Things that will NEVER happen!

Chapter 1

Hello! I'm your host, Riku! I hope you are ready to pee your self! This is a show (AKA Fanfic) about the Inu Gang. Thing's that HOPFULLY will never happen. Ok! First scenario!

If Inuyasha died…

Naraku, Sesshomaru, and Jaken sat in a chamber eating chicken. Suddenly the door opens and Inuyasha walks in. "OOOOOOOOOOO! Narakuuuuu, I'm a ghosssst! OOOOOOOOO Feeaaaar meeeee!" he said, if a spooky voice, flailing his arms. "AHHH! A GHOST! IT WASN'T ME! THE TOAD DID IT!" Naraku screamed in a freakishly girly voice. Jaken started chocking on a chicken bone. He died. Sesshomaru started poking him. "Damn…. He's dead! Who'll look after Rin while I'm doing stuff! Stupid Jaken!" and Sesshomaru started stomping on Jaken. Naraku blinked. "Ok…. Um… I'll just go then…" and off Inuyasha left, leaving a dead Jaken, a MAD Sesshomaru, and a crying Naraku behind him.

Ahahaha! That was weird! Next up! Ohh, I love Sesshomaru! But this one is about Inuyasha, Kagome and Kikyo!

If Inuyasha, Kikyo and Kagome were left in a room together.

"Inuyasha, ditch Kagome and come with me!" cried Kikyo, hugging Inuyasha. "Uhhhhhhh…." "DAMN IT! Like hell! At least I'm ALL woman, unlike you, you man!" screamed Kagome. "Well, I couldn't tell by lookin at you! Your so FLAT!" yelled Kikyo. "Exuse ME! Miss 'I attract men on drugs!'" "I do NOT!" "Do!" "NOT!""DO!""NOT!" "Then what do you call Naraku?" Kagome yelled. "….." replied Kikyo. "Aha!" "Well, your mom must be dead, because one look at you and ANY ONE would die!" Kagome pulled out an arrow and stabbed Kikyo to death. "AHA! I rule! MUAHAHAHA! Inuyasha is MIIINE!" hugs Inuyasha. She strokes his head. "My precious…. Hissssssssss" "Uh…. Ok then…" said Inuyasha.

YES! DOWN with Kikyo. Sadly Kagome would never do that. Oh well! This is getting interesting! Next we have a scene with Miroku, Sango and 3 random girls who love Miroku!

If Sango got REALLY mad!

Sango glared as Miroku were talking to the three girls. "DAMN IT!" and she body checked a blond. "Hands off BLONDY! Miroku is MINE!" and she beat the blond to a pulp with her Hirikotsu. "Any one ELSE want to try me?" and the other two ran off. Miroku blinked. "Your MINE Miroku…. All mine!" and she put Miroku in a cage. "Muahaha! MINE! MINE! MIIIINE!" and she started poking with a stick, making "Tee hee!" she cried.

OMG! Sango! Your so mean! Anyways, next scene is with Kagome and Sango! Ohhh, this'll be good!

If Kagome and Sango where in a hot spring…

"Kagome, Miroku is waaay better than Inuyasha!" said Sango randomly. "NO WAY! Inuyasha is always defeating the demons cause Miroku can't use his only talent, the wind-tunnle!" cried Kagome. "Really? Who is always's getting us places to sleep?" asked Sango. ""Phhht, SURE, he lies to people to get us a free stay! BIG whoop! Inuyasha is STONGER and HOTTER than Miroku!" cried Kagome screamed. Sango slapped Kagome. Kagome yanked Sango's hair. Sango shoved Kagome under the water. Kagome pulled her under with her. Then they stopped. "You know who's hottest? Sesshomaru!" cried Kagome. "Hey, I guess your right! He's MINE!" cried Sango. "No mine!" and they got in another cat fight. "Hissssss" cried Kagome. "Meow!" cried Sango. They got dressed and left.

Ok, random. But Miroku is hotter than Inuyasha, by 1 point! Sesshomaru dose out hot them though. Ahahaha! Ok, I put that on in cause I'm a because I am a fan lol. Moving on. Our last one for the night folks! Relax! There is always the next episode! (Or chapter….)

If Sesshomaru and Inuyasha went to a spa…

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru walked into a spa. The lady looked at Sesshomaru. "Ummmm, this is an all male spa… no woman aloud. Mister, next time leave your wife at home" "WHAT! You prat! I AM a man! And we are BOTHERS! You disgust me!" said Sesshomaru. Inuyasha wanted to hurl. "Oh! My apologize. This way" and she brought them into the mud room, and shoved Sesshomaru into it. "AHAHA! MUAHAHA!" she cried and ran off, leaving Inuyasha laughing on the ground. "AHA! Sesshomaru! You look so pretty! AHAHAHAHA!" Inuyasha chocked out. "See? This is EXACTLY why I hate going to these places with you. Same old. Lady calls me a woman, shoves me in mud pool, run away, you laugh your butt off. This sucks" Sesshomaru whined. Inuyasha laughed harder. "BUT IT GETS FUNNIER EVERY TIME!" and Seshhomaru and Inuyasha left. One with a happy smile, one dripping in mud. Now if you can't figure out which one's which, your retarded.

OMG! Poor Sesshy! I'll kill that woman! Grrrrrrrr. Anyway's! Thanks for watching! (Or reading…) Tune in next time for the next episode! (CHAPTER!) Sent me some idea's for things that will NEVER happen! And who know's, you might make a guest appearance to host your idea! See you next time! Embaressing stuff is funny… when it isn't happening to you!