Preface

She'd been seven years old when the USS Excalibur crash landed in a field behind the Stafford family home. The sound of metal crunching into the ground and the accompanying blast that shook the place to its foundations had woken all of the sleeping family members inside. She remembered her mother screaming as she raced from room to room to make sure everyone was okay, her father barrelling into bedrooms to get her oldest brothers, their pets racing up and down the hallways making noise and tripping people. The place looked like it had been hit by an earthquake.

Her mom had tried to keep her and her youngest brother Alexander at her side while the rest of the family went to explore; her struggles had almost ripped her nightgown at the neckline before Ruth had given up and let them both run to where Nicholas Stafford was trying to get closer to the wreckage in attempt to see if anyone had made it.

She and her four siblings were half watching him, half staring up at the massive ship in awe. Things like this didn't happen in their tiny town, it was exciting. In their silence neighbours from nearby began turning up to aid their father; the children found themselves pushed back from the ship.

Her oldest sibling Elijah broke their stunned silence "I'm gonna fly one of these things one day" he'd told them confidently "soon as I'm old enough I'm gonna go to the academy"

"There'll be a hell more crashes if you're behind the wheel, I barely like getting in the truck with you behind the wheel" the second oldest Benjamin had joked. It had started a silly argument that she'd tuned out of the second the first person emerged from inside the ship, she clutched the sides of her nightgown – one of her brothers hand-me-down t-shirts – as she watched; he was clinging to her father, his gold shirt stained red with blood from a wound that wasn't visible but he was alive, mumbling to Nicholas as he helped him into the arms of a neighbour.

She'd taken off at that point, rushing towards the man and ignoring her brothers as they shouted her name loudly. She barrelled through the crowd until she found a small gap and popped out right at his side; he was grimacing in pain, covered in dirt and the blood was still bubbling up from the wound beneath his shirt. She wasn't brave enough to say anything so stood at the side of his stretcher staring at him; she wasn't sure what she felt as she looked at him; twenty years on the feeling still remained a mystery.

When he turned to readjust himself he finally spotted her, despite everything he forced a shaky smile and nodded at her; he cleared his throat, turned away to spit a mouthful of blood onto the ground then turned back – he smiled again before speaking – "what's your name kid?" he asked in a gruff, strained whisper

"Michaela, my brothers call me Mickey" she kept her voice soft, she didn't want to startle him or draw any attention to herself; she didn't want to get into trouble for bothering him. As he gathered the energy to speak again she added "you can call me Micky if you want".

He smiled then coughed again, turning away to spit the blood out before nodding slowly again.

"Thanks Mickey, I'm Captain Telford. You can call me Tate" – he'd taken a few deep, unsteady breaths after that – "Is this your house Mickey?" she'd nodded "I'm sorry I nearly crushed it" he tried to laugh along with her but began choking and almost rolled from the stretcher when he'd turned to spit "Can I ask you to do something for me Mickey?" he was shaking violently, his entire body vibrating in place. Mickey nodded and moved closer but not close enough that her toes would be in the bloody grass beneath him.

Other survivors began to arrive, some of them lying on stretchers, most on the grass when the beds ran out. Mickey took a moment to look around before putting her attention back on Tate who was staring at her intently. The Captain took another shaky breath "Can you hold my hand?" he forced his fingers open so his open palm was facing upwards next to him; Mickey looked from his hand to his face a few times before sitting her tiny hand on top of his. He'd closed his fingers around it tightly; she still remembered how tightly he'd held on, clutching to her like she was his lifeline as he began crying. He lifted their hands to rest against his chest, she could feel his heartbeat through his hand; it was soft and didn't have a pattern the way hers did. He blinked a few times "I know grown-ups are supposed to be brave but I'm feeling pretty scared right now" he confessed, he looked to her and tried to blink his tears away "You're brave though Mickey, brave enough to be the Captain of a ship like this".

His grip tightened after that, her hand was locked against his chest as he began convulsing and when a cough spurted blood into the air she'd let out a frightened scream. It caught the attention of people around her and she was torn out away from Tate, his grip on her arm held until she was far enough away and she was left with a stinging red mark that she rubbed as Zachary pulled her against his chest. Her crossed his arms across her chest to keep her in place until Benjamin appeared next to him and took her into his arms, he lifted her even though he repeatedly told her she was too big to be carried; he hugged her close, tucking her head under into the crook of his neck in an attempt to shield her.

She saw it though; saw the moment the doctor gave up on Captain Tate and they moved away from his dead body. It was the first dead body she'd ever seen; she couldn't stop the tears then even if she didn't fully understand what was going on.

Benjamin turned and began walking back towards the house; they passed their mother who began to follow but stopped quickly and wrapped her arm around Zackary's shoulder pulling him into her side. The fire began to fade and the shouts began to become background noise the closer they got to the backdoor.

"Benny?" she asked softly when she was sure it was just the two of them, he hummed softly in response "Captain Tate said I could be a captain, do you think he was right?"

"Think you could do whatever the hell you want Mick" he sighed quietly as he reached for the door handle "try and sleep tonight. Starfleet will still be there tomorrow".