco?" I asked him, worried but ignorant. "What is it?" Draco said nothing, just continued to stare at the parchment in his hand. I placed a protective hand on my stomach as I stepped toward him, which I always did when I was nervous, then moved my other hand to touch his arm. "Draco?"
When he felt my touch, Draco turned to me as if surprised that I was even there. I was near panic now, from his silence alone. He visibly swallowed and turned his eyes to me. The look in them terrified me; I could always tell what Draco was feeling from his eyes, perhaps because I was the only one he ever told his feelings to in the first place, but my ability scared me that day.
He was scared, that was obvious, but the mixture of sorrow, regret and utter hopelessness was what unnerved me. Thinking back, what bothered me the most about his feelings that morning was that there was no shock or surprise in those eyes. Whatever this terrible news was, he had known it was going to happen... and that scared me more than anything.
"It's Dumbledore," he said and, with a gasp, I pulled my hand from his arm and brought it swiftly to my mouth.
"You mean..." I asked, knowing my suspicions had to be correct. There was only one possible reason why Dumbledore would owl us; it was the one thing we both had been dreading since leaving school two years ago. To prove my fears were true, Draco nodded, dropping his arm to his side and letting the hell sent letter drift to the checkered kitchen floor. Voldemort was back.
I stepped into him and he embraced me, hard. He held me there for what could have been hours, and I cried on his shoulder. We both knew what this meant. Draco, along with Harry, Ron, and various other Hogwarts alumni were given Auror training the summer after our graduation, and were expected to be prepared if Voldemort became a threat again. Together they had beaten him harshly during our seventh year; they made a good team once they got past all the cursing and insults.
Draco and I had been dating since the middle or our sixth year, and although we had had problems being accepted, everyone became fairly tolerant when we were named Head Boy and Girl in our seventh. Sharing a common room brought us closer than ever, and it was popular belief that we weren't going to be single again anytime soon.
After graduation, Draco and I saw very little of each other. Draco thought it best to wait a while before jumping into anything together, just in case Voldemort did return, and I had no choice but to agree. I lived with my parents and he with his for the better part of seven months, but then everything changed.
Draco's father, Lucius Malfoy, returned to his manor. He had been in hiding with other supporters of the Dark Lord, like himself, for the time, and felt that it was safe to return home. This was a horrendous threat to Draco and I, but for him in particular. His father knew about his loyalty to Dumbledore and his disgrace of the Dark One and would surely take Draco the first chance he possessed.
Draco convinced me that he wouldn't be killed by his father, merely subjected to as many curses and spells it would take to get him to join the dark side. Draco would rather die than do that, and his reassurance only scared me more.
We were lucky. Oh, God, we were so lucky. Dumbledore had a spy. Our far from beloved Professor Snape was in reality on the light side. He told Draco of his father's plans to return home, and to beware, because he had death in mind for him. Draco argued that he wouldn't kill him for being disloyal when he could simply force him into changing, but Professor Snape had more news. It was me. I would be Draco's downfall.
Snape told us of how Lucius would rant about his mudblood loving son and declared no better than Dumbledore and, like the old man, deserved only death. Draco didn't blame me, but I did. I blamed everything on me. I would kill the one man I ever loved, because of my ancestry. It cut me deep, but Draco seemed untouched. He promised me that everything would be alright, and that we would figure something out.
We did the only thing we could; went into hiding. Unlike Professor Snape, we stayed as far away from death eaters as possible. I owe my life, Draco's life, and the life of my child to that man I hated for so many years. He warned us of where not to go, where Lucius was and where he was heading. Draco took me with him. He knew that if I stayed behind, I would be killed as well. So, together, we changed our looks, changed our names, and changed our location, even going as far as to move to the Untied States to escape him.
It was only when Snape owled us with the news of Lucius' death did we return to our beloved England. Somehow, my parents had managed to both escape his wrath, despite the fact that he was searching for my home. I was lucky to have such loyal friends. None would spill a word to him of my name or whereabouts, or those of my parents. I lost two very good friends that way; Lavender Brown and Parvarti Patil. Both were killed by Lucius for withholding information.
We returned to England and rented the flat we had been living in; the same one which would be visited by a tiny black devil only months later. Draco wouldn't let me out of his sight after we returned, even though his father's life was taken. I was definitely not upset about this and showed absolutely no resistance. We had been living together in that flat ever since. As the year anniversary of Voldemort's near fatal defeat passed us, Draco and I decided that it was safe to settle down. We stayed in our apartment, but we made things more official. He purposed to me on March 13th, exactly three years after we had become an official Hogwart's couple. We were walking together through the local market place that afternoon, the sun shining and our lives seeming perfect and unable to get better.
Then it began to rain. Laughing, we hurried into the alcove of a church to escape the not entirely unwanted precipitation. We stood together for what must have been an hour, Draco holding me close and I happy to be in his arms. Then, when everything seemed ironically wonderful, Draco pulled away. I looked to him, confused, but he merely smiled at me. I didn't notice the tiny ring box in his hand until he broke our gaze and looked to it himself. It was the best rainstorm I'd ever been caught in.
Then, everything was even better than before. We acted like a newly wed couple for the rest of our time together, although we were never legally bound. No more than a month after that wonderful bout of drizzle, I was informed of my pregnancy. It seemed Junior just wanted to wait for everything to be ready before rearing his adorable little head. Once the shock wore off, both Draco and I, as well as our parents, were incredibly happy. It surprised me that my folks were so accepting, but then again, Draco did save my life.
So there we were, embracing in our tiny kitchen, I six months pregnant, and Draco, just informed of his unwanted duties. He held me while I sobbed; Draco was always so much stronger than me. Just when everything in our lives was so wonderful, the time had come. We were happy, together, engaged and expecting... but only too soon would we be torn apart.
Draco and I left immediately for Hogwarts, where the details would be explained and our men would train as much as they could before the time came for them to shove off into battle. Draco tried to convince me to stay with my parents; he thought that the stress wouldn't be good for the baby. I insisted, however, knowing that I wanted to be with him as much as possible before he left.
Dumbledore greeted us as well as Harry, Ron, Seamus Finnegan, Blaize Zambini, Neville Longbottom, and Gregory Goyle. Like Draco, Goyle had defied both his father and Voldemort and was now faithfully on the Light side. Ginny Weasley also came; she and Harry had been married just last winter. Draco and I were given our old Head Quarters to share with Harry and Ginny while the rest of the men slept in Gryffindor Tower. For an entire month we lived in fear, each day waking up and knowing that it could be today that our world turns upside down.
Then, on the third day of October, Snape arrived with news. Voldemort was back, and stronger than ever. He was planning to attack in two days. Two days. That was all I had left with my love, and all Draco had left with me and our baby.
It was raining that morning. Just like the day he proposed. There was a proposal that morning as well, but it was of the exact opposite in nature. This was a proposal for death.
All of us stood on the steps to the castle, the single men, with the exception of Ron, were mounted on their brooms and ready to take off. I stood hand in hand with Draco, dressed in black as if attending a funeral, which in a way it was. Ron came to me first. No words were exchanged between us, just a tight embrace. Harry did the same while Ron bid ado to his sister, then went to his wife for a goodbye. I turned to Draco then, and he embraced me. We shared the most passionate kiss I will ever experience, a kiss for a goodbye we'd been dreading for years.
~*~The marchin' band came down along Main Street
~*~The soldier blues fell in behind
~*~I looked across and there I saw Billy
~*~Waiting to go and join the line
~*~And with her head upon his shoulder
~*~His young and lovely fiancée
~*~From where I stood I saw she was cryin'
~*~And through her tears I heard her say
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife
~*~And as he started to go she said, Billy, keep your head low
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me
Then we broke apart, and he whispered to me four words I'll never forget.
"I love you, Hermione," he said, and his voice held such an amount of honesty that it caused my tears to flow. I didn't want him to see my tears. I wanted to wait for him to leave, but I'd never been very good at holding back anything with a will to move on. Yes, I cried. But I wasn't the only one. Draco was close to crying as well.
He pulled back from me, but didn't fully leave the embrace. Draco trailed his eyes down to the child I'd been growing for seven months and I saw the tears stream down his face. It was the first time I'd every seen Draco cry; ever. He bent down and kissed my cloaked abdomen, knowing he wouldn't see that bulge again. He waited there a moment, then brought his lips back to mine. We shared another kiss, then he embraced me again. I was sobbing now and he was crying silently, not even bothering to wipe away his tears.
"Come back to me," I told him and he held me tight. Then the moment we'd been dreading came upon us.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said, sounding like he deeply, deeply, was. I felt Draco tighten his hold on me momentarily, then he released me. We shared one last good bye kiss and he broke away completely.
"I love you, Draco," I told him, making sure he knew before we parted. He placed his hand on my abdomen once more, and as if in goodbye, Junior kicked. Despite the situation, neither of us could help but to let out a hiccupping laugh. Then, Dumbledore led my beloved away, and, at that time, it seemed like everyone in the world I loved was flying away on a broom, toward the horizon where likely death awaited.
I turned to Ginny Potter, standing beside me with tears on her face as well, and we embraced, crying on each others' shoulders. Professor McGonagall, who I had almost forgotten was even there, came to us then, wrapped her arms around us and cried as well. So there we were, three grown women and an unborn baby, crying our eyes out in the place we'd all met our dearly departed.
It was six months before we heard any word on the whereabouts or conditions of Draco, Harry, Ron, Dumbledore, or any of the others who had left that day. I stayed at Malfoy Manor with Draco's mother, Narcissa, and my parents until the baby was born. Despite the degrading state of my life, the birth of our son went surprisingly well. Although Draco and I were never officially married, our son's name is Draco Malfoy II, and in casual company I am referred to as Mrs. Malfoy. I would have left Malfoy Manor after recuperation, but Narcissa insisted that I stay.
"You are as much a Malfoy as I am, and I refuse to let you take my only grandson from me, Hermione," she said to me with the most motherly smile I had ever seen. I agreed to stay with her, and was living with her when what I believed, at the time at least, was the best owl I had ever received arrived.
It was from Dumbledore. They were coming home.
The war was over, and Voldemort was slain for good. The Dark Mark of each death eater disappeared, as well as did all evil lurking in them. Almost mocking of their former lifestyles, the death eaters became the world saving super-heroes who pulled children from wells, cats from trees, and the elderly from burning buildings. It seemed as if everything were going to be better than it ever was before.
Ginny, Narcissa, Professor McGonagall, Draco Jr. and I all stood in front of Hogwarts once again, as if we had never left. Then, we saw them. Coming over the horizon; dozens of men on brooms. My heart rejoiced, as did those of the people around me.
~*~The soldier blues were trapped on a hillside
~*~The battle raging all around
~*~The sergeant cried, We've got to hang on, boys!
~*~We've got to hold this piece of ground
~*~I need a volunteer to ride up
~*~And bring us back some extra men
~*~And Billy's hand was up in a moment
~*~Forgettin' all the words she said
~*~She said
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife
~*~And as he started to go she said, Billy, keep your head low
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me
Many of the broom clad wizards parted from the flock, heading off to their own families and loved ones. Just over a half a dozen brooms were heading toward us, and I pointed to the sky.
"Look," I said to the tiny blonde boy in my arms. "Here comes Daddy," I told him. As the men came closer, I searched through them for that gleaming blonde hair I would never forget. The dreadful sun blocked my view and I was forced to wait for them to land before I could be sure Daddy was really home. Seven men with solemn faces landed a few yards away from us, and every one of them simultaneously turned to me with a look of deepest sorrow on their faces. Because one of them was missing. Daddy never came, and my heat exploded. "No," I said, shaking my head and holding my son tight to my chest. "God, no..."
But it was true. Narcissa came to my aid, holding me tight in her arms, and we cried. But we weren't the only ones. There were seven men and two other women who cried silently on the steps that day. Because Daddy never came.
~*~I heard his fiancée got a letter
~*~That told how Billy died that day
~*~The letter said that he was a hero
~*~She should be proud he died that way
~*~I heard she threw that letter away...
It was Harry who finally told me what had happened to Draco. He didn't want to, mind you, but I wouldn't take no for an answer. There had been children. Lots of children. Voldemort seemed to enjoy tormenting things weaker than himself, and what better that muggle children of no more than five years of age. Draco had sacrificed himself for those children. Ironically, it was the same spell of love used by Harry's mother more than twenty years ago that killed my beloved. He stood in the way of the Avada for those children, and, just like two decades prior, the curse rebounded. This time, however, there were dozens of Light side wizards to hit Voldemort when he was down, and it destroyed him.
"Draco was a hero, Hermione. He saved us all," Harry had said and all I could do was nod my head. "Hermione, there's something I think you should know," he continued, holding me in his arms while I cried on his shoulder. He told me of a little boy of about two. This little boy had blonde hair and brown eyes, and looked startlingly like Draco Jr. His name was Eric. I listened as Harry told me about the boy and how he had been in trouble the day Draco died, and I cried. That was all I could do. Listen, and cry.
"What does this have to do with anything, Harry?" I asked him, suddenly not wanting to hear anymore. Harry sighed.
"Eric was the boy Draco saved that day," he told me, and I burst into almost hysterical tears. "I am absolutely sure that Draco felt as if he had been saving his own son, Hermione, or he would have thought twice." I cried on Harry's shoulder for what seemed like forever, then was finally able to speak.
"What happened to this little boy, Harry? Is he alright?" I asked, wanting to make sure I didn't lose my child's father to a lost cause. Then, Harry smiled the biggest smile I'd seen him wear since their return.
"Ginny and I have adopted him," he told me and I just burst into tears again.
As I've said, it's been six years since he left me. Draco Jr. is now five years old, and Eric is seven. With Narcissa's permission, which she granted without hesitation, I invited Harry, Ginny, and Eric to come live with Narcissa, Draco Jr., and I at Malfoy Manor. They accepted, and now Draco and Eric are like brothers. Harry was right; they look amazingly alike, and both act just like Draco.
Both Draco Jr. and Eric are enrolled in a public muggle school, because I wanted them to have contact with others their age, even if they were muggles. I don't want Draco Jr. to grow up hating those different than himself, like his father. Draco, thank god, saw past his father's example, but I don't want that risk taken with my son. I wish to set a good example for him, so there is not need to choose between family and what is right.
Eric begged Harry and Ginny to let him go to school with Draco Jr. when he found out about his going. Not wanting him to be left out, Harry enrolled him as well. One day, just last week, Draco Jr. brought home one of his friends to the manor to play with him. It made me so proud to watch him play with the muggle as if they were no different.
"Mummy! Mummy!" Draco came running up to me and I crouched down to be eye level to him.
"What is it, sweetheart?" I asked as he approached me.
"Mummy, can me and Jimmy play in the garden with Nanna and Antie Ginny?" he asked me and I looked behind him to the five year old brunette boy who was casually approaching. I smiled at him and the little boy blushed.
"Of course you can, Junior, but tell Nanna if you want to go any farther from the house, alright?" I told him and my baby smiled at me.
"Thank you Mummy," he said and happily gave me a hug, then ran off to meet his friend. I watched the two go, then followed behind them, just because I loved to watch them play.
"Wait a second, I thought your name was Draco!" I heard the boy whom I assumed was Jimmy exclaim as he and my baby walked what they believed to be out of earshot.
"It is, Jimmy," my baby said back to him with a drawl like his father's, but more childlike and innocent.
"Then how come your mummy calls you Junior?" Jimmy asked and Draco sounded sad.
"Because Draco was my Daddy's name, and it makes her cry when she thinks about him," he explained and I felt a tear slide down my face. He was right, of course. That's why I never call him Draco. Jimmy looked rather sad to see his friend look so unhappy, and Draco didn't like it either, so he changed the subject. "Come on," I heard him say. "Let's ask Nanna where Eric is. Maybe he can teach us a new game," he suggested and his friend smiled.
"Okay, Draco," Jimmy said and followed Draco into the garden. I, on the other hand, stayed where I was. Following them just didn't seem like such a good idea anymore.
That night, I went to bed early. I went to Draco's room first to check on the boys; Jimmy was spending the night with him, as he had done many times before.
"Mummy, are you going to bed now?" he asked in his innocent little voice and looked up at me. God, he looks more and more like his father everyday.
"Yes, baby. And I don't want you boys staying up all night, do you hear me?" I said and smiled, both boys smiled deviously and Jimmy spoke up.
"We won't Mrs. Malfoy," he said and I smiled to him. I love it whenever anyone calls me that.
"Alright, I'll see you two tomorrow for breakfast," I said and gave Draco a kiss on the forehead. Jimmy giggled from his place in the spare bed we had brought into the room. "Goodnight Jimmy," I said warningly.
"Goodnight Mrs. Malfoy," he said and threw the blankets over his head to muffle his radiating laughter.
"'Night, Mum," Draco said. And I smiled down at him.
"Goodnight," I said and left his room. I waited outside for a moment, listening. I heard the muffled sound of Jimmy throwing his bed covers back down and both boys laughing.
"Mums," they said at the same time and I laughed, then headed off to my own bed.
Draco Jr. came and visited me that night. He used to do so a lot when he was younger, but over the last year his visits had become less frequent. This time, however, he came for me, not for him. I was crying, trying to stay quiet, but evidently failing at it.
"Mum?" he said from my doorway and I quickly wiped the tears from my face and sat up.
"Junior. What's wrong, hunny?" I asked, holding out my arms to him. Draco came to me and gave me a hug.
"Why are you crying, Mummy?" he asked me, but I didn't answer him. I just held him tighter to me. "You're thinking about Daddy again, huh?" he asked and I let out a hiccup of a laugh. He was so smart for a five year old. I released him from my embrace and he crawled in bed beside me.
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him and Draco smirked a smirk that looked as if it came directly from his father's face.
"That's a question Mummy," he pointed out and I laughed.
"Well, can I ask you another one, then?" I asked, and Draco nodded. "Does it bother you that I don't call you Draco?" I asked him and Draco looked somewhat surprised. Then he shook his head. I smiled. "Good," I told him and brushed a stray piece of the baby fine blonde hair I simply loved from his innocent little face.
"Can I see Daddy?" he asked me and I smiled again. I reached to my side where, on the bed table, was my favorite picture of my baby's father. The picture was a muggle one, taken by my father at our graduation. Draco and I were seen there together, sitting on a bench in our graduation robes, our hands clasped. I was facing the ground with my eyes closed and Draco's profile was seen looking adoringly at me. He had left his hair un-gelled that day, at my request, and he looked dashing in his emerald green robes. As I was wearing dark scarlet robes, we looked like a pair of love-struck Christmas elves, but it was my favorite picture none the less. I handed the frame to my son and saw the smile light up his face. Draco Jr. loved that picture almost as much as I did.
Only once has Draco Jr. ever asked about his father's whereabouts.
"Mummy, is Daddy ever coming home?" he asked me one night during one of our visits when he was about three. I wanted to tell him that Daddy would be home soon and not to worry, but I couldn't lie. I also couldn't tell the truth, so I said nothing, and against my will, started to cry. Draco never asked about his father again.
"Mummy, when can I have a picture of Daddy?" he asked me this night while we looked at my favorite picture together.
"I'll get you one, sweetie." I told him and gave him a kiss on his pale blonde head. "Why don't you go back with Jimmy, alright? Just in case he wakes up," I suggested and Draco smiled.
"Okay Mummy," he said and handed me back the picture frame. My little boy hopped out of bed and started toward the door, but then he turned back to me. "You know what Mummy?" he said and took a step back toward the bed. "Eric said that I have an empty space because of Daddy. And you do too, and that's why you cry. But you know what? It's my precious empty space, and I don't want it filled in," he told me and I smiled at my wonderful son. "Goodnight Mummy, I love you," Draco finished and I kissed him again.
"I love you too, baby," I said and let my son return to his muggle-born friend. 'My precious empty space' I repeated in my mind. Draco Jr. was right; I didn't want that space filled in either.
A/N There were some mistakes in here that were bothering me, so I've reposted it, but it's still the same story. I cried when I wrote it... serious crying. I hope I cracked a couple people out there! Review! And don't be afraid to tell me you cried; that'll make me feel good! It's a sad story, if you cry, I've done my job! Lol. Thanx for reading. That song is called 'Billy, Don't Be a Hero' and is by Bo Donaldson and they Heywoods.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the characters or the song. I sort of own Draco Jr. , but I'm sure someone else had him fist, I own Jimmy and Eric, but you can use them if you like. All that bad stuff that happened I do own, but it's okay if you use it... I really don't mind.
@--^-----
It was October when he left me. I remember the day like it was yesterday. He had gotten a letter over a month before, a tiny black owl that neither of us had seen before came tapping on our window, bringing with it the end of our existence. I remember how he looked at me after he read that letter; that look still haunts me to this day, although it's been six years since he left. He had proposed to me almost seven months prior, and I had accepted, but we agreed that we should wait before we were married for sure. I now regret that decision with all my heart and soul.
I had been worried when I saw him read the letter, but I had not expected what would come next. We were so happy that morning; I had awoken early and restless, and graced the tiny kitchen of our London flat with my incompetent cooking skills. The pancakes I had managed to make turned out surprisingly well, and I was foolishly happy because of it. Draco came in not much later, as I knew he would. He always seemed to wake within an hour after I did, smiling as he came to me for a good morning kiss.
This day was like every other; Draco came up behind me while I cheerfully flipped the pitiful hotcake on the toasty skillet and wrapped his arms around my waist as best he could.
"You shouldn't be cooking, Hermione. It might not be good for you," he had told me, and I smiled. Draco's concern always made me smile. I remember turning to him and placing a hand on my protruding midsection, and he smiled back at me. Draco's smile could brighten the North Pole in the winter.
"Just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean I'm incapable of lifting a spatula, Draco," I told him with a smirk, and he kissed me. I will remember that unfinished kiss forever. It was cut short; the baby kicked. Draco had looked worried when I gasped, but I grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach. As big as his ego, I would joke when he would comment on my size. It was always like that with us; we never could leave our comments to ourselves, but we never took anything personally anymore.
"Hermione, is that..." he started, eyes widened, but I nodded before he could finish. Draco had never felt the baby kick before. The little devil kicked at me again, and Draco was the one to gasp this time. I laughed as his face broke out in an amazed and overjoyed smile. He removed his hand and leaned down, placing his head over our baby's residence and listening.
But, there was nothing more. The little Malfoy was finished with his torment and didn't so much as move. Draco kept his head on me for a while, hoping for one more taste of the sensation I felt daily. I waited with him, but I knew there would be no more kicking for a while. Placing a hand in Draco's hair, I told him of this.
"I believe he's finished tormenting me," I said, smiling, and Draco looked up at me.
"I wish he'd continue for just a little longer," he said with a smirk and I glared at him. Draco laughed. "Does it hurt you, love?" he asked after a moment, and I shook my head.
"No, but it's annoying," I told him and turned back to my now slightly charred flapjack, then smirked again. "Just like his father."
"I believe I resent that," he said and kissed behind my ear. He'd done that so many times, yet each became more meaningful than the last. Just then, we were interrupted by the tiny black demon who dared call itself an owl. We simultaneously looked to the window, the impatient little omen tapping furiously at the glass.
Draco broke away from me and let the miniature beast of burden into our home. Without a word to me or the owl, he opened the peculiar envelope and extracted the letter that, to me, told of a seat for him on death row.
I spun the dial of the petty gas stove and watched the blue flame disappear, then turned to the one man I ever loved in time to see his face grow unhealthily pale.
"Draco?" I asked him, worried but ignorant. "What is it?" Draco said nothing, just continued to stare at the parchment in his hand. I placed a protective hand on my stomach as I stepped toward him, which I always did when I was nervous, then moved my other hand to touch his arm. "Draco?"
When he felt my touch, Draco turned to me as if surprised that I was even there. I was near panic now, from his silence alone. He visibly swallowed and turned his eyes to me. The look in them terrified me; I could always tell what Draco was feeling from his eyes, perhaps because I was the only one he ever told his feelings to in the first place, but my ability scared me that day.
He was scared, that was obvious, but the mixture of sorrow, regret and utter hopelessness was what unnerved me. Thinking back, what bothered me the most about his feelings that morning was that there was no shock or surprise in those eyes. Whatever this terrible news was, he had known it was going to happen... and that scared me more than anything.
"It's Dumbledore," he said and, with a gasp, I pulled my hand from his arm and brought it swiftly to my mouth.
"You mean..." I asked, knowing my suspicions had to be correct. There was only one possible reason why Dumbledore would owl us; it was the one thing we both had been dreading since leaving school two years ago. To prove my fears were true, Draco nodded, dropping his arm to his side and letting the hell sent letter drift to the checkered kitchen floor. Voldemort was back.
I stepped into him and he embraced me, hard. He held me there for what could have been hours, and I cried on his shoulder. We both knew what this meant. Draco, along with Harry, Ron, and various other Hogwarts alumni were given Auror training the summer after our graduation, and were expected to be prepared if Voldemort became a threat again. Together they had beaten him harshly during our seventh year; they made a good team once they got past all the cursing and insults.
Draco and I had been dating since the middle or our sixth year, and although we had had problems being accepted, everyone became fairly tolerant when we were named Head Boy and Girl in our seventh. Sharing a common room brought us closer than ever, and it was popular belief that we weren't going to be single again anytime soon.
After graduation, Draco and I saw very little of each other. Draco thought it best to wait a while before jumping into anything together, just in case Voldemort did return, and I had no choice but to agree. I lived with my parents and he with his for the better part of seven months, but then everything changed.
Draco's father, Lucius Malfoy, returned to his manor. He had been in hiding with other supporters of the Dark Lord, like himself, for the time, and felt that it was safe to return home. This was a horrendous threat to Draco and I, but for him in particular. His father knew about his loyalty to Dumbledore and his disgrace of the Dark One and would surely take Draco the first chance he possessed.
Draco convinced me that he wouldn't be killed by his father, merely subjected to as many curses and spells it would take to get him to join the dark side. Draco would rather die than do that, and his reassurance only scared me more.
We were lucky. Oh, God, we were so lucky. Dumbledore had a spy. Our far from beloved Professor Snape was in reality on the light side. He told Draco of his father's plans to return home, and to beware, because he had death in mind for him. Draco argued that he wouldn't kill him for being disloyal when he could simply force him into changing, but Professor Snape had more news. It was me. I would be Draco's downfall.
Snape told us of how Lucius would rant about his mudblood loving son and declared no better than Dumbledore and, like the old man, deserved only death. Draco didn't blame me, but I did. I blamed everything on me. I would kill the one man I ever loved, because of my ancestry. It cut me deep, but Draco seemed untouched. He promised me that everything would be alright, and that we would figure something out.
We did the only thing we could; went into hiding. Unlike Professor Snape, we stayed as far away from death eaters as possible. I owe my life, Draco's life, and the life of my child to that man I hated for so many years. He warned us of where not to go, where Lucius was and where he was heading. Draco took me with him. He knew that if I stayed behind, I would be killed as well. So, together, we changed our looks, changed our names, and changed our location, even going as far as to move to the Untied States to escape him.
It was only when Snape owled us with the news of Lucius' death did we return to our beloved England. Somehow, my parents had managed to both escape his wrath, despite the fact that he was searching for my home. I was lucky to have such loyal friends. None would spill a word to him of my name or whereabouts, or those of my parents. I lost two very good friends that way; Lavender Brown and Parvarti Patil. Both were killed by Lucius for withholding information.
We returned to England and rented the flat we had been living in; the same one which would be visited by a tiny black devil only months later. Draco wouldn't let me out of his sight after we returned, even though his father's life was taken. I was definitely not upset about this and showed absolutely no resistance. We had been living together in that flat ever since. As the year anniversary of Voldemort's near fatal defeat passed us, Draco and I decided that it was safe to settle down. We stayed in our apartment, but we made things more official. He purposed to me on March 13th, exactly three years after we had become an official Hogwart's couple. We were walking together through the local market place that afternoon, the sun shining and our lives seeming perfect and unable to get better.
Then it began to rain. Laughing, we hurried into the alcove of a church to escape the not entirely unwanted precipitation. We stood together for what must have been an hour, Draco holding me close and I happy to be in his arms. Then, when everything seemed ironically wonderful, Draco pulled away. I looked to him, confused, but he merely smiled at me. I didn't notice the tiny ring box in his hand until he broke our gaze and looked to it himself. It was the best rainstorm I'd ever been caught in.
Then, everything was even better than before. We acted like a newly wed couple for the rest of our time together, although we were never legally bound. No more than a month after that wonderful bout of drizzle, I was informed of my pregnancy. It seemed Junior just wanted to wait for everything to be ready before rearing his adorable little head. Once the shock wore off, both Draco and I, as well as our parents, were incredibly happy. It surprised me that my folks were so accepting, but then again, Draco did save my life.
So there we were, embracing in our tiny kitchen, I six months pregnant, and Draco, just informed of his unwanted duties. He held me while I sobbed; Draco was always so much stronger than me. Just when everything in our lives was so wonderful, the time had come. We were happy, together, engaged and expecting... but only too soon would we be torn apart.
Draco and I left immediately for Hogwarts, where the details would be explained and our men would train as much as they could before the time came for them to shove off into battle. Draco tried to convince me to stay with my parents; he thought that the stress wouldn't be good for the baby. I insisted, however, knowing that I wanted to be with him as much as possible before he left.
Dumbledore greeted us as well as Harry, Ron, Seamus Finnegan, Blaize Zambini, Neville Longbottom, and Gregory Goyle. Like Draco, Goyle had defied both his father and Voldemort and was now faithfully on the Light side. Ginny Weasley also came; she and Harry had been married just last winter. Draco and I were given our old Head Quarters to share with Harry and Ginny while the rest of the men slept in Gryffindor Tower. For an entire month we lived in fear, each day waking up and knowing that it could be today that our world turns upside down.
Then, on the third day of October, Snape arrived with news. Voldemort was back, and stronger than ever. He was planning to attack in two days. Two days. That was all I had left with my love, and all Draco had left with me and our baby.
It was raining that morning. Just like the day he proposed. There was a proposal that morning as well, but it was of the exact opposite in nature. This was a proposal for death.
All of us stood on the steps to the castle, the single men, with the exception of Ron, were mounted on their brooms and ready to take off. I stood hand in hand with Draco, dressed in black as if attending a funeral, which in a way it was. Ron came to me first. No words were exchanged between us, just a tight embrace. Harry did the same while Ron bid ado to his sister, then went to his wife for a goodbye. I turned to Draco then, and he embraced me. We shared the most passionate kiss I will ever experience, a kiss for a goodbye we'd been dreading for years.
~*~The marchin' band came down along Main Street
~*~The soldier blues fell in behind
~*~I looked across and there I saw Billy
~*~Waiting to go and join the line
~*~And with her head upon his shoulder
~*~His young and lovely fiancée
~*~From where I stood I saw she was cryin'
~*~And through her tears I heard her say
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife
~*~And as he started to go she said, Billy, keep your head low
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me
Then we broke apart, and he whispered to me four words I'll never forget.
"I love you, Hermione," he said, and his voice held such an amount of honesty that it caused my tears to flow. I didn't want him to see my tears. I wanted to wait for him to leave, but I'd never been very good at holding back anything with a will to move on. Yes, I cried. But I wasn't the only one. Draco was close to crying as well.
He pulled back from me, but didn't fully leave the embrace. Draco trailed his eyes down to the child I'd been growing for seven months and I saw the tears stream down his face. It was the first time I'd every seen Draco cry; ever. He bent down and kissed my cloaked abdomen, knowing he wouldn't see that bulge again. He waited there a moment, then brought his lips back to mine. We shared another kiss, then he embraced me again. I was sobbing now and he was crying silently, not even bothering to wipe away his tears.
"Come back to me," I told him and he held me tight. Then the moment we'd been dreading came upon us.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said, sounding like he deeply, deeply, was. I felt Draco tighten his hold on me momentarily, then he released me. We shared one last good bye kiss and he broke away completely.
"I love you, Draco," I told him, making sure he knew before we parted. He placed his hand on my abdomen once more, and as if in goodbye, Junior kicked. Despite the situation, neither of us could help but to let out a hiccupping laugh. Then, Dumbledore led my beloved away, and, at that time, it seemed like everyone in the world I loved was flying away on a broom, toward the horizon where likely death awaited.
I turned to Ginny Potter, standing beside me with tears on her face as well, and we embraced, crying on each others' shoulders. Professor McGonagall, who I had almost forgotten was even there, came to us then, wrapped her arms around us and cried as well. So there we were, three grown women and an unborn baby, crying our eyes out in the place we'd all met our dearly departed.
It was six months before we heard any word on the whereabouts or conditions of Draco, Harry, Ron, Dumbledore, or any of the others who had left that day. I stayed at Malfoy Manor with Draco's mother, Narcissa, and my parents until the baby was born. Despite the degrading state of my life, the birth of our son went surprisingly well. Although Draco and I were never officially married, our son's name is Draco Malfoy II, and in casual company I am referred to as Mrs. Malfoy. I would have left Malfoy Manor after recuperation, but Narcissa insisted that I stay.
"You are as much a Malfoy as I am, and I refuse to let you take my only grandson from me, Hermione," she said to me with the most motherly smile I had ever seen. I agreed to stay with her, and was living with her when what I believed, at the time at least, was the best owl I had ever received arrived.
It was from Dumbledore. They were coming home.
The war was over, and Voldemort was slain for good. The Dark Mark of each death eater disappeared, as well as did all evil lurking in them. Almost mocking of their former lifestyles, the death eaters became the world saving super-heroes who pulled children from wells, cats from trees, and the elderly from burning buildings. It seemed as if everything were going to be better than it ever was before.
Ginny, Narcissa, Professor McGonagall, Draco Jr. and I all stood in front of Hogwarts once again, as if we had never left. Then, we saw them. Coming over the horizon; dozens of men on brooms. My heart rejoiced, as did those of the people around me.
~*~The soldier blues were trapped on a hillside
~*~The battle raging all around
~*~The sergeant cried, We've got to hang on, boys!
~*~We've got to hold this piece of ground
~*~I need a volunteer to ride up
~*~And bring us back some extra men
~*~And Billy's hand was up in a moment
~*~Forgettin' all the words she said
~*~She said
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife
~*~And as he started to go she said, Billy, keep your head low
~*~Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me
Many of the broom clad wizards parted from the flock, heading off to their own families and loved ones. Just over a half a dozen brooms were heading toward us, and I pointed to the sky.
"Look," I said to the tiny blonde boy in my arms. "Here comes Daddy," I told him. As the men came closer, I searched through them for that gleaming blonde hair I would never forget. The dreadful sun blocked my view and I was forced to wait for them to land before I could be sure Daddy was really home. Seven men with solemn faces landed a few yards away from us, and every one of them simultaneously turned to me with a look of deepest sorrow on their faces. Because one of them was missing. Daddy never came, and my heat exploded. "No," I said, shaking my head and holding my son tight to my chest. "God, no..."
But it was true. Narcissa came to my aid, holding me tight in her arms, and we cried. But we weren't the only ones. There were seven men and two other women who cried silently on the steps that day. Because Daddy never came.
~*~I heard his fiancée got a letter
~*~That told how Billy died that day
~*~The letter said that he was a hero
~*~She should be proud he died that way
~*~I heard she threw that letter away...
It was Harry who finally told me what had happened to Draco. He didn't want to, mind you, but I wouldn't take no for an answer. There had been children. Lots of children. Voldemort seemed to enjoy tormenting things weaker than himself, and what better that muggle children of no more than five years of age. Draco had sacrificed himself for those children. Ironically, it was the same spell of love used by Harry's mother more than twenty years ago that killed my beloved. He stood in the way of the Avada for those children, and, just like two decades prior, the curse rebounded. This time, however, there were dozens of Light side wizards to hit Voldemort when he was down, and it destroyed him.
"Draco was a hero, Hermione. He saved us all," Harry had said and all I could do was nod my head. "Hermione, there's something I think you should know," he continued, holding me in his arms while I cried on his shoulder. He told me of a little boy of about two. This little boy had blonde hair and brown eyes, and looked startlingly like Draco Jr. His name was Eric. I listened as Harry told me about the boy and how he had been in trouble the day Draco died, and I cried. That was all I could do. Listen, and cry.
"What does this have to do with anything, Harry?" I asked him, suddenly not wanting to hear anymore. Harry sighed.
"Eric was the boy Draco saved that day," he told me, and I burst into almost hysterical tears. "I am absolutely sure that Draco felt as if he had been saving his own son, Hermione, or he would have thought twice." I cried on Harry's shoulder for what seemed like forever, then was finally able to speak.
"What happened to this little boy, Harry? Is he alright?" I asked, wanting to make sure I didn't lose my child's father to a lost cause. Then, Harry smiled the biggest smile I'd seen him wear since their return.
"Ginny and I have adopted him," he told me and I just burst into tears again.
As I've said, it's been six years since he left me. Draco Jr. is now five years old, and Eric is seven. With Narcissa's permission, which she granted without hesitation, I invited Harry, Ginny, and Eric to come live with Narcissa, Draco Jr., and I at Malfoy Manor. They accepted, and now Draco and Eric are like brothers. Harry was right; they look amazingly alike, and both act just like Draco.
Both Draco Jr. and Eric are enrolled in a public muggle school, because I wanted them to have contact with others their age, even if they were muggles. I don't want Draco Jr. to grow up hating those different than himself, like his father. Draco, thank god, saw past his father's example, but I don't want that risk taken with my son. I wish to set a good example for him, so there is not need to choose between family and what is right.
Eric begged Harry and Ginny to let him go to school with Draco Jr. when he found out about his going. Not wanting him to be left out, Harry enrolled him as well. One day, just last week, Draco Jr. brought home one of his friends to the manor to play with him. It made me so proud to watch him play with the muggle as if they were no different.
"Mummy! Mummy!" Draco came running up to me and I crouched down to be eye level to him.
"What is it, sweetheart?" I asked as he approached me.
"Mummy, can me and Jimmy play in the garden with Nanna and Antie Ginny?" he asked me and I looked behind him to the five year old brunette boy who was casually approaching. I smiled at him and the little boy blushed.
"Of course you can, Junior, but tell Nanna if you want to go any farther from the house, alright?" I told him and my baby smiled at me.
"Thank you Mummy," he said and happily gave me a hug, then ran off to meet his friend. I watched the two go, then followed behind them, just because I loved to watch them play.
"Wait a second, I thought your name was Draco!" I heard the boy whom I assumed was Jimmy exclaim as he and my baby walked what they believed to be out of earshot.
"It is, Jimmy," my baby said back to him with a drawl like his father's, but more childlike and innocent.
"Then how come your mummy calls you Junior?" Jimmy asked and Draco sounded sad.
"Because Draco was my Daddy's name, and it makes her cry when she thinks about him," he explained and I felt a tear slide down my face. He was right, of course. That's why I never call him Draco. Jimmy looked rather sad to see his friend look so unhappy, and Draco didn't like it either, so he changed the subject. "Come on," I heard him say. "Let's ask Nanna where Eric is. Maybe he can teach us a new game," he suggested and his friend smiled.
"Okay, Draco," Jimmy said and followed Draco into the garden. I, on the other hand, stayed where I was. Following them just didn't seem like such a good idea anymore.
That night, I went to bed early. I went to Draco's room first to check on the boys; Jimmy was spending the night with him, as he had done many times before.
"Mummy, are you going to bed now?" he asked in his innocent little voice and looked up at me. God, he looks more and more like his father everyday.
"Yes, baby. And I don't want you boys staying up all night, do you hear me?" I said and smiled, both boys smiled deviously and Jimmy spoke up.
"We won't Mrs. Malfoy," he said and I smiled to him. I love it whenever anyone calls me that.
"Alright, I'll see you two tomorrow for breakfast," I said and gave Draco a kiss on the forehead. Jimmy giggled from his place in the spare bed we had brought into the room. "Goodnight Jimmy," I said warningly.
"Goodnight Mrs. Malfoy," he said and threw the blankets over his head to muffle his radiating laughter.
"'Night, Mum," Draco said. And I smiled down at him.
"Goodnight," I said and left his room. I waited outside for a moment, listening. I heard the muffled sound of Jimmy throwing his bed covers back down and both boys laughing.
"Mums," they said at the same time and I laughed, then headed off to my own bed.
Draco Jr. came and visited me that night. He used to do so a lot when he was younger, but over the last year his visits had become less frequent. This time, however, he came for me, not for him. I was crying, trying to stay quiet, but evidently failing at it.
"Mum?" he said from my doorway and I quickly wiped the tears from my face and sat up.
"Junior. What's wrong, hunny?" I asked, holding out my arms to him. Draco came to me and gave me a hug.
"Why are you crying, Mummy?" he asked me, but I didn't answer him. I just held him tighter to me. "You're thinking about Daddy again, huh?" he asked and I let out a hiccup of a laugh. He was so smart for a five year old. I released him from my embrace and he crawled in bed beside me.
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him and Draco smirked a smirk that looked as if it came directly from his father's face.
"That's a question Mummy," he pointed out and I laughed.
"Well, can I ask you another one, then?" I asked, and Draco nodded. "Does it bother you that I don't call you Draco?" I asked him and Draco looked somewhat surprised. Then he shook his head. I smiled. "Good," I told him and brushed a stray piece of the baby fine blonde hair I simply loved from his innocent little face.
"Can I see Daddy?" he asked me and I smiled again. I reached to my side where, on the bed table, was my favorite picture of my baby's father. The picture was a muggle one, taken by my father at our graduation. Draco and I were seen there together, sitting on a bench in our graduation robes, our hands clasped. I was facing the ground with my eyes closed and Draco's profile was seen looking adoringly at me. He had left his hair un-gelled that day, at my request, and he looked dashing in his emerald green robes. As I was wearing dark scarlet robes, we looked like a pair of love-struck Christmas elves, but it was my favorite picture none the less. I handed the frame to my son and saw the smile light up his face. Draco Jr. loved that picture almost as much as I did.
Only once has Draco Jr. ever asked about his father's whereabouts.
"Mummy, is Daddy ever coming home?" he asked me one night during one of our visits when he was about three. I wanted to tell him that Daddy would be home soon and not to worry, but I couldn't lie. I also couldn't tell the truth, so I said nothing, and against my will, started to cry. Draco never asked about his father again.
"Mummy, when can I have a picture of Daddy?" he asked me this night while we looked at my favorite picture together.
"I'll get you one, sweetie." I told him and gave him a kiss on his pale blonde head. "Why don't you go back with Jimmy, alright? Just in case he wakes up," I suggested and Draco smiled.
"Okay Mummy," he said and handed me back the picture frame. My little boy hopped out of bed and started toward the door, but then he turned back to me. "You know what Mummy?" he said and took a step back toward the bed. "Eric said that I have an empty space because of Daddy. And you do too, and that's why you cry. But you know what? It's my precious empty space, and I don't want it filled in," he told me and I smiled at my wonderful son. "Goodnight Mummy, I love you," Draco finished and I kissed him again.
"I love you too, baby," I said and let my son return to his muggle-born friend. 'My precious empty space' I repeated in my mind. Draco Jr. was right; I didn't want that space filled in either.
A/N There were some mistakes in here that were bothering me, so I've reposted it, but it's still the same story. I cried when I wrote it... serious crying. I hope I cracked a couple people out there! Review! And don't be afraid to tell me you cried; that'll make me feel good! It's a sad story, if you cry, I've done my job! Lol. Thanx for reading. That song is called 'Billy, Don't Be a Hero' and is by Bo Donaldson and they Heywoods.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the characters or the song. I sort of own Draco Jr. , but I'm sure someone else had him fist, I own Jimmy and Eric, but you can use them if you like. All that bad stuff that happened I do own, but it's okay if you use it... I really don't mind.