I'm not a little girl
So promise you won't hide it
Raw as it comes
Oh don't you try to disguise it
Reality is crashing it
And it hits me like broken glass
It's like my entire life
Just got really really fast
He can't be gone, everyone around me's trying to stay strong but if I'm honest I'd rather they stopped pretending. I can't keep it together anymore but I will not be the only one to cry, not in front of anyone. See I've just lost my dad to a heart attack and so far I've kept going as normal but I'm at that stage now where it's just not possible. Days and nights melt into one and surprisingly fly by as I lay thinking and attempting to keep things the same.
Like a melting cloud
I cry out for you yeah
Like an empty room
I'll be missing you
Yeah
You weren't even old, this shouldn't have happened. It's like someone's ripped my heart out, stomped on it a few times before putting it back in bruised and battered. Life's empty without you, I miss you.
We've got so much more to live
We've got so much more to do
Life won't be the same without you oh ohhhoh
We've got so much more to laugh
We've got so much more to lose
Life won't be the same without you ohhh
We still had lots to do, you have to walk me down the aisle, to dance around the room with your first grandchild. First though you couldn't wait to do the whole proud father routine at results day. We still had all the teenage arguments to get through which would have ended in my ignoring you for days on end. For all your annoying qualities though you never failed to make me laugh or make me feel like the most special girl in the world, and it's possibly the sound of your laugh that I'll miss most.
Staring at the dark
I'm the only one awake
Trying to control my tears
But this is stupid hard to take
I wanna see the good in this
But it just doesn't make any sense ohh
Like a bird that never flew
I'll cry out for you
Like a rose that never grew
I'll be missing you
I shouldn't do this in the middle of the night, I shouldn't start thinking of all the qualities that I miss so much because it leads to tears. I need to keep these tears to a minimum because I know my mum will be in the room next door crying and I don't need to alert her to the fact that I'm awake let alone sat in tears. I like to see at least one positive in everything no matter how hard it is, it was my talent, but there's absolutely no good in this and that's an alien concept to me.
I wish we'd spent more time together
I should have come to see you more
And now I'm here trying to fill the space
That once was framed by your face
I wish I'd not have spent as much time in my room on my own, I wish I'd not gone out to as many parties or just being out with friends. I loved you so much but I took your presence for granted and now it's gone I'm lost.