Got really bored. This'll be a two parter… or maybe eight? I don't know. Again boredom is a drug. READ AND REVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!
Crack in The House; Is The Author on Drugs?
Dante stumbled into the living room, "Bitches be like daaaamn girl…"
Senna raised an eyebrow as she put down her 50 Shades book and turned off The Golden Girls, "You're fucking high right now?"
He squinted at her, "Bojangles how the hell'd you get in my house?"
Senna stood up from the couch and started walking towards the door, "I'm going to Tsubaki's. Pretty sure nothing stupid's going on there."
She headed for the door but he wrapped his arms around her waist, "WAIT WHAT IF THE FIRE BREATHING TRASHBAGS COME BACK?!"
"THEN I HOPE THEY ALONG WITH TALKING GUMMY BEARS KILL YOUR ASS!"
AT TSUBAKI'S (WHICH YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT SENNA WAS HEADING THERE)
Tsubaki walked into the living room, "Senna just called, she's on her way over."
He raised an eyebrow, "Are we gonna tell her?"
She smiled, "Senna can be really understanding at times." Black*Star was about to comment when they heard,
"THAT FUCKING WELP! HOW DARE HE CALL ME BOJANGLES IN MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!"
Tsubaki sighed, "Then again sometimes she can be a real bitch…"
The door slammed open, "I demand toast woman. With jam." She said as she plopped onto the couch. Tsubaki sighed as she walked into the kitchen. Black*Star and Senna sat in uncomfortable tense silence until she returned, "Hell yeah jam mutherfucker!" She bit into a piece while glancing at Black*Star and Tsubaki, "Did I miss something?"
Tsubaki took a deep breath but Black*Star blurted it out, "Tsubaki and I got married."
Senna stared at them, "What. The. Fuck?"
Black*Star stood and hurried towards the door, "GOING TO SOUL'S! LOVE YOU! BYE!"
Senna glared at Tsubaki, "I must have got a contact high from Dante because what just came out of his mouth can't be possible…"
"It's true."
"IS EVERYONE FUCKING HIGH TODAY?!"
SOUL AND MAKA'S
Black*Star was sitting comfortably on Soul's couch as Soul sat in shock. The news Black*Star had just told him shocked into a state of which even Excalibur might not escape.
Maka came walking into the living room with a tray in her hands, "I thought you guys could use some lemonade." She said happily.
Soul recovered, "Black*Star just told me he and Tsubaki got hitched."
She blinked, "Heh?"
"They're married."
She turned and glared at Black*Star, "You don't get any lemonade…"
Black*Star stood up, "Well this has been a lovely visit… We must do it again… BYE!" He rushed out.
Soul ran a hand through his hair, "Fuck me…"
"When? Where? How?" Maka said quickly.
"What?"
"NOTHING!" She rushed into her room.
GALLOW'S MANOR
"Soooo…" Kid started as he glared down at Dante, Ed, and Elliot, "What you're trying to tell me is that now whenever the people you live with give you grief… You run over here."
"Yep." They all said.
Patty and Liz came running in. Patty was dressed in a ridiculous blue skating outfit, "GUESS WHERE I'M GOING?!"
"A sanitarium up north?" Ed proposed.
Kid sighed, "Patty these ridiculous gimmicks you keep getting yourself into are tiresome. Can't you see I'm trying to scold here? I'm trying to tell them that they can't run here whenever they have a problem."
"Ooooh I see. You know, whenever me and sis get into a fight and she threatens to leave I just give her a big hug and everything gets all better because hugs are like kisses with your arms and are warm and squishy and make everyone feel better." She explained.
"Ever smoke enough pot that Patty makes sense?" Dante asked, "Me neither."
She went on, "But it's not just hugs that make everything better, tickles also help because tickles make the world go round and round, but sometimes you have to stop tickling because your sister can't breathe and she yells 'Stop! Stop!' but you don't listen because you're having just way to much fun and from then on your sister never lets you tickle her again because last time she had to go to the hospital because her tummy hurt so bad an-" Liz clamped her hand over Patty's mouth,
"I think Patty's made two very good points here. One, not all psychotics are dangerous. Two, all you need to do is apologize and all is forgotten."
Elliot shook his head, "I don't know, I still think Patty has the capacity to kill."
Suddenly Black*Star came running through the house, "ME AND TSUBAKI GOT MARRIED! BYE!" He ran back through, "OH AND LEMMY'S PREGGERS!"
Everyone turned to stare at Ed who was suddenly missing. Kid raised an eyebrow, "What an amazing clusterfuck that just happened here."
Patty nodded, "I wonder if Lemmy noticed she's not in this chapter? Oh she will be very pissed…"
'Lemmy doesn't give a shit' as she stood on the roof of Gallows Manor with a few sticks of dynamite, "I'll teach them to leave me out." She said lighting the fuse before dropping it on the balcony as she jumped and pulled her parachute, "TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING BITCHES." She yelled smiling with a devious grin, "I LOVE YOU ED BUT YOU GUYS CAN BE REAL PRICKS SOMETIMES." As she landed she watched the huge explosion in the distance, "Ha..ha I get the last laugh now."
Blood pulled up in a bright red Camaro and took off his shades, "Hey girl, 'bout time we dissed those guys."
She stared at him for a moment, "Wait… YOU WEREN' T IN THE FUCKING HOUSE?" She fell to her knees, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO!"
To be continued…